The Path (Fire on the Mountain Series) (18 page)

“I apologize for trying to get in too much, but I blame all of you for it,” I responded. “You are too interesting and too interested.”

“We would like to hear more,” Mary spoke up.

“I would like to add one more thought about what we’ve been discussing,” I continued. “The church drifted from its course for most of the church age. This began when God’s people started worshiping the temple of the Lord more than the Lord of the temple. Some started worshiping individual truths more than the Truth Himself. All of this led to a great shipwreck from which we are still recovering. Regardless of what kind of church we are a part of, we will suffer shipwreck if we start esteeming our group, our church, as more important than others who are different from us.

“Jen, remember our little discussion about how most news stories are not normal life, but rather the exception? You are now living in the exception. You are making the news every day in heaven. This is the path to the high calling of God in Christ. Even so, we cannot think of ourselves as better or more important than others, but as servants of those who may not have had our experience. If we don’t do this, we too will stumble and drift from our course. We are being prepared to go back and get many others and bring them to this path. We will not be able to do this if they sense arrogance in us.

“The best way we can help those who are trapped in something less than what we are now experiencing is to get to the mountain and help build the highway that the rest can travel on. When you go back to them you will go back with authority. You will represent a higher reality, another realm. Many will see it and will come.

“You are just the beginning of a great harvest, the greatest there has ever been. However, the fastest way for us to depart from the highway that is being built to prepare the way for the Lord is to become proud of the grace we have been given.”

CHAPTER ELEVEN

THE REASON

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You often use the term ‘true church.’ Does this imply that there is a false church?” William asked.

“There is a true and a false church, both of which are prophesied in the Scriptures, and both of which we have all around us,” I answered. “There is true and false with almost everything: true and false apostles, true and false prophets. We are even warned about ‘false brethren.’ The wheat and tares are mixed together now and will not be separated until the end. Learning to distinguish between the wheat and the tares is part of our curriculum. Learning to discern between the true and the false church is part of our curriculum.”

“How do we distinguish the true church from the false?” William asked.

“You could answer your own question. You have already chosen, and you followed the true. There are not many who can make this distinction now, or there would be more who are on this path,” I replied.

“It seemed that yesterday you were implying that all churches and institutions could be on-ramps to this path and to the mountain of the Lord. I am a bit confused,” William said.

“This is true. The false church now has many of the true sojourners in it. Right now they are like David serving the house of Saul. They will be persecuted and driven out, but this experience will be one of the primary events of their life to help prepare them for what they are called to do.

“At the present time, the false church is more mature in being what makes it false than the true church is in what it is called to be. The leadership of what is about to come is still immature like David was when he began to serve in the house of Saul. Because the true is still immature it is hard to distinguish it now, but you will find it in places like you did with this Society of Bonheoffer. Even so, the wheat and tares look alike until both have matured. Only then will the difference really be seen.

“Let me share with you a couple of other distinctions between the true and false. The main purpose of the true church is to be the temple of the Lord, so the main thing that we should look for in the church is the presence of the Lord. When the Lord is in His temple it does not matter what the temple looks like. If the Lord is in it even the most glorious temple will not be what attracts your attention. If the temple is receiving all of the attention then it can only be because the Lord is not in it. The way we find the true church is not by looking for the church, but by looking for the Lord.

“The Lord will bless many things He will not inhabit. The mature have learned to look beyond just what He may be blessing to what He is inhabiting. It is one thing to be in a congregation where there is good teaching, worship, and ministry, but it is something else when you feel the Lord moving among people, and where He is the true focus of attention.

“Many worship the things of God instead of the God of all things. Some worship His truths more than Him. Some even worship, worship. This is sometimes just immaturity, but there is a difference when the teaching, preaching, worship, and ministry all come out of His presence.

“Likewise, if my ministry is getting more attention than the Lord is, I should be concerned that I have departed from my main purpose. I have learned the vanity of just trying to build a ministry or influence, even when it is for good reasons. When we mature we will want to help prepare the way for the Lord by helping to prepare His people for Him. If I am only increasing people’s attention on me I am failing in my most important mission.”

“I can see what you’re saying,” William responded. “Elijah is an example of what you’re talking about. If I had imagined what he would look like I’m sure I would have thought he would be more impressive than he is. You can tell that he is never trying to draw attention to himself, but he would rather hide than be seen. When he appears it is only to help us along this path. You identify with that, don’t you?” William asked.

“I guess I do,” I replied. “I do not feel comfortable being the focus of attention. I would much rather lead in a hidden way, by helping to steer people toward their destiny rather than being out in front, even with a small group like this.”

“Why is that?” William probed.

“I don’t really know. This kind of leadership is a burden to me. I am doing this out of obedience, but it’s not comfortable.”

“If you don’t mind, I’d like to talk more about your leadership. I know the leadership in the kingdom is supposed to be different, but you are more different than I was expecting. Do you mind if I ask you some personal questions, just for my own instruction?”

