The Pledge (17 page)

As always, I wished that Aron were here. He would have stayed with me. He would never leave my side.

But Aron was against Brook’s rules. She didn’t like to take him with us on our outings. She was content to compete with
him for my attention during the daytime hours, the way it had always been, but only because she had to. At night it was supposed to be just the two of us.

Her rule was absurd, really, considering she found new friends every time we went out and was quick to abandon me if the opportunity arose.

I glanced up in time to see Brooklynn dancing with a partner now, a boy with scruffy hair who pulled her close, his arm wrapped around her waist while she gazed boldly into his eyes as if they were the only two who existed within the crowded space.

Before I could roll my own eyes, a steely voice from behind intruded on my thoughts, causing me to shiver even in the balmy night. “You shouldn’t be here. The park isn’t safe after dark.” And then I felt his hand—his palm—lightly stroke the length of my bare arm, a tender gesture, at odds with his tone.

My stomach plummeted, and I felt sick at the very same time that I noticed a distinct spark of something else flickering through me. Something far too close to hope. I quelled that part of me, responding instead to the warning in his voice as I set my jaw, refusing to turn around.

“Fortunately for me, it’s not your decision where I go after dark. Or who I keep company with.” I pulled my arm away, ignoring the hairs that prickled in the wake of his touch. I stalked away, to the other side of the dancers, keeping my eyes focused on Brook so I wouldn’t lose her in the crowds. And also so I wouldn’t have to look at Max. So I wouldn’t have to face his unsettling gray eyes.

I could hear his footsteps following right behind me. “Charlie, wait. I didn’t mean to tell you what to do.” His voice was gentler this time, begging me to listen.

I shook my head—my stubborn refusal—but it was more to myself. I doubted he’d even noticed the slight movement in the flickering torchlight.

A part of me wanted him to follow me—I was almost certain I did—even though I was very nearly running away from him. My heart was speeding, and the confusion of my own reaction made me feel dizzy and unsure.

My entire body was tingling as if it had never been more alive.

Then his hand covered mine, pulling me to a stop as he stood before me. The battle within me surged until I was overwhelmed with frustration.

I wanted my hand back. And I didn’t.

It seemed as if it belonged in his, yet I refused to even look at him.

“Charlie.” Just that one word, that one whispered sound, and he had my complete attention.

I tried to breathe around my pride, but it was too thick in my throat. His thumb moved, ever so slightly, releasing a floodgate of currents that rocked through me.

My shoulders slumped.

“Go home. I can’t keep my promise if you put yourself in harm’s way.”

His promise.
The reminder of his note sent chills over my entire body, and still, I felt myself straining to be closer to him.

“I’m not leaving,” I insisted, afraid to raise my eyes. Afraid
to see him, and to let him see what I was trying so hard to hide. That I wanted to keep him near me.

He dropped my hand, and it fell to my side feeling strangely cold and empty. When he spoke again, his voice was hard, clipped. “What if I insist that you go?”

My eyes shot upward, staring at him in disbelief. “You can’t do that!”

But as soon as I looked at him, I knew that I was wrong. I knew he could do
just
that.

His uniform was crisp, immaculate, commanding. It was all the authority he’d need to have me escorted from the park, to have me taken back to my home.

It wouldn’t matter that I wanted to stay; Max could force me to leave.

My jaw tightened and I scowled at him, taking a step closer. The only conflict I felt now was toward him. “You wouldn’t dare! I have every right to be here. I haven’t done anything wrong, I’m not the one harassing people, you are! You’re the one who should leave.” I reached out and tried to shove him out of my way, but he didn’t budge. He didn’t even flinch. “I just want to be with my friend tonight,” I rasped, my voice verging on hysteria. “If I’d known you would be here, I wouldn’t even have come.” I tried to step around him, but his arms reached out and were around me before I realized what had happened.

My face was pressed against his chest; I could hear his heart thrumming beneath the thick wool of his jacket. I could feel the warmth of his body straining toward me, the way mine yearned to be near him. And the spicy scent of him, as
I breathed it in, made me light-headed. I craved more. So,
so
much more.

My resolve slipped, and then crumbled. I took harbor within his arms.

“And if
I’d
known you were going to be here, I’d have come just to see you.” Max’s voice rumbled beneath my ear. Then he spoke again, in a language that should have been foreign to me.
“All I want is to keep you safe, Charlie. It’s all I’ve ever wanted.”

Just like that it was over, the brief and idyllic moment in which I’d come so close to letting down my guard. I stiffened before I could even respond, wishing he hadn’t just said that.

Not in that way.

I shoved away from him, untangling myself from his arms.

When I glared at him, I could see that he knew what he’d done, that he understood where he’d gone wrong. He should have spoken in Englaise.

“Charlie, I’m sorry.”

But I was already disappearing into the crowd, and this time he didn’t come after me.

Even though a part of me still wanted him to.

Brooklynn was breathless by the time she found me, and even though I was no longer in the mood for her jubilance, she brought it with her anyway. She was intoxicated off both attention
and
drink. It was her perfect high.

She reached for my hand, drawing me from the spot where I’d been hiding, among the trees that stood along the river’s
edge. What the foliage didn’t conceal, the darkness had taken care of, keeping me out of sight.

