The One Left Behind (The One Series) (4 page)

I try to shake that conversation out of my head for the moment. I’m home and all I want to do right now is take a nap in my own bed. My mom is going around moving boxes looking for items she feels I might need. Just when I think she is about to leave she surprises me yet again.

“Oh, by the way, I told Colin you were coming home today and he wanted to come by and see you. I figured you wouldn’t have a problem with that. I mean the more you see each other the better the chances of jogging something in your memory.” She says this with an innocent smile on her face which only frustrates me more.

She has
got
to be kidding me! Just one day, that’s all I want. One day to relax and not feel the pressures of having to remember what I forgot. But no, why would my mother think I needed that? This shouldn’t be awkward at all.

Hey, I know I totally forgot who you are, but other than that, how are things going?

Okay, to be fair my mom said it was alright for him to come over so it isn’t his fault. But how am I supposed to feel or even go about handling this situation? Unfortunately, there is no guide book on how to act when meeting your fiancé you forgot about. That’s not even what frustrates me the most. I’m supposed to love this man enough to marry him. How can you forget the person you want to spend the rest of your life with? Surely you would feel something when you see him, no? What if I see him and his face doesn't bring back any memories? Do I shake his hand? Give him a hug? Oh, god, what if he goes in for a kiss? This meeting can either be a good thing or a very bad thing. I hope it ends up being good because I really don’t want to upset Colin if my memory fails me when I see him for the first time. My nerves are starting to get the best of me as I grip my stomach and start to feel queasy.

I can’t do this.

As I’m about to be a coward and tell my mom that I’m not feeling well and ask her to reschedule, my front door opens.

I see this man who should be familiar to me standing in the entryway of my home. I give him a tight smile and a slight wave as he shuts the door completely. Oh god, did I actually just wave?
Real smooth, Addison.

“Hey, sorry I’m so used to using my key to let myself in. I probably should have knocked, huh?”

I stand here and take a good look and I can see why I would be attracted to him. I take in the posture of his broad shoulders and notice he looks every bit as uncomfortable as I feel. I squint my eyes taking in every feature of his face. I study his deep blue eyes that I could easily lose myself in. My eyes wonder over his short, dirty blonde hair that is styled away from his face and travel down his sculpted body. I’m hoping there will be some spark if I look at him close enough. After what seems like a few minutes, I stop checking him out and start to panic as I still have no memories of Colin. I see his well-defined jaw tense, and I immediately know he can see I don’t remember him. The hurt expression on his face says it all and it breaks my heart just a little for him.

THIS IS THE first time I’ve seen her since the night of the accident other than when she was sleeping in the hospital. I stop in the foyer and just stare at her. I’m mesmerized by her beauty; I always have been. She’s staring back, gaping at me. Her dirty blonde hair is tied up in a messy knot at the top of her head. I take in the gentle curves of her face and long to cup her jaw with one hand as my other hand skims along her slim waist to pull her close to me. I glance down at her full lips. The urge to run to her and devour her in a kiss is so strong it’s hard to stay rooted in my spot. Finally, I look back up into her piercing blue eyes as she stares wide eyed at me. Then my heart shatters into a million pieces as I see that there is no memory of me within them.

Taking her in, I’m transported back to the first time I laid eyes on her. I remember it like it was yesterday.

I was working at a bar called Docs while I finished up law school. Jeremy worked with me too. I saw the most gorgeous girl I had ever seen walk up to the bar and sit down with her friend. Jeremy being Jeremy, he immediately set his sights on her and was about to make his move. That’s when I did something I had never done to him before. I cockblocked. I told him there were girls down at the other end of the bar asking for him. He, of course, went over to investigate. That’s when I made my move.

“Hi, what can I get you to drink?” I said.

“I’ll have a cosmo, and she’ll have a beer,” her friend said. For some reason, Gorgeous still wouldn’t look at me, but I wasn’t giving up. I made their drinks and came back.

“So, you girls come here often?” Her friend immediately started laughing. Okay, so it wasn’t the smoothest line in the world and slightly cliché, but I needed a way to start conversation. Looks like I would have to come up with something else since her friend was obviously a ball buster.

“Okay, that was cheesy. Let me start over. My name is Colin.” I held out my hand to her friend first. I figured I’d need to win her over if I stood any chance with Gorgeous. “I’m Colby,” she responded. I held out my hand to Gorgeous and said, “And your name is….” She finally looked up at me and I felt all the air leave my lungs. Her eyes were so blue you could almost see through them. I could tell right then that those eyes could make me do anything. Man, was I in trouble. She shook my hand and said, “I’m Addison.” Then she did the cutest thing I’d ever seen. She blushed. I liked how she was shy and clearly embarrassed. I held on to her hand a little longer than necessary and found it difficult to let go.

“Are you girls here celebrating something or just letting loose?” I said as I kept my eyes trained on Addison. With that one look from her eyes, I was almost desperate to have her talk to me.

“No, nothing special, just letting loose,” she responds.

The three of us start an easy conversation. I learn that Addison is a trauma nurse at the emergency room and that Colby is on her third major which is currently fashion design. I tell them I’m in my last year of law school and will be studying for the bar exam soon. After a while I can see Addison relax a little and I think she’s having a good time talking to me. She’s smiling and laughing which makes me happy thinking that she’s enjoying my company.

“So, a trauma nurse, huh? You must see all kinds of things working in the emergency department.”

Addison was about to take a sip of her drink when I saw her eyes light up. She must really love her job. A smile spreads across her face as she begins speaking with a passion in her voice I haven’t heard all night, and to be quite honest it turns me on.

