The One That Got Away (19 page)

W
hen she first heard the news, Zora raised both eyebrows at her brother. “Tony, this isn't funny.” Seated across from him in a booth at a Caribou Coffee near her apartment, she kicked him under the table. “Now tell me what you've
really
been up to.”

Taking a sip from his mug of Kahlúa-sweetened coffee, Tony cast his gaze on the streetlamps outside, which had kicked into gear as the skies darkened. “I just told you, sis.”

Zora leaned forward, blowing air through her lips. “You know I love you, right? So don't make me say what's on my mind. Just admit you're playing with me.”

He grinned mischievously. “What's on my baby sister's mind? The thought that her brother's lost his?” He had just revealed his attempt to become the twins' foster father, right after bringing her up to speed on the house he'd finally purchased. He had introduced the boys to her and to his father back in the fall, but had kept the foster thing quiet until recently passing the first stage of the application process. It had helped that he'd finally won over Evelyn, who had formally asked the court to place the boys with him. Coming as it had the day after New Year's, it felt like a belated Christmas present.

Zora was still processing everything. “Tony, I just can't believe
you're taking on this challenge, with all the other things going on in your life.”

He leaned back against his seat, his arms spread wide in opposite directions. “I've got a new job, in a new city, all because I'm a new man. Would the old Tony Gooden have been willing to mentor two knucklehead teens? Hell, no. The new me took that first step, Zora, and now I'm in too deep to turn back.”

Her brow knitted, her hands clasped together in concern, Zora leveled a precise stare toward her brother. “They don't have anyone else to watch over them, no other family?”

The memory of Evelyn's court hearing two days earlier, the one where she'd been sentenced to another six months of prison, sobered Tony up, and he felt his grin vanish. “There's an aunt who's provided financial help through the years, but she's got health problems of her own.” He reached forward, tapping Zora's clasped hands. “Trust me, sis, if Glenn and Ben are gonna have some good direction in their lives, not to mention the positive influence of a male role model, someone's got to step in.”

Her nose scrunched up, Zora offset the anxiety in her voice with a weak smile. “Is this really the time for you to serve as a role model?”

His pride pricked, Tony focused his eyes on the store's front register. “You're worried about my situation with Serena, aren't you? Why don't you spend your time in a more productive fashion, kid? Don't you have a big-ass speech to write?” In a culmination of some of Tony's wildest dreams for his sister, Zora had founded an activist group of female rappers, writers, and poets who were scheduling local rallies in a dozen cities across the country, all aimed at encouraging a female boycott of all hip-hop that disrespected women. After unwittingly finding herself in the midst of the hip-hop cultural wars, Zora had decided to embrace the battle and choose sides.

“Never mind my speech,” she quipped with a playful roll of the neck. “Now about you and Serena. Why shouldn't I be worried?”

Tony sat back in his seat but began punctuating his words
with gestures, his hands slicing through the air. “Z, all that's over. I've accepted that Serena is part of my past, not my future.” The funny thing was, he actually believed the second half of what he was saying. After his confrontation with the Kincaid family, he'd come away convinced that Serena had more things on her mind than recreating some college crush.

What had he been thinking, anyway, fantasizing about starting his life over with her? While he was free to reinvent himself at will, Serena didn't have those liberties. Little Sydney was still eight years away from getting out of the house, and damn if Dawn wasn't in the most vulnerable phase of a child's life. The more he thought about it, he wasn't sure he could respect a woman who would place her own happiness over that of her children. He'd sensed at their house that she was committed to saving her marriage, and with all that in mind it was hard to argue with.

He tolerated Zora's probing questions until she finally pushed her pie plate aside. “You should know, I'm proud of you, big brother. I mean, I could never do anything as unselfish as what you're trying, but I admire your courage.” She patted his outstretched hand. “You're gonna have to keep me updated on this.”

Tony was surprised by the swelling pride his sister's words stirred. “Of course.”

She smiled, patting his hand again. “Just one suggestion as you get going. Wouldn't this time—embarking on becoming a parent—be the perfect opportunity to seek Millie out, to make her meet with you at least once?”

“As my boy Jack Nicholson once said, go sell crazy someplace else, please.”

“But Tony—”

“Sis.” He slid his hand out from under Zora's, reaching over with his left hand and enclosing her hand in both of his. “It's not gonna happen. You lived with her for eighteen years; why's it taking you longer to figure her out than it took me?”

Zora raised her free hand and covered Tony's. “Well, until she comes to her senses, you could go ahead and handle business on your end. Therapy would be good for you, trust me.”

Tony drew back, sliding his wallet out of his suit jacket. “It's getting late. I have to meet my colleagues downtown at eight-thirty. Will twenty cover the bill?”

Zora snagged the money from his hand, frowning playfully. “There'll be change, but I'll keep it to get you back for ignoring me.”

