The Paradise Will (14 page)
‘Letty—’ Alyssa began to protest faintly, but it was too late: Letty departed and a moment later, Sir Giles came in.
He found Alyssa sitting on the sofa, dressed in blue and white muslin, her hair loosely confined and a fine silk shawl draped about her shoulders. On seeing her – pale and weak, but otherwise apparently well – a rush of emotion swept through him. Gil knew now she was essential to his soul, to him finding any joy in the world, and he yearned to tell her so when the moment was right.
Fighting the urge to rain kisses on those upturned wan features, he stood simply watching her before saying in voice which wavered slightly, ‘Miss Paradise, you cannot know how glad I am to see you, and find you well enough to leave your room.’ He reached her in quick strides and lifted her hand to his lips, kissing it and whispering with a crooked smile, ‘I have been so worried.’
To Alyssa’s astonishment, her eyes filled with sudden tears at his greeting and the manner of it, and she began to cry. ‘Oh! Forgive me!’ she said, a few moments later. Trying to dry her tears with a handkerchief, she gulped and continued
haltingly
, ‘I-Indeed, I-I do not even know w-
why
I am crying.’
‘My poor child, you must be exhausted,’ said Gil, sitting down and taking her hands firmly between his. He ached to gather her into his arms but there were too many issues to be addressed first and he cursed inwardly that their situation was so complicated. He was also afraid of ruining everything with one clumsy inappropriate action now. But if he could not comfort her properly, perhaps he could divert her; Gil longed to see Alyssa smile again. Raising his brows, he said, eyes gleaming mischievously, ‘Are you tearful because you have been deprived of our tête-à-tête discussions? There is no need – you will have further opportunity to marvel at my fascinating erudite conversation!’
‘Wretch!’ she replied, before rewarding him with a smile and an enchanting dimple. She sniffed, wiped away the last of her tears and said, ‘I-I believe I have missed teasing you, Sir Giles, someone must keep you in check.’
‘I rely on you to curb my worst excesses.’
Alyssa, feeling suddenly a little shy, gently removed her hand from his grasp. ‘I hope I’ll be well enough to recommence our dinners soon. Indeed, I am already much better, just more tired than usual.’
‘I’ll visit every day while you recuperate. Mr Bartley advises our dinners can begin again when you are well. Will you come to Eastcombe then? In addition to dinner and showing you a little of my estate, I can introduce my sister and her husband.’
‘Yes, I’d like that. I must thank you for the fruit and roses, Sir Giles. The
flowers
were particularly beautiful, and Letty tells me they came from your rose garden. May I see it when I visit?’
‘With pleasure,’ he said.
The accompanying smile lit up his features and made Alyssa feel weaker than ever. ‘But won’t Miss Nash object?’ she asked softly.
‘Your visit is no concern of Caroline’s.’ Seeing her consternation, he sighed. ‘Miss Paradise, there is much I want to say yet I hardly know how, or where, to begin. However, I do know now is not the right occasion, but could I extract a promise from you? It is wrong of me; indeed, most likely you will think it an extraordinary request, but even so, I must ask.’
‘What is it?’
He smiled down into her questioning gaze and murmured, ‘Simply that you make no plans about your future until you are fully recovered.’
There was silence. Alyssa eventually replied, ‘Very well, making any decision at present would be foolish so it is not a difficult pledge to make.’ She felt her cheeks growing warm under his mesmerizing scrutiny.
‘Thank you for indulging me,’ he said, relieved. ‘When is Mr Brook expected?’
‘Charles’s business keeps him in London.’
‘His business affairs are more important than your health?’ he cried, incredulous.
She did not reply directly, but observed, ‘He writes he will travel here when the danger has passed.’
‘I’ll renew my acquaintance with Mr Brook when he deems it safe to venture back,’ he said, his lip curling in derision. ‘Rest assured I am dealing with Ennis and you need have no concerns about the estate.’
‘Have the workers been informed of the increase?’
