The Perfect Man (3 page)

“No!” I turned away from Alex. “No, Luce, it’s okay. I’ll be fine. I’ll call you when I get home.”

“If you’re sure…” Lucy sounded anything but sure.

“I am,” I said firmly. We hung up after I promised again to call her once I got home, and I turned back to Alex. “Sorry about that.”

He didn’t smile. Or grin. The dead serious look in his eye spread to the rest of his face. “How far from here are you?”

I shrugged. “A few blocks. Five, six. Not that far. Lucy picked me up because she lives farther away, but I’ll be fine walking home.” I was kind of looking forward to it, actually. I loved walking in the snow, and I wouldn’t have to worry about cold, wet feet bothering me for the rest of the evening. I slipped the phone back in my pocket and reached for my cup, swallowing the rest of the cocoa.

Alex signaled for the check, then grabbed it as soon as it hit the table. “Um. I’m buying, remember?”

“Not anymore.” He tossed a couple of bills on top of the check and started bundling up, knotting a scarf around his neck. “Five or six blocks, huh?”

“About, yeah.” If he was going to walk me home, I wouldn’t argue. Even with the weather keeping a lot of people off the streets, there was always the chance some whacko would pop out of a snowdrift. I looped my scarf around my neck and pulled on my coat. “I can usually walk it in about ten, fifteen minutes.”

He grunted, zipped up his coat, and placed a hand at the small of my back, guiding me out of the cafe.

Then pointed me in the direction of the club we’d met at.

I tried to turn around, since my apartment was in the opposite direction, and he slid his hand around my waist and caught me. “My car’s parked in the lot behind the club,” he said quietly. “I can drop you.”

I focused on his mouth, watched it form words that went in one ear and out the other. He’d be a good kisser, I decided. He had the sort of confidence that came with knowledge, and I had no doubt he’d know what he was doing. If I stood here long enough, maybe I could work up the courage to find out if I was right.

“Hannah?”

All I had to do was lean in. He’d know what to do. I took a step forward and promptly ruined the moment by slipping on a patch of ice. He caught me at the waist, bring me flush against him. “You okay?”

Not in the least. “Fine,” I whispered.

He dipped his head, and his breath whispered over my lips. “I’m going to kiss you, Hannah. So no falling.” The beginnings of a smile were stunted as his mouth pressed against mine.

His mouth wasn’t soft. It wasn’t hard, either. It fell in that perfect in between, his lips cool, his tongue, when it darted out to trace over the seam of my lips, was warm. He coaxed me into it by increments, a touch here, a flutter there, and my lips parted to let him in. His tongue stroked over mine, slow, firm, making his demands seem more like requests.
Yes
, I’ll tilt my head that way, because it gives you better access.
Yes
, I’ll move in closer, because I need to feel you against me. He could ask me anything right now, in the space of this kiss, and my answer would be
yes
. Followed by
please may I have some more
.

I forgot about the snow, freezing my toes inside my boots and icing the skin over my cheeks. I forgot about seeing Jonah for the first time in over a year, and the hook up we’d clearly interrupted. I forgot about the miserable time I’d been having. I forgot that I didn’t know this man at all. There was nothing but Alex and his clever mouth, the heat we generated and the loose, languid desire coursing through my blood.

His lips grazed my cheekbones, first one then the other, before coming to rest against my forehead. He took a small step back, his exhalation shaky, and it was gratifying to know I wasn’t the only one with wobbly knees.

All from a single kiss.

“Wow.”

Wow
was the wrong word for that.
Incredible, stunning, fantastic
. His reaction gave me the courage I needed, and I stretched up and brushed my mouth over his. I went back again, and again, sinking in a little deeper each time. Our mouths fit together and moved like we were the missing half of the other, each minute change anticipated and integrated into the whole. Noses bumping, tongues stroking, he tasted spicy and a little sweet.

He broke the kiss, tongue flicking out over my lips. “You taste like chocolate,” he murmured hoarsely. “Trying to tempt me, Hannah?”

I tipped my head back, wishing I could smile and too shaken to do so. “Do you want to be tempted?”

His dark eyes searched mine. “If you have to ask, I’m doing something wrong.” Again the dead serious look, and this time, it shook me almost as much as the kiss had.

