The Paradise War (34 page)

Never had I owned clothes so fine. It was the raiment of a wealthy chieftain. Why I should be so favored, I did not stop to consider. I dressed gladly, praising the generosity of my unknown patron—Scatha herself, no doubt. When I had arranged the cloak over my shoulders, I fastened the silver brooch and went out.

I was weaker than I thought, for the small effort of crossing the threshold made me light-headed and dizzy. I staggered against the doorpost and paused there until the house stopped spinning. The sun had slipped below a gray, hardcast sky briefly to illumine a dying day with a pale yellow light. Cold, with a raw wind off the sea, the air was sharp with the tang of salt.

Some of the older boys who were staying on the island through Sollen had gathered nearby to play hurley. The low sun stretched their shadows long on the field. They stopped their game when they saw me, each one staring at me. None called out a greeting, though I knew them all and they knew me.

Goewyn appeared on the path outside my door. She saw me clutching the doorpost and hurried to my side. The brash sea wind caught her unbound hair and blew the long golden tresses across her face as she gathered my arm in hers. “I was coming to sit with you while you slept. I did not think you would rise so soon.”

“I have slept enough. I want to walk,” I told her. Supporting me, her arm beneath mine, she steered me past the gawking boys in the yard and out toward the sea cliff.

“How do you feel?” she asked.

“I feel new made,” I said. At these words Goewyn hesitated—only a small falter in her step and a sidelong glance, both of which she covered instantly. But I noticed.

“Why do you look at me so?” I asked. “Is something wrong?”

She smiled but again I sensed the merest hint of indecision before she answered. “You looked like someone else just then,” she replied. “It must have been the light.”

Indeed, the fading afternoon light cast a golden glow over the sea and rocks below us and turned Goewyn’s honey-hued hair to spun gold and her fair skin to finest amber. The wind was fresh off the sea, flinging waves against the rocks and kicking up a mist that glimmered in the air. Too soon the golden light began to fade. Overcome by a sudden urge to touch her, I stopped on the path and raised a hand to her face, cupping my palm to her cheek. She did not resist.

“Tegid is waiting,” Goewyn said after a moment but did not draw away. We stood a little longer, then turned and made our way back to the cluster of dwellings.

We found Tegid in the hall and joined him at the hearth where he stood before a fire, holding a horn of ale. Upon seeing me, he affected an expression of indifference; but the relief in his voice was real enough. “So you walk the land of the living yet a little longer. I feared we had lost you, brother.”

Goewyn refuted this happily. “He told us from the first that you would return,” she said. “Tegid never doubted.”

Embarrassed, Tegid gave a deprecating shrug and pressed the ale horn into my hand. “Drink! I will bring more.”

He hastened away, and I turned to Goewyn, taking her hand and pressing it. “Thank you for . . . for watching over me, for caring for me—for saving me.”

“Tegid is the one who saved you,” she replied. “He endured much to bring you here. Compared to that, we did nothing.”

“It was not nothing to me,” I insisted. “I am in his debt, and yours. But it is a debt I look forward to repaying. Until then, accept my thanks.”

“Truly,” she replied, “there is no debt.” She pressed my hand earnestly and stepped away. “You and Tegid will have much to talk about. I will leave you now.”

She moved across the empty hall, and I watched her, surprised by the sudden surge of feeling for her. The hall seemed to grow visibly darker as she moved away, and I felt a chill creep into the air. I almost called her back to sit with me, but Tegid returned with cups and a jar of brown ale.

When we had seated ourselves at the hearth, I asked him to explain what he remembered of that freakish night on the White Rock. My own memory—so full of weird and frightening impressions and incredibly grotesque images—was not to be trusted. “I remember little of what happened,” I told him. “And that which I do remember is not certain.”

Tegid drank from his cup and then set it aside before answering. “The Gorsedd of Bards failed,” he said at last, beginning well before the events in question.

“The gathering—yes, I remember.” And I remembered something else too. “Yes, but what I want to know is
why
? Why was I there at all? What was it all about?”

