The Outer Edge of Heaven (25 page)
He prayed until he worried about falling asleep and then slowly got up and got ready for bed. With that done, he walked over to the door of the bunkhouse and went out onto the porch, wondering how she was doing over there on hers. Was she still crying? Or had she been able to let some of it go and find a measure of peace? It was all he could do not to go back to check on her. Bitterly, he thought, she wouldn't even want that from him the way he had pushed her away these last weeks.
Keeping his distance had seemed the wise thing to do at the time. He just hadn't realized there was no way he could actually keep her at arms length from his heart. But he'd had to learn that the hard way. He was still learning it the hard way.
Dropping into a porch rocker, he leaned his head back and looked up at the numberless stars in the big Montana sky. He'd always tried to make wise decisions. And he'd always tried to do his best. He'd always treated women with respect and deference and he'd always hoped that someday he would find a girl he would want to spend the rest of his life with. Now that he'd found her and messed it up so thoroughly, it hurt so much he almost wished he'd was still wondering if she was out there somewhere. Then at least there'd been hope.
He was still sitting there, wondering if Charlie was okay when the sound of a dog growling reached his ears. He was so caught up with his thoughts it took a minute to clue in to what he was hearing. For some reason that sound made the hair on the back of his neck stand up and he stepped inside the door and took a deer rifle off the wall before he went to investigate. Whatever one of the dogs had pinned down was either an animal that wasn't supposed to be here in the ranch yard, or a human who wasn't, and he wasn't taking any bets on which.
Following the sound to the far side of some machinery sheds, he was attempting to walk quietly through the gravel when whatever it was broke and ran with the dog in pursuit. He knew exactly when the dog caught whatever it was that it was chasing and the expletives that suddenly broke the quiet of the night ended all speculation about whether it was man or beast. Luke had nearly reached the snarling, snapping, fighting dog, when there was the sound of ripping cloth and running footsteps and then only the whine of an injured dog.
Luke continued on around the shed until he found the dog, a shredded piece of plaid cloth still hanging from his teeth. "What are you up to, Pilgrim? Did you get a mouthful of stinking rotten Homo Sapien?" He leaned down to see if he could tell how badly the dog was hurt in the dark. "What'd he do to you, old buddy? Where are you hurt? Huh?"
Fo spoke out of the darkness, "You okay, Luke?"
"I'm fine. Pilgrim is a little the worse for wear. Is Charlie with you?"
"Yeah."
"Well, bring her to the bunkhouse, even if you have to pack her. I'm sure that was him again."
When Luke and Pilgrim found their way to where Fo and Charlie were, her eyes were huge and fearful even in the near coal blackness. Luke went up to her and said gently, "Please don't argue, Charlie. Come up to the bunkhouse with us where we can make sure you’re safe. Please."
She nodded. "Okay. Can I go back to my house and grab some sweats?"
"And your gun. We'll come with you."
Even as dead tired as he knew the three of them to be, sleep was almost a non issue there for awhile. They had locked the doors and windows, pulled the blinds and put in a movie, but the tension in the room was still palpable. Fo and Luke made an effort to appear to be watching, but Charlie just went to bed and laid there with big, haunted eyes in the dark as Luke watched her. She eventually got back out and came and sat between the two of them and finally fell asleep and her head slid to Luke's shoulder.
Working in the office early the next morning, Luke's head came up sharply when he heard Charlie and his dad in earnest conversation next door in the kitchen. His heart plummeted into his stomach as he heard her tell him she was going to leave first thing the next day to go back to Utah so she could protect their family from Tyree. He wanted to jump right up and go in and reassure her and beg her to stay, but he knew he couldn't. Hearing her start to cry as they talked made him want to interrupt even more. He sat at his desk, struggling to make it through this and was surprised to hear his dad say. "I'll double whatever we're paying you, Charlie, if you'll stay." She must have shaken her head without saying anything, because then he heard his dad say, "I'll triple it. C'mon Charlie. We can't live without you. What if you stayed now and I offered to pay for law school later if you still insist on going."