He smiled. “Don't be like that, Z. I mean, you can have the change, but I really have to run. You never know how long it'll take to hail a cab in this neighborhood, and if I'm late for this dinner I arranged, my ass is grass.” Although Chicago had initially been excluded from the list of cities targeted for new branches of Rowan Academy—the city's legendary political machine intimidated both Larry and Arthur Champion—Tony had finally convinced them to conduct this scouting trip to the city. For tonight's dinner he had invited every area politician, bureaucrat, and journalist he knew. It was his best chance to open doors for Rowan in his hometown.

Sliding out of the booth and standing, Tony leaned over his sister. “I wasn't ignoring you, Z.” He gave her a quick peck on the cheek. “I give. I'll schedule my head for a good shrinking, okay?”

“Y
ou d-did what?” Eyes suddenly vacant, his mouth wide as his lower lip and chin plunged toward the bed, Jamie jerked as if he'd been shot through the heart. Still as naked as the day God brought him forth from the womb, he reared back in shock at his wife's words, losing his balance until he tumbled onto his back, his quickly shrinking penis now a shadow of itself.

There had been several motivations, but it was Serena's libido that had finally forced her to come clean. Raging, long-neglected hormones, combined with her sincere respect for the compromises they'd made to reach this point, meant she couldn't make love to Jamie without putting everything on the table. As Jamie had straddled her, his hands rediscovering her body, his tongue hanging out in eager anticipation, she shut her eyes and let the truth flow.

“I won't lie anymore, Jamie. I spent—I spent a night with Tony.”

According to the clock on Serena's nightstand, it was now 6:34 p.m., meaning three entire minutes had passed since her husband had tumbled onto his ass. Shifting, Serena turned onto her right elbow as Jamie sat at the end of the bed, motionless. For a moment, she couldn't figure whether his silence was involuntary
shock or calculated punishment. She was ready to hear something, anything from him in response. Staring across the darkened room into the abyss of her husband's pain, Serena longed for the comfortable cover of the past few weeks, the time she'd spent acting as if that night with Tony never happened.

Maybe she'd have never brought this up, if not for Jade. She and Serena had been at the gym a week ago, preparing for aerobics class, when her friend challenged her. “So, when you gonna pay the piper?”

Once she finished playing stupid, Serena had leaned against her locker and swept her eyes around, making sure no one else was in earshot. “Jamie and I have had a lot to deal with, Jade. We've done more team parenting the past two weeks than we'd probably done the past two years, okay?” In the time since Tony had brought Dawn home from her little sex sleepover with Glenn, the Kincaids had tried their best to put her under lock and key. At every minute of the day, either Serena or Jamie monitored Dawn's movements in some manner—calling teachers to confirm her attendance in classes, picking her up immediately after school and confining her to house arrest until the next morning, even limiting her weekend outings to family activities.

Oddly enough, their daughter hadn't fought back nearly as much as expected. Apparently Glenn's ghetto momma, Evelyn, had struck enough fear of God into the child that she found her own parents quite reasonable by comparison. Even more odd, while Dawn was tolerating Serena, she'd taken to nearly fawning over Jamie. Her stepfather had earned the adoration; not only had he aggressively assured Dawn that her rebellious sexuality was normal and was more of a bump in the road than a big deal, he'd publicly put Glenn on notice, interrupting a phone call between him and Dawn one night. “You lay up with my daughter like that again, letting her get clowned by your ignorant mother,” Jamie had said into the phone, his eyes glinting with caged bravado, “and you and I will need to meet face-to-face, like men.” Dawn had protested, but only after watching Jamie with something bordering on awe.

That didn't mean the child was through with Glenn, of course. In the course of forbidding her to see him anymore, Serena had been disappointed to learn that the young buck handled his business in the bedroom. Her daughter held no apparent pangs of regret at surrendering her virginity; like her mother before her, Dawn felt her “first” had opened the door to a world of pleasure and excitement she'd only heard of before. In return, for the next several months and possibly beyond, Serena knew good and well that Glenn Hampton would be welcome to Dawn Kincaid's body whenever and wherever he wanted it.

If he got past her and Jamie, of course.

That day at the gym, Jade hadn't been impressed with Jamie and Serena's successful partnership. “I know you're both busy, and I know you've already come a long way,” she said. “But that doesn't mean you can just keep on without bringing the truth into the open.” Jade took a seat beside her friend on the locker room bench. “Why have a sword of hidden secrets hanging over your head, girl? It's not like Jamie's a babe in the woods. He'll understand. Eventually.”

“Real reassuring, sis,” Serena replied, rolling her eyes but keeping her head down. “I'm already tied up in knots about this. Until I decide I'm ready to take Jamie back into my bed, I just don't think it's worth springing the news on him.”

A crooked grin invaded Jade's face, a nervous twitch Serena recognized in her old friend. “Come on, Serena. Are you trying to tell me Jamie doesn't already have suspicions? I
know
he's said more to you about the way Tony showed up at your house with Dawn.”