I didn’t believe in soul mates. I didn’t believe in love at first sight. But it was hard to deny this instant, almost elemental connection. It was more than lust. If it was only desire, only heat and sweat and sweet caresses in the dark, there wouldn’t be any shaking going on. There would be no caring in his kiss, no urgent need to find out not only what he was hiding under his clothes, but what his deepest secrets were.

Here, in the snow, in the cold, I wanted to know everything about him, and I wanted it
now
.

“What’s one thing you’ve always wanted to do but haven’t done yet?” I asked impulsively.

He blinked away the snowflakes settling on his lashes. “Hum.” His mouth thinned as he thought, and his arms tightened around me, bringing me in under his chin. “Drive the Autobahn. I’d get myself a Beemer and just open her up, see how fast and far I could go.” His arms shifted so one was across my back, holding in more heat. “You?”

“Dance in the snow.” The romantic in me, buried under years of Jonah never quite figuring out what I wanted, longed for silly gestures. To be fair, he’d tried, and sometimes he’d succeed. I never asked for flowers, but he brought them by at odd times. Or when I mentioned I was out of my favorite hot cocoa mix and couldn’t find it at any of the nearby grocery stores, he showed up with an entire packing box of it. But those were rare occasions. I always wanted more, and I didn’t want to content myself with the crumbs I was tossed.

A car rolled past, tires silent on the snow, and we eased apart. “Dancing? You’ll have to explain this one to me. Not here,” he added, pressing a gloved finger to my lips. “In my car. Where there’s a heater.”

Hands in pockets, we headed up the block to the club, skirting around the side to the lot in the back, picking our way around newly formed snowdrifts. The flakes were starting to thin out, though, and the plows would probably come out soon.

We climbed into Alex’s car, and my feet thanked me profusely. I’d gotten out of the habit of standing around for long periods of time in heels since I started working from home, and my feet were reminding me of that fact.

He turned the heaters on full blast, the sound loud over the rumble of the engine. “So. Snow dancing? Is that like a rain dance?”

Heat washed over my cheeks. “No.” I kept my eyes on my lap. “I just…always thought it would be romantic, slow dancing in the snow, with the snowflakes. All that quiet, all that white.” I darted a glance at him, heart thudding with anticipation. “Silly, because you’d be freezing, and no one thinks romance when they’re cold.”

“True,” he said, and disappointment trickled in. It
was
silly. I also hoped that maybe I’d get to cross it off my list tonight. It seemed so little to ask. But it was below freezing outside, and he probably wanted to get home in case the roads got worse, not better.

He put the car in gear. “Address?”

I gave it to him, and stared out the window. A number of businesses had decorated for Valentine’s Day, red and white garlands draped over entryways, hearts dotting windows. It had seemed so garish, earlier. It still did, but my heart squeezed at the sight of it, just the same.

I’d had a better evening than I thought possible. There’d been fun, intelligent conversation with someone who wasn’t a client, a friend, or a family member. There’d been laughter and a heady, sensuous promise of more. There’d been kisses. Actual kisses. Kisses that made me tremble. Kisses that reminded me I’d come a hell of a long way from the sad, withdrawn mess I’d been a year ago.

I directed him to the lot behind my building, and he parked in one of the two visitor spots. On the other side of the lot was a small park, complete with gazebo, and some enterprising soul had strung up fairy lights. I climbed out and studied the scene. Sweet. Sweet and sweetly romantic, the snow giving it a wonderland quality.

Alex came around the car and stood next to me, following my gaze. He looked down at me and grinned, then took my hand. “Come on.”

We crossed the few feet to the path, and I was careful to place my feet in the imprints left behind. The gazebo steps creaked under our weight, and he paused in the center, the fairy lights glinting off the snow. “Not freezing yet, are you?”

My heart thudded once, twice, then stuttered. “No,” I breathed.

Then I had to blink back tears as he pulled me into his arms and began to sway. No. No, nuh-uh,
no way
. I rested my head against his shoulder, unsure if this was real. The rough fabric tickled my cheek. I shut my eyes. If I wasn’t careful, I’d fall splat right in front of him and beg him to be mine. I needed to get a grip. Badly.

I forgot how to breathe when he started singing.

