The Price of Freedom (21 page)

"I would prefer to sleep in one of the other rooms tonight," she said. "I've been feeling sick, and I think we'd both be more comfortable that way."

She was lying; she just wanted to get away from him. He opened his mouth to disagree with her, then closed it slowly. She was right. It was better to take a little time and let their emotions cool off. They could discuss things again in the morning. He had too much to think about right now, and the last thing he wanted to do was say something he'd regret.

Nodding abruptly, he turned away from her. She disappeared into one of the rooms, and he wandered over to the kitchen to grab some food. His thoughts moved at a thousand miles per second.

There was a baby growing in her belly, his baby. They were going to be a family.

His frustration fled before the thought, and a silly grin came across his face. Grabbing a meat roll, he wandered into his room and flopped down on the bed.

He was going to be a daddy. Life was good.

* * * * *

Bethany sat and brushed her hair. Again and again she pulled the brush through the brown locks, the childhood ritual comforting in its familiarity. It was much shorter now, a remnant of what she'd once had.

She smiled wryly, remembering how afraid she'd been when Jess had whipped out that enormous knife and cut her free with it. She knew now he would never deliberately hurt her, at least not physically. She'd thought he was going to kill her back then, but what he'd done instead was far more devious. He'd made her fall in love with him and now he was ripping her heart out.

She had been patient with his quest. She didn't like chasing Jenner, but she liked being with Jess.

She understood he had his demons to lay to rest. But it wasn't just about her anymore—it was about their baby. After the first euphoria of discovery had worn off earlier that afternoon, she'd given her situation a lot of thought. She knew how determined Jess was to find and kill Jenner. She also knew that she and her child wouldn't be safe on such a quest, especially if that quest led them to Karos. She'd given him his chance to accept the baby and give up his hatred, but he had thrown in back in her face.

She was going to have to leave him.

A traitorous part of her mind whispered at her to stay, to give him another chance. After all, he might be right. Jenner might be at the next port they visited. Or she might not be there. Then what? They would go on to Karos, the root of all Pilgrim activity. Just the thought of it made her shiver in horror. He was almost sure to be captured there, and if he were captured, she would be, too. She would probably live; they would see value in a pregnant woman. But there was no way she'd risk such a life for her child, not after she'd seen what the other options were. She was going to have her baby in freedom. Her baby wouldn't grow up to be a Pilgrim no matter what she had to do, no matter how painful it would be.

Standing, she pulled her hair back out of the way and fastened it carefully. She stood, stretched, and took a minute to breath deeply, calming herself for the task ahead. She already had what she needed hidden in one of the drawers. It only took a second to get it out and slide it into her pocket.

She opened the door and stepped into the main room. As she suspected, he had already gone to bed. He had to be tired after his hunt; he always was. That, combined with the sedative she'd dribbled over his meat
rool
, would be enough to weaken him. She took another deep breath and forced a calm smile on to her face. Time to face him.

She opened the door to the suite they usually shared. A small, dim light glowed against one of the walls. He had fixed it there for her, she remembered painfully. One night she'd tried to go to the fresher and tripped. He hadn't mentioned it beyond checking to see if she was all right, but the next night the little light had been glowing. He was so thoughtful of her needs. How was it that he could be oblivious to the fact that his woman and child needed him now?

She shook her head, pushing the thoughts away. Time to focus on her task.

He was lying in bed, apparently asleep, but as she approached his eyes cracked open.

"Bethany?" he asked. He reached out one arm for her, struggling to sit up. Her heart clenched again.

"Yes, it's me," she said softly, coming to sit next to him. He tried to sit up again but couldn't.

"Sorry, I'm just so tired," he whispered, voice trailing off. "I don't know why I feel this way."

"Don't worry," she said. "It's all going to be fine." she leaned over and kissed him on the lips. Then, before she could change her mind, she slipped the air-syringe the auto-doc had prepared to her specifications earlier and pressed it against his upper arm. Confusion registered in his eyes as it pierced his skin, but the sedative was fast acting. Within seconds he was completely out.

To her disgust, she could feel tears welling up in her traitorous eyes. She didn't want to leave him like this. She didn't want to leave him at all. You don't have a choice, she reminded herself. It's not about you any more; it's about the baby.

