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Authors: Jeanette Murray

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She pinched his arm and he yelped. “Stop saying that. Tim wouldn’t care.”

“So why haven’t you told him you and I hooked up?”

“I hate that term.”

“Why haven’t you told him you and I are doing the—”

She clapped a hand over his mouth to stall any crude remarks he was about to make.
It was a point he wanted to prove, she knew. Reducing what they had to the most basic,
primitive form. A defense mechanism. But that didn’t mean she had to enjoy it.

“How do you know I haven’t told him we’ve been having an affair?” She stressed the
word affair, voice tightening.

The corner of his mouth twitched.

“Okay, so I didn’t. But I could. I would. I will.”

Jeremy shook his head. “No you won’t. Because this is the last night. So it doesn’t
matter. If you tell your brother now, he’s going to think I’m using you for an easy
lay because this isn’t going anywhere. And then he’d kill me. And you don’t want to
be responsible for my death.”

“Ha. Little does he know, you were the one playing hard to get.” She jabbed him in
the ribs and he gave a cough of surprise before rolling her under him, pinning her
arms down at her sides. “I’m a big girl and I can take care of myself. He won’t care,
Jeremy.”

“He will,” Jeremy said flatly.

She sighed and realized she couldn’t predict her brother’s actions. Hell, a year ago
she would have laughed if anyone told her he’d elope in Vegas with a woman he’d met
an hour earlier… but that’s what he did. She just couldn’t say. “He might. But that’s
his problem.”

“And it’s my teeth he’ll knock out, and your family relationship he’ll screw up. Just
let it go, Mad. We’ve had fun. We satisfied the curiosity.”

“But we—”

“No.” There was a cold finality to his voice that hadn’t been there before. “Don’t
push.”

He didn’t have to tell her twice. Though her instinct was to plow on, to keep needling,
digging, find out what the true root was, she knew the limit. Push harder and he’d
break. So for now, she nodded and rested her head on his shoulder. “All right.”

“This has to be it, you know. We can’t keep sneaking and doing this. It’ll only get
harder.”

“All right,” she agreed easily, though it was a total lie. Any man who called just
to have a napping buddy wasn’t about to give in so quickly. He might convince himself
he would. But she knew better.

***

Veronica cruised into the apartment, in a great mood thanks to a good shift at work.
If she kept this up, she’d be able to pay back the rest of the money she owed Skye
and Tim for the car they helped her buy ahead of schedule. It wasn’t much to begin
with, and they’d begged her to accept it as a gift. But she couldn’t. Not without
feeling guilty. So she took the loan for the car—how else would she get around?—and
was ready to pay it off as soon as possible.

Just one more step in the direction to total independence.

“Hey,” Madison called from the built-in desk in the hallway. “How was work?”

“Good, thank you.” She made a side trip to the kitchen to grab a cup of water. Much
as she wanted to take one of Madison’s bottles for convenience sake, Skye had given
them the water pitcher with the filter and she would use it.

As she walked back to the hallway, intent on heading to her room for a quick nap before
cracking open her textbooks, Madison waved her over.

“Come here. Dwayne, you’ve met Veronica, right?”

Dwayne? She glanced at the screen and saw, yes, Dwayne Robertson smiling at her. Or
at least, she assumed he was smiling at her.

“I sure have, squirt. Hey there, Ronnie.”

“Veronica,” she corrected automatically, then winced at how uptight she sounded.

His grin widened. “Sure thing. How’s kicks?”

“Kicks?” What in the world could that possibly mean?

“Kicks. Things. What’s going on, in other words.” He looked confused by her uncertainty.
“Never heard that expression before?”

She waved it off, using one of her practiced excuses. “Sorry, I’m a…” What was that
phrase Madison used all the time? “A little out of it. Long day at work.”

He smiled and nodded understandingly. Momentary crisis averted.

Madison glanced at her cell phone sitting by the keyboard. “I got a text from work
asking me to come in an hour early.”

Veronica glanced down and realized Madison was in her work scrubs. “That’s unfortunate.”

“No kidding. Murphy’s Law rules around here. But D and I just got started talking,
and I know he misses me so super much.”

“Uh-huh.” Dwayne made a face, and Madison returned the gesture with a big, exaggerated
kiss. “Who wouldn’t miss a squirt like you?”

“Don’t call me that. And I’m going to leave you in Veronica’s capable hands. I have
to jet. Sorry, sweetie; we’ll catch up again soon!” Before either of them could protest,
Madison blew him a kiss through the screen, grabbed her cell phone and keys off the
desk, and ran for the front door, slamming it behind her.

Veronica stared after her for a moment, then blinked. “That was fast.”

“That was Madison.”

“Right.” She gripped the back of the chair Madison had just vacated. “Do you want
me to let you go? I’m sure you would love to rest or something. I won’t hold you to
it.”
Please
say
yes. Please say no.

Why was she so conflicted? She hardly knew the man. No, she didn’t know the man at
all. A few conversations via Skype did not make her acquainted. She’d never even shaken
his hand.

