The Opposite of Wild (12 page)

He opened the door. The place was packed. Mr. and Mrs. Garner stood by the bar with some friends, locals he knew from town. Other people he didn’t recognize, maybe some of her relatives. He found Gran chatting with his brother Shane. He didn’t know Shane would be here. Of course, his shop was two doors down; he was probably friendly with the Garners. Finally, Ryan spotted her standing with Rachel. She seemed to sense his stare and met his eyes. Her hair was silky smooth and perfect again. She wore her usual buttoned-up shirt and ironed pants that ended mid-calf, exposing a little bit of skin. He had a brief vision of her bare legs in that Snoopy T-shirt. He forgot his anger as he crossed to her side.

“Happy birthday,” he said, bending to kiss her cheek and breathing in the scent of vanilla, maybe from her shampoo. She smelled delicious. She blushed prettily, and he handed over her gift.

“Ryan, you shouldn’t have,” Liz said softly. She avoided his eyes, playing with the curled ribbon tying the two boxes together—something the saleslady had done for him. “Really.”

“It’s nothing.” He shoved his hands in his pockets. Her mother had told him what kind of chocolate to get when he’d called earlier today. The earrings he’d picked out himself.

Rachel watched him with undisguised amusement.

He nodded at her. “How ya doing, Rachel?”

“Just fine, Ryan,” Rachel said. “I wasn’t sure if you’d show. Word is you’re kind of a hermit now.”

“I work a lot,” he grumbled. “Nothing exciting. But surveillance work goes easier when I’m solo.”

Liz perked up. “What kind of surveillance work?”

“Mostly married idiots shacking up with someone else. But, hey, those idiots pay my mortgage.”

Liz frowned. That’s when he remembered he owed her an apology.

“Can we have a minute, Rachel?” he asked.

“Sure,” she said with a huge grin. Had Liz told her about their kiss? She should be pissed, not smiling.

“Hey, I’m sorry about last night,” he told Liz the minute Rachel was out of hearing range. “It was a mistake. I shouldn’t have—”

“A mistake?” Her voice rose in volume. “You know what…no, forget it.” Her eyes were suspiciously shiny.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” She crossed her arms, hugging herself. “I’ve got to go.”

“Wait, I don’t know why you’re so upset. I apologized.”

“You’re right. What a lovely apology. Goodbye.” She turned to go, and he grabbed her arm. “Let go of me.”

He jerked his head to the door. “Let’s talk outside.”

She shook him off, and the fire was back in her eyes. Hands on her hips, she demanded, “Why?” in a voice that got attention.

A few people watched them curiously. Gran shot him a look of warning from across the room.

“I’ll tell you when we’re outside,” he said through clenched teeth.

~ ~ ~

“Fine.” Liz marched past the bar, shoved his gift behind it, and pushed open the back door. She stopped just outside the door and crossed her arms. “What is it?”

His eyes were glued to her breasts. She glanced down. Between the Wonderbra and crossing her arms, she’d grown a cup size. She waited, still pissed he’d called their kiss a mistake. She’d actually been hopeful it might be the first step toward ending her dry spell. The joke was on her.

“Well?” she prompted.

He met her eyes and blinked. “Gran would like me to install a zipline in her backyard,” he finally said.

Ooh, boy, Maggie must have told him about their adventure. Or maybe she just casually mentioned the idea of a zipline in her backyard with no explanation. A possibility. You never knew with her. “Really?” she asked, trying for innocent.

“Yes, really. You wouldn’t happen to know anything about that, would you?” He took a step closer. Her breathing quickened as she took in his woodsy scent, his strong jaw, the eyes that burned into hers.

She sucked in some air. “Maggie mentioned at lunch she thought it’d be fun to zip through her backyard,” she said all in a rush, focusing on a point just right of his ear. “But I never thought she’d actually go through with it.” She met his sharp hazel eyes and looked away. “That’s a little crazy. Who ever heard of…” She trailed off weakly as he stroked one finger along her jaw, tipping her head up. She closed her eyes, waiting, barely breathing in anticipation…a beat passed, and she opened her eyes.

“Tell me you won’t go ziplining with her again,” he said evenly, his eyes hot on hers.

“I won’t go ziplining with her again,” she breathed.
Not that I’d ever want to.
She stared at his mouth.

He pulled back, ran a hand through his hair. “You can’t encourage her craziness. I’m not even paying you. Why are you still hanging out with her?”

She shoved at his chest, thoroughly pissed off that she’d opened herself up for another stinging rejection. She’d thought he was about to kiss her. She glared at him. “I like Maggie, and you know what? She knows what she’s doing. She wants to live life to the fullest. Who are you to tell her what she can and can’t do?”

