The Primrose Bride (28 page)

CHAPTER NINE

There w
as a storm during the night, and when dawn came a thick mist blanketed the house and the road dripped with nerve-wearing regularity. The smell of mud and waterlogged vegetation pervaded the house, till the sun began drying out the paths and flower beds; then the odor became sweetish, fading to the usual heavy fragrance by midday.

For the first time Karen bathed alone that morning. Poisonous fish or anything else she might meet in the lagoon were negligible compared with
the
problem just ahead. She wished there were more than one way to handle it, but there wasn
’
t
.
No one could help, because this was final and it had to be between the two of them.

She swam till she was tired, dried out, and swam again. Deliberately, she did not return to the house till twelve
-
thirty. She showered, put on a green and white frock, took a last dispassionate look at her face after she had used a little make-up, and went to the kitchen.

Min Gan was in despair.
“
I just have the lunch ready and there is a message that the tuan will not come. Please, there is a l
et
ter for the mem on the dining table.
”

Karen found it and read it.
“
Am naturally busy clearing up several things and have ordered a sandwich here at the office. I may be a little late tonight for the same reason, but there
’
s no need to pack till tomorrow morning.
”

It was a blow to the determination she had built up, but she stood it fairly well. She ate some salad, peeled an orange but left it on her plate, and then suddenly came to a decision. She washed her hands, took another look at herself in the bedroom mirror and decided it was now or never. In fact, it had to be now.

Feeling a little cold in spite of the wet heat of the day, she backed the small car and ran out on to the road. It was one-thirty and the houses were shuttered and dead-looking. Even the various government departments were closed tight against the sun, but she knew that some of the Nemakan clerks worked behind the blinds and shutters.

She parked under a tree, walked straight up the steps of the main government building and rapped on the door. It was opened by a uniformed guard, who at once stepped back to let her enter.

“
Is Mr. Eliot in his office?
”
she asked.

“
Yes, memtuan. I will tell him you are here,
”

“
No, it
’
s all right. I
’
ll go myself. Thank you.
”

She passed him and went straight to Andrew
’
s door, paused only for a second before tapping on
the
panel. His
“
Come in
”
sounded perfunctory, but when he saw her there, slim in the crisp green and white, the honey-gold hair slightly ruffled by the breeze, her eyes large and dark and luminous with smudges beneath them, he came round the desk at once. But he didn
’
t say,
“
Good heavens, what are you doing here?
”
Perhaps he knew.

“
You shouldn
’
t come out in the midday heat,
”
he said.
“
Sit down.
”

“
I
’
d rather stand. I ... I won
’
t keep you long.
”

“
Sit down, Karen,
”
he said steadily.
“
You
’
re not confronting some brute that might tear you apart if you relax. And don
’
t, for the love of Mike, say things you may regret. It wasn
’
t very sensible of you to come here like this.
”

She did sit down because he more or less compelled it, but she felt too cold within, too wound up to be put off by his manner or by anything he might say. He was leaning back on the desk and she gazed resolutely at the wall behind him.

“
I intended speaking to you at lunch-time. You decided not to come, and I thought it hadn
’
t better be postponed. I had no intention of making a scene, but I insist that you listen, and believe.
”

“
I
’
m listening,
”
he said, but he made no promise to believe. His voice lowered.
“
You
’
re such a child, Karen. I hate your hurting yourself like this.
”

She had known it would be hard, but not this
difficult.
She drew in a dry lip and let it go again, took a breath that caught in her throat.
“
I
’
m not going with you to
Hill
Lodge. You must know that already.
”

‘
Let
’
s not be dogmatic about anything just now,
”
he said quietly.
“
The Prichards were good enough to think this out and make arrangements, and the best thing we can do is to start out and have our discussions right away from everyone else. I
’
m far more keen to get down to fundamentals than you are, and even waiting
another
day is almost unbearable.
”

“
I can
’
t go with you, Andrew!
”

Sudden heat in his eyes, he said,
“
You can hardly expect me to go off for a honeymoon on my own, and I
’
m certainly leaving tomorrow morning for Hill Lodge. The coconut radio has been busy, and over lunch the wives will hear all about it. That
’
s only one reason for leaving Government Town with a big smile.
”

“
Where you
’
re concerned it
’
s the main reason,
”
she said bitterly.
“
But this time I don
’
t even care very much about appearances. I
’
ve got beyond it. I do feel sorry that ... that the Prichards
...
”
She cut off the words, averted her head still more.
“
We have to end this farce, Andrew.
”

“
That
’
s the most rational thing you
’
ve said for a long time. We
’
ll carry on from there at about five-thirty this evening, after you
’
re rested. I
’
ll make a point of getting away on time, and come back here to finish off later in the evening. I think you
’
d better go now. You look washed out.
”

She flashed him a very green glance
“
You
’
re always in command, aren
’
t you? You pull a few strings and
impose
your will, and everyone, including the idiot you married, behaves just as you intend them to
.
You can call your guard and put me out if you like
...”