Quickly, she left the room and retrieved the small bag she'd packed earlier. She'd put her time at the data terminal to good use. She already knew the time and place of departure for the Grandal, a freighter bound deep into Saurellian territory. It would be slow but safe. Jess had never bothered hiding his stash of credit vouchers from her, so money was no issue. She pawed through the pile of vouchers, trying to decide how much she should take. She wanted to leave him plenty to continue his quest, but at the same time she had to be sure there was enough money for her and the baby. Finally she simply scooped half into her bag, hoping it would be enough. She didn't really know how much things cost anyway, she realized. She had so much to learn it was frightening at times.

Stepping through the door of the living area into the main corridor, she made her way quickly to the cockpit. This was the hard part—she'd seen him call out on the radio several times, but she wasn't even quite sure how to turn the thing on. She fiddled with several dials and knobs before a soft voice spoke.

"This is the ship's computer. May I be of assistance?"

She jumped, then laughed nervously. How silly she was. The computer would call a transport for her.

"I need a transport to the Grandal," she said. "Can you arrange that?"

"Certainly," the computer said. It fell silent, although several lights on the flickering display flashed.

"Transportation has been arranged. Please go to the airlock and I will inform you when transportation arrives."

"Thank you," she said, running one hand over her hair nervously. It was so strange to be leaving the ship without Jess. She just hoped she was able to take care of herself.

Don't be a ninny,
she thought firmly. Of course she would be able to take care of herself. She didn't have a choice; the baby needed her.

She left the cockpit and walked down to the airlock. The wait seemed to last forever. Was something wrong? She kept looking nervously toward the door to the living quarters, a part of her expecting Jess to burst out any minute. That was ridiculous, of course. He would be asleep for at least twenty-four hours. The auto-doc had assured her of it.

A green light lit up over the hatch, and the computer spoke to her again.

"Ground transportation has arrived," it said. "Please proceed into the airlock."

The door slid open. Taking a deep breath, she stepped through it.

Chapter Fifteen

Two Months Later

Bethany stretched wearily, and pulled the last of her possessions out of the small storage locker she'd been assigned after booking passage on the Grandal. It was a good thing she hadn't brought much with her, she thought wryly. She looked at her bunk, one of twenty in the cramped room, and sighed in relief. After two months of travel she was finally going to be getting off the decrepit old freighter that had taken her away from Jess. She'd had no idea space travel could be that slow and uncomfortable.

Just thinking of his name was enough to make tears well up in her eyes. It disgusted her, this emotional weakness that seemed to come with pregnancy. Not only was she desperately lonely for Jess, she was an emotional wreck. According to what she'd read, such emotional upheaval was normal during pregnancy, but that didn't make it any easier. Not by a long shot.

She went down to the holding area, mingling with a mixed group of fellow passengers and ship's crew. None of them spoke with each other. The crew kept to themselves, and the passengers were all there for the same reason. They'd been desperate to get away from Barengaria and didn't have enough money to travel like civilized beings. She suspected that more than a few of them might even be on the run. It wasn't a situation that led naturally to comradely feelings.

They stood silently, waiting for the next shuttle to the surface of Vlaxon, a small, agricultural planet that was next on the Grandal's slow run of borderline worlds. The population wasn't huge, but she hoped it was large enough for a woman to lose herself in. According to one of her fellow passengers, there was often seasonal work available in the fields. Having never been out in the open on a planet before, she wasn't sure how she felt about that. Would the sky be frightening to her? Or would it be exciting, a time of new discovery? Either way, she had to have a job, had to find a way to feed her child. If she had fears, she'd get over them, she thought grimly.

The light over the airlock turned green, and the doors leading into the shuttle opened. They all stood back as a group of planetary officials came out. One of them, a tall woman with bright red hair in a gray uniform, spoke.

"May I have your attention," she called out. "Before we allow you to enter the shuttle and descend to the surface, we will need to see your paperwork. There will be a more extensive interview down below before you can leave the area of the spaceport. Please form a single line starting here."

She drew a line on the floor with her shoe, and they obediently lined up.

Bethany shuffled into place with the rest of them, suddenly anxious that her new identity wouldn't hold up. The woman hardly bothered to glance at it when her turn came, waving her through quickly enough. Bethany entered the shuttle and found a seat. It was good to be leaving the freighter, she reminded herself. Deep down inside, she was terrified.

When the shuttle was full, the doors closed and they pulled away from the ship. There were no windows, but the pull of gravity as they came into the atmosphere told its own story. The shuttle was moving very quickly, indeed.

Ten minutes later they were on the ground, and she stood. Time to see her new home.

