The Preppers Lament (15 page)

7

Rambling and Reminiscing

“Julie,

I am ready for a stiff drink, how about you?
You ready for one yet?” David said heading for the kitchen.

“Sounds wonderful to me, it has been a long day hasn’t it?” “Julie said following him to the kitchen.

“Yea it sure has been a long one Julie, I am starting to get back into shape little by little but I still have to take a lot more rest breaks than I used to when working that garden. I felt like I was going to fallout from unused to exertion several times today while swinging that mattock to cut tree roots and break up the soil. Tomorrow I have decided that I am going to go ahead and use up whatever gas is still left in the tiller and loosen up that dirt so it’s much easier to work with. I might even waste a gallon of gas and get the garden as close to spring ready as I can while I have the food to supply my body energy to throw at the task. Let’s see, we got about 2 months until spring planting and I am guessing that should be enough time to get the fugelfort garden built and start the soil and wood composting. I have got an idea about trying to plant that little clearing in the woods that you can see from the garden. “David said after handing her his version of a moonshine and lemonade cocktail. That’s about the entire adult beverage they had left alcohol wise. David and her had drank up the whiskey and coke about the first week of grid down and had hunkered inside the house to discuss future plans like it was a hurricane party. It hade taken David about another three weeks after that binge to ferment some mash and distill up some home brew fiery elixir. Two big jars of country time lemonade from his preps were reserved for mixer for this fire water because the long-term storage drink mixes were too precious to use because of their calorie count additions to their diets. David had about three cases of orange and apple number 10 sized cans of the long term storage drink mix to augment the meager calories in the premade freeze dried meals he had stored. The extra vitamins and minerals contained in the drink mixes were very important to their welfare. Besides when it came to David’s sometimes over indulgent drinking habits, one drink equaled many more in the same sitting and as he put it he was not going to “Piss away dinner and breakfast while catching a buzz foolishly playing with his homemade hooch.” The drink mixes were to be rationed for meals and nothing else.

“I know that particular spot in the woods where you are talking about David. You are talking about over by that big sawn up fallen tree right?” Julie said taking a sip from her drink and making a “this tastes wonderful” happy face as she was finally getting able to settle in for the day with a relaxed easy smile.

The area David had referred to was nothing more than a leaf covered small oval woodland clearing about 25x 30ft that had a bark shorn 20 inch circumference fallen tree laid across the edge that had been sawn to lengths but had left laying in the dirt and rotting. The tree looked like it was rotting years ago when David bought his place and he had just left it as it was and let the forest reclaim it however it wanted too.

“I am going to till up the center of that clearing and throw some of the dirt over that tees trunk. We can add more brush and limbs around the perimeter and slowly cover it and those logs with dirt as we go. I haven’t made my mind up on that yet. I think we have enough logwood already cut for winter, but I still want to be able to just wander in the woods close by the house and be able to pick up enough fallen limbs and sticks to feed that SilverFire Hunter if we have too. I might just try to compost those logs from the trunk and depend on row cropping for the rest of the clearing to augment the garden.” David said settling down on the couch close to Julie and taking a long satisfying sip of his drink after describing part of his plan.

“I can see why you want to use the tiller. That area is probably full of tree roots and you will be swinging that mattock and axe enough just to make paths for the tiller to get through. How about if I gather up tree limbs and such while you work on that project? I could pile the wood up closer to the house around that area and later on you can decide if you want to use them for a garden or we need to save them for cook fires or heating?.” Julie said patting his leg and unwinding after the days chores.

They were both pretty tired and dirty from their day’s exertions and didn’t want to move around much just yet. The sterling powered eco fan atop the wood stove was spinning wildly as the stoked up woodstove radiated its blazing heat in the small place. This tended to create sauna like conditions until a bed of coals was created that would allow David to feed the fire one log at a time from now until it was loading it up to max for bed time.

The excessive heat in the house made David half way consider stripping down with Julie and partaking of a “cat bath” from the water they had heating in a big iron kettle setting on the woodstove. He decided for now he was just too comfortable and enjoying his drink and talking to Julie to bring that subject up and just settled.