“
That
’
s enough, Karen.
”
His mouth was straight, the grey eyes ste
rn
with a dark, fed-up look in them.
“
I want you to go because you
’
re in the sort of mood that
’
s quite wrong for any talk between us. This isn
’
t the place, anyway. If you like, I
’
ll take you home now and we
’
ll talk at once. But it wouldn
’
t be very wise, the way you
’
re feeling. Here in the town we
’
re hemmed in. Let
’
s get away and sort things out. If you
’
d only let yourself see straight, you
’
d realize that a spell at Hill Lodge is a heaven-sent chance for us. I
’
m pleading with you—do you realize that?
”

“
You
...
pleading?
”
with a bitter little smile.
“
Even if it
’
s true it can
’
t make any difference. I daren
’
t think of being shut away at Hill Lodge with you.
”

“
That
’
s frank, anyway.
”
His tones had roughened.
“
We
’
re still going, though.
”

“
For once,
”
she said huskily,
“
you
’
re what you would
call
way off the beam. I
’
ve lived here in Nemaka with you for two and a half weeks and I
’
ve never been so utterly wretched in my life. I
’
ve known all along that we
’
d have to part, and the only reason I haven
’
t done anything about it is because I
’
m so trapped that I can
’
t move without everyone knowing what I
’
m up to. Till now, your reputation here and your career have tied me to doing only the conventional thing. I
’
m still willing, if you
’
ll agree, to receive an urgent telegram calling me to England, so that you can gradually write me off. But if you insist on going ahead with the arrangement for a ... a holiday at Hill Lodge, I
’
ll do something so drastic that even you will find it difficult to live it down.
”
She swallowed and lowered her head.
“
I ... I mean it, Andrew.
”

He had made no attempt to interrupt, and even now she had finished speaking he did not hasten to reply. But eventually he said heavily,
“
You
’
re more of a coward than I thought you were. I
’
ve given you ample proof that I want you to be happy and to feel normal and right with the world, but you
’
re afraid to face Hill Lodge with me. D
o
you
think
girlish threats will change my mind?
”

“
I wouldn
’
t threaten you; it would get me nowhere at all. I
’
m merely warning you what to expect,
”
she said, drawing a jerky breath.
“
I believe you actually thought I
’
d go through with this nightmare up in the mountains, alone with you—anything for the great masterful Andrew and his ambitions. After all, I might be Lady Eliot one day, and isn
’
t that worth a bit of suffering? You
...
you don
’
t know me. You know women—the sophisticated sort—but you slipped up when you married me. I
’
m not your type at all. It
’
s sad, but it
’
s true.
”

“
Be quiet. You
’
re only making matters a thousand times worse!
”

“
Does that hurt you—to know you
’
re not infallible, after all? I thought it might. You were sure you could make the wrong into a right, weren
’
t you? You
’
ve handled women like Marcia Prichard and Camilla Marchant; after them, I
’
d be easy. But I just don
’
t have their sense of values, and I
’
m not nearly as tractable as you thought
.
I
’
m not blinded by possible future glory, and I get no satisfaction whatever from our present way of living. My life was simple and happy before I knew you. It will never be that way again. You
’
ve done just that—for me.
”

“
Will you stop it!
”
he said savagely.
“
Goading yourself into hurling at me the worst things you can think of won
’
t do a scrap of good. You came here to tell me you
’
re not going to Hill Lodge tomorrow. You
’
ve done that, and now you
’
re leaving. I
’
ll take you myself.
”

“
You won
’
t!
”

His eyes blazed at her for a moment, then he turned abruptly, pressed a buzzer and spoke into a telephone:
“
Have a driver outside to take Mrs. Eliot home.
”

“
What are you afraid of—that I
’
ll drive into the sea?
”
She jumped up, furious as well as mortally hurt.
“
That
’
s one thing you could never live down, isn
’
t it? Do you ever do anything without first considering what the little world of Nemaka might think about it? I very much doubt it And you honestly believed I
’
d smile cheerfully at the crowd tomorrow morning, go coy when they threw rice and blush becomingly as we drove away! What a priceless little fool you must think I am! Perhaps I have been, but I
’
m
not any longer. I wouldn
’
t face Hill Lodge alone with you if the only alternative were a firing squad!
”

“
You
’
d better go,
”
he said tightly.
“
If you say much more I might forget to keep my distance. It
’
s happened before, you know.
”

Those horrible kisses. Karen swayed a little, shrank, white-faced,
from
the hand he put out to steady her. She turned and went from the room, down the corridor and into the white heat of outdoors. A driver opened the car door, and Andrew was there, saying in level, warning tones,
“
Take it easy now. Lie down for a couple of hours.
”

The driver gave a concerned smile.
“
The mem is unwell? It is the sun,
Tuan
—too hot for the mem at this time of day. I
must
leave the car and walk back?
”

Andrew hesitated.
“
Yes, you
’
d better.
”

Just sweet of him to trust her with it. He knew she was practically beaten. Karen closed her eyes, and did not open them again till the car stopped outside the house.

