The Power of Love (3 page)

Elaine smiled at the memory as she
looked around her hospital room. She knew how hard it must have
been for Ethan to do this for her again . . . the decorations,
lights and tree. Typical Ethan, he sought to make her last hours
happy ones.

Another contraction gripped her. They
were coming closer together now. She hoped she lived long enough to
see their child’s face. A tear rolled down her cheek, praying she
would survive at least that long.

“Hey,” Ethan said softly as he stepped
into the room. “What’s all this?” He stroked the tear away with the
back of his finger.

She could not tell him what was really
in her heart—regret and sorrow. If she had known she would die a
year later, would she have changed anything over the last year?
Like getting pregnant.

No, she would not change anything.
Ethan had made her the happiest woman in Ireland, and the time they
shared planning and dreaming about their child had been wonderful.
She would not trade that for anything. And as he tried to make her
last hours happy for her, she too wanted their last hours to be
happy ones for him.

She cast her gaze around the room then
back to Ethan. “All this.”

Ethan leaned down and kissed her lips.
“Happy anniversary, my love.” His smile was forced, she could tell,
but his tone held pure love.

“So, where’s my bow?” She winked. Ethan
grinned, knowing what she meant.

“And give the nurses a
thrill?”

“Give
me
a thrill,” she corrected. He sat
beside her on the bed and took her hand in his. “You gave me a
wonderful day to remember, Ethan.”

She saw his eyes glaze over, but he
stayed composed.

“Everything pales beside you, Lany. You
were the most beautiful bride any groom could want.”

“And you’ve always been a
charmer.”

Ethan’s expression sobered. “There’s
nothing charming about me, love. I did some serious scheming to get
you to notice me.”

“It never took scheming, Ethan. I was
yours from the moment I saw you.” She pulled him down to kiss him.
She wished she had the energy to kiss him the way he
deserved.

Another contraction took the breath
from her.

Ethan jerked back. “Are you all
right?”

When she had her breath back, she
nodded. “My waters broke during the tests. The contractions are
coming closer together. It won’t be long now until you’re holding
our baby.”

“Until
we
are holding our baby,” he
corrected.

She squeezed her eyes shut for a moment
then looked back to him. “Ethan,” she started. “I-I don’t think I
have the energy for this. I can barely breathe as it
is.”

He shook his head. “Don’t talk like
that, Lany. Everything will be fine. You’ll see.”

Ethan’s denial broke Elaine’s heart. In
another few hours the truth would be borne with their
child.

“Promise me something,
Ethan.”

“Anything, love. Just name
it.”

Elaine swallowed hard. “If it looks
like . . . if the baby . . .”

“Just say it, Lany.”

“If it looks like I’m not going to . .
. survive long enough . . . I want the doctor to do the scan. I
want to know if it’s a boy or girl. I want to know its name before
. . .”

“Elaine, please. It will be all
right.”

“Ethan, stop. You know what’s
happening. You have to stop denying it. I’m dying, and in all
probability, it’s going to happen before this child is born. Today.
I’m just asking you to honor my last wish.”

Ethan leapt from the bed to pace the
floor to the window across the room. This was hard for him, she
knew, but it was hard for her too. She was the one dying. She would
miss out on everything in their child’s life. Could he not see
that?

Before she could speak again, he turned
back to her. “Okay, Lany. Okay.”

Later that afternoon, her labor came in
earnest. Ethan was beside her, holding her hand and wiping her
brow. He could not help but be angry at the position he was
in—seeing his child delivered while at the same time saying goodbye
to the woman he loved more than anything else in his
life.

The doctor was positioned to deliver
the baby and the room bustled with activity preparing for the
birth. Machines beeped, monitoring both Elaine’s heartbeat and that
of their child. An ultrasound machine stood at the
ready.

“All right, Elaine, I see the crown.
Not long now,” said Doctor Gibbons.

Elaine turned her gaze up to Ethan. She
looked exhausted. They both knew her time was short, but she clung
to life. He hoped she lived much longer than just to get through
the birth. He wanted her around for the rest of his life. He could
not imagine ever loving anyone the way he loved her.

His heart squeezed and his breath
caught in his chest, blocking out the reality that they might only
have a few short minutes left. He pushed back the tears that
threatened and reminded Elaine to breathe.

“Give us a push, Elaine. It won’t be
long now. A little more,” Doctor Gibbons encouraged.

Ethan saw Elaine take as deep a breath
as she could and pushed.

The monitor started beeping rapidly.
Elaine turned her gaze to Ethan. “Eth-an,” she gasped weakly. “I
can’t do it. I’m not . . . going . . . to make . . .
it.”

The oxygen was suddenly sucked out of
the room and he could not breathe. Tears welled in his eyes.
“You’ve got to hang in there, Lany. The baby is almost here.
There’s no time for a scan. Just hold on, love. Hold
on.”

Ethan spun toward the doctor. “You have
to hurry, doctor. She has to see the baby before . . .” He could
not finish his sentence. He could not believe this was happening.
No amount of time could prepare anyone for this moment.

“The shoulders are through. One more
push and we’ll see your son or daughter, Elaine. Come on, now. One
more big push.”

Ethan stroked Elaine’s brow, drying her
perspiration and brushing the stray hairs from her eyes. “Come,
love. The baby will be here with one more push.”

Elaine blinked several times as if to
clear her vision. “Ethan.” Her voice was thready. He leaned in
closer to hear her. “I . . . I love you. Always . . . remember . .
.”

“Sweetheart, take deep breaths. Our
baby is almost here. Please, Lany, breathe,” he pleaded. It was all
happening too soon, too fast.

