The Other Side of Envy: The Ghost Bird Series: #8 (The Academy) (33 page)

Kota was going to ask Victor why plans had changed.

I sunk as low in the chair as I could. My fault. Whatever they’d been planning to do, this might destroy it.

Nathan started opening pizza boxes. One of them had half of a pizza containing bacon, pepperoni and extra cheese: Nathan’s. The other half contained chicken, black olives and pineapple.

Nathan picked up one of the thin slices that contained the chicken side of ingredients. He showed it to me. “Can I try? You won’t eat half a pizza by yourself, will you?”

I shrugged, encouraging him to eat. Secretly, I hoped he’d eat all of it. I’d have to nibble at something around them, but I couldn’t imagine eating. My stomach was tied up in so many knots, I couldn’t even imagine swallowing water.

Nathan ate a big bite of the slice. “Hm,” he said, talking while he chewed. “It’s not bad, actually.”

“It’s an abomination,” Silas said, standing by. He reached out for the slice Nathan was holding. “Let me try.”

Nathan passed over the slice. Silas took a bite. He chewed and swallowed. “It’s not pepperoni.”

“It’s not bad, though, is it?” Nathan took another bite. “Actually, it’s pretty good. It’s like that bite of sweet with everything else being salty.”

“That’s not a pizza,” Silas said, taking the other large box over to the bed where he opened the lid and picked up a slice. “It’s something else, but not pizza.”

“Tell me you wouldn’t eat it,” Nathan said.

“I’d eat it,” Silas said. “But you can’t call it pizza. It’s only pizza if it’s got pepperoni on it.”

Kota and Victor returned. I remained still, watching Kota, but trying not to make eye contact. He didn’t seem too upset. I wasn’t sure what Victor might have told him. I was worried maybe Kota was trying to hide his feelings from the others.

That didn’t seem to be the case though. Kota went to the pizza boxes. He tore open the top of a couple of boxes to create makeshift plates. “Who wants to eat North’s since he’s gone?”

“He’s not coming back?” Nathan asked.

“I don’t think he’ll be back tonight,” Victor said. “I’m taking his place.”

Nathan opened the box with North’s pizza. It was a large, thin crust with minimal cheese and covered in tomato, spinach and mushrooms. There were slices of ham mixed in.

Victor made a face. “He might as well have ordered a salad.”

“We can order another one,” Kota said.

“I can share a slice or two,” Silas said, and came over with his box, of which he’d already eaten three slices. He swapped out two of his pepperoni slices for some of North’s. “Now I can tell him I ate vegetables this week. At least he skipped the jalapeno peppers this time.”

Nathan grunted, picking up a slice of North’s pizza and trying a bite. “It’s not horrible,” he said. “I like Sang’s better.”

Victor squinted at the collection of different pizzas. “Which one is Sang’s?”

Nathan pointed to the chicken pizza. “Chicken, black olives and pineapple.”

Victor examined the pizza. “Interesting.”

I grimaced. Victor knew about what was going on, and yet he didn’t seem to be upset or too concerned. Maybe North would fix it. Maybe this was all temporary. Maybe Kota was right that he needed a nap and then Gabriel would see things more clearly. North could relieve Gabriel and run around with my phone to give Gabriel time to rest.

It seemed logical. It felt like what North would try to do.

I was grateful for that.

Trust. I knew I needed to. It was just difficult to stand by when it was my fault.

Victor picked up one of the smaller slices of my pizza and then took a bite. “Oh wow,” he said. “I think I like it.”

“She hasn’t even had any yet,” Nathan said. He picked up one of the larger slices and then put it on one of Kota’s makeshift plates. He passed it over to me. “Eat one before they eat it all. Or I do.”

The smell was getting to me. I was hungry. Maybe being hungry and overtired was my problem, too. Maybe I was too cranky from being up all night like Gabriel.

I took my slice and ate. It was mechanical at first. But after a few bites, my stomach craved more and the flavors were pretty good. I finished up my slice and had one more.

The others split up the rest between them. Some of North’s was left at the end, and Silas said we should hang on to it in case he managed to get back tonight.

They picked out a TV channel to watch. Kota didn’t press on them any more about homework. It seemed no one wanted to be bothered with it.

I ended up on the bed between Kota and Victor. Nathan and Silas sat on the other one. Kota read quietly from his phone while the others watched TV. While it was only nine, I sensed they were all tired.

