The Price of Freedom (23 page)

“I would like to treat her even
better but the doctor has convinced her that I’m to keep quiet.”

Deborah
blushed,
suddenly shy in front of her former master.

“And well you should.  You’ve
been kicked in the head by a horse, boy.  If that didn’t shake you up, I
don’t know what will. But you didn’t let Deborah answer my question.” Both of
them looked expectantly at her.

“He’s been very good to me,”
Deborah admitted, looking at Richard with an uncharacteristically shy smile.
Richard smiled back at her and held out a hand to her.  Deborah could not
ignore the gesture and came closer to give him her hand.  Richard kissed
the palm, tickling it with the tip of his tongue which made her tingle and look
quickly at Master Thomas to see if he had noticed.  He was smiling at them
with a look of approval on his face.

“I will leave you two now.  I
don’t think I’m needed here.”

Deborah made a half-hearted
protest but Richard said quickly, “Thanks for the visit.”

As the door closed behind his
uncle he pulled Deborah closer until she was sitting next to him on the
bed.  Taking the handkerchief from her head, he unraveled her hair and
buried his fingers in the thick locks all the while holding her eyes captive
with his.

He was pleased to see her eyes
darken with desire but she was still protesting half-heartedly about the
doctor’s orders even as his lips closed over hers.  After two days of not
touching her, he felt a surge of desire and his kiss quickly became
demanding.  Deborah kissed him back as if she too had been starving for
the taste and feel of his mouth on hers.

As he began to unbutton her blouse
she stilled his hands and said with great reluctance, “I don’t want to do
anything to hinder your recovery. I’m serious Richard; the doctor was adamant
that you should not move around much for a few days.”

“OK.  I’ll show you what to
do so that we keep the doctor happy,” he said resuming what he had
started. 

In less time than seemed decent
Deborah collapsed against his heaving chest, satisfied that the doctor’s orders
had not been violated too badly.

Richard held her in his arms and
said breathlessly, “Don’t you know that you’re the best medicine for me?”

Yes, but not for much longer.
Deborah thought silently.

A month later

Richard looked out over the
plantation and was able to see new vistas from his vantage point as many of the
fields were now bare of the tall sugar cane.  There was just over a month
remaining of the harvest and everyone was looking forward to the end of the
crop.  He realized that by the time the crop was officially over he would
be on a boat back to Carolina.

He hoped that his aunt had
forgotten about her plans to have another party to celebrate the end of harvest
because he knew that he wouldn’t feel like celebrating. In fact as the end of
June drew closer he began to be filled with restlessness and he didn’t need to
examine its source that closely to recognize that he was being torn between
Barbados and Carolina. He had come to love Barbados and life on the plantation,
but the opportunity to run the Carlisle’s plantation and make his own way was
still very strong.

His thoughts turned to Deborah as
they did so many times during the day.  His uncle had been right; she was
no closer to being out of his system. He realized that it wasn’t even just
physical desire that he had for her because many nights he was too exhausted to
even lift his hand but he still called for Deborah just so that he could sleep
with her in his arms.

Eventually he ordered her to move
into his room rather than returning to hers each night.  He knew that his
aunt disapproved but his uncle had given his permission. Besides it would only
be for five more weeks. 
Five weeks, or thirty-seven
days to be exact.
He had already arranged with
Bostick
to leave with the boat on June 30.

His uncle had told him only today
that Deborah’s birthday was tomorrow.  He wanted to give her something
special; something that she would have to remember him by when he left. 
He didn’t have time to go into Town to buy anything. What could he give her?

Her freedom
.
 
The thought floated to him on the breeze. 
Her freedom?
Before he left? Then she would have no reason to stay with him.  Would she
be willing to stay if she had her freedom?  He didn’t want to lose her
yet. He felt good when she was around.  She made him laugh and challenged
him at every turn and she made him feel powerful when she was shuddering in his
arms. He had been right when he told her that he couldn’t imagine getting tired
of her.

Could he risk
losing all that by giving her the freedom she longed for now?
  The
document had been prepared over a month ago; all he had to do was
write
in the date and sign it.  He felt that she had
feelings for him, but were they strong enough to keep her with him if he freed
her now?

May 25, 1696

The beautiful day mocked Deborah’s
heavy mood.  Two years after her fateful sixteenth birthday when she had
rued
the fact that she was a slave, nothing had
changed.  Granted she would have her freedom when Richard left at the end
of next month and the anticipation she felt could not be explained to someone
who was free, but now she found that it was somewhat diminished by the thought
of him leaving.  How had her emotions become so involved?  She had
planned to treat this as a business arrangement and she remembered swearing to
him that she would never want him.  What a joke!  He now owned her,
body and soul. When did she begin to love him? And how she would recover when
he went back to Carolina?

“Why so glum?” Richard asked
coming to hug her from behind while she plaited her hair.

“I’ve been a slave for eighteen
years.  That’s enough reason, isn’t it?” she muttered.

