The Pioneer Woman Cooks (5 page)

Seasoned salt: A much maligned salt and seasoning combination, seasoned salt is nothing to scoff at. It gives dishes a certain je ne sais quoi. Don’t be embarrassed; seasoned salt is cool.

Stainless slotted spoons: The most versatile cooking utensil there is. Stir the pot, remove fried okra from oil, and so on.

ABOUT THE RANCH

We’re a family ranching operation consisting of both cows and calves (mama cows and their calves) and yearlings (cattle between 500 and 800 pounds). Cattle have been the basis of the ranch since Marlboro Man’s great-grandfather bought his first steer; it’s what we do best.

In addition to our cattle operation, however, we also use our land to house and care for wild mustangs. The horses run free on the ranch and remain largely undisturbed except for the cold, winter months, when we provide hay and feed for their sustenance. After nearly one hundred years of cattle exclusively roaming the range, the land had to get used to the spirit and energy of these magnificent equine creatures.

A Family Ranch

As members of a working family ranch, we live and work on the land ourselves. We aren’t “weekend ranchers” who moonlight as attorneys or doctors or accountants or Hollywood actors (no offense to Tom Selleck. I think he actually might be a real rancher, too. Hi, Tom! Love your ‘stache).

The thing about a working family ranch is this: if there’s work to be done, we know it won’t get done if we don’t roll up our sleeves and do it ourselves. When it comes to rounding up and working cattle, we’ll take all the help we can get: kids, grandparents, cowboys, visiting relatives. No one gets a pass when it comes to ranch work.

STARTERS

BBQ JALAPEÑO POPPERS

Makes 36 Poppers

There are many different versions of these delightful pop-in-your-mouth jalapeños. My sister-in-law Missy makes a more basic version, stuffing jalapeño halves with plain cream cheese, wrapping them with bacon, and baking them slowly for half an hour or so. When she’s feeling particularly mischievous, Missy cooks them on the grill. Either way, they’re a real treat. Here’s my spin on the old classic.

IMPORTANT: Wear gloves when working with fresh jalapeños or you’ll curse the ground on which I walk because you’ll wake up in the middle of the night with throbbing fingertips. And that’s nothing compared to what happens if you accidentally scratch your eye—or worse, something else.

18 fresh jalapeñosOne 8-ounce package cream cheese½ cup grated cheddar cheese1 green onion, sliced18 slices thin bacon, cut into halvesBottled barbecue sauceToothpicksRubber gloves (or plastic bags) for working with jalapeños

1. Preheat the oven to 275ºF.

2. Begin by cutting jalapeños in half lengthwise (see warning in headnote). Try to keep the stems intact. They look prettier that way.

3. With a spoon, scrape out the seeds and light-colored membranes. Remember: The heat comes from the seeds and membranes, so if you can handle the sizzle, leave some of them intact.

4. Now, in a bowl, combine the cream cheese, cheddar cheese, and chopped green onion. Mix the ingredients together gently. And don’t feel you have to use an electric mixer. I do because I’m lazy and don’t like to exert myself. Ever.

(Too much scrubbing clothes on the washboard, I suppose.)

5. Next, stuff each hollowed jalapeño half with the cheese mixture.