At some point, Kota got up to go to the bathroom. He turned the shower on and I thought that he must have been thinking ahead to tomorrow morning, when everyone would try to get in a shower before school.

I wedged myself between the sheets, shifting to lay in the middle of the bed. If Victor slept in the same bed with Kota and I, it’d be a tight squeeze. It’d be even tighter if I got in with Silas and Nathan, since they were bulkier.

Victor stood and moved to change out of his clothes into pajama pants, leaving on a white T-shirt before he crawled into bed beside me, his back to the TV and the others.

Victor checked over his shoulder at Nathan and Silas. He lay close next to me and whispered, “Did you hear about Gabriel?”

Ice dripped down my spine. I sunk in hard against the bed, trying to hide myself but unable to do so. “Does Kota know?” I asked quietly.

“He knows the plan has changed,” Victor said. “We told him Gabriel had a new plan, but we don’t know exactly what it is. We have to trust Gabriel, because he’s in the situation and we’re not there. We’re still on the move with McCoy being followed by our extra team. I was hoping North could locate Gabriel and...”

“What do you mean?” I asked, starting to sit up and realizing I couldn’t. Not without attracting attention. “He’s gone?”

“He left your phone with Luke. Luke’s the one running around, letting Mr. McCoy chase him.” Victor tilted his head against the pillow. His fire eyes were on a low simmer. “He’s got another plan in mind. Something to help move things along, I think. Did you say something to him?”

Yes. “I might have riled him up. I was trying to cheer him up since this morning.”

“I kept meaning to talk to him today,” he said. “He left this morning in that bad mood. He was standoffish earlier.” He sighed and covered his forehead with an arm. “I don’t know what to do.”

I don’t know why, but seeing that Victor was troubled by this made me feel not as alone. I snuggled up as close as I could, reaching to hold his hand and dipping my cheek to his shoulder. “It is my fault,” I whispered. “I...said some things to him. I was trying to draw him out, to get him on my side. Like Mr. Blackbourne said.”

“It doesn’t help when he feels we’re all looking down on him.” Victor moved his arm from his face and reached out to me, moving a lock of hair away from my eyes. “It’s not your fault.”

It so was. “I shouldn’t have pushed him,” I said. “I should have left him alone until he could sleep.”

“Don’t blame yourself,” he said. He curled the lock of hair between his fingers. “Gabriel has a way of being odd. One time you argue with him and he wants to be alone. Then you learn he wanted you to talk to him all along. The next time, he really does just want to be alone. He’s so moody.”

“I just wanted to fix things,” I said.

Victor pressed his lips together, the fire in his eyes burning lower now, barely a spark. “I don’t know if you could.”

“Apparently I didn’t,” I said. “I messed up.”

He released my hair to point at his own chest. “No. I mean, I think
we’ve
messed up,” he said. “Gabriel’s different and we know this. We take for granted the things he does for us. We work to make everything feel like we’re a family, but lately it’s been difficult.”

“I want to help, but I’m afraid of trying anything and driving him further away. I don’t even know what I could do at this point. North took Gabriel’s phone. I have no way to reach anyone.”

Victor’s lips twisted. He reached to the bedside table where he’d placed his phone and brought it around, holding it between us. “I could text him. I’m not sure...” His eyes suddenly lowered and his fire eyes flickered. He was thinking.

Suddenly, he sat up, twisted on the bed and fiddled with his phone. He glanced at the television screen and then spoke aloud. “Silas, unless you really want to know how this show ends, can you turn it off?”

Silas groaned and pointed to Nathan. “You’ve got the remote. I was almost asleep anyway.”

Nathan spun on his side of the bed and then picked up the remote. “Making a phone call?” Nathan asked, turning off the television.

“I need your help,” Victor said. “Gabriel’s feeling a bit down.”

“He was grumpy today,” Nathan said. He tossed the remote onto the side table, pulled back the blanket and stood up. He tugged at the bedspread, which Silas was holding down by laying on it. “Get up a minute, Silas. Let me take this cover off.”

Silas rolled off onto the floor. He stood, stretched and then turned around. “What do you want us to do?” he asked in the middle of a yawn. He finished and then scratched his neck. “He’s not even here.”