It took me a minute to recognize the song. “Put Your Lights On.” One of the slinkiest songs Santana recorded. Listening to Alex’s deep, rough voice rumble out the lyrics, my tears dried and everything inside me started to melt, need growing and pooling between my legs.

He didn’t stop until he’d sung the entire song. We lapsed into silence once more, save the occasional creak of the boards under our feet. My legs were slowly numbing with cold. I was afraid if I spoke, if I
moved
from this spot, I’d find myself alone, dancing with my imagination.

I didn’t want perfection. I wanted human.

“It’s not fair,” I said, the words muffled by his coat.

“What’s that?” He took a small step back, and the effect was a bucket of ice water. I was instantly cold.

“I can’t just fly you to Europe and get you a car.” I stuck my tongue out at him.

“Don’t suppose you can.” He flashed that charming smile at me, and I felt a little better.

We headed out of the park and across the lot to the back door of the building, the snow crunching underfoot with each step. Nerves flared to life the closer we got. Did I invite him in? Get his number and let him go?

I dug into my pocket for my keys, fingers trembling as I drew them out. I would
not
drop them in the snow. I would not. I managed to fit the key in the lock, then tugged off my gloves and pulled my phone from my pocket.

Then I stared at it. I couldn’t get the words past my lips.
So tonight was way more awesome than I thought it would be, do you want to do it again?
He would. He wouldn’t kiss me like that if he wasn’t going to come back for more.

Or maybe he wouldn’t. Maybe he just wanted to play the white knight for an evening.

I drew in an icy breath, the cold searing my lungs. “Um. So.” My hand shook, and I tightened my grip on the phone. I snuck a glance at him. “D’you…wanna come up?”

He pulled off his gloves and plucked my phone out of my hand, his thumbs flying over the surface. He handed it back and stuck his hands in his pockets, his gaze intense. “That’s a dangerous question, Hannah.”

“Why?” The word popped out of my mouth without warning.

His brows lowered, and he ducked his head, muttering incoherently.

“Alex?” I took a step forward.

And took several steps back as he crushed his mouth to mine, pushing me into the door.

This…

This was lust.

This was heat.

This was tangled limbs and bodies moving in an ancient synchronicity, the only music groans and cries for faster harder
fuck me now
.

His mouth moved with a vicious fury, demanding everything. His tongue swept in and commanded, long, firm strokes meant to make me imagine what it would be like to have him between my thighs. I may have pleaded for more. I
know
I whimpered. Then he sucked my tongue into his mouth and I moaned.

He had my dress rucked up, his thigh pressed between my legs, his hands gripping my hips and urging me on. On and on and
on
, shoving me closer to an edge I couldn’t wait to fall over.

And just as quickly as it started, it stopped. He took my hand and brought it between our bodies, covering his arousal. Through the haze of desire hanging over my head, surprise—and a little panic—sliced through. I didn’t do this, ask men in after knowing them for mere hours. I wasn’t cut out for it. This wasn’t
me
, and if I’d learned anything in the last year, it was to stay true to myself.

I really, really wanted to be someone else right now.

“That,” he said roughly, choking when I squeezed. “Been half-hard most of the evening, ever since you told me about your tattoos. I would give
anything
to take you upstairs and uncover every single one of them.”

With shaking hands, he set me away from him, his eyes dark with lust and something like guilt. “You deserve to be pursued. I wish I could chase you, Hannah.” He bent forward and kissed my cheek. “Good night,” he said softly.

Horny, confused, hurt, I watched him walk back to his car. The cold did a marvelous job of cooling me off, though it did nothing for the hurt. He’d been
right there
with me the entire time. The way he’d walked away had me questioning why he’d bothered giving me his number at all.

I trudged upstairs to my apartment. The building was small, three floors, six units, and I was on the top floor. I made enough now I could have afforded a small house, but I loved the charm of the place. Laziness had a lot to do with it, too. If I bought a house, I had to handle repairs myself. I rent, I had a landlord I could call.

Lucien and Remy, my kittens, squeaked when I slipped inside my apartment. “Yeah, yeah,” I grumbled. It was their nightly play time, and they scampered over, biting at my ankles. I nudged them away and they abandoned me for the built-in bookcase next to the fireplace, something they’d scaled just last week. It was their newest favorite place to perch, and they loved throwing themselves off the top.