The corner of his mouth kicked up. “Who am I?” he asked in an even tone. “Who are
you
?”

She exhaled sharply. “I’m her friend.”

“She’s my gran,” he said quietly. “Nothing can happen to her.”

Her heart softened. She bit her lip and nodded.

He reached out and stroked a lock of her hair, his warm fingers grazing her neck. “Have dinner with me.”

She took a step back, thoroughly confused. He wouldn’t kiss her, thought it was, in fact, a mistake that he had kissed her, and now he was asking her out to dinner? What kind of game was he playing?

“No,” she said.

“Why not?”

“Because you’re…”
A heartbreaker
.

Because of The Humiliation
.

Her father poked his head out the back door. “Everything okay here, honey?”

“I’m fine, Dad. We’re coming back in.”

Her father eyed Ryan, then smiled at her. “Okay.”

Ignoring the baffled look on Ryan’s face, Liz went back inside. Because she’d almost said
yes
.

Liz headed for the bar on wobbly legs and ordered a Chardonnay. Her wine arrived quickly. “Thanks, Josh.” She slid onto a barstool and downed half the contents of the glass. There were a lot of perfectly good reasons for her to say
no
to Ryan. The Humiliation, of course, the kissing “mistake,” the fact that he’d never gone out with anyone for more than three dates, presumably the putting-out date.

And his job was to spy on cheating spouses? She’d thought he was doing something heroic, something helpful to people. He was irritating and confusing and too gorgeous for his own good. She scanned the room and spotted him talking to a group of her dad’s friends from the over-forty baseball league, probably cruising for new clients. Then she spotted Rachel by the buffet table, chatting with Shane and Alan Zinkman, the mailman in town. She’d have to pass Ryan to get to her friend. She really wasn’t up to another confrontation.

She took another fortifying swallow of wine and stood, pausing to make sure her shirt was still neatly tucked in. She headed over to Rachel, ignoring Ryan’s stare as she passed, carefully looking straight ahead to her destination.

“Hey, I’m back,” she told Rachel, coming up behind her.

Rachel took one look at her and said quietly, “Are you okay?”

“Fine.” Liz finished her wine. “Hi, guys.”

“Happy birthday,” Shane said, kissing her cheek.

Shane was so sweet. This was the kind of guy she should be hooking up with. She beamed a smile at him that he returned, a light of surprise in his eyes.

“Happy birthday,” Alan chimed in cheerfully. He had asked Rachel, and just about every other pretty girl in town, out multiple times. He didn’t take no for an answer until about the dozen mark, then he moved on to the next pretty girl. Luckily Liz had already turned him down a dozen times, so he was done with her. If only he didn’t try so hard, maybe he’d find someone.

“Alan was just telling me about the new mini-golf place over in Cherry Valley,” Rachel said. “We should all go.” She indicated the group, and Liz caught on. Alan must have asked her out again, and she was trying to change it from a date to a group thing.

“Sure,” Liz said. “Sounds like fun.”

“How’s your sister?” Alan asked.

“She’s good.” She forced a smile. “I talked to her today when she called to tell me happy birthday. She’s settling in at her new place.” The reminder of her sister’s absence made Liz fervently wish for another glass of wine, but there was no way she was passing Ryan a second time to get to the bar.

Maggie appeared magically at her side, holding two glasses of champagne. She wore a leopard print T-shirt with pink and white polka-dotted pants. A sparkly dragonfly barrette held back a short lock of hair on one side. She handed Liz a glass of champagne.

“A toast to Liz,” she said, lifting her glass. “Happy birthday!”

They all lifted their drinks and clinked glasses.

“Thank you.” Liz smiled and downed her champagne.

“I’m going to get more food,” Rachel announced.

“Me too,” Alan said at the same time as Shane said, “I’ll join you.”

Maggie glanced around, then turned back to Liz. “He’s out of earshot, so what did Ryan want? I saw the two of you head out back, and it looked pretty heated.”

“No more ziplining if you know what’s good for ya,” Liz said in a deep-voiced Ryan impersonation. She felt relaxed for the first time all night. Champagne was wonderful. So was Chardonnay. Any Cha- drink, really. Chablis too.

“Figured that was it,” Maggie said. “Don’t pay him any mind. He’s overprotective to a fault. He made a helluva policeman protecting all those people. He’s been fussing over me and the boys even worse since he left the force.”

“What happened? Why did he leave?”

