The Pleasure's All Mine (41 page)

Raven’s eyes widened. She couldn’t remember. She was so frightened.

“Oh, I’m not offended, but I will give you a piece of advice.”

Ann nibbled on her bottom lip, then locked gazes with Raven. “After this experience—and you do still want the experience, right?”

Raven whispered a breathy, “If I don’t, you’ll lose all that money.”

“I’m not worried about the money, sweetheart. And trust me, I won’t lose a dime. What I want is a
willing
woman, virgin territory—those are the kind of women who derive the most pleasure from this.”

Raven averted her gaze for a moment. “You were giving me some advice.”

“Don’t come back to this wing again. If you’re so inclined, bring your….mate to be tested and hit the swingers wing, but not here. Do you feel me?”

Ann was forbidding her to come back to this place?

“I take it that you’re the type of woman who needs love to feel complete. What you feel for him is love. If you love him, don’t play with him. This right here with me is not about love—it’s all about giving and receiving pleasure.” She uncrossed her legs, slid next to Raven, and slipped her hands across the ample breasts. “Anyone—male or female—can make love to you, and it can be mind-bending sex if you open yourself to it. I did it for years. But for it to last, it has to mean something. Has to be about
who
you make love to. And what’s obvious to me is that you want that man.” Ann pressed a gentle kiss to Raven’s shoulder. “Have you ever had an overwhelming attraction to a woman or wanted to make love to a woman?”

“No, but I liked when you—”

“That’s not what I’m asking.”

Raven closed her eyes for a moment, then sighed. “Then no, but I always wanted to know what was the driving force behind my mothers. What was so great about it that they would both leave their husbands to be together? What was it about their lifestyle that made their exes so angry?”

“Well, it’s nothing men can compete with. Ego’s involved. ‘I wasn’t man enough to hold my woman,’” Ann deepened her voice and crooked her fingers like quotation marks as she said it, “‘so she went to a woman for loving.’ Men can’t handle that.” She let out a resentful laugh. “This type of relationship has been a threat for eons; it’s something that they can’t control. And that’s the real issue. Control. If they want to see a little girl-on-girl action, everything’s cool, but let the woman enjoy the other woman more than him…” Ann’s tone became somber, yet tinged with sadness. “And speaking of control, if you’re ever in my bed again, it’s a whole new game. I’ll take it easy on you this time, but the next time, when I’m done with you,” she flicked a fingertip over Raven’s pearl, causing her body to arch, “you won’t even remember your fucking name. You hear me?”

The dark brown depths of Ann’s gaze was so intense, Raven was forced to look away, whispering, “Yes, Ann. I hear you.”

Twenty-four hours later, Pierce had had enough. He booked the next flight out and had the doorman call him a cab. An hour later, as he waited for his flight, his phone rang. He answered, hoping it was Raven. No such luck.

“Eric, what’s going on?”

“Marie just landed at Midway.”

Pierce scanned the area, saying, “I’m at Midway.”

“You’re leaving? But I thought—”

“Your mother has made it abundantly clear where her priorities are. I’m not one of them.”

Eric let out a long sigh, whining, “Y’all fell out a
gain
?”

Pierce didn’t bother to respond.

“We’re supposed to meet Mom at Blu 47. Can you be there?”

He hated to inform the little fellow that there was a good possibility that Raven would be a no-show. She must be having one hell of a time for her not to pick up the phone, send a text—something. Was she having sex with that man? With his wife? Was that what it was all about? Swinging? Did Raven complete their little threesome?

One thing was for certain, whatever the hell was going on, whenever Raven resurfaced, she’d get his take on her “secrecy.” He wouldn’t be there. To hell with this!

“My flight leaves in thirty minutes. I really think you can handle this on your own,” Pierce said, fighting back emotions he couldn’t quite name. Raven had really put one over on him. What the hell was the woman really into? And if she loved him so much, why couldn’t she have told the truth?

“Please?” Eric whined. “Pierce, you know Mom will go off the deep end if you’re not around.”

Hell, Raven went off the deep end even when he was present. Being there didn’t mean much. Not much at all.