Luke didn't realize he was holding his breath until he was starved for air as he waited to hear her reply. He could hear the tears in her voice as she finally said, "I've decided I'm not going to go to law school, Richard. My heart is so not in it. I'm just going to go back to Utah and get a job and then come back to Kalispell when Fo comes back to marry Amy. I've learned to really love Montana. And I'd love to stay and work for you, Richard, but you haven't talked to Luke about this, have you? He would be upset if he knew what you're offering. I have to go away from here. Luke can't stand me and your family isn't safe as long as Tyree is around."
Once the shock of her answer wore off, Luke stood and moved around the desk to the door as his dad started to reply. Richard got as far as, "You're wrong, Charlie. Luke…”
They both looked up in surprise as Luke stepped into the doorway and advanced into the kitchen, took Charlie by the hand and almost dragged her into the pantry and shut the door behind them.
Flipping on the light in the tight quarters, he could see she was all but afraid of him as she looked up at him warily. For a second he only searched her eyes, wondering if she meant what she had been saying. Finally, he asked, "You're not going to law school? You're truly not? You love Montana?"
She looked down at her hand still tightly held in his and started to pull it away as she shook her head and answered with a sigh, "I can't do it, Luke. I can't make myself go to law school right now. I just can't."
"But, you're going to come back to Montana? Next winter, with Fo?"
Her eyes filled with tears again at his question. "Would I bother you even if I was clear in Kalispell? You'd never even have to see me, I promise."
He shook his head in frustration at her misunderstanding. How could he make her see how he felt about her? And it was no wonder she was so mixed up. He himself didn't even know what to think and how to feel just now. He reached down and took her other hand as well and then changed his mind and put both hands up to gently touch her face. "No. Charlie, no. The only thing that will bother me is that you'll be so far away in Kalispell. And do you absolutely have to go back with Fo? Couldn't you stay here? Please? We'll deal with Tyree, I promise. I'll hire twenty security guards if I have to. Just stay. Please."
She involuntarily stepped back and her eyes narrowed as she tried to figure him out. "What?" She stood looking at him as if he'd grown purple hair and then shook her head and said it again. "What?"
"Please stay, Charlie. We'll pay you quadruple what you're making. And I'll make Chase stay completely out of your way. I so can stand you, Charlie. It's having you go away that I can't stand.
She raised her eyebrows at that and stared at him with big eyes and then reached up to feel his forehead. "Luke, are you okay? You're not having a stroke or something, are you?"
He groaned out loud and ran a hand through his hair. "Help me out here, Charlie. You've just given me a whole new sense of hope in my life. Don't assume I'm losing it. I lost it weeks ago when I knew you were going to get in your taco rocket and leave me. Hearing you aren't going to law school after all and that there is a possibility you'd come back..." He paused and then wrapped his arms all the way around her tightly. "I need you to stay with me, Charlie. I need you ten times more than the children do. I don’t want to manipulate you, but please tell me you don't have to leave."
She stilled in his arms and he pulled back to look at her. With confusion etched into her expression, she asked warily, her voice low, "What's going on, Luke? Why are you acting like this?"
He shook his head and laughed softly. "Ah, Charlie, why is the sky suddenly bluer and the sun brighter?" He pulled her close again and asked quietly, "Last night I decided I would come to Utah to live too, so I could still see you. Be with you. It's not that I don't like you, Charlie. I love you. I just didn't know how to deal with losing you. I thought if I stayed away from you that telling you goodbye would be easier. Then I realized I couldn't tell you goodbye at all. That I'd have to follow you. If you'd have let me. I know I've been a complete idiot, but..." He let her go for a second and put his hands on her shoulders. "I'm so sorry for jerking you around. I wasn't trying to. What I was trying to do was not pressure you to do what I wanted. I felt you had enough of that from your family." He sighed. "But, oh, I've wanted to. I wanted to get down on my knees and beg you to stay."
She just kept staring at him in shock and he caressed her cheek with one hand and smiled. "I would still get down on my knees if there was room in here. Please say something. You're looking at me as if I've lost my mind."
She nodded almost woodenly. "I think you have, Luke. I don't know what to even think, let alone say."
