The One I Trust (31 page)

“I’m so happy to see you, too,” he said, smiling.

“When did you get glasses?”

“I don’t know,” he shrugged. “Mommy says I have to wear them.”

“Can I hold them for a minute?” I asked.

“Sure.”

He took them off, handed them to me and I put them in front of my eyes. Things didn’t look one bit different.

“Do you like wearing these?” I asked.

“Not really,” he said. “But Mommy says if I don’t wear them I’ll get sick.”

“Mmm-hmm.” I nodded. “How about if I hang on to them for a little while and we see how you do without them?”

“Okay,” he agreed easily.

I gave him another hug and held him for one more minute, and then I pulled back to look at him again before saying, “Hey. Guess what?”

“What?”

“You remember Hale?”

He nodded.

“Hale’s out in the lobby,” I said. “He can’t wait to see you.”

Noah’s eyes brightened.

“Is Molly here?”

“No,” I said, shaking my head. “She’s in school.”

“Molly’s in school?”

“Yes.” I nodded. “She’s in kindergarten.”

He thought about that for a moment. “I’m in first grade,” he said. I nodded and tried not to tear up again. “Can I see her after she gets out of school?”

“Sure,” I said. “Maybe we can have dinner with her.”

“Really?” He seemed more excited about this than anything else he’d learned in the last few minutes.

I nodded.

“And there’s someone else out there that wants to see you, too,” I said.

“Anneka?”

“No,” I said, shaking my head. “I mean, Anneka’s going to want to see you, but that’s not who’s out there.”

“Who is it?”

I’d been kneeling in front of Noah, but now I sat cross-legged on the floor and pulled him into my lap.

“You know that Mommy and I used to be married,” I began, “but now we’re not, right?”

He looked me in the eye and nodded.

“Well,” I went on. “Sometimes after people get divorced, they fall in love with someone else and then they get married again.”

“You got married again?”

“Yes,” I said carefully. “Her name is Emily.”

He thought about it for a moment. “So,” he said matter-of-factly. “She’s my stepmom.”

“That’s right. When did you get so smart?”

“I just am.” He smiled and I smiled back.

“Do you want to go see Hale and meet Emily?” I asked, although I could have easily sat and held him on my lap for eternity.

“Yeah,” he said, standing up. “Let’s go.”

I stood up too and he took my hand, leading the way. As we passed a trash can—after I made sure he wasn’t watching—I threw his glasses away.

Noah kept hold of my hand as Stu held the door open for us and we walked out of the room. When we went through the doors back out into the lobby, we saw Hale and Emily sitting down in vinyl chairs. They both turned their heads at the same time, looking at Noah first and then at me. Emily covered her mouth with one hand and closed her eyes like she was trying to keep everything inside from spilling out. Hale just broke into a big smile and stood up.

“Noah!” he said, striding toward us. “Look at you!”

“Hi, Hale,” Noah said, giving him a little wave like seeing him after all this time was no big deal.

Hale knelt down beside him.

“It’s so good to see you, Noah,” Hale said, running a hand along his blonde hair.

“You’re supposed to call me Colby now,” Noah informed him. “Mommy said that nobody can know that I’m Noah.”

Hale glanced at me for guidance, but I just shook my head and gave him a little shrug to let him know that we were in uncharted waters and I had absolutely no idea how to proceed right now.

“Do you care if I call you Noah?” Hale asked.

Noah looked up at me uncertainly.

“Everybody knows that you’re Noah,” I said. “It’s okay now.”

He still looked unsure.

“Remember how I said that Mommy did some things that were wrong?”

He nodded.

“She wasn’t supposed to change your name either,” I said. “I promise you that it’s okay for you to be Noah.”

“My teacher’s going to be mad,” he said. “My desk and books and everything all say ‘Colby.’”

I smiled at him. “What’s your teacher’s name?” I asked.

“Ms. Veronica.”

“Do you like Ms. Veronica?”

He nodded.

I smiled again.

“Listen,” I said. “I’ll talk to Ms. Veronica and we’ll get everything worked out. She’s not going to be mad, I promise. Okay?”

He gave me another nod and turned back to Hale.

“You can call me Noah,” he decided, and Hale grinned and gave him a big hug.