Disappointingly enough, she didn't walk out of the shuttle into a wide, open vista of sky. Instead she found herself in a corridor, constructed of the same metal that could be found in a thousand ships.

Everything looked the same as it did on the space station.

She followed the crowd of people down the hallway. The closer they got to the end, the louder the noise grew. The sounds of the port were starting to envelop them. A hundred merchants all vied for attention at the same time. Advertisements, holographic and flat screen, flashed out at her from the walls and ceilings. She could feel a headache growing behind her eyes—it was all too much. Agricultural planet or not, this space port was just as noisy as the one on Discovery Station.

The end of the corridor was upon her. Her companions of the last two weeks moved quickly, dispersing in different directions, never to be seen again. Everything seemed a bit unreal. She stood, trying to decide which direction to go, when someone grabbed her arm.

"Hello Bethany," Jess said quietly. She stiffened, turning to look at him. What was he doing here?

How had he found her?

"I'm glad I caught up to you," he said, his voice a menacing whisper. She looked into his beloved face and her heart froze. He was angry, terribly angry. Far angrier than she' ever seen before, which was saying a lot.

"Jess, what you are doing here?" she whispered, swaying with shock. He smiled at her, baring his teeth like some kind of feral animal.

"I'm here to pick up something that belongs to me," he said. "Something that was misplaced."

She shivered and he laughed. The noise had nothing to do with amusement.

"Don't look so afraid," he said. "I'm not going to hurt you. I was a fool to trust you before; I won't make that mistake again. Come with me."

He turned, pulling her along behind him as if she weighed nothing. She tried to pull back and he stopped abruptly, dragging her close to his body.

"You will follow me and you will keep quiet," he said with cold menace. "If you do anything to draw attention to us, I swear to you you'll regret it. Do I make myself clear?" she nodded, eyes wide. He had made himself very clear.

They moved through the concourse, surrounded by the sights and smells of a thousand worlds. She didn't bother to look around. It was all too confusing and frightening. Just imagining how and why Jess was here made her head hurt. He turned down another corridor, similar to the one she'd arrived on but much smaller. They reached the end and joined a short line of people. Jess pulled her close to his body, wrapping one arm tightly around her waist. His face leaned in to her ear and he whispered," Behave."

She nodded, but he didn't reply. Instead he kept his head lowered to hers, inhaling deeply as if drinking in her scent. She could feel his warmth around her, feel the strength of his arms flexing through his shirt. Desire for him flickered to life, dancing along her nerves, and she gritted her teeth.

It wasn't enough that he caught her, she thought in disgust. Her traitorous body had to want him, too.

It wasn't fair.

They entered the shuttle and took a place toward the back. A small console on the back of the seat before them lit up, and Jess leaned over, punching information into it.

"This will take us back to our ship," he said. "The trip will take a while because they'll be going to several other ships first. I don't want to hear a word out of you while we're here."

She nodded, sitting back in the seat and waiting. A tone buzzed; it was time for launch. She braced herself as the gravity pressed her back in her seat, swallowing nervously. It hadn't taken her long to decide that she didn't like this particular part of traveling.

The trip was slow and grueling. Tension grew between them with every stop. By the time they reached the ship, she as almost grateful for an excuse to move; anything was better than sitting with him in this horrible silence.

The people around them seemed oblivious to their private battle. What would happen if she called out to them for help, she wondered? Would they care? What would she say?

If she told the truth, Jess might be charged with kidnapping, assuming that was a crime here. She couldn't allow that to happen, she thought quickly. She wanted to protect him.

"We're the next stop," he said finally. A few minutes later the transport gave a small shudder, and they locked on to a dock. Jess stood, waiting for her to go ahead of him. She did so, keeping her eyes down. She didn't want to look around, didn't want to watch the people around her as she blushed in humiliation.

They walked out into a small docking station. It was little more than a waiting area, with several long corridors leading off in every direction.

"The ship is out at the end of concourse seven," Jess said, taking her arm. His grip was firm, as if he expected her to run. Not likely, she thought. There was nothing here, nowhere to go. They walked quickly down the corridor, passing several airlocks. Finally he stopped in front of one, inserting a small card into the command box. Seconds later the door whisked open. He pulled her in after him, and then they entered the ship.

"Living quarters," he grated out, nodding his head abruptly to indicate where he wanted her to go.

She ducked her head and did as he said. He had changed things, she realized as soon as she stepped inside. The furniture had been moved to accommodate something new, an enclosure made out of translucent bars running from floor to ceiling.