“I was thinking of a birthday thing. But last night he was saying he didn’t feel good about being around us. Mostly he thinks we’re smarter and stronger than he is.”

Nathan looked over at Silas. His eyebrows moving together in a questioning gaze. “Well, technically I’m probably stronger than he is.”

“We can lift more,” Silas said. He looked at Victor. “Does he want to learn to lift?”

“No,” Victor said, shaking his head. “That’s not what I meant.”

I sat up, stuffing the blanket around my shoulders, and putting the sweatshirt hood over my head to keep in the warmth. I understood what Victor was saying, and it sparked an idea. “Could you all talk about things you admire about Gabriel?” I asked. “Victor can record it and send it on to him.” This sounded much better than goading Gabriel about his past to talk to me. Maybe it was too late. But somehow, it didn’t feel like it was. Victor seemed okay with the thought.

Nathan shoved the cover onto the floor and then jumped, slamming down onto the bed on his stomach, making the whole thing shake. He grinned and then rolled over on his back, stuffing his arms under his head to look up at the ceiling. “I guess,” he said. “Ready to record?”

That excited me further. I sat up more, smiling. They were quick to want to help, no matter what it was. Gabriel in trouble? Want us to say something nice about him? No problem.

Victor pressed buttons on his cell phone and then nodded. “Go.”

The room fell silent. We glanced at one another. I think we were all waiting for some direction, for someone to start. Silas sat on the bed.

Victor pressed the stop button. “We can’t think of anything?”

“It’s hard to start,” Nathan said. “I don’t know what to say. ‘Hey, Gabriel. You draw realistic flowers. That’s awesome.’ It just seems stupid. He’d probably think it’s dorky.”

The bathroom door opened. Kota stepped out with a white hotel towel over his shoulder. He was in the pajama bottoms again, a fresh T-shirt on, his glasses foggy. He glanced at us, and raised an eyebrow. “Are we going to sleep?”

We all looked at each other guiltily.

“We’re trying to say nice things about Gabriel so he can stop being depressed,” Nathan said. “You know how he is. It’s almost his birthday, too.”

Kota instantly turned to me. “This is your idea?” he asked.

“I came up with it,” Victor said defensively. “She’s helping.”

I wasn’t sure what happened. Kota asked a gentle question, curious.

Kota’s eyes shifted from Victor to me. “I don’t know if he’d see through us talking about him like that. It’s like complimenting someone. It can be appreciated, but too much and you risk making him feel like we’re coddling him. He’ll resent it.

That didn’t sound any better. Victor and I looked at each other. Maybe it wasn’t a good idea at all.

Kota moved to his overnight kit and started taking out his toothbrush and toothpaste. He curled his fingers at me. “Come brush your teeth,” he said.

Was that it? Couldn’t we come up with another plan?

I got up, knowing I needed to brush my teeth. What else could I do?

Kota handed over his own toothbrush and paste. He stood by while I loaded the brush and rinsed it before putting it in my mouth. I brushed quickly to get it over with.

As I was doing that, Kota turned to the others. He motioned to Victor to turn on his phone and record.

Victor did and Kota started. “It takes me at least an hour to get ready in the morning before going to school. Gabriel can throw himself together in less than fifteen.”

“You take too long in the shower,” Nathan said, grinning. “And then when you shave, you’re always going over the same spots.”

“That’s because he uses the same old razor. He hangs on to those things like they’re gold,” Silas piped in. He sat up on the bed. “Gabriel’s always getting after me about switching out my razors for new ones. You have to or you get cuts.”

What was going on? Kota didn’t say a word. I mean he just started talking and the others seemed to know what to say. Had they done this before? It didn’t seem like it. Somehow, once I wasn’t there, they were able to say what they needed to say?

I couldn’t think like that. It hurt to think that’s what he was doing. Or maybe I made them nervous by looking at them?

I made the big, tough Silas and Nathan nervous?

“He can grow a beard when he just didn’t shave for a week,” Victor said. He pressed a palm to his cheek and smoothed it out over his face. “If I try to even grow anything, it’s all splotchy. The hair is too fine.”

“Have you seen his abs though?” Nathan said. “I mean, he does what, a few pushups a week?” He lifted up his shirt, showing his abdomen. He was clearly defined with lean muscles. “He’s got those genetics that lets him eats nearly anything he wants. If I ate like him, I’d be a pudge like I was before.”