The Pastor's Other Woman (6 page)

“So, what brings you by this late, son?” He wanted to know.

I took a deep breath and exhaled before I began to let my father in on my feelings.

“Pop, I’m in love,” I said, not sure if I wanted to look him in his face because what I was about to say would surely be frowned upon.

“Oh yeah,” was all he said, taking his glasses off and sitting back in his high back chair.

“Yeah, but I know it will never work.”

“Why is that?” he asked.

“She’s married and already has children,” I said.

I thought I would be ashamed once I said it out loud, but surprisingly, I wasn’t. It actually felt good and like a weight was taken off of my shoulder.

“Does she now?”

He was starting to frustrate me. I just wanted him to go ahead and tell me something to help me understand all that I was feeling.

“Dad, I don’t know what to do,” I said, getting up and walking to the back of the room.

“Have you told Jewel how you feel yet?” He asked, causing me to spin around so fast I almost fell.

“Wait. How do you know that’s who I’m talking about?”

I couldn’t remember a time where I had done anything inappropriate around or to her, so I was lost at how he knew.

“Your eyes,” was his simple response. I’m sure the confusion was displayed all over the place, but I couldn’t help it. I was dumfounded. “You know how everyone says that we look so much alike?”

I simply nodded my head and wondered what that had to do with anything. He must have known that’s what I was thinking because he started to explain himself.

“I remember the first weekend you came home after going off to college, and you told us that you think your found your wife,” he said, bringing back the memory. I didn’t realize I was smiling at the thought until he said, “That same smile you have right now is the same one you had when you told us about her and the same look I had when I met your mother. When I set eyes on my good thing I knew she was the one. That’s how your mother and I knew Jewel was the one for you.”

“Mom knows?”

“Of course. She’s always wanted the two of you together.”

“But she’s married, and that goes against God,” I said to him.

“Has that stopped you before?” My mother said, coming into the room and startling me.

She kissed me on my head and went over to sit on my father’s lap. There was that look that he was talking about. It’s crazy because that’s the same way that I admired Jewel but from a distance. But I didn’t know what she was getting at. I knew personally what she meant, but I had no clue how she found out. I had been so careful.

“Ma, what do you mean has that stopped me before?”

God knows I prayed for forgiveness. She dropped her head to the side like that dude Foxy who waits for people at “da doe”.

“Just what I said. It hasn’t stopped you before, so why are you letting it stop you now when clearly this is meant to be?”

“I’m still lost.”

“Baby, Ray Charles, Stevie Wonder and the Three Blind Mice can all see that Kammy is your daughter. You, Jewel, and Andrew seem to be the only ones that don’t see it. Or maybe you all are in denial,” she said, bursting my bubble.

It never crossed my mind that anyone would see the resemblance between me and Kam. The whole nine months Jewel carried her I was a nervous wreck. I didn’t know if she was going to look just like me or if she would look like Drew. I just knew that we couldn’t hold that secret for long, but once she entered the world and I saw how Drew seemed to fall in love with my daughter, I backed off.

Maybe that was the reason that I couldn’t hold in what Drew was doing behind her back. I wanted to be able to raise my daughter and be with the woman I loved.

“Baby, listen,” my mother said, coming over to sit beside me as she took my hand in hers. “You can’t help who it is that you fall in love with, and although you and Jewel made a mistake, I’m pretty sure the both of you have repented and asked God for forgiveness. He has already done that. Now it’s time for you to move forward. Jewel doesn’t deserve to be treated the way that she is and neither do those girls, but now, it’s time for you to help pick up the pieces and mend their broken hearts.

I’m not saying go over there right now and woo her and jump in her bed once again, but what I’m saying is be there for that woman. You know that news travels mighty fast around here, so I already know what happened at that church earlier. The last thing she needs is to feel that you are just there because you pity her, but I honestly feel like she married the wrong man, and he took advantage of her already brokenness and used it to his advantage. Remember though, that God still sits high and looks low so you better believe Drew will get what’s coming to him.

She needs you, son. Just pray and ask God to guide you during this time. There may be a piece of paper that says she is married to Drew, but that is the only thing that connects them. You are connected to her heart and her spirit.” And with that, she stood up and kissed me on my cheek.

“Thanks Ma and Pops. I love you.”

“I love you too, baby. Now get out. Your father and I have things to tend to, if you know what I mean,” she said, winking at my dad.

“Eeww, y’all nasty.”

“Yep. Just the way I like it,” my dad said, standing and moving towards my mother.

“I’m out!” I said, moving as fast as I could to the front door as they laughed.

Chapter Twelve

Jewel

All I could do was sit in our driveway and cry for hours and hours. Not one of those ugly cries that women do when the pain is fresh and unexpected. I mean one of those silent cries. The ones where your mind couldn’t process the betrayal or hurt that was so deep in your being. The one that you cried when you already expected the pain to hit but didn’t know that it could hurt as bad as it did. Where the only two functions that your body could remember to do was to breathe and let the tears fall. You feel nothing but emptiness and just wanting out. Wanting out of the emotional bondage but feeling like in some crazy way you needed that bondage in order to survive.

When you didn’t want to hear someone say, “God is still in control. Just let Him have His way.”

Instead, you wanted to hear them tell you that it was ok to be mad at God because He let this happen. And scream and curse everybody out who told you that everything would be just fine.

Everything would not be just fine. The man that I gave my heart and innocence to had gone back on the promises he made to me in front of God and our loved ones. He had something that no other man had ever gotten. Something so precious that should have been handled with care, but instead was thrown away like last week’s garbage.

As selfish as it sounded, I just wanted God to take me away from this misery and this hell I was living on earth. At this very moment, I understood why people gave up when everything they worked so hard for came crashing down around them. I was broken, and my being couldn’t take any more of the disappointments.