First he’d landed a woman who had rejected him because he couldn’t give her the children she desired. Now he had a woman who’d rather live in secrecy than trust him with the truth. He would never be enough for Raven either. Could he accept that she’d disappear from time to time into this Castle underground? Did she expect him to sit on the sidelines and just be patient while she did God-knows-what with God-knows-whom? What did she have to be sure about? About being with him? Damn! That hurt like hell. She’d said he was the perfect man. And he had thought she was the perfect woman.

Evidently perfection was a moving target. And he’d missed—again.

❤ ❤ ❤

Raven walked into the condo early on Sunday morning—a whole day and a half after she had promised she would return. Where had the time gone? She went from room to room, only to find that Pierce was missing. He left a note saying, “I had some business to take care of,” which made her wonder. He didn’t have business in Chicago yet. Well, besides her, of course.

She would tell him everything. She had to and if she lost him, then he wasn’t the man for her after all. Raven refused to think about the fact that she had probably lost him already. And for what? Ava had been so right.

She quickly showered, changed and hit the door.

Eric had invited her to Sunday brunch at Blu 47—an eclectic but modern restaurant in an area once called “the low end,” but with an outpouring of money and redevelopment and a sprinkle of white folks, it was now called, the new Bronzeville. When Raven walked in, she was surprised to see that Pierce was already there. His angry glare, lips set in a thin hard line didn’t signal happiness at her presence. His gaze flickered over her body as if trying to denote any signs of change. Then he looked away at nothing in particular. A vein throbbed at his temple.

She focused her attention on her son. “Eric.” She leaned forward to kiss him.

Pierce stood and pulled out the only available seat, which happened to be next to him. She started to lean over to kiss him and whisper an apology and a promise to tell him everything, but froze midway as she noticed the young, freckled-face woman next to Eric. “Who are you?”

“Mom, this is Marie. Let’s eat first, then talk.”

She had no choice since Eric and the young woman left her at the table as they quickly headed for the buffet. Pierce turned, shifted her chair enough for her to get out, then trailed the youngsters. He didn’t wait to see if Raven was coming or not. Oh, things were pretty bad if he was giving her his back to ponder.

“Pierce?”

He tossed a stony look over his shoulder and kept moving. Raven grimaced and fell in line.

Minutes later, as they dined on everything from grits to greens, Raven said, “Eric, quit stalling.” So far she’d learned the young woman’s name was Marie, but had no clue as to why she was dining with them.

Eric looked at Pierce, then back at Raven.

“And don’t get fresh either. You’re still young enough for me to whip your little tail.”

“Not so little anymore.”

“Neither are the paddles I use.”

Pierce smirked.

What was he thinking? And why was he here if he was just going to give her the cold shoulder?

“Well, Mom, I’ve got good news and good news.”

Raven’s gaze flitted from Eric to Marie to Pierce and back.

“Somehow, I think this is the point where I say I need a drink.” She signaled the waiter.

Eric yanked her hand down. “You don’t drink.”

“Let’s hope it stays that way.” Raven peered at him. He and the young woman were dressed alike. “Eric, what’s going on?”

“You know I always try to keep my promises, right?”

Raven tilted her head.

“Right?”

“Okay and…?”

Eric swallowed hard, but looked his mother directly in the eyes. “And I promised that I wouldn’t have sex until I got married or reached eighteen.”

She merely blinked. “So you’re telling me that you’re not a virgin anymore?”

“Yes.”

Raven’s face went ashen. “But you’re not eighteen.”

“Technically, not yet.”

Her left eyebrow twitched. “And you’re not married.”

Silence.

Raven’s head titled to the left, eyes narrowed to slits. “
And
you’re not married.”

Marie lowered her gaze to the white tablecloth.

“Well see, that’s sort of the good news.”

Raven ruffled a hand through her hair, then turned her head to scan the various parts of the busy restaurant, before saying, “Bring that by me one more time.”

“I’m married.” Eric didn’t give her time to breathe before he added, “And I’m going to be a father.”

Raven’s jaw dropped. She recovered, but not too well. She stood, headed for the bar, and asked for a bottle of Dewar’s, then changed her order when she saw they had a bottle of good old plantation rum.
S
he definitely needed 150 proof!

“Oh, come on, Mom!” Eric said, appearing beside her, shooing the bartender away. “It’s not that bad.”