“You know,” said Hale, “Molly is going to be so excited to see you again! I can’t wait for you guys to get together. She has missed you
so
much.”

Noah grinned back, gave a happy jump in the air, and clapped his hands.

I smiled down at him and then noticed that Emily was still sitting in her chair, watching. I crooked my finger at her.

She looked at me for a second and then hesitantly stood up, smoothing her skirt with her hands. She walked slowly toward us and stood beside Hale, looking down at Noah.

“Noah,” I said. “This is Emily. Emily, this is Noah.”

“Hi, Noah,” she said, leaning down and extending her hand. “It’s very nice to meet you.”

“It’s nice to meet you, too,” he said, shaking her hand. Then he looked at her and said, “You’re my stepmom.”

I don’t think Emily had thought about that fact yet. Her mouth opened slightly in surprise.

“Well, I guess you’re right,” she said. “I am your stepmom.”

“My friend Tyler has a stepmom,” he said.

“Oh, really?”

“Yeah. She has a parakeet.”

“Oh,” Emily said. “A parakeet.”

“Yeah. It can bark like a dog.”

“Really?”

“Yeah.”

“Well, that’s pretty cool,” Emily said. He nodded at her and she smiled before going on. “I’m really glad to meet you.”

He returned her smile. “I’m glad to meet you, too.”

The afternoon was busy with calls to Tori’s mom, to Charlotte, and to Jarrett. Tori’s mom asked if she could come over, and I told her of course she could. She held Noah and kissed him and fussed over him for nearly two hours until Hale and Anneka arrived with Molly, and then she left so that Molly could take over hugging and kissing and fussing. As she was leaving, I pulled Tori’s mom aside and promised her that she could see Noah any time she wanted.

“Thank you,” she said as she hugged me good-bye. “I’m so . . .”

She choked back tears and couldn’t finish her sentence. I didn’t know if she’d been planning to say that she was so sorry for what Tori had done or that she was so happy that we had Noah back, but I nodded just the same. Either way, I agreed with her completely.

That night, after he’d taken a bath, brushed his teeth, and put on one of my old T-shirts to wear as pajamas, I lay down next to Noah in bed. He settled back on Emily’s pillow and I propped myself up on one elbow so that I could look at him forever.

He looked back at me.

“Hey!” he said in surprise, catching a glimpse of my wrist. I had just taken my watch off. “That says ‘Noah’!”

“It sure does,” I agreed.

“That’s me.” He smiled.

I smiled back. “I know.”

“Is it a tattoo?”

“Yep.”

“Do you still have your other one?” he asked.

“They don’t go away . . .”

“Can I get a tattoo?” he asked.

“Sure you can,” I said. “As soon as you turn eighteen.”

This didn’t seem to discourage him at all. “Mine’s going to say, ‘Daddy.’”

I smiled at him again.

He was quiet for a moment.

“Can I get one that says, ‘Mommy,’ too?” he asked, looking up at me.

“Sure you can.”

He thought for another moment and then looked at me worriedly.

“Or should I get one that says, ‘Emily’?”

“You don’t have to choose,” I said. “Emily and I are always going to take care of you, but Mommy will always be your mommy, and
all
of us love you.”

“I miss Mommy,” he said, tears welling up in his eyes.

“I know you do, buddy,” I said, kissing the top of his head. “And Mommy misses you, too.”

“Can I go see her?”

“Yes,” I said. “I’m not sure exactly when, but I’ll definitely make sure that you two get to see each other, okay?”

“Okay,” he said quietly. Then he asked, “Are you mad at her?”

I hesitated. “Kind of,” I finally admitted, nodding. “She kept me away from you for a really long time and I missed you a lot.”

“I missed you, too,” he said. I kissed him again.

Noah fell asleep in my arms. As I lay there holding him, I thought how nothing in the world would ever compare to this feeling. I closed my eyes and pressed my forehead against the top his head, and I thanked God over and over and over for bringing him back to me.

“Is he asleep?” I heard Emily whisper.

I opened my eyes and nodded.

“Lie down,” I whispered back, indicating the spot on the other side of Noah. She hesitated for only a brief moment and then gently lay down next to him. Noah didn’t move.

“He’s a sound sleeper like you,” Emily noted.