“David, please point that fan towards the back of the house or take it off the stove if you would.” Julie said pulling off her boots and socks and beginning to fan her over heating self momentarily with her hand.

“Sorry baby, you know how it is with that thing. I got the damper closed on her and the air intake shut down but it’s not much use. I can’t do anything about the excessive heat until it burns down some.” David said as he was closest to it to do something about the small fan circulating heat directly in there direction on the couch.

“Julie I got rather an odd idea about that clearing I also wanted to kick with you. If we fooglefort the perimeter of that clearing we will basically end up with a sort of defensive earthworks like they used in the revolutionary war. If I leave some of the tree branches sticking out towards a line of possible attack it would be pretty effective.” David shared and to Julie he evidently was already starting to catch a buzz and reverting to his sometimes addled military mind regarding obscure bits of info.

“So you were thinking about building you a fort David?  What are you going to call it?” Julie said going along with the strange notion and humoring David.

“Lord knows he had already transformed and tried to fortify the house to a certain extent.
That didn’t even include how David’s eccentric but good taste in decorating what he referred to as his “Prepper Shack had already occurred before the grid went down.” Julie thought beginning to grin.

David had created an atmosphere in the about 8ft x 25 ft common room area at the front of his house that could be described as Gilligan’s Island borrows props from the Korean War comedy show M.A.S.H. When David first moved to where he was creating his little “Bug-In” retirement home he was sorely regretting that he couldn’t afford to move to his love of the beach in northwest Florida so he compromised. This particular property was as far south as he could afford to get to in the direction of Florida and as far as he was concerned he was going to decorate it like Florida to remind himself he was only a couple hours away from the hurricanes and high prices.

The common room took on a nautical theme like a bachelor sea captains inland retirement cottage. A pair of large copper antique ship lanterns graced the top of a beloved and moved too many times old worn mahogany dresser. A large hand painted oil picture of a great four mast sailing ship hung over the couch and above that a hand carved wooden mermaid from Bali graced the wall with her bare bosom

.

A Russian Mosin Nagant rifle with bayonet affixed hung over one window suspended from a gun rack made of welded horseshoes. . Framing it were two solar LED lights with the wires running down to a blue metal battery box. He had some Vietnam era military issue. Flak jackets for chair back covers over two of the four dining room chairs that braced his work and socializing table.

8

Tent Toters

“David are you about ready to start helping me water proof those tents?” Julie asked.

“In a second darlin, I thought I had me another tube of seam sealer around here somewhere. One tube is enough but I would like to put my hands on my other one first if I can find it” David said rummaging about some shelves.

“So explain to me why you want to set those tents up so they can be seen from the road. Also what is it that inspired this project when you got so many other things to be doing?” Julie said as she started going through a box David handed her to search for the missing tube of sealant.

“Well I grew up during the days when nobody expected floors in tents. When I was in the Boy scouts we had for our use those big yellow canvas baker tents and I camped in many a drip fest and stayed nice and dry. Rarely did we ever need to trench around the tents, to do so usually means you’re going to accumulate a whole lot more water from the effort than leaving it alone or better yet sometimes just strategically piling a bit of dirt at a low place. I remember that the tents dirt or pasture grass floor and my poncho stayed dry 98% of the time. I am telling you someone ought to have started a website called all-tents-suck.org because the manufacturers of today now have got the purchasers to do their job for them waterproofing the useless things they sell and they continue to get away with it.

How many preppers or campers got the unique opportunity to depend on a brand new or slightly used tent only to find that in a bit of rain it leaked miserably and usually in the middle of the night? The instructions to the tent supplied by the manufacturer when you buy it says to use seam sealer before actual camping use but this warning also should say spray some other kind of waterproofer all over the damn thing too for good measure. There has been many a camping trip I have been on where I saw people pitching tarps over their tents and putting another tarp under it in order to try to stay dry. Kind of gives you a whole another mindset about people’s chances of surviving in a “Homeless Tent City” or being foolish or solely misguided enough to depend on this type of shelter in a bug out.