He gently tipped her chin up so she had to look into his eyes and then he whispered, "Say you'll stay." He leaned down and kissed her gently, for a long moment and then whispered it again, "Just say that you'll stay."
He was looking into her eyes, literally trying to will her into agreeing when the pantry door opened and three different little dark heads peeked inside. Luke rolled his eyes and looked around at the children in frustration, but for the first time, Charlie started to smile. Jamie was sucking on a link sausage and he pulled it out of his mouth, looked back into the kitchen and asked, "Daddy, why is Lukey huggin' in the pantry wif Charlie?"
From behind the door they heard Richard chuckle and answer, "I'm not sure, Jamie, but maybe you'd better shut the pantry door and let them finish. Come in and sit down."
As the door slowly swung shut, all three little heads traveled along with it until Luke reached out and firmly shut the door and turned back to Charlie. "Sorry. Where were we? You were just getting ready to tell me that you'd love to stay in Montana. Remember?"
Charlie gave him an honest smile, but then she shook her head and sobered. "Even if I didn't believe this is temporary insanity on your part, there's still Tyree. I have to go to keep your family safe."
"This is not temporary insanity, Charlie. This isn't temporary anything. You've had my heart since that very first day when you busted me in only my jeans. If my feelings were temporary they would have been gone a long time ago. I'm afraid I've got it bad for you for forever."
She tipped her head to the side and gave him another hint of the smile he'd grown to love over these last months. "Somehow, Luke, I never thought you'd wax eloquent in the pantry like this. This is a whole new side of you for me."
He began to nuzzle her temple with his lips and murmured, "Tell me you'll stay and see what whole new side of me you find. I know Fo will be gone for a while, but he'll be back before you know it. And maybe I could watch over you while he's gone. Come on, Charlie." He put his fingers up into her hair and gently pulled her head against his throat. "Please say yes."
He felt her sigh against him and turn her face right into him as she said, "Luke, this is too sudden. This is like a hundred and eighty degrees from the way you've been treating me. What's going on? Why are you suddenly so different?"
"Charlie, I've wanted to be different the whole time. I just didn't think I had the right to ask you to give up law school and I know I work ridiculously long days. I knew I couldn't ask. But if you want to come back anyway and aren't going to become an attorney right now, maybe it wouldn't be pressuring you too much to ask you to stay here in Montana with me forever."
Her eyes flew to look up at him. "Forever! Luke! What are you saying?"
He looked steadily down into her gaze. "I'm saying that I love you, Charlie. And I want to be with you forever. Stay in Montana and marry me and we'll live happily ever after."
"Luke!" He realized he'd gone too far when she got a look of all out panic.
She began to pull away and he backpedalled, "Okay. Okay, Charlie. I won't talk about forever this morning, but don't leave. At least tell me you're not going to leave in the morning. Give us at least one more day to think things through. Maybe we can come up with some ideas. Would you agree to that?"
She nodded, but at the same time she said, "You're forgetting Tyree again. I need to get away from here, remember?"
"We'll figure it out, Charlie. Just one more day."
Her hesitation was starting to ebb and he knew it. He bent to kiss her one more time and her eyes watched him all the way until he touched his mouth to hers. As he kissed her, her eyelids slowly flickered closed and then he felt her melt against him. He finally dared to hope that someday she would be a permanent part of his future.
His lips left her mouth and he kissed her temple as gently as he could, and he whispered, "Thank you, Charlie. You won't regret it. I promise."
In a voice that was slightly breathy, she said, "I didn't really agree to stay, Luke."
He went back to her mouth and kissed her again, long and slowly. "Yeah, I think you did. At least your body did. I felt it when you made the decision."
She gave a small sigh. "Once I get a little way away from you, you're going to have to give me a minute to make my mind get on board as well. I'm having a hard time making any brain waves function with you this close, this close." She nodded at the loaded pantry shelves that surrounded them and Luke had to smile.
"At the time it seemed like the closest privacy. Sorry. But I had to talk to you. For months I've struggled with you going back and feeling like I couldn't ask you to stay. I love you, but I didn’t want to try to force you like your family always does. You utterly changed my whole outlook with what you said to my dad. How did your parents take your announcement, by the way?"