He was curled up between us with his face burrowed into my chest. I smiled and kissed the top of his head and then leaned over him to kiss Emily gently on her lips. I reached up to stroke her cheek. She smiled back.

“I love you,” I said quietly.

“I love you, too,” she replied.

I looked at her for a moment.

“You didn’t sign on for any of this,” I noted.

She looked at me questioningly.

“This,” I explained, looking down at Noah. “All of a sudden, you’re a stepmom and everything’s going to be completely different now and you didn’t even get to have a say in it . . .”

“Reid!” she said, sounding genuinely surprised. She was still whispering, but she was quite emphatic. “I wouldn’t want things any other way.”

“I don’t have any idea what he’s been through,” I warned. “We don’t know what we’re going to be dealing with here . . .”

“It doesn’t matter,” she said, shaking her head. “Whatever he needs, we’ll make sure he gets it.”

I looked at her gratefully. “I love you so much.”

She smiled at me. “I love you, too.”

“The first thing he needs is his own bedroom,” I said. “We’re going to have to clean up the spare room tomorrow.”

“Okay.”

“And we’re going to have to buy a bed.”

“Maybe we could go to the thrift store,” she suggested.

“I was actually thinking about asking Charlotte to help us,” I admitted.

“Really?”

“Yeah. Or maybe Jarrett. I mean, he is their first grandchild, and these are kind of special circumstances, right?”

“Right,” she agreed, smiling again. “Pretty special circumstances.”

I wound up sending a text to both Charlotte and Jarrett first thing the next morning, telling them that the first one to respond would get to have the privilege of buying Noah a brand-new bed. Jarrett won by answering me in about fifteen seconds, and Charlotte came in at a close second just after that. I consoled her by replying that she could get him a dresser.

That wound up working out well because I told Noah that he could pick out whatever he wanted when we went to the furniture store and he chose a bunk bed that had a slide with a dresser underneath.

“Do you know how hard it is to make up a bunk bed?” Emily whispered in the store as Noah scrambled up the ladder for a third time.

“I’ll do it,” I promised.

“That’s not the point,” she said. “I just want to make sure you know what a pain it is.”

Noah slid down the slide again with a happy squeal and I was certain that I absolutely didn’t care.

After our bed decision, we went shopping to get him new clothes to put in his dresser and his closet, and then Hale met us at the house to help me put the bed together. After it was assembled, Emily and I made it up with the new sheets we’d purchased and I discovered just exactly how hard it was to make up a bunk bed.

“I
told
you,” Emily said, raising an eyebrow at me as I struggled to lift a corner of the mattress.

“I’ll let you go down the slide,” I promised.

That night Emily came in to find me squeezed in the new bunk bed beside Noah. She looked up at me, smiled, and then stepped up on a wooden bar so that she could reach to give me a kiss on the cheek.

“Good night,” she whispered.

I smiled at her in the darkness and she went out of the room.

“Noah?” I said after she was gone.

“What?” he asked sleepily.

“After you fall asleep I’m going to go sleep in my bed.”

“Why?” he asked, sounding much more awake now.

“Lots of reasons,” I said. “The main one is that this bed is way too small for both of us.”

That wasn’t really the main reason.

“I’ll move over.” He tried to slide closer to the edge.

“No, buddy,” I said. “This is your bed and your room and you need to sleep in here by yourself. I’m going to be right next door. If you need anything, all you have to do is call me.”

“Promise?”

“Yes,” I said. “I promise. I’ll be right next door.”

He thought about it for a moment.

“But you’ll wait until I fall asleep?”

“Yes.”

“And then if I call you, you’ll come back?”

“Yep.”

“Okay.”

I kissed the top of his head and breathed in the scent of him.

“I love you so much,” I whispered.

“I love you, too, Daddy.”

It didn’t take him long to fall asleep and—once he did—he was dead to the world.
Just like me . . .

That was a good thing, too, because it was no quiet task for a grown man to get out of a bed and climb down a ladder that had been clearly designed for a seven-year-old.

The lights were out, but Emily was still awake when I came into our bedroom and crawled in bed with her.

“What are you doing?” she asked in surprise.

“Coming to bed.”

“I thought you were going to sleep in there with him.”

“You thought wrong,” I said.

“Is he okay?” she asked worriedly.

“Sound asleep.”