“We had harsh words that night,” Serena admitted, sniffing nervously. “But that was it. I told him there was always a risk Tony would cross our paths when we enrolled Dawn at Rowan. I reminded him that he was the one who wanted Dawn there, and that we both felt, her dumb-ass recent move notwithstanding, that it was a smart move. He backed off the whole subject when I stood my ground.”

Jade frowned. “How'd you feel, lying to him like that?”

Serena turned narrowed eyes toward her friend. “Excuse me, but that was no lie. As far as I know, it was pure coincidence that Tony wound up mentoring Dawn's boyfriend.”

“Please,” Jade sighed. “You know what I mean, girl.” She put a hand to Serena's shoulder. “There was a time, sis, when we played games and did dirt, let the brothers we were dating think they were the only one and all that.” Her voice quieted as she turned away and said, “I thought we'd outgrown those days.”

That little guilt-inducing sentence had perched in Serena's subconscious ever since, and as she awaited her husband's reaction she realized its role in her outburst. What was done was done, though.

Soft beeps prickled Serena's ears and she realized that Jamie, who now sat with his back to her, had dialed a number into their cordless phone. “Fritz,” he said, his voice low and morose when his friend answered. “That space on your couch? I need that for myself this time. I'm coming back, but I'll have Sydney with me. She'll need to use your guest bedroom.”

Keeping his back to Serena, a still-naked Jamie stood, his butt cheeks flexing as he waved a hand dismissively. “Nothing to discuss or cool down about, brother. I can't tell you the details right now, 'cause if I do Allah will lose control of me, and my wife might wind up in an ambulance. Just give me an hour to gather my things and Sydney's, okay?”

Much the same way she'd been paralyzed when Jamie first confessed his own adultery, Serena felt she was watching a movie of a stranger's life.
Isn't that a trip,
she thought.
Woman's husband done lost his damn mind, trying to punish her by walking off with her baby.

“What are you looking at?” Jamie had turned and faced her now. Still buck naked, he embraced his naturally bowlegged posture, rays of aggression shimmering forth.

When Serena heard her own voice, she was surprised at how deceptively calm she sounded. “Jamie, you're talking crazy.”

“Did I ask for your opinion?” Jamie scowled as he opened a drawer full of boxer shorts. “I'm trying to be restrained about this,
woman—don't press me. I'm gonna get dressed.” He snapped a fresh pair of boxers in the air, then stared into her eyes. “Go pack a few days' worth of Sydney's clothes. I'll pick her up on my way over to Fritz's.” Along with Dawn, Sydney was spending the afternoon with Serena's parents.

Serena reached toward her nightstand, grabbing the pair of panties lying there. “I know this was hard to hear, okay? But you don't have any legal right to take Sydney with you, Jamie. Why don't you let me finish explaining—”

“There's nothing to explain,” he said, hiking his boxers up his legs and over his equipment until they were secured in place.

“Jamie,” Serena replied, suddenly feeling too shamed to throw off her covers and confront her husband on her feet. “I wasn't in my right mind that night. After you told me about everything going on with you, I stopped taking my medicine for a while and—”

“Save it,” he replied, his menacing stare piercing her. “You haven't had a real relapse since Sydney was born, so I'm not buying that you conveniently had one after finding out about Angelita and Andrea. What you did was revenge. You took a squat over my attempts to clean up my life, and pissed all over them.”

His eyes a raging fire, his voice a slowly heating oven, Jamie aimed a long index finger toward his wife. “For months now I've been celibate, studying at the mosque, doing all the right things by you and by the girls, and you respond by hiding your own sin, the very one I feared months ago.”

Serena couldn't look her husband in the eye, but her mouth still worked. “Jamie, this didn't happen in a vacuum—”

“I don't want to hear it!” His yell echoing through the house, he glanced at her with eyes struggling to conceal the pain within, then turned toward their bathroom. “I'm not telling you again,” he said, his voice no longer a shout but no less insistent. “Go pack Sydney's clothes before this gets out of hand.”

As desperately as she wanted to fight him, Serena knew she had no choice. As the rush of running water crept from the bathroom, she darted inside long enough to grab a house robe.

As she advanced on Sydney's bedroom, her steps uneasy and uncertain as if walking in inky darkness, Serena coached herself.
Take your medicine, girl.
Many women who'd admitted to what she just had might be lying dead, half strangled, or severely beaten by an abusive husband right now. If the worst Jamie had in mind was to deprive her of his and Sydney's company for a few days, that was a blessing by comparison.

As much as she wanted to believe that, it didn't stop the choked sob that rushed up her throat when she reached her daughter's closet. More than anything, she found herself haunted by that afternoon that Tony brought Dawn home, when Sydney sat on Jamie's lap and thanked her parents for staying together. What had she said?
I don't ever want Daddy to leave again.
Not only was her nightmare coming true, this time Sydney was leaving with him.

Her eyes burned, but after the turmoil of the past months, Serena wasn't surprised when tears refused to come; she figured she was out of them by now. “Oh, Sydney,” she whispered, her words muffled as she hugged her daughter's favorite plaid sweater close. “Please forgive me. I tried. I really, really tried.”