‘Yes, shortly after you were taken ill. The reaction has been generally positive I understand, although your cousin informs me Draper still complains the amount is insufficient. You know Mr Kilworth suggested he stay in contact with the labourers?’
She nodded. ‘Letty told me. It is strange – Piers has never shown interest in such matters before.’
‘I did wonder why he was so specific.’ A frown creased his brow. ‘I don’t wish to criticize your relative – in fact, I approve of him in some ways – but Tom’s opinions of his nephew were mixed and I cannot feel quite comfortable. Do you think he might have ulterior motives?’
‘Knowing Piers, quite possibly, although I cannot conceive what they might be,’ admitted Alyssa.
‘Then would it be wise for me to keep a discreet watch?’
‘I would feel happier if you did, Sir Giles. He is not experienced and Draper may be capable of more mischief than Piers can deal with easily.’
He nodded. ‘Then I’ll make the necessary arrangements. It would not be politic to make your cousin aware of my involvement though: if he has no other motive, he may take my interference as a slur on his ability. And while it may be unconnected, Ennis informed me of several recent incidents: a broken window in one of the cottages, sheep going missing, gates left open – nothing serious. A hayrick and a nearby abandoned outbuilding were also set on fire yesterday. Fortunately, the blaze was soon extinguished and there was no great damage done.’
‘Set on fire!’ echoed Alyssa faintly, looking up in surprise, ‘But surely this is alarming news?’
‘There is no evidence it was deliberate,’ he replied soothingly. ‘It could have been caused by a careless labourer or someone using the building for shelter. I only informed you now because you would be annoyed at hearing it later from another source.’
‘How well you know me already,’ she said, with a little laugh.
‘And I want to know more,’ he murmured. ‘I hope you will be able to enjoy a few summer events. The Nashes’ evening party approaches, of course – I
understand
you are invited?’
‘Yes. We will go, even though Miss Nash and her mother are not the most emollient of people.’
‘No,’ he acknowledged, ‘but I’ll be there, and Squire Nash is a pleasant,
easygoing
man who looks forward to meeting you. Mrs Nash will be busy ensuring everything runs smoothly so she can bask for another year in having organized the highlight of the social calendar. Caroline’ – he hesitated, before saying in a constrained voice – ‘Caroline will have other matters on her mind then.’
‘Miss Nash sent a note and enclosed some embroidery silks.’ Alyssa gave a wry smile, and added, ‘She made sure to mention it was her
second-best
thread.’
‘As ever, Caroline is high-handed,’ he muttered.
‘I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have mentioned it.’
‘Not at all: I’m well aware of her flaws.’
Alyssa suddenly felt emotionally drained and, foolishly, close to tears again. Irritated at her weakness in body and spirit, she fervently hoped Miss Nash would not visit in the near future; Alyssa knew she was in no condition to stand up to her supercilious manner, and any reminder of her connection with Sir Giles seemed too much to bear at present. With her mind still sluggish from the fever, Alyssa could not think clearly. She wondered vaguely at the promise he had extracted from her but, afraid of reading too much into every look, gesture and word he offered, she gave up the unequal fight to make sense of it all and heaved an exasperated sigh.
Hearing this, Gil rose to his feet and said firmly, ‘I’ve stayed too long. You need to rest and the doctor, I know, has asked you not to over exert yourself for a few days.’ He pressed her hand once more to his lips. ‘I’ll return tomorrow,’ he murmured and, with a brief bow, he was gone.
Alyssa leant her head back against the cushions. Notwithstanding the gamut of emotions in her breast, she felt relaxed, and minutes later, closed her eyes and drifted into a deep, untroubled sleep – the most refreshing she had enjoyed since her illness began.
It was almost a week before Alyssa managed to speak to her cousin alone. Now she felt stronger, she wanted to question Piers and the opportunity presented itself one morning when, having enjoyed an earlier visit from Sir Giles, Alyssa was humming happily over her needlework.
‘Good morning, Coz,’ said Piers breezily, coming in and taking the chair opposite, ‘You look well. Where is Miss Ravenhill?’