A cage. Right in the main room.

"Where did that come from?" she asked, shocked into stopping, He pushed her forward, one hand against her back.

"You aren't seriously expecting me to go in there," she asked. "You can't!"

"Only when I can't be here to watch you," he said, his voice completely void of emotion.

"That's horrible," she said, feeling suddenly panicky. "You can't expect me to do that. I won't."

"You don't have a choice," he said. "Sit down." He gestured to the couch. She turned on him, and for a moment she considered attacking him, biting him, anything to get away. His gaze was cold and steady, his muscular arms flexed. He seemed to read her mind.

"Don't try it," he said. "You'll regret it."

She turned and walked over to the couch, trying to compose herself. She wasn't going to get out of this one. Her luck was finally up, she realized. Whatever softness she had seen in Jess before appeared to be gone.

"How did you find me?"

"Well, you left several clues," he said in a sarcastic tone. "Among other things, you used the ship's computer to call for transport, and asked it to take you to the Grandal. That was my first clue. That, and it was the only ship leaving the planet at that time."

"And your ship was faster," she said, filled with understanding. How could she have been so stupid?

Catching her had been child's play for him, she thought in disgust. "Why did you come after me, Jess?"

For the first time, some of that cold anger left his face. He looked a little surprised.

"What did you think I would do?" he asked.

"I thought you would go after Jenner. By chasing me here you may have lost track of her."

"I'll find her eventually," he replied coldly. "But I couldn't just let you go traipsing off. You have no survival skills. You'd end up dead or enslaved at this rate."

She lifted her chin defiantly.

"I don't think you're giving me enough credit,' she said. "I didn't just take off without a plan, you know. I did my research. I certainly had enough time trapped alone on the ship to do it," she added bitterly.

"And just what was this brilliant plan?" he asked, sneering. "And what about my child? How did
he
factor into your thinking? Or were you going to get rid of him?"

"I would never do that!" she gasped, one hand rising to cover her stomach protectively. "What kind of monster do you think I am?"

"The kind who would stab a man with a hypodermic while he's sleeping," he said.

"I did what I had to do to escape," she countered. "You of all people should understand that.

You've had a bit of experience doing it yourself."

He didn't reply, instead pinning her with a dark, steady look that made her want to drop her eyes.

She forced herself to meet his gaze. She wasn't ashamed of what she'd done.

"Why did you do it?" he asked finally. "I thought you were happy with me. You told me you loved me. Was all that a lie to get me to let down my guard?"

She stood and paced across then room, filled with sudden anger. She forced herself to take several deep breaths, trying to regain her calm before replying to him.

"You are such an ass," she finally said, her voice controlled and tight with suppressed emotion. "I am pregnant. We are going to have a child. Do you understand what that means?"

"It means we're going to have a child," he said, voice smooth. "I thought you were happy about that.

You certainly
seemed
happy enough when you first told me about it."

"I am happy about it," she said, shaking her head in disgust. "As far as I'm concerned it's a miracle. I never thought I would be lucky enough to have a child. But you don't seen to be prepared to give us a fresh start. I don't want to go through this pregnancy as your prisoner. I don't want to go through this traipsing around looking for some old Pilgrim woman who hurt you and your sister. You have to let this go; we have a life to build together. It isn't just about us any more. It's about the baby. He or she deserves more than this! Can't you understand that?"

He stayed quiet for a moment, then spoke.

"Jenner would be dead by now if you hadn't run away," he said. "This would all be a moot point."

"Jenner is not the problem," she said coldly, infusing every bit of the anger and hurt she'd felt into her voice. "You are. You won't let me off the ship. You don't even tell me what world we're on half the time.

You have this quest that obsesses you, and it takes up all your time and energy.
That
is my problem. I don't care about Jenner. Don't you realize that even if you do kill her, Calla will still be dead?"

He stood, arms folded in front of him. She let her eyes feast on his beloved form, pleading with him silently to understand, to take her into his arms and tell her that he was ready to move on with his life.

That they could be a family.

Instead, he turned away and strode out the door. As he left, he spoke.

"Get yourself strapped in," he said. "We're leaving."

"Where are we going?" she asked, terrified of the answer.

"To Karos."

She shuddered and collapsed into a chair. They'd come so far, and now they were heading right back into a nest of Pilgrims.
The
nest of Pilgrims.

Jess was going to get all of them killed before he was finished