I had sat in this car so long that it was now dark outside. Avery kept peeking her head out of the door and window every thirty minutes or so checking on me. I could only imagine what was going through my children’s minds right now, but I didn’t have anything comforting to say to them. It may have been selfish of me, but I honestly couldn’t form any reasonable explanation to give them nor did I want to.

Looking over at the fluorescent numbers on my radio display showed me that I had been sitting in my car for the last four hours, and I didn’t plan on getting out anytime soon. I honestly wanted to drive until my eyes got heavy and sleep consumed me and then death took over, but I knew that would be unfair to the girls. Their father had already taken so much from them, and I wasn’t going to add to that. I had to find a way to get past this so that I could be there for them. They were really all that I had left and the only positive outcome to this madness.

I sat back and thought about when I placed that call to the hotel a few days ago and found out that my husband had canceled his reservations, unlike the lie he told me about it being sold out. Digging further into things, I discovered he wasn’t in Charlotte like he told us, but he was actually in Atlanta. The Facebook posts that he was making and checking in at were just to throw me off, but it wouldn’t be for long. I may have been quiet and had issues with my physical appearance, but I was as smart as they come.

Never did I think I would have to go snooping behind my husband, but in the event that I did, there was nothing that man could hide from me, on paper that is. Drew was definitely clever because, although I found out about the other women, and even Constance, I never once knew about Jewel. He covered his tracks very well with that one.

Something told me a long time ago I shouldn’t trust Jewel, but I put my heart before what I felt in my spirit. Being in a new area away from family and already having a hard time adjusting, I just wanted to enjoy the college experience with a true friend. So I put all of the negative thoughts about her being a “wolf in sheep’s clothing” out of my mind. God had given me signs time after time about her, but I always blocked them out. That’s something so many people do when they know in their hearts that He is trying to lead us right, but our flesh a lot of times wants what the flesh wants and we choose to ignore it. To think of how much heartache I could have prevented for myself and our daughters if I had just completely surrendered myself to what I was hearing.

Our
daughters,
I thought to myself, but before I could dwell on that too long, I looked up to see a car pulling up beside me in Drew’s space in the driveway. I knew it wasn’t him before I could even see the car clearly. When I heard how he called Constance his “babe” and how he looked at her so lovingly that was the defining moment in our marriage that it was over. I felt and saw the love he had for her, and even after almost twenty years together, I had never felt that from him. God knows I yearned for it, and I stayed praying he would give it to me, but it never came. Well, not from him anyway.

I watched as Bryce got out of his car and stood there looking at me through the window. The look on his face let me know that he had been crying, and his heart was hurting for me. No words were spoken as I hit the unlock button and he reached his hand out to open my door. Neither of us moved nor did we break the intense gaze between us. The way this man looked at me was the same way that I desired the man that I had married to look at me. The power and intensity seemed to transfer from him to me, and there was no denying the presence of God that was resonating between us.

Without a single word, he just opened his arms, and at the same time, a tear made its way down his right cheek. Before I could really process what was happening, I ended up in his arms releasing every ounce of pain, hurt and neglect that I had been holding on to all of these years. Feeling like I was in a safe place, I finally cried my ugly cry.

Chapter Thirteen

Jasmine

I couldn’t believe this was happening as I sat on the bed in my hotel room. All of these years Drew had been playing me and making me think that it was all about me and our son, but it was all lies. I should have figured out after the first few years something wasn’t right, but I let my heart lead me instead of listening to my grandmother when she kept saying to me the same way you get a man is the same way that you could lose him. But I was hardhead and wanted what I wanted.

Looking over at my three year old son, I thought back to when I first told Drew I was pregnant with DJ. This wasn’t my first pregnancy by him, but this was definitely the one I was going to keep. I was tired of killing all of my babies for this man just because he kept telling me to wait until he moved on from Jewel. We had been together for over ten years by then, and I wanted to have a family with him. What I didn’t expect was that he had another family that neither Jewel nor I knew about.

True, Jewel had the right to be hurt because she was the one that he actually married, but I had a right too because I was with him first. If anyone should have been on top it was me. I held him down like no other, and if it wasn’t for me he would have never known about the inheritance. Andrew Webber owed me my part of the money, and bright and early I was going to be at that meeting he thought I didn’t know anything about. He thought that he was so slick and that he could trust me not to snoop through his stuff, but what he didn’t realize that no matter how loyal a woman was to her man there was always something to let her know when something wasn’t right, and we would go digging.

Before he had come to visit this last time, I knew that it was now or never that I found out all that I could. Each time I brought the subject up previously about how much we were getting, he would change the subject like I was stupid. It had to be a grip because he was too hush hush for me now days. In the beginning, he was very open about what was going on and even told me the things he needed me to do on my end. This was all supposed to benefit not just him but our family that he wanted to be with. Nothing but lies, and I fell for it hook, line and sinker.

I should have known things were off when he didn’t leave at the five year mark like he initially planned. Something about it not looking right if he left right after they received the money, but that was all another lie. During my search in his email, I found the documents that stated he had to remain married to Jewel, have children and be in the lead pastor position at her family’s church for ten years. After the tenth year Pastor’s Anniversary ceremony, they were to inherit a cool twenty million dollars. He was constantly telling me that he only had to be there only a little while and we would be set, but he knew all along that wasn’t the case.

It finally hit me that he was planning on leaving with all of that money and living with his other family. He was not about to walk off into the sunset with another woman and kids along with all of that money.

My son and I were going to be set weather he liked it or not, or like my boy Plies said, “It’s goin’ down tonight ‘cause these goons out lurkin’!”