‘Letty has gone to change into her riding habit and will be down shortly.’ She set aside her work and threw him a measuring glance. ‘I’m glad you are early: I want to talk to you.’
‘Oh? As a matter of fact, there’s something I want to discuss with you.’
‘Then I’ll begin – how are the labourers, Piers?’
‘I’ve explained why the wage rise cannot be more and have had some success. Of course, you can do no wrong in the Fletchers’ eyes after sending the doctor to Samuel, but the consensus amongst the others is that it is a good start.’
‘And Draper?’
‘Still simmering with discontent. He says you could afford more if you chose.’
‘I see. Then perhaps I should dismiss him; there are plenty willing to take his place.’
‘It would be a pity,’ said Piers, with a shrug. ‘He has a wife and three children to support and he’s a good worker.’ During Alyssa’s illness, he had continued to encourage Draper to do his bidding and Piers had paid for both his deeds, and his silence. He therefore saw no need to remove the fellow from Hawkscote. True, he disliked the man – Draper was a ruffian – but he had done was asked of him without query which was all that was of interest to Piers. ‘Have you heard about the fire?’ he prompted.
‘Yes. Sir Giles told me of it, and the other incidents. He said it could be an
accident
.’
‘It was no accident.’ In fact, it had been carried out at Piers’s behest.
‘Oh?’ said Alyssa, ‘Why do you say that?’
‘Because I dealt with the culprit first thing this morning.’
Startled, she asked urgently, ‘But who was to blame?’
‘An unemployed aggrieved labourer, intent on causing trouble for any landowner. He just happened to choose Hawkscote.’
‘I never considered anyone would resort to such methods just to make a point,’ she said, surprised. ‘Did you catch them in the act?’
‘Not exactly – Draper did.’
‘Draper!
Then he is to be congratulated, in spite of his discontent. We should inform the authorities.’
‘I think not,’ answered Piers, blithely. ‘The man responsible is destitute as it is and, having received a severe reprimand from me, has gone on his way. There is nothing further to concern you; I handled the whole affair perfectly well. You see, Alyssa, you
do
need my assistance. I managed the situation better than you could have alone, and it was fortunate I was here to deal with it. I am firmly of the opinion Hawkscote needs a man in charge – people take advantage of a woman.’
‘They will find I’m as fair and firm an employer as any man, and am no green girl to be duped in business!’ she exclaimed, with asperity.
‘But if you had someone to help you, they would not even attempt it.’
Puzzled, she queried, ‘But I already have Ennis, and Sir Giles’s advice.’
‘No, I mean a true
partner
.’ He rose to his feet, thrust one hand into his pocket and strode to the fireplace in the hope physical action might make the task ahead easier. Why was it proving so damned difficult? Deep in Piers’s soul, something nagged that he was making a terrible mistake.
‘You think I should sell part of Hawkscote?’
‘No, not sell.’
‘Piers, you are being deliberately obtuse. Come to the point.’
He cleared his throat and, choosing his words carefully, turned towards her. ‘Very well. I’ve been thinking for some time and especially during your illness that you need assistance – running the estate is too onerous for you alone.
I
could help you, Coz! Haven’t I proved by dealing with these incidents, I should be working alongside you? You need someone to share the burden
every day,
Alyssa – let me be your partner!’
She blinked in astonishment. It was a full minute before she said in an
incredulous
voice, ‘Piers, I can hardly believe what I am hearing! Let me be quite certain – are you offering
marriage?’
‘Yes,’ he said, fixing his eyes on her face as he waited for her answer.
Alyssa burst out laughing. ‘You can’t mean it, Piers! What an absurd suggestion – this must be some sort of joke!’
‘I would not jest about a proposal of marriage!’ he said coldly, raising his brows.
Undaunted, she gave another chuckle. ‘But-but you surely don’t profess to be in love with me?’
‘Lord, no!’ he admitted, ‘Naturally I’m fond of you, Coz – you know that – but I don’t
love
you! I thought we might rub along well together and no need for it to amount to more. A business arrangement is what I had in mind.’ The idea had seemed plausible enough when Piers was planning it, but now he had voiced his proposition, he felt a little sheepish.