“As I explained to you aboard the ship—”

“Explained!” I scoffed. “You explained nothing. You said I was there because Ollathir and Meldryn Mawr wished it to be so. But you did not tell me
why
they wished me there.”

“Ollathir intended to tell you after the gorsedd, but . . .” He shied from saying the words.

“But he died. So
you
must tell me, Tegid. Now.”

Like a man composing himself, trusting his weight to an injured limb, Tegid paused, assessing the damage his words might inflict. “There is trouble in Albion,” he said simply. “The three realms are divided: Prydain, Llogres, and Caledon—each looks only to itself and prepares for war with the others. The Day of Strife has come.”

“Oh, yes, this mysterious Day of Strife. I remember. Go on.”

“Even the noble clans are divided, royal houses are torn apart from within.”

“Even the royal house of Meldryn Mawr?”

Tegid did not deign to answer, but I knew I guessed correctly. “You have lived in Sci these seven years,” he continued. “You have been absent from Sycharth, so you could not have joined in the treacheries against the king. For this reason, you were chosen to attend the gathering. Ollathir and Meldryn Mawr determined to have you there to bear witness to all that happened at the gathering.”

“But I did not attend the gathering,” I reminded him, feeling cheated because I had not been better apprised and slightly insulted because I had not been fully trusted. “No one told me anything about this.”

“To tell you beforehand,” Tegid explained patiently, “would have poisoned your discernment.”

“So you say,” I grumped, remembering the cat-and-mouse game we had played aboard ship on the way to the island. Perhaps the bard had insinuated as much as he dared.

Tegid did not attempt to defend the judgment. He merely continued, saying, “Fear had already claimed the souls of many good men, bards among them. Ollathir suspected treachery among the brotherhood and planned to expose the traitors and purge them. But his plan failed. He had no choice but to conclude the gorsedd, lest he warn the traitors that he knew of their betrayals.”

“So the thing I was watching for—whatever it was—did not take place.”

Tegid held his head a little to one side, appraising me. “I do not know—but you do.”

“Do I?”

“Did you see anything during the gorsedd?”

“I saw nothing. Everyone went up to the mound, and I stayed below. I waited, walking around the mound from time to time, and then everyone came down again. Nothing happened. Everyone left, and I . . . No, there was something.”

Tegid leaned forward. “What do you recall?”

In my mind’s eye I saw again the figure hurrying away across the plain, moments before the gathering concluded. “No doubt it is of little importance,” I said slowly. “But just before the bards came down from the mound, I saw someone leaving the assembly.”

“Was it Ruadh?”

“The prince’s bard?” I thought for a moment, but I could not be certain. “It could have been Ruadh. I do not know.”

“Ollathir would have known,” Tegid said with conviction.

“Then why did he not ask me?” I demanded. This made no sense.

I hated these petty intrigues. I lacked the patience. Tegid looked away, his face closed as a slammed door. This was hard for him. It came to me that he loved Ollathir, his master and guide. I relented. “Why did Ollathir want to go back to the mound that night? Was it to do with this traitor?”

“Yes, and all the traitors,” Tegid replied solemnly. “The Chief Bard sought knowledge of how far the treachery had spread.” He halted, swung his eyes to me and then away again. He frowned into the deep-shadowed hall. “Ollathir believed the king was in danger,” he said at last. His voice struck a hollow note in the empty hall. “That is why he returned to the sacred mound that night. He hoped by means of the Sight to learn whose hand was raised against the king. But he did not reckon on the . . . the . . .”

Tegid’s voice trailed off awkwardly, and I knew why: the hellish creature on the mound. “Tell me, Tegid,” I demanded, gently, but firmly. “What was it that we saw up there?”

Tegid’s mouth twitched with revulsion. “The Dweller of the Pit of Uffern, the Ancient Evil, the Spirit of Destruction. You saw the force of death, decay, and chaos.
Cythrawl
is its name, but it is not a name spoken aloud save in dread.”

