The Price of Deception (20 page)

“Years ago, I would have gladly married you Robert
Holland,” she whispered. “You were the love of my life, but you
chose another. Now, you wish to bring me back into your life when I
belong to another? You torment me,” she cried. Suzette turned her
face away, so her son would not see her tears.

“I’m afraid to believe, Robert. I cannot bear the
disappointment of losing you once again to circumstances I have no
control over. Please understand,” she pleaded.

“Mommy, can we go now?” Little Robert tugged on her
sleeve, and Suzette sniffed a few times. She pulled out her hankie
and quickly wiped her nose.

“Are you tired, sweetie?”

“All the bread is gone,” he pouted.

“Okay, then in a minute. Mommy needs to say goodbye
to Monsieur Holland. Do you wish to say goodbye?”

“Goodbye,” he quickly responded, with little interest
in any further interaction. He tugged on his mother’s sleeve
again.

“It seems I have a little boy who wishes to go
now.”

Robert knelt down in front of his son on one knee and
looked him straight in the eye. “It was nice to see you again, and
you remember if you ever come visit me, there’s a little pony
waiting just for you.” He stood up and looked at Suzette who gave
him another disapproving glare.

“Will you return to England now?” she quickly
queried.

Robert peered soulfully into her eyes. “Not yet. I am
not ready to leave my family.”

He tipped his hat. “It was nice seeing you again,
Mademoiselle. Perhaps another time we shall see each other again.
Good day.”

Robert turned away and strode toward the exit of the
gardens. His heart lay within his chest like a heavy stone. It felt
dreadful to leave behind all he loved. He had searched for truth
and had finally found it. If he could just seal it with Suzette and
his son, he’d be satisfied. Whatever the cost to fulfill his
dreams, he would gladly pay.

Chapter Sixteen

Suzette left the park with little Robert and hired a
cab to return them to her residence. His little face appeared
somber, and Suzette found it troublesome.

“Did you have fun?” She reached over and patted his
knee.

“Yes, but next time we need to bring more bread.
Daddy brings a lot more than you did,” he retorted, with a
scowl.

“Well, I’m sorry. I didn’t know, since it’s always
you and your father . . .” Suzette stopped mid-sentence and gasped.
The remainder of her words wouldn’t come out of her mouth. The
declaration of
father
resonated so powerfully, that
immediately she saw Robert’s face and not Philippe’s. “Oh, dear,”
she mumbled, as she looked at her son.

“It was nice to bump into Monsieur Holland, don’t you
think?” Suzette felt the urge to pry into Robert’s thoughts about
their meeting.

“I suppose so.” A gigantic smile spread across his
face. “I like that he has a pony. Do you think we could visit him
some day so I can ride the pony, Mommy?”

“I don’t know, Robert. He lives very far away in
England and only occasionally visits Paris.”

“Oh,” he replied, sadly. His smile faded. Robert
turned his interest to the passing scenery. Suzette heaved a sigh,
thankful he asked no more. She had no idea why Robert had seen fit
to bring up the subject of a pony to tease a little boy’s fancy.
He probably just wanted to impress him
, she thought to
herself, while she mindlessly straightened her skirt.

“He has blond hair and blue eyes like me,” Robert
suddenly announced.

His comment astounded Suzette. How could a little boy
his age make such an association? She hesitated to respond over his
observation, but then made little of it. “Many people have blond
hair and blue eyes, Robert.”

Suzette sat back against her seat and closed her
eyes. Her hands twisted her gloves in worry over what little
thoughts twirled inside the brain of a five-year-old child. Surely,
the boy had to be too young to put two and two together.

She felt the cab slow and opened her eyelids. The
horse halted, and the driver jumped down and opened the door.
Suzette and Robert climbed from the cab, and she paid the fare.
After they entered the foyer, Robert immediately ran upstairs to
his room.

“Madame, I trust you had a pleasant stroll in the
gardens,” inquired Monsieur Leroy.

“Yes, quite pleasant, thank you.” Suzette unpinned
her hat and gave it to the maid, along with her gloves.