‘You are offering a marriage of convenience?’ she cried.
‘Yes, that’s it exactly – that’s the term I was searching for.’
‘And the reason, of course, is money.’
He shrugged. ‘Damn it all, it
is
for money: you have something that is rightly mine; my crushing debts leave me no place to turn, and I see no other way out of my current difficulties. Are those reasons sufficient, Alyssa? I am desperate enough to suggest a marriage of convenience. I’d help you run the estate for a share in Hawkscote’s wealth, but I’d place no other restrictions on you – you’ll be free to go your own way, and I’ll not interfere.’
‘How very obliging,’ she remarked, in a dry voice.
Piers ploughed on, ‘Marriage to me would also relieve you of Charles’s
attentions
, who is the dullest dog I know and not fit to kiss the hem of your gown. And he doesn’t care for you one jot – by God, he can’t even show his face because of a pathetic fear of catching scarlet fever, whereas I have proved my genuine concern for your well-being.’
Piers’s indignation was manifest in every syllable, and he continued to argue his case. Alyssa listened in silence but eventually brought his discourse to a summary end by shaking her head and saying abruptly, ‘Oh, cut line, Piers! You are mad to think of this, let alone speak of it.’ She rose to her feet, and said, ‘Thank you for the compliment but I will
not
marry you.’
‘But you need help and I need money! If we married, we would both get what we want.’
‘No,’
said she, firmly. ‘That is my final word and I beg you not to embarrass both of us by asking again. Indeed, I half expected you to – but no, I will not talk of that now. You must be blinded by your debts and a sense of injustice to suggest this. You might have known I’d never agree.’
‘It was worth the attempt.’
‘Worth the attempt?’ she echoed, with a scornful glance. ‘Were you so
desperate
for money you lost all sense of my character, and how I would react? Good God, if I were a man, I’d land you a facer for being a fool, and a mercenary one at that, and it would be well deserved!’
‘I only wanted what is rightfully mine were it not for Uncle Tom’s
backhanded
trick, but I should have accounted for your stubborn streak of
independence
,’ he admitted, his tone increasingly defensive.
‘I would not countenance marriage to express gratitude, or relieve me of Charles’s attentions. I can achieve both perfectly well by other means.’
‘I see that now,’ he muttered, shrugging a petulant shoulder.
Piers fell silent and shuffled uncomfortably. Alyssa could see his anger ebbing away as quickly as it had appeared, to be replaced with disquiet and no small measure of embarrassment. Piers looked like a sulky schoolboy who had been caught red-handed on some escapade. She had responded to his proposal with laughter, but it was unconsciously done, and he thoroughly deserved to feel
foolish
. However, Alyssa had a tender place in her heart for her wayward cousin and could not help feeling sorry for him in his desperation.
Seeing his expression, she said in a softer tone, ‘Come, Piers, I bear you no grudge for your proposal, or the flawed reasoning behind it. We need not speak of it again. You do not really wish to marry me, even for money. And haven’t I promised to alleviate the worst of your debts when I can? You will not be rich but you will be comfortable; Uncle Tom would have wanted that much, I know. Besides, you have not yet fallen in love and when you do, you will not want a marriage of convenience. You will desire to be with the person you love every minute of every day, and find you cannot enjoy life without them at your side.’
Piers laughed ironically. ‘Living in someone else’s pocket sounds deuced uncomfortable. If that is being in love, I don’t hold out hope of ever finding it. There are only two women I’ve met whose company don’t irritate me: you are one, the other is Letty—’ He stopped, looking up slowly as though a thought blinding in its novelty had occurred to him, and repeated in a whisper,
‘Letty!’
Before Alyssa could reply, the door opened and Letty came in. She looked quite lovely, dressed in a dark-green riding habit trimmed with braiding
à la hussarde.