I knew exactly what he meant. I felt my heart go cold within me as I recalled my unwitting rout of the monster. “Why did this thing, the Cythrawl—why did it attack us?”

“Ollathir summoned it—” began Tegid.

“What!” The ale nearly slipped from my fingers. “Are you saying he called it on purpose?”

“No,” the bard replied. “He did not know that the Cythrawl was loosed, or he would never have gone up to the mound. He only thought to summon knowledge of the evildoers.”

“And this monster answered instead?”

“Yes, and once the Cythrawl appeared, he had no choice but to force the confrontation. He hoped to bind it before its power in the land grew too great to defeat. He had no idea how powerful it had already become.”

I could only shake my head in disbelief. “Was he insane? Why would he do such a thing?”

“We stood in the most sacred place in Albion. If the Cythrawl had succeeded in defeating us there, no force in this worlds-realm could prevent the destruction to follow. Albion would fall back into the void,” Tegid added. “It would be as if our world had never existed.”

Tegid became suddenly earnest. “But you drove the Cythrawl away before it could destroy the sacred center of Albion. Come the worst, some part of Albion will remain.”

“Would that I could have saved Ollathir,” I mused aloud. “I am sorry, Tegid.”

“No doubt you did all that could be done,” he replied unhappily. We lifted our jars to the Chief Bard’s memory and drank in silence, whereupon Tegid put his aside. “Now you must tell me what happened up there on the mound.”

“You know as well as I do what happened,” I told him.

“I know some—not all. I was not with Ollathir when he died, but you were. You must tell me how it was. I must hear it all.”

I made to answer, but could not. What had happened up on the mound? I hardly knew. I saw images—confused and grotesque—a bizarre flood of hideous impressions and nightmare sensations. I closed my eyes and tried to force the hateful vision from my mind. When I opened them again, Tegid was watching me expectantly. But how could I tell him what had happened when I did not know myself ? “I cannot say,” I said at last, shaking my head. “I do not know.”

“You must tell me,” Tegid urged.

“I cannot remember.”

“Tell me,” he insisted. “It is important!”

“I tell you I do not know! Leave it!”

Tegid stared hard at me, as if willing me to answer. He opened his mouth to speak, and then closed it, biting back the words before he uttered them. We sat for some moments at impasse while Tegid scowled at me. Then, all at once, he stood. “Come,” he said quickly, motioning for me to rise. “Follow me.”

“Why? Where are we going?” But Tegid did not answer; he was already moving toward the door.

He led us out from the hall. The sun had gone, and the wind with it. Still, the night would be cold. I regretted leaving the warmth of the hall and pulled my cloak more tightly around me as we hurried across the darkening yard.

We paused at the door of one of the small, round houses that stood within the caer. “Wait here,” he said, and entered. I stood outside until he returned. After a while he emerged. “You may go in to her now,” he said.

“Who?” I said, catching his arm.

“Gwenllian.”

“Why? What is happening?”

“I think you should speak to the Banfáith.”

“I do not want to speak to her, Tegid,” I whispered harshly. “Why are you doing this to me?”

“You
must
speak to her,” he replied firmly. “She is waiting.”

“Come with me.”

“No.” He took my hand from his arm and drew aside the black calfskin at the doorway. “I will await you in the hall,” he said and all but pushed me across the threshold. “Come to me when you are finished.”

He turned and retreated across the yard. When he had gone, I stooped and entered the stone house. It was bare, like all the others, but Gwenllian had a low, iron brazier burning in the center of the room, and the floor was piled thick with reeds and covered with skins and fleeces of shaggy goats and brown sheep.

Gwenllian herself was sitting in the center of the dwelling’s single room, her cloak gathered at the neck and spread around her so that only her head showed above it. Her long auburn hair, deep hued in the emberglow, fell unbound and smooth over her shoulders. Her large eyes were closed, her lips slightly parted. She seemed a sleeper on the verge of waking. I crept into her presence quietly, lest I disturb her meditations, and sat down cross-legged on the skin of a tawny calf.