To hell with the rum!
Raven swiped the nearest glass, grabbed the closest bottle of liquor, and poured, almost topped it off. She turned her back to Eric and took a heavy swig.

Pierce went to her, removed the glass from her trembling hand, put his arms around her, and steered her toward the lobby and away from the curious stares of the other diners. Eric and Marie followed right behind. Eric’s strategy of having this meeting out in the open had backfired. Raven could barely hold her anger in check.

“Mom?”

The plea in his voice made Raven turn. “I never wanted this for you,” she said in a voice hoarse with pain. “This life of doing things so rushed—so ‘right now.’ You’re growing up so fast, making adult choices. You’re not even eighteen and, and—I don’t have my baby boy anymore.”

“Mom, I’ll always be your baby boy.” He reached for her, but she bristled at his touch. “Nothing will change that.”

“I know, I know.” She took a breath. “So now you’re married, and you’re going to be a father…will it stop now?”

“What do you mean?”

“This mad rush in life to be an adult. Can you be Eric now? Just Eric? Huh?” Her lips trembled, hell, her whole body was trembling. “Can you relax and enjoy life now? Instead of trying to cram it all in?”

Eric paled. Marie’s hands flew up to cover her own tear-stained face.

He had passed on three separate advances in elementary school because he wanted to be a kid a little longer. That view of taking things slow changed only when the doctors discovered the cause of his headaches: tumors in his pituitary gland and another close by. He only slowed his roll at graduating from high school, opting for the internship instead so he could go to college with his friends. But everything else in life was on fast forward.

“Is that what you think I’m doing?” Eric whispered, trying to hide the pain in his voice.

Raven’s bottom lip was held prisoner by perfect white teeth as she nodded. “You’ve taken so much from me. I haven’t been more than a friend or a sounding board for you since the day you threatened to take me to court. You’ve practically held me hostage, tying my hands behind my back and rendering me helpless.” She turned away from him.

“Mom, I’m sorry,” he said in a voice full of hurt as he tried to touch her again. “I never knew you felt that way. I’m sorry, Mama. I love Marie, and I wanted to do right by her. You know, set a good example.”

She whirled back to face him. “Sweetie, you can’t live your life trying to compensate for your father’s mistakes.
He
messed up! You’re allowed to make some mistakes. That’s how people grow, Eric. You’ve put all this unnecessary pressure on yourself to be perfect.”

“What’s wrong with that? What’s wrong with holding myself to a higher standard?”

“Eric,
nobody’s
perfect!”

“You’re wrong. We’re
all
perfect, they just keep changing the standards.” He gave her a slow half smile.

Moments later, Raven couldn’t help returning his smile. He had thrown her own words back at her.

“Like, if Pierce was on point,” he threw a glance at the man standing near his mom, “he would’ve married you on the island. Then all this madness wouldn’t be about me.”

Pierce glared at him. “Boy, how are you going to play me like that?” he said through clenched teeth. “There’s more to love than your three-step program, Eric.”

“Three steps worked for my karate instructor and his wife,” Eric answered, his face stern and sure. “Deno and Liz were my age when they got married and were together fifty years before he died. Love works when people are friends.” Eric held out his hand to his wife. She moved closer. “Marie was my friend first. A
true
friend. She loved me before she even knew how much money I had in the bank. We can grow together, travel and—you know—do stuff. See the world, just like you wanted, Mom.”

Raven studied the young couple, then turned to Pierce who had put his arms around her. “You knew about this?”

He simply nodded.

“And you didn’t tell me?”

“He made me promise not to.”

She moved out of his embrace.

“Raven.”

“Not now, Pierce,” she snapped.

Eric’s bottom lip trembled as he held back tears. “I apologize for making it seem like I didn’t need you, Mom—I just didn’t want you to feel responsible for how things turned out. I’m scared that I might miss out on something.” Eric moved closer to his mother. “I know my decision not to have the surgery bothers you, but I don’t want to spend years trapped in a body, can’t talk, can’t walk, can’t do anything except have people take care of me. People doing diaper detail for a grown man is not pretty.”

“It wasn’t pretty when you were a baby, either,” Raven shot back, wrinkling her nose.

“See, we agree on something.”