“I got me a brand new old style two shelter half canvas Army pup tent that me and you are going to depend on sweetie if we decide to go somewhere. If you don’t touch the damn roof on the inside they never failed me in all the years I spent under one when I was in the Army. That style of tent was in service about a hundred years and used many wars and for what it is, it just plain works as shelter. I wish I had bought me a few more tents when they were cheap when the army switched over to a different model.” David said reminiscing and then brightening noticeably as Julie found the missing sealant and they headed outside to setup the two nylon tents they had as a project for today.

“I already understood the need for us to waterproof the things; I was more wondering why is it that you’re trying to make it look like we got extra company coming or have maybe already arrived here.” Julie said pondering what scheme David might be up to.

“Oh that, well a bit of curiosity if anyone notices is a good thing I am guessing. Besides, I am only going to leave them up overnight and let that sealant dry well. I want to have our tents ready and in the best working order I can in case we have to bug ourselves out of here for some reason. I doubt we are going anywhere any time soon but you can never tell and I might not be lucky enough to have a vehicle to climb into one rainy night if we get ourselves caught sleeping out in one of these fair weather tents. I am real curious however just how much these tents might get noticed and talked about by the neighbors. Ha! Sounds like fun. Mind games and curiosity, Mind games and curiosity will keep the gossip going around here a bit longer. Well maybe someone will come visit to ask about them or maybe not. Either way, we will get the task done and pack one tent in the van and put one in the prep shed.” David said as they began assembling the tents at the end of his driveway in an arrangement like someone was setting up camp there.

“Playing with these tents sure brings back great memories David of when we all camped out at Prepper Stock 2014 doesn’t it?” Julie said smiling at the pleasant recollection.

“Makes you wonder how all those fine folks are making out about right now don’t it.” David said smiling back as he began securing the last tent pole.

“It sure does, I bet all of them preppers are bugged in by now and doing just fine for themselves, well better tan most anyways. Wish we could have gone to the regional event this year but we tried. Makes me sad we had one more chance to see all of them again and missed it.” Julie stated sighing in fond memory of all those prepper faces gathered around a campfire or two.

“Me too, I sure wish we could have made it but we just couldn’t swing it. We did make a camping trip or two this year though. How much lead time did do you imagine that them cross country preppers, the ones that traveled in by airplane or drove it have to get home before this shit hit? I am having problems with associating this shit to dates and times. They changed the dang date of that thing so many times I am confused. Hell I don’t know even what today is, do you?” David said straightening up after securing a tent peg.

“March 22
nd
I think. I guess folks attending Prepper Stock had maybe a week or so to get home?” Julie said looking in David’s direction with her brow furrowed in mental calculation.

“Sounds about right. I wonder if they are ever going to get some kind of phone service working regular, well just fixing the landlines anyway. From now on you and I need to try the phone every once in awhile for service and call Crick Miller (as in “down by the crick (creek.)” any chance that we may get. I want to find out what shape his area is in and how him and his buddy Morgan is making out. Julie, if for some reason we have got to bug out north then we will be heading somewhere in his general direction I am guessing.” David said starting to reveal some plans he was considering for their safety and security.

“Ok, if your not around when I get through I will tell him that, but why all this talk of bugging out David? That is not like you at all. I thought we were remaining here from now on. The whole count your blessings, stay with all your stuff and bug in thing. What is it that’s seems to be worrying you David? You know that I want to know and I bet you know I want to know now.” Julie said looking very anxious and concerned about what ever might be bothering David.

“Nothing special, well maybe just a small concern or two has me puzzled for the moment. Do you know what kind of business was operating about 8 or10 miles up the road?” David asked more subdued than he meant to be.

“Some kind of aerospace thing wasn’t it? Are you thinking that it might be a target of some kind?’ Julie said trying to understand what it was about the place that David had some kind of apprehensions about.