“A post arrived for you while you were gone, Madame,”
he informed Suzette, holding out a sealed envelope for her
taking.

Suzette immediately grasped it and noted that it had
been posted from the West Indies. “My goodness, it’s from
Philippe!” She took the envelope and walked into the parlor, sat
down, and ripped it open to read the letter.

My Dearest Suzette,

I have just this day set foot on the isle of Antigua
and make haste to write you this letter to let you know that I have
safely arrived. It is my intention to post this directly, so that
it might reach Paris within the next few weeks.

Please rest assured that I am fine. My meetings at
the sugarcane plantation will begin soon. Hopefully, I will be able
to procure the deal quickly and return home within a month.

It is quite beautiful here, Suzette. Warm and humid,
and the palm trees are indeed quite out of the ordinary to behold.
I wish you could see the beauty of the isle.

All my love,

Philippe

Suzette heaved a sigh of relief and folded the letter
carefully, inserting it back into the envelope. Palm trees—how odd
to think of such exotic plants. She smiled and held the letter in
her hand thinking of her husband and their life together.

As her mind wandered through the years they had spent
together as husband and wife, she heard a loud thump from upstairs.
Instantly, a baby’s piercing cry echoed throughout the entire
house. Suzette jumped to her feet. The letter dropped on the floor.
She stepped upon it when she exited the room and flew up the
staircase to the nursery. Abruptly, she halted in the doorway and
observed in horror the bassinet laying on its side. Angelique
wailed in the arms of her governess.

“What happened here?” she challenged Madame Dubois.
Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Robert laughing out loud.

“Your son pushed over the bassinet, Madame. Angelique
was taking a nap. I left the room just for a moment, returned, and
saw him push it over. Unfortunately, I was too far away to catch
the poor babe before she tumbled to the floor.”

“My God!” Suzette exclaimed in shock. She ran to her
daughter and snatched the screaming baby into her arms. Suzette
kissed her cheek. “Now, now, sweetheart. It’s all right. Mommy is
here.”

She looked at Robert and glared at him in anger. “Is
this true? Did you push the bassinet over?”

To her chagrin, Robert laughed but said nothing.
Abruptly, he turned around, ran out the door, and down the hallway.
Suzette, shocked over his actions, looked at Angelique. She
smoothed her hand over the baby’s head and face, but saw no
bruising or bumps. Thankfully, the bassinet tumbled upon a thick
rug.

“Thank God, she appears to be all right.” She hugged
her tight and rocked her in her arms. “Shush, little one.” After
the wailing subsided, Suzette handed her daughter back to Madame
Dubois.

“Please, take her, while I take care of
something.”

Suzette quickly made her way down the hallway to
Robert’s room. He sat hunched over in the middle of the floor
surrounded by his blocks.

“Robert, come here.”

He ignored her.

“I said come to me, little man. We need to talk.”

Robert, unresponsive to her demands, continued to
play, wearing a smirk across his face. Suzette walked over to him
and jerked him to his feet. She led him toward his bed, while he
resisted and struggled to get away.

Exasperated over his antics, she bent over, picked
him up in her arms, and sat him down on the bed. She tried to peer
into his blue eyes, but he refused to look at her in the face. His
actions pushed her to the end of her patience. Suzette grasped his
chin with the palm of her hand and forcibly pulled it upward until
they were eye to eye.

“Whatever possessed you to push over that bassinet? I
want to know, and I want an answer now!”

Robert narrowed his eyes at her in defiance. He
flaunted a smug, rebellious look upon his face. “Because I hate
her!”

Surprised over his declaration, Suzette released his
chin from her hand. She knew sibling rivalry could pose problems,
but she had no idea that it would raise its ugly head this
early.

“Well, you have no reason to hate her. She’s your
sister, Robert, and you need to treat her with love.”

“I do not!” he bellowed, as he crossed his arms in
front of him. “Daddy likes her more than me, and I hate her!”

“Daddy does no such thing,” she insisted, appalled
over his statement. “Your father loves you very deeply.”