“All kinds of things and then some. That’s one thing I love about the trauma unit. You never know what you’re going to get. Your night can range from a simple case of a sore throat to having to scrub in on an emergency heart surgery.”

“So, you get to see gore. That’s cool.” Oh, god, I’m an idiot.
You get to see gore?
Could I sound like a bigger loser if I tried? I physically want to punch myself for making such a dumbass comment. She laughs at my interpretation of her job which helps ease the awkwardness a little. Suddenly her expression falls a little as if recalling a bad memory.

I wonder if I’d upset her with my comment and started to apologize when she says, “It’s not the gore that gets to me. I don’t get grossed out being exposed to it, but you have times where you do all you can and it just isn’t enough. Not enough to save someone’s life. And then you have to witness the family’s devastation when you pretty much shatter their world and deliver their life changing news. Those are the days I don’t like my job.”

I admired the sincerity in her voice. I can tell she’s an excellent nurse and obviously good at what she does. With passion like that, how could someone not be?

Colby makes a dramatic sigh clearly not enjoying this part of the conversation.

“Uh, moooood kill,” she said, “Can we please talk about something else? We’re supposed to be letting loose, not talking about death. What a buzz kill.”

I laugh at Colby and offered my sincerest apologies which are free shots for killing her buzz. I turn my attention to the other customer at the bar who needs a drink and excuse myself. I continue to stay by Addison as much as I can the remainder of the night.

Finally, I work up the nerve to ask her what I’d been wanting to ask her since the moment she caught my eye.

“Addison, what do you say we go out for dinner one night?” I give her my best grin that usually wins over the ladies. Her cheeks flush and I think this is a good thing.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea.” Uh, okay, maybe blushing isn’t a good thing.

“Why not?”

“I don’t really know you that well. You could be some crazy stalker for all I know.”

“Yeah, I mean you did use that God awful pick up line,” Colby said, snickering. Are these girls kidding me?

“Really? How about something casual? I won’t even pick you up so I won’t know where you live. Then, you don’t have to worry about me stalking you. Yet.” I give her a wink to let her know I’m kidding. I can still see her hesitation. “Come on,” I continue, “we can meet somewhere super public so if you feel like you need to be rescued there will be plenty of people to come to your aid.”

She squints her eyes a little but then the slightest grin spreads across her lips and I feel like I’m about to win the lottery. “Okay.”.

“Can I get your number then?” I feel a renewed sense of self confidence since she’s agreed to go out with me.

“Nope.” So much for that self-confidence. “I’m still not convinced you’re not a psycho. I’ll meet you at Cup of Joes. Does 10:30 tomorrow morning work for you?”

“I’ll be there,” I said with the cheesiest grin. I don’t want to seem too desperate and try to hide my smile, but I can’t. I got a date with the most stunning and intriguing woman I’ve ever seen in my life.

I hear Addison clear her throat and I realize I’ve been staring at her as I took my trip down memory lane. I shake my head to get out of my daze and look back to her. She gives a half smile and waves at me. She immediately looks embarrassed after she does it. It almost makes me smile since I was just remembering how she would blush and get embarrassed the first time we met.

“Hey, sorry. I’m so used to using my key to let myself in. I probably should have knocked, huh?” I ask her as I give a slight shrug and an awkward smile.

Oh, God. This is more awkward than I could have imagined. I want so badly to hug her and hold her in my arms, but I can tell by her stiff body language that that is the last thing she wants.

“Do you mind if I come in?” I ask her.

“No, please forgive me. Things have just been weird for me the last few days. Please, have a seat.” She gives me a small smile which helps relieve some of the tension.

I was hoping the mere sight of me would help jog her memory, but as I look into her eyes, I can see there is no recognition in them. And that cuts me even more.

“So, how are you feeling?” I ask her.

She sighs, “I’m fine, all things considered.” I try to give her a tight smile, but my mouth doesn’t quite do it. “I don’t really know what to say. I mean forgive me, but this is really awkward for me. I know you were, or are, important in my life, but I just can’t place you. You know what I mean? It’s so frustrating and I’m trying so hard but keep coming up with nothing.”

She’s starting to ramble which is what she does sometimes when she’s nervous or uncomfortable. She either rambles or blushes like crazy. “It’s okay,” I tell her. “I think we need to be patient. From what I understand it can come back at any moment. Maybe you shouldn’t stress so much over it and try to relax.” I’m hoping if she relaxes that things will ease back to her. I also want her to see that I’m here to support her through this.

She lets out a big breath, “Okay, maybe I’ll try the relaxed approach. I’ve just been looking for something, hoping it wakes my brain up so I can remember everything.” She sounds defeated and I hate the tone of her voice at this moment. I need to do something.

“Do you want me to talk about some things and see if any of it sounds familiar?”

“Sure, I guess it can’t hurt at this point.” She sounds so resigned to not regaining her memory. She needs to snap out of it and fight for it, fight for us.

“Okay. Let’s see. We met at the bar I worked at, Docs. I used a terrible pick up line on you which Colby and you still haven’t let me live down. Does that sound familiar?” She shakes her head. “What about our second date when we went to the movies and a dirty little kid put gum in your hair? You had to cut your hair off to about your shoulders to get it out.” Her eyes are cut slightly to the left and she’s chewing on the inside of her cheek. She shakes her head again, so I continue. “What about all the late nights you helped me study for the bar exam? You would make me my favorite snacks and keep a pot of coffee constantly brewing. Or all the strolls along the beach holding hands and the sunsets we watched together because it’s your favorite time of day?” I’m getting desperate for her to recall anything I’m telling her and keep pouring out memories one after another when she holds her hand up to stop me and closes her eyes. I can sense she’s about to say something I’m not going to like.