“Well they build missiles, actual missiles or assemble missile parts for the military I don’t know but I am going to ask Mike first chance I get about that. If there is something down there that can explode and make a bigger boom than I can imagine well then I want to know something more about it. Another thing is that if its primary function is manufacturing for the department of defense then maybe our area will get relief attention quicker than somewhere else. I also want to watch that place like a canary in a coal mine for a bit, might find out something interesting.” David concluded looking at the little campsite being setup and ready to waterproof.

“Like? What kind of information do you think you might learn from seeing if that place opens its doors or not?” Julie asked thinking about what the possibilities might mean.

“Like whether or not the workers go home after a shift. Probably not, there is not much gas and there is precedence for workers staying at factors in emergencies or during times of disaster. I am wondering if they will work folks maybe two weeks on then a week off or something; remember there are a lot of families attached to those workers. Feeding the plant workers cafeteria style is one thing, but what about the families staying back alone? Folks wont stay on a job very long if they are worried about the families at home. How that situation is handled will be the biggest indicator I can think of as to what our chances are and where the regular unaffiliated folks like us stand in the pecking order of things.” David explained.

“Ok I think I understand you David. You want to see like if they bus the workers families in to feed them at the plant or will be holding there own worker family food drops and the rest of us ain`t supposed to notice. Yea sounds like a good place to get news about and watch if we can. Are there any other places we need to be being paying special attention to?” Julie asked while spreading some clear gummy seam sealer on the first tent.

“I don’t know right off hand; I am still trying to think of some more places that might bear us watching. We probably won’t be able to watch nothing much though anyway, why waste the gas if there is nothing to see or gain? I am going to undertake to drive down and ask that farmer with the geese what he sees traffic wise on the interstate once in awhile though. Outside of the radio news we are pretty much cut off. Come to think of it, I might have my apprehensions about driving up to that farmer’s house in the state of affairs we are in. I am sure half this road remembers his chickens and geese for sale signs and has already gone over to talk to him one way or another. I wish I had gone over there to begin with instead of putting it off so long and forgetting about it. I think I will just stay where I am at and keep a low profile for now. I have too many unknowns going on outside this property to be venturing out just for news and I doubt he has increased his flock to a surplus yet that maybe I could trade him something for.” David said spraying the rain fly with water sealant.

“We need to pack us a box or two and discuss what type of stuff you need to move to a FEMA camp if the occasion ever arose also besides just getting our camping gear together today. You won’t see me near one of those camps if I can in anyway help it, but you never know about relocations. It isn’t possible to move all our preps with us and we really have no idea how long they will last us until we can somehow replace foodstuffs. I don’t want you to have any illusions of never having to go to one at all, that would be foolish. A tornado could come through here and we could lose everything for example. Instead of thinking about not going, think about how you would survive in a camp and build onto your strategies and resources to maximize your comfort. I will give you some examples of bugging to a shelter versus bugging out to the woods. One thing is clothes; take everything you can winter and summer in your car and dress grey man in the trailer park with your older clothes. Think of it as starting out in a new life with just your cars contents and be ready for a ton of rules applying to anything questionable as contraband or not allowed on premises. Some things or rules might seem odd at first, like no outside decorations for your house, any media interviews or social worker questionnaires except government recognized ones on camp premises etc. Living in a FEMA trailer park is easy enough to get the hang of if you don’t make a spectacle of yourself complaining or expecting better than you got. Be careful how quick you make friends with those you don’t know and try to gravitate in line with like minded folks for lot assignment. One of those big electric frying pans is a good thing to have when traveling because if you get stuck in a hotel, first you have a means to cook and second technically it’s not a hot plate so not specifically banned. That reminds me, that induction cook plate is an ideal prep also. It’s a low wattage kitchen aide, pretty safe and efficient as well as versatile because you’re not restricted in pot sizes; only restriction is the pan you use to cook with metal composition. It mattered using the cook top if your pots and pans were thermo conducting or non conducting metals.

.