But Brook had been determined, and I’d heard her calling my name long before she’d discovered me there, tucked into the dark space where I could sulk in silence.

“I just met the most amazing guy. You’ve got to come meet him. Trust me, Charlie, you’re gonna love him!” Her hands over mine didn’t feel comforting or strong the way Max’s had. Her skin felt warm and soft, but her fingers dug insistently into mine.

I took a few steps but only because she was pulling me, and I stumbled onto the path. “If he’s so great, why don’t you hang out with him? You don’t need me.”

Brooklynn grinned, her eyebrow raised. “Because he has a friend. A really cute friend.” She pulled again and dragged me another couple of steps. “Come on, you don’t want to miss this.”

I shook my head, digging in my heels. “I’m not in the mood to meet anyone. Not tonight, Brook.”

She let go of me and put her hands on her hips. Her posture was defiant, her brown eyes glittering. “Why not? Because of your little soldier boy?”

I stared at her, not sure I understood her meaning.

She shrugged. “Yeah, that’s right; I saw the two of you. So what, Charlie? I also saw that he didn’t come after you. Why waste your time sitting here alone and letting him ruin all your fun?”

I might have hated Brooklynn at that moment, or as close to it as I ever had before.

She’d watched me argue with Max and had let me wander
away by myself, knowing I was upset. She was more worried about getting back to some guy she’d just met than she was that I might have needed her.

But there was something else, too, something about the way she’d said “soldier boy,” her voice dripping with venom.

Was Brook jealous?

I thought about that afternoon at the school, when Max hadn’t paid attention to her, even after she’d tried her best to make him notice her. Brooklynn wasn’t used to being ignored.

And she certainly wasn’t used to being ignored for me.

Suddenly I wondered if that was why she liked having me around—if it made her feel better knowing that men would almost always notice her before they would me. I wondered if that was why Aron couldn’t come with us, if it was because he had seen through her outward appearance and had decided that he liked me better.

Yet, still, I guess I really wasn’t mad at Brook. I wasn’t even envious that when we returned to the rally so she could introduce me to the guys she wanted me to meet, their eyes would be on her and not on me.

I should be, I supposed. I should be angry and hurt and petty, the way she was.

Instead I just felt sorry for her.

Max was still there. I couldn’t see him, but I knew he was nearby. I could feel his presence as surely as I could feel my own.

I played along with Brooklynn, pretending to have fun, if
only for Max’s benefit, to let him know that I didn’t care if he thought I should leave.

I met Brook’s friends, and she was right, the boy she’d met—the one with the messy hair who she’d been dancing with before—seemed very nice. His friend, Paris, was cute too. Plus, they were Vendors. They wore the simple fabrics, in shades of brown and gray, that were familiar to me. And with them I wouldn’t have to pretend not to understand their words, no matter which language they spoke in. These were the kind of people I
should
be keeping company with.

But I wasn’t wrong when I’d guessed that both of them would spend the evening watching Brooklynn. Even Paris, who did his best to make me feel at ease, couldn’t keep his eyes off her entirely.

It didn’t really matter, though; I didn’t want to be there with him, either. Every fiber of my body strained to locate Max’s presence among the revelers, until I felt anxious and tense. Still, I laughed at the boy’s jokes and took the second drink he offered me, ignoring the fact that my head was already starting to spin.

When his hand was at my hip and he was pulling me toward the dancers, I followed, our shoulders bumping against each other as he led the way. He pulled me closer than I was comfortable with, and I was shocked by my reaction, considering that not so long ago I had wondered what it might be like to press myself up against Max. With Paris, it was just the opposite; I was repelled by his touch, my body resistant to his.

Still, his arms were strong, his hands insistent, and he leaned in close.

I glanced around, trying not to feel nervous as his alcohol-laced breath mingled with mine. His body was moving with the music, and rather than cause a scene I decided to go along with it, only half dancing, and only half following the beat. I wondered how far into the song we already were, and how soon I could make an unnoticeable escape.

“You have pretty eyes,”
he complimented me in Parshon. His words were hot and sticky against my face. I almost laughed, trying to remember at what point he’d stopped staring at Brooklynn long enough to notice
my
eyes.

Instead I smiled weakly, leaning my head away from him. “Thanks,” I answered loudly above the music, wishing the song would hurry up and end already.

But it wasn’t a pause in the music that interrupted the awkward dance; it was something I wasn’t prepared for. Something I could never be prepared for.

The roar of the sirens exploded as if the sound was echoing from inside my own head, its shrill din shattering the night. These weren’t the bleats of the curfew.

I felt frozen in place, my mind numbed by the sudden chaos breaking out around me.

Screams erupted, although I could scarcely hear them above the noise. I felt myself being shoved from every direction as people tried to flee, crushing against one another in an effort to escape the park, to seek cover. To find refuge.

I searched for Brooklynn.
I had just seen her!
But now I couldn’t locate her amid the confusion and the press of bodies.

“Brooklynn!” I yelled out, but my voice was lost in the commotion around me.

I watched as a girl, about my own age, fell to the ground in the crush to get away. A man ran over the top of her, his heavy boot kicking her square in the head. She tried to get out of the way of the others, crawling across the ground toward the edge of the path, her fingers clawing at the dirt beneath her, but she couldn’t move fast enough.