Her long skirt was swept up over one arm and she held her gloves and riding crop in the opposite hand; a single dark-green feather curled down over the brim of her dashing hat to caress one cheekbone. Piers stared at this charming picture as if he were seeing her for the first time, before muttering ‘Damnation!’ furiously under his breath and flushing to the roots of his hair. ‘G-Good morning!’ he stammered, ‘I have been speaking to Alyssa.’
‘I know.’
The guileless look accompanying this reply held no clue to whether Letty had overheard. Her colour was a little heightened and she was not smiling, but
otherwise
, her features were serene. She let the demi-train of her gown fall to the floor and, pulling on her gloves briskly, prompted, ‘I am ready to leave now, Mr Kilworth – if you are?’
‘Yes, yes of course!’ he said, almost leaping forward in his eagerness not to keep her waiting.
Alyssa watched them leave with her brows drawn together. Letty would be extremely hurt and angry if she had overheard Piers’s idiotic proposal. She was not a girl to show her feelings, but Alyssa thought she detected a dangerous gleam in Letty’s eyes which did not bode well for her cousin. Piers, Alyssa was convinced, was more than halfway to being in love with Letty but had not yet realized it; whatever direction their relationship took now, his path would not be an easy one.
‘It will do Piers no harm,’’ murmured Alyssa, to no one in particular, ‘and might even be the making of him.’
After enduring Letty’s frosty silence for over half an hour, Piers could bear her animosity no longer. As they skirted the wood riding side by side on the narrow path, he glanced at the figure beside him. Letty, sitting proudly erect in the saddle, stared straight ahead, every line of her body speaking eloquently of an uncertain temper and Piers wondered where to begin. Finally, he ventured, ‘Miss Ravenhill, y-you may have heard me speaking to my cousin. If you did, I should like to explain—’
‘There is no need!’ she interjected furiously, roused at last from her
self-imposed
quiescence. ‘I may as well confess to hearing most of what was said – unintentionally, as your voices were raised and carried into the hallway – but why you think it concerns me, I have no notion!’
‘I was a buffle-headed simpleton to suggest a marriage of convenience,’ he said, urgently, ‘and by God, I feel my idiocy more keenly now. I’m not proud of my behaviour. Alyssa was right – like a regular Johnny Raw, I’ve been blinded by a sense of injustice but that does not excuse my folly. Nor does it mitigate my role in other events during recent weeks—’
‘What events?’
‘They no longer matter.’ He coloured, and gave a short, humourless laugh. ‘I’ve made a complete fool of myself. When Alyssa spurned me, I felt only relief. She saw straight through my offer and laughed in my face, but her words
afterwards
’ – he looked again at Letty and lowered his voice – ‘well, her words made me realize what was before me and I had not seen.’
She regarded him with kindling eyes. ‘So, a few words from Alyssa and you saw the error of your ways? How fortunate! Now you may extract yourself from the moral turpitude you have fallen into and make amends for your infernal
selfishness
!’
‘Yes … no! Letty, I understand you are very angry but—’
‘Of course I am!’ she exclaimed, her cheeks reddened with wrath.
‘—you are furious at my cavalier treatment of Alyssa, and rightly so.’
‘Yes! But also because … because I thought … oh, it cannot signify,’ replied Letty. She gave a sob, and waved one hand in a dismissive gesture. ‘As I said, it is your business entirely.’
‘But I want to explain about seeing things clearly at last,’ he protested.
‘Then speak and be done. I wish to return home; I only accompanied you because I was too proud to admit to hearing everything.’
‘Damn it all, I
will
speak!’ he declared, reaching forward to grasp the rein of Letty’s mare and bring both horses to a halt. ‘Miss Ravenhill …
Letty
!’ he pleaded. ‘I made a terrible mistake proposing to my cousin, but doing so allowed me to see what I have been blind to all this time – it is
you
I love!’
Her eyes, wide with shock, flew to his.
‘I love you!’
repeated Piers.