“No. I’m glad to answer them, if they will be helpful for you, but I would not hold myself up as a great example of kingdom leadership.”

“Is your discomfort with leadership because you don’t feel adequate for the leadership you have been called to?” William asked.

“I like your direct style. My answer to your question is that feeling inadequate could be a reason why I don’t feel comfortable in this role, but I don’t think that is it. I was told that feeling inadequate is a good thing and that if I ever started feeling adequate then I would be dangerous, so I’ve accepted that,” I replied.

“At first, I interpreted your lack of comfort in your position as you not wanting to be with us or that you were just burdened by us,” William commented. “I think that some of the group may feel that way, except those you spent so much time talking with yesterday. That was very helpful for them, not just by what you said, but your being so willing to talk with them.”

“I’m sorry that any would feel that I don’t want to be with them. That is really the opposite of what I feel. The more I have gotten to know everyone in this group, the more interesting you have all become. I am thoroughly enjoying you and the rest of them. Trust me, it is far more enjoyable going through this wilderness with you than it was going alone.

“I know, at times, I can be a clumsy person socially. I take a bit of comfort in the fact that Elijah seems to be even more so, but that too could be the secret of his power. He has learned to lean on the Lord, putting all of his trust in Him. I want to do the same. Being in leadership makes me lean on Him more than anything else I know. So I do embrace it even if I don’t feel comfortable with it.

“I have learned to embrace feeling inadequate because I know it is actually the result of being inadequate. No person is capable of doing what they are called to do without God’s help. That is why we were given the Helper. Feeling constantly inadequate makes you learn to lean on and trust in the Lord, to constantly seek Him. I embrace this as an opportunity, but I still don’t enjoy being in leadership.”

“So you never wanted to be a leader?”

“I think I did want to be a leader when I was young. I remember imagining what it would be like, and what I would be like as a leader. When it became a reality I was not nearly as good in reality as I was in my imagination. As a leader your successes are multiplied, but so are your failures. I have had some obvious successes, but I have also had some glaring failures in leadership. Some failures can make you lose faith, but that only proves it was a false faith in ourselves instead of faith in God.”

“So to you, leadership is a burden?”

“Yes, but don’t misunderstand me, I know it is the greatest honor and privilege we can have to be a leader of God’s people. I am very thankful for this opportunity, but at the same time, I don’t think I am very good at it.

“I have been a captain of thousands, and now it seems like I have been demoted back to being a captain of tens, given the job of leading a few dozen of you through this part of the wilderness. I’m good with that. I think these few dozen people on this path could have a bigger impact than the thousands I was leading before, so I know I have really been given a promotion.

“But as for leadership, I have been in some form of leadership almost my entire adult life, and I have never been more uncomfortable with it than I am now. It is a cross for me and I do, at times, long for a situation where I can just follow someone else. Right now that is not my part, so I want to be as faithful as I can with this.”

“You said that you feel clumsy at times in personal relationships. That’s the root of shyness, but I don’t think your discomfort is the typical lack of self-confidence,” William observed. “I think some of it is having been a captain of thousands and now being with a small group again. I’ve observed that those who are comfortable speaking to large audiences are often shy in small groups. Those who may be uncomfortable speaking to large groups can be comfortable in small groups. It’s a different gift.”

“I know that’s true. I am very comfortable speaking to large groups, and feel awkward with small groups, but I enjoy the small groups much more even if I feel more uncomfortable with them.”

“I’ve also observed you with Elijah. When we learned who he was, we were all quite intimidated, except for maybe Mary. Even Mark was a bit intimidating to us when we saw his gift. But you seemed to feel quite comfortable even with Elijah,” William continued. “As much as I have been around powerful people I must admit that I still have a fear of them.”

“I’ve known many of the successful and powerful in many fields so I’m used to being around high-impact people, but I think something else helped me even more not to fear people. I have seen the King, and it’s hard to be impressed by anyone when you have seen Him,” I responded.

“I think you are humble. I think you’re humble in a good way that keeps you seeking the Lord and dependent on Him,” William continued.

“I hope you’re right. How can anyone see the King and not be humbled? I have wondered if my lack of fear of others was just arrogance, and I do see a lot of arrogance in my life so I don’t want to rule that out. But I sincerely desire to have the kind of humility that God will give His grace to. I know I need His grace, and I think it was His grace that has allowed me to see Him as much as I have.

“It is a great advantage to have seen the glory of the Lord. How could I ever think too highly of myself or want to have people’s attention on me after I’ve seen Him? In the presence of the Lamb even the twenty-four elders cast their crowns at His feet. Who could presume to be worthy of glory or attention in His presence? Who could presume leadership in the presence of the King of kings? In His presence there will not be presumption.

“I’ve also seen the great ones on the mountain. I’ve studied the great ones in history and in Scripture. We have a long way to go yet to measure up to those who have gone before us, but soon some of the greatest of all will emerge in the full maturity of all those who have gone before them. Some of these in this little band might be the ones.”