“N-no, Eth-an. List-en to me. I love
you. I can’t . . .” She blinked rapidly. “I can’t . . . see.” Her
arms flailed weakly, reaching out to him.

The machine beeped wildly now. Ethan
grasped her hands in his, kissing her fingers. “Lany!” he cried.
“Elaine, hold on. Doctor, you have to hurry.”

Doctor Gibbons worked quickly. “Ah,
here we are. We’re just snipping the cord.” He stood quickly then,
with the baby in his arms, stepped around the bed. Ethan’s mouth
fell open at the tiny bundle the doctor thrust into his
arms.

“It’s a boy,” announced the
doctor.

“Lany, it’s a boy,” cried Ethan, but
Elaine’s head lulled to the side. The monitor stopped beeping and
was replaced by the flatline sound. “Elaine,” his voice barely a
whisper against her ear. “I love you.”

Emergency doctors and nurses had
managed to get Elaine’s heart started, but she had not regained
consciousness. Ethan now sat beside her hospital bed, their newborn
son in his arms and the decorations he had put up sparkling and
winking. He cooed to his son and told him about the lights. All the
while he prayed Elaine would wake up long enough to see their
son.

He still had not chosen a name. He and
Elaine talked about names but had never agreed on one. Now it was
up to him and he wanted it to be something perfect—something she
would have loved, too.

Until she woke up, he would sit here
and wait so they could make the decision together.

Elaine was not sure how she had gotten
here. The last she knew, she had been lying in the delivery room
giving birth, monitors beeping wildly around her. She had felt as
though she was suffocating and her body had ached with incredible
pain.

Then there was blissful
silence.

When she had finally become aware of
her surroundings, everything had changed. Her body no longer ached
and she breathed easier than she had in months.

She saw Ethan sitting in her hospital
room beside her bed, his decorations lighting the room. The room
was quiet except for the even beeping of the machine connected to
her body and Ethan’s quiet weeping.

She moved to stand beside him. He held
her hand in both of his, kissing her fingers and whispering
something she could not hear through his tears. She reached out to
touch his shoulder, but her hand passed right through him. His body
jolted at the same time and his head shot up, looking around. Did
her effort get through to him?

She saw the haggard look on his face.
It broke her heart. He needed sleep, needed this to be over. It
should have been. He knew her wishes about not wanting to be kept
alive on monitors and other devices. Looking around, the only
machine in the room seemed to be the heart monitor that continued
to beep evenly, even if the numbers on the monitor showed her blood
pressure was critically low.

Why was her body still alive if she was
not part of it any longer and machines were not keeping her
so?

If she had been able to weep, she would
have. She ached for Ethan and wanted closure for him. She saw how
much the continued ordeal wore on him.

She did not see their child and
wondered if she had delivered it safely. She wanted to seek out the
nursery, but Ethan shifted, drawing her attention to him again. He
rose and closed the door, then returned to her bedside where he lay
down beside her, wrapping his arm around her and laying his cheek
against her breast. It was only then that he let his tears fall
freely. His body spasmed with his wracking sobs.

Elaine spun around where she stood. She
could not watch this. Ethan’s pain melted into her body and she
felt it inside her across the room.

If she were dead, why did she not see a
light to go to? If she were alive, why could she not open her eyes?
Would she end up just surviving in the hospital for the rest of her
life, living this way and never giving Ethan the freedom he
deserved? Worse, her spirit surviving in Limbo and having to watch
it all?

Grief welled inside her and she tried
to cry, but the only sound was her tortured wail of
frustration.

It was then she felt a hand on her
shoulder. The voice was deep and almost familiar. When she turned,
she had a hard time believing whom she saw.

The man standing beside her had a thick
beard and silky looking hair. His voice was gentle,
spiritual.

“You love this man,” he said. It was a
statement and not a question.

“Yes. More than you know.”

The man’s eyes sparkled like the lights
Ethan had hung around the room, but more intense—no less than she
expected from such a man.

“A Christmas wish, Elaine?” he
offered.

Her eyes snapped open in surprise. “A
wish?” The man nodded. She turned her gaze back to Ethan. What she
wanted was for this all to be a cruel mistake. She wanted to wake
up and put her arms around her husband, get up from her bed,
collect their child from the nursery and leave the hospital and not
return until she had lived a rich and full life. That is what she
truly wanted.

But wishes were not for keeping. They
were for giving away. And what she wanted was to give Ethan the
life he deserved. She wanted his pain to end. She wanted him to
take their child home and give it the life she could not. She knew
Ethan would tell their child everything about her and share his
love of her, but she wanted his pain to end. And that meant finding
the light. So perhaps her wish would be for both of
them.

“I want the light. I don’t see it. If
it would only shine, I could walk into it and Ethan could get on
with the rest of his life, find someone else to love and raise our
child in a family.”

Elaine squeezed her eyes shut, trying
to make the tears come so she could relieve some of the ache inside
her. She did not even know if she had given birth to a boy or girl.
If she had another wish . . .

“All things in time,” he
said.

Elaine gazed up at him. Could he read
her mind? Her answer was in the twinkle in his eyes.

He turned to face the bed. She followed
his gaze with her own to see that Ethan’s sobbing had not lessened.
His grief was so great she still felt it within her. She could not
bear it anymore. It was too painful. She would suffer childbirth
time and again if this pain inside her would just end. They had
cried together in the last few weeks, but nothing like this, and it
was tearing her apart.

The man beside her stepped away from
her and over to the bed. He pulled a broad hand from beneath his
floor length white trimmed burgundy cloak and placed it against her
breast where her body lay on the bed. It sank through her, much as
her spirit hand had done when she tried to touch Ethan. How could
she feel this man’s touch, yet at the same time be watching from
across the room?