“Maybe this will cheer you
up.  Happy birthday,” he said handing her a folded document.

Master Thomas must have told
him.  “What’s this?” She opened the document and started to read. 

The Acreage, St. James

Barbados

It is hereby made known that on
the twenty fifth day of May in the year of our Lord sixteen hundred and ninety
six, I Richard Fairfax of Charles Town, Carolina, currently residing in
Barbados, have liberated, manumitted and set free my slave Deborah Edwards of
the age of eighteen years old and I hereby liberate, manumit and set free the
said slave and discharge her from all service or demand of service to be
hereafter made by me or by persons claiming by, from or under me.

In testimony
whereof I have hereunto set my hands and seal the year and date aforesaid.

Signed: Richard Fairfax

Sealed and delivered in the presence of: Thomas Edwards
and Peter Hall

Deborah looked in disbelief at the
document.  She literally held her freedom in her hands.  After all of
these years, after the tears she had cried, after crying out to God, she was
free.  Tears sprang from her eyes and poured down her face as she stood
before Richard, clutching the paper to her breast.

“I am free?” she whispered in
disbelief through her tears.  He nodded feeling something expand in his
chest which made it hard to breathe or to speak.

She sank to her knees at his feet
and bent her head saying, “Thank you, thank you, thank you.”

Richard dropped to his knees before
her, lifted up her chin and wiped away her tears with his handkerchief.

“You are free to go but I would
like you to stay until I leave. Will you stay, Deborah?”

Richard knew that his request was
not fair, after all Deborah had waited her whole life for this moment.  He
had given up the incentive to keep her here. Would she stay with him of her own
free will?

Deborah could not fully grasp the
fact that she was free.  No-one could tell her what to do or where to
go?  No-one could demand her body?  She could make her own
decisions?  She could tell Richard that she was leaving and he could not
stop her. For the first time in her life she was free to do what she wanted.
 As she looked into his eyes and saw the vulnerability in them and the need
for her that matched her need for him, she knew she would stay with him while
he was in Barbados.  She nodded.

“Yes, I’ll stay.”

Richard closed his eyes in relief
and released a breath he did not even realize he had been holding.  He
hadn’t known until then just how important her answer was to him.

Tonight was different.  Tonight
was the first time that she would be with Richard as a free woman, not because
he held the promise of freedom to persuade her, but because she chose to be
with him. It was a powerful and exciting feeling.  She took a leisurely
bath, dressed with particular care and then sent a note to the dinner table by
Cassie.  She smiled as she recalled what she had written. 

Miss Deborah Edwards requests
the pleasure of your company in your room after dinner.  Don’t have
dessert.  Dessert awaits you.

She couldn’t believe that she
could make a joke about being dessert after William had referred to her that
way two years ago.  Richard had healed her with his love and
gentleness. 
Love?
  Was it love he felt for
her or simply desire?  After all, he had never said the words.

Richard took the note that Cassie
had surreptitiously handed to him and opened it beneath the table.  He
couldn’t contain the laugh that escaped his lips or the anticipation that
surged through him at Deborah’s boldness and the thought of her waiting for him
upstairs.

His aunt glanced at him
questioningly but he smiled and said, “Private joke. Sorry.”

He passed the note to Thomas
discreetly. He had told him earlier of his decision to free Deborah today and
that she had decided to stay until he left. 

He practically devoured his food,
not even caring what he ate, wanting to get to the end of the main course as
quickly as he could.  Why did this woman excite him so much?  All he
could think about was her note and imagine her waiting in his room.

As soon as Cassie removed his
plate, he pushed back his chair.  His aunt looked up in surprise as he
made his excuses.

“I’m afraid I’m much too full for
dessert right now,” he apologized.  “I may just have something in my room
later if I feel
peckish
.”  His uncle smothered a
laugh.

“That’s quite all right, my
boy.  Don’t let us detain you.  I’m sure you’re anxious for your bed
tonight.  Don’t bother to come out tomorrow. Make sure you get a good
rest.”

“Thank you, uncle.  That’s
very generous of you.”  With that he put down his napkin and eagerly
headed for his room.

Deborah stood as Richard burst
into the room.  His breath caught at the picture of her in one of the new
dresses he had bought in town and her hair loose over her shoulders and down
her back.

“Dinner finished already?” she
asked teasingly, as if she knew that he had wolfed it down without noticing
what he had eaten.

“You knew very well I would have
no idea what I ate after I read your note. You wanton woman,” he accused. She
laughed delightedly, her spirit free.

“It is my birthday!  It is as
if I was born for the first time today and I was born free,” she said with
joy.  Richard was pleased that he had given her that joy.

“I know that you could have waited
until you were leaving to give me my freedom but you gave it to me today as a
gift.  You do not know how much that means to me.  Thank you,” she
finished humbly.

“Now although it’s my birthday, I
want to give you a gift,” she said talking off his jacket and dropping it over
a chair. “Tonight I give you the gift of myself; not because I want my freedom
or because you own me, but because I choose to.”