She went into her bedroom and lay down. Her eyes hurt, there was a stinging pain in her throat and her nerves stabbed like needles all over her body. She had never felt so done, so completely vanquished.

She was still feeling rocky, but had dressed and was in the living room when Mrs. Mears looked in at four. The plumpish doctor
’
s wife smiled and placed a chocolate cake on the table.

“
I
’
ve come for tea. Do you mind?
”

“
Not a bit. I
’
m very glad. I
’
ll tell Anai.
”

She came back, lifted the piece of white mosquito netting which covered the cake and complimented Mrs. Mears.

The older woman gestured that it was nothing.
“
As a matter of fact Andrew sent me a message about an hour ago. He said you were a little off-color and might like company, so I promised him I
’
d look in. He
’
d had to go to the Residency for a final session with the Governor.
”
She laughed gently.
“
We
’
ve all heard the news, of course, and none of us can claim that we guessed it in the first place! You and Andrew had us all fooled.
”

“
It was his idea.
”

“
It would be. Still, you
’
re going to get your honeymoon; we
’
re all happy about that.
”
Molly used a grass fan she had brought with her.
“
It
’
s always grillingly hot on a feast-day. All the servants will be off this evening, I suppose. If you feel as pale as you look, you won
’
t want to prepare
a
nything. Would you like to come to dinner with us?
”

“
Thank you, but it won
’
t be necessary, Molly. Min Gan has prepared something; we can eat cold, and Andrew is bound to be very late, anyway.
”

“
And you
’
ll be packing, of course. It must be like getting married all over again.
”
Mrs. Mears looked at her, more keenly.
“
You poor dear; the heat has really got you, hasn
’
t it? If I were you I
’
d stay away from the crowd that
’
s going down to see the dancing tonight. You
’
ll have other opportunities of joining in the revels, and they do become a little monotonous. I
’
ll get Jake to send you over a sedative, so that you
’
ll feel wonderful when you set off tomorrow. Let me pour the tea, will you?
”

Karen was glad to do so. She sat back and sipped and for the sake o
f
politeness forced herself to swallow a finger of the chocolate cake. She heard insects droning in the bougainvillea outside, Molly
’
s voice, light and pleasant and undemanding. No one else would turn up now, thank heaven; although they were curious they probably hadn
’
t quite the courage to wade into Andrew
’
s house and put inquisitive queries to his wife.

The light began to fail and Anai came in for the tray. He wanted to know whether he and Min Gan had permission to leave the house as soon as the kitchen was clear. Karen said yes, and wished them an enjoyable evening.

Mrs. Mears stood up.
“
My boys will be itching to get away, too,
”
she said.
“
If Andrew is later than seven, do slip over for a bite with us.
”

Karen repeated her thanks, and as soon as the doctor
’
s wife had gone she put a match to a couple of the lamps; the light from them was softer than electricity. For a long time she stood near the window, staring at the merging of day with darkness. A jacaranda-blue sky darkening to the purple of pansies, then a soft indigo with a star here and there. A hot, velvety sky, peculiar to the tropics.

She looked at her watch. Six-thirty. She ought to get some idea of the dinner Min Gan had
prepared,
but the very thought of looking at food made her feel sick. She could set the table, though, set it for one and pretend she
’
d already
eaten.
Pretend
...
But there comes a time when you can
’
t pretend any longer, and Karen knew that for her that time was very near.

She found mats and some cutlery, paused suddenly as she heard running feet on the path, and
gazed
at Clive Vaughan as if he had burst through the wall instead or the doorway. His eyes stared, his hair had flopped forward in a lump over one eye and he breathed as fast and jerkily as if he had run the length of the island.

“
Karen,
”
he managed.
“
She
’
s not here, is she? Has
she been here? Rita?
”

“
No. No, she hasn
’
t. I haven
’
t seen her today at al
l.
He turned instantly, apparently to run off somewhere else, and
something
clicked in her mind.
“
Clive! Where are
you going?”

“I
don
’
t know.
”
He slumped against the doorway.
“
I don
’
t know where to go. Rita
’
s missing. I
’
ve been to the Coppards and I called in at the McLennans on
the
way here. No one has seen her at all. Rita and I had lunch
together
...
I went back
...”

He tailed off, and she asked quickly,
“
No note anywhere? No message of any kind? What about your servants?
”

“
They
’
ve gone off, but I caught the houseboy next door. He saw Rita at about three; she was smoking
on the
veranda.
”
Wearily he shoved the hair back from his forehead.
“
Where can I look for her? She
’
s never out as late as this, even with other women, and I
’
m sure she
’
s not interested in the fishing festival. I keep thinking she must have taken a walk and had an accident—maybe her ankle.
”