A defiant “
humph
” left his lips. Suzette made
her demands.

“I expect you to walk down to your sister’s room and
apologize immediately to Madame Dubois and to your sister for what
you did.”

“No!” He jumped to his feet and ran out of his
room.

“Robert, come back here this instant!” Suzette took
off after him, but his young legs had already taken him down the
staircase. She watched him fly off toward the rear of the residence
and out into their small courtyard.

At a loss over Robert’s unexpected behavior, she
decided to let him calm down before approaching him again about his
brash actions. Suzette understood how a young boy could construe a
newborn as a threat to his attention. Every young child feels
jealousy when a new baby enters the family, she concluded.

It bothered her deeply that her son felt Philippe
loved Angelique more. She had never seen Philippe be anything but
kind to Robert. He had always shown such love for him in her
presence.

Suzette walked back to the nursery and found Madame
Dubois in a rocking chair soothing Angelique. “I asked Robert to
apologize to you, but he seems to have run off. I’m sure he’ll come
around.”

“Madame, I should have said something to you before,
but this is not the first time I’ve caught the little boy being
somewhat gruff with his new sister.”

“What do you mean this is not the first time?”

“Well, there have been other instances where he’s
poked and pinched Angelique. I hadn’t thought very much of it and
reprimanded his behavior at the time. Children do tend to struggle
with jealousy issues when a newborn arrives in the household.”

“That disturbs me,” Suzette admitted. “I wish you
would have told me this beforehand, so I could have dealt with this
sooner.”

“I apologize, Madame—an oversight on my part. I
assure you that should it happen again, I will tell you
straightaway.”

“Please do,” Suzette replied, in a miffed tone.

She walked downstairs and found Robert, as she
suspected, playing in their courtyard uncaring that he had done
anything wrong. His attitude saddened Suzette. The young life
developing before her had certain personality traits that she
worried about often. Where had they come from? Certainly not from
her or her even-tempered father. Robert never displayed such anger
in her presence either, except for the time he kicked in the door
to save her at the Chabanais.

Whatever force drove her son, now throwing rocks in
their garden, would need to be dealt with posthaste. Perhaps when
Philippe returned home, he would put down a more stern hand and
watch Robert more closely. Her son’s accusation that Philippe loved
Angelique more than him, resonated uncomfortably in Suzette’s
mind.

She walked to the parlor, but not before asking her
maid to brew a steaming cup of tea. As she entered, she found
Philippe’s letter on the floor. Suzette picked it up and held it in
her hand. Everything in her life was being challenged, from her
marriage to her children. Exhausted and confused, she flopped down
upon the settee.

Robert clearly wanted more than Suzette believed
achievable. How could she consider the possibility of divorce? She
had a newborn in the nursery. Philippe would never allow her to
take the child, nor would the courts grant her custody.

“Oh, the situation is impossible!” she moaned
aloud.

“Madame Moreau, your tea.”

The maid stood in the doorway with a clear expression
of surprise written across her face. Suzette felt a hot flush run
up her neck. Clearly embarrassed that her verbalization was heard
by one of the staff, she quickly apologized.

“Forgive me.”

“Will there be anything else you require?”

“No, that is all.” Her maid exited the room, and
Suzette felt exposed and ashamed.

She took a sip of tea and tried to relax, her mind
filled with thoughts. Robert had departed the park without asking
for another meeting. She had no idea what hotel he resided, nor
whether he would stay in Paris or return to England. His departing
words were troubling. “
Not yet. I’m not ready to leave my
family.”

Her emotional bonds between two men pulled at her
soul until she felt it would rip her apart. She owed so much to
Philippe, yet she owed so much to Robert! In the beginning, all she
ever wanted was to be was his wife. After she vowed to be the wife
of another man, those dreams perished.

Robert, with his persistent tug upon her heart, had
resurrected the love she held for him. She believed it foolish to
think they could ever have a life together. What horrible
heartbreak would they all suffer?

It’s far too selfish of us to pursue our own
desires at the price of others
, she thought.

A knock came at the parlor door, and her butler
entered with an envelope in hand.