“That’s Ryan’s story to tell.” Maggie sipped some champagne. “I’ve got more fun things planned for us, so I just wanted to make sure you don’t worry about what Ryan thinks. We’re too grown women grabbing life by the ba—”

“Yeah!” Liz cheered, cutting Maggie off before she could announce that obscenity in front of half the town. Even if it was a little funny. She giggled.

“Time for cake,” her mother announced. “C’mon, everybody!”

Liz weaved through the crowd to the table near the bar with the cake. She stood in front of it. There were so-oo-oo many candles. The flames danced together in front of her eyes.

The crowd launched into the “Happy Birthday” song.

Liz looked to her parents smiling with love in their eyes as they sang. She smiled back.

Rachel squeezed her arm. She’d never missed a birthday.
Dear Rachel
.

The crowd hit a high note very off-key.

Ryan watched her, not bothering to sing.
Why did he have to come anyway?
The hot jerk.

The song ended, and everyone applauded.

“Make a wish,” her mother said.

Liz looked to Maggie smiling encouragingly; then she closed her eyes and wished with all her heart she could be more like Maggie.

~ ~ ~

Much later, in the quiet of her apartment, Liz opened her gift from Ryan. The buzz she’d had earlier from the wine and champagne had worn off, and she was feeling raw again, missing Daisy and the baby she’d almost had, knowing she was thirty and still so far from everything she’d always wanted. She cut the ribbon tying the two boxes together and unwrapped the smaller box—earrings with aquamarine gemstones at the top tapering into a delicately curving silver spiral. They were beautiful.

She tore open the slightly larger box—Godiva chocolate truffles—her favorite.
How did he know?

She took out her tiny diamond studs and slipped the new earrings in. Going to the bathroom mirror, she tilted her head slightly and watched the silver catch the light. The gemstones matched the color of her eyes.

She had to admit the two gifts were perfect for her. She was struck with the thoughtfulness of his gifts. It made her think more about the Ryan she knew now than the Ryan she’d known way back when.

Which was a mistake.

But if she learned anything from ziplining today, it was that even something that seemed like a huge risk could be exhilarating. And fun.

And, if she was going to be more like Maggie, maybe, just maybe, that meant she could have her cake and eat it too.

And not step foot on that damn treadmill.

Enjoying the feel of her new earrings, she crossed back to the living room, where she ate two of the heavenly Godiva truffles and deliberately rebelled against her calorie-counting habit. In fact, she’d get rid of the app. MyFoodBuddy was no longer her buddy. She picked up her cell, clicked and held the app, and pressed delete. She exhaled slowly and set it down. It was the first time since The Humiliation that she hadn’t tracked her calories.

If she was really honest with herself, controlling and planning every detail of her life hadn’t made her happy.

It was time for a fresh start.

On that note
, she thought with an excited little wiggle, she considered the pros and cons of a casual affair with Ryan.

She made a list:

Pro:

Sex

Con:

The Humiliation

No future

Then she considered her two-year dry spell and decided the Pros outweighed the Cons. She added to the Pro side: End dry spell. Fun. There, three to two, pros won.

She just needed to find the courage to put her proposition to him. That would require some thought. She slipped the earrings back into their box and changed into a T-shirt and shorts for the treadmill. She still intended to keep fit, especially after splurging as she did today. Besides, running helped her think. As she ran, she thought of Ryan, images flashing through her mind of him at the party, handing her the gifts, leaning down to kiss her last night, at the Harley dealer looking pissed off, at Maggie’s house. And then The Humiliation came back to her vividly.

It had changed her life.

She’d been thirteen the summer that Ryan and his brothers had moved to Clover Park. She’d loved him with all her heart and soul in the way that only a thirteen-year-old discovering the magic of boys for the first time could. He was tall, athletic, and had a take-charge, confident way about him that appealed to her, confidence being something sorely lacking in her own life. She’d met him at the town’s lake, Grand Lake. (The town founders had argued over whether the lake was Great or Grand, and Grand finally won out in a close vote, but it was really a Large-ish Pond). Ryan the Lifeguard used to smile down from his lifeguard chair at the overweight girl four years younger in the one-piece neon orange swimsuit (Liz in an extended awkward phase) asking him inane questions about how to become a lifeguard. She had no aspiration to lifeguarding, but she hadn’t known how else to get his attention, so she’d peppered him with questions: Have you ever saved anyone? What’s the worst thing a lifeguard could face? How far could he swim? Would it make more sense to throw the life ring or swim and tow someone? How do you swim and tow someone? He’d been so patient with her, and it had made her summer.