Letty gasped and flung back in a low, throbbing voice, ‘How
dare
you! Have you no scruples? You propose marriage to one woman and declare passionate love for another in the same morning. Astonishing! You are a consummate actor, Mr Kilworth. From the desperate tone of your voice, I could almost believe you mean it, but I know how charming you can appear. Your dramatic ability does you credit and it might fool a more gullible lady. However, it is wasted on me.’
‘But my love for you is no act! God knows I’m not worthy of you, but I beg you will listen while I explain.’
Letty declared coldly, ‘I cannot stop you when you have charge of my horse’s bridle.’
‘I deserve and expect no succour, but hear me out!’ He inhaled a steadying breath and tried to continue in a more composed fashion. ‘I liked – was attracted – to you from the moment we met. When you appeared I thought I had summoned up a vision from my subconscious: you were the embodiment of my dreams. Even when you made me question my life and admonished me for scowling, I thought you beautiful. But it was not just your beauty which appealed, there was something else … you intrigued and beguiled me
somehow
.’
Letty gestured impatiently again with one hand. Piers grasped it, rubbing his thumb across her knuckles as he spoke again earnestly, ‘I continued to enjoy your company, both before and during Alyssa’s illness. I looked forward to our every meeting; I was conscious of bitter disappointment when you were busy and could not see me; I watched in admiration as you nursed Alyssa with little regard for your own health. Whenever I thought of you, I felt joyful and more content but, fool that I am, I was too busy making other plans to recognize what was in my heart. It was only when Alyssa said if I truly loved someone, I could not enjoy life without them that I suddenly realized I loved you! Darling, I’ve been a damned fool, but I’m placing my heart at your feet and asking your forgiveness.’
‘Why should I?’
‘Because you are what I have been searching for. I can’t imagine life without you. Nothing else matters – Hawkscote, money, new carriages, fine clothes – all are worthless compared to having you. I can offer little else but my love but I’ll do everything in my power to make you happy and give you the life you deserve.’ He smiled ruefully, adding, ‘I’m not flush in the pocket, but I’ll try from now on to live within my means, if you will only give me hope. With you at my side, I’d willingly face the Devil and all his hounds of hell!’
‘Fine words and a very touching speech,’ replied she, removing her hand from his grasp, ‘but you can hardly expect me to take you seriously when you offered marriage to Alyssa this very day. You might say anything to inveigle yourself back into favour.’
‘Deuce take it, I wouldn’t say I loved you!’ he said, exasperated.
‘But how many other women have heard those words from you?’
‘None! There are depths to which I will not sink, and whispering false words of love is one. I love you, only you, and I have never spoken thus to any woman.’ He edged his horse closer. ‘Letty, believe me, I need you more than I can say,’ he murmured. His gaze roamed her face and, seeing the curve of her cheek, the long dark lashes contrasting with the pale curls peeping out from beneath her hat and the stormy green-grey eyes that looked back with defiant candour, he said, ‘Lord, how lovely you are! I cannot resist any longer.…’ With that, he deftly transferred the reins into his other hand and slid his fingers along her jaw. Using his thumb to tilt her chin, he bent his head and tentatively pressed his lips to hers. For an infinitesimal moment, Piers felt her respond and emboldened, made a low sound in his throat and deepened his kiss. Desire shot through him, pounded through his veins and he reached for her, only to be brought sharply back from the edge of ecstasy by the crack of a riding crop across his forearm.
‘Argh!’ he cried out in pain, clutching where Letty had struck the blow. ‘What was that for?’
‘A reminder! I am not some light o’ love to be treated with contempt then won over with a kiss.’
‘Damn it, I do respect you: you have my
love
not my
lust
!’ He rubbed his arm, winced and said indignantly, ‘There was no need to place your crop about my arm!’
‘On the contrary, there was every need and you were lucky not to feel it around your head,’ she declared roundly. ‘Don’t take liberties with me, Piers, I’ll not stand for it. Perhaps you should know an hour ago I would have given
everything
in this world to hear that you loved me—’
Hope flared in his eyes but Letty held him off with a shake of her head.
‘—but after what has happened, it is no longer enough,’ she continued. ‘My feelings are not to be trifled with as you have done today.’