“I could always use a touch of home. Could you sit? I can’t see your face where you’re
standing. Right now all I’ve got is a great shot of your, uh… shirt,” he finished
dully, then coughed. Even through the computer screen, she could see his face flush
a little.

She looked down at her work shirt, all black, and wasn’t entirely sure what was so
embarrassing about it, but she sat down anyway. And immediately wanted to groan in
satisfaction. “Oh, that feels good.”

“Long day at work, you said?”

“Very. But satisfying. Of course, not as important a day as you probably had,” she
added quickly.

“A satisfying day is always important, no matter who gets it,” he replied easily,
stretching back with a yawn, his arms reaching up overhead. His olive shirt raised
up just a little to expose his stomach, flat and tan, with a thin line of hair running
down into the waistband of his shorts. Veronica’s cheeks flushed, and she felt a little
flutter in her own belly. Why did she constantly feel something strange when she spoke
to this man?

“Are you safe out there?”

He shrugged. “Safe as you can get on a deployment, I’d say. I’m rarely even outside
the wire. Outside the perimeter of camp,” he clarified. “Not much sinister action
going on in here.”

“But that’s good. I want you to be safe!” she blurted out.

He smiled. “Do you?”

“Well, yes. Of course.” She looked away, his intense gaze making her uncomfortable.
“I want everyone to be safe.”

“Ah. Naturally.” He settled back in his chair, the squeak of the metal heard even
through the speakers. “So how are you getting along with Madison? She a good roommate?”

“She’s great.” Veronica relaxed, glad to be back on more even ground. “I couldn’t
ask for a better roommate. Though she’s not even here most of the time, it seems.
Our schedules are so conflicting. But the place is nice. And I like having my own
space.”

“Right. So many Marines room together to save up on cash, and I can see the appeal
of that. But when I’m home, I want my own area. I don’t want to trip over three other
guys to get my cereal in the morning.”

She grinned at the mental image of a room full of Marines all in sleeping bags, like
a slumber party. “Sort of like how you’re living right now?”

He chuckled. “Luckily, with this deployment I have my own box.” He stood and all she
got was the image of his torso again. Then she heard a metallic ping and he sat down
again. “Hear that?” When she nodded, he said, “That’s my aluminum box. My own little
dorm room. Just a little slice of privacy out here.”

He tilted his head. “So when you’re not at work or enjoying your own space, what are
you doing?”

“Oh, reading. Hanging out with Madison or Skye and Tim. Or learning about the city,
since I’m still so new.” Understatement of the century, as Madison would say. She
fiddled with the edge of her bag sitting on the floor by her chair.

“No guy?”

“Hmm? Guy? There’s Tim. And Jeremy sometimes, when we all hang out together.”

“No, I mean, no boyfriend?”

“Oh.” There was that low buzz in her belly again. “Uh, no. No… boyfriend.” That was
on her list as well, just not quite yet.

He frowned. “Hard to believe a girl who looks like you, sweet as you are, doesn’t
have a guy waiting in the wings.” Then his frown shifted, morphed into a slow smile
that put her a little on edge. “Can’t say I’m upset by hearing that, though.”

Something gave her the instinct to run, and she gave in to it. “I think I need to
go now.”

“Now?” He checked his watch. “You just sat down.”

“I know, I’m sorry. I just… I have so much to do today. I’m sorry.” Before he could
respond, she clicked the disconnect button, then felt like the worst sort of person.
Who hung up on a deployed Marine because they asked a simple question?

She still had so far to go. And eventually she would need to make amends to Dwayne
for her poor behavior. But not right now. Not while her hands were still shaking,
just a little.

Chapter 15

Jeremy was five kinds of fool. No, ten. Infinite. There were no words to describe
what a moron he was. But somehow, despite this rousing pep talk he repeated on loop,
he ended up parked in Madison’s parking lot anyway, calling her cell phone.

“Hello?”

“Wanna go for a ride?”

She laughed. “Is this like you asking me to come over to your place for a nap?”

“No.” But he smiled at the memory. Napping… good. “I’m asking if you wanna go for
a ride. As in on the bike.”

“Oh! Sure. What’s your ETA? How long do I have to change?”

“I’m downstairs.”

“So negative five minutes. Check.” She hung up without saying good-bye. He pocketed
the cell and watched the parking lot. What he was looking for, he had no clue. But
he scanned anyway, routinely. Just another thing he hated about this whole affair.
The secrecy made him as jumpy as any deployment. He left his always-aware mentality
back in the sandbox… but it seemed as though this whole thing was reviving it. Exhausting
was the only way to put that.

“Hey.”

He jerked a little, steadying the bike between his legs. And taking a full look at
the woman standing before him.

Black leather molded to her legs without a whisper between the material and her skin.
A tight tank top skimmed over her breasts, barely covering her abdomen where the band
of her pants stopped. And a leather jacket dangled from one arm, paused in the act
of slipping it on.

“What?”

He shook his head. “Where’d this outfit come from?”

“Oh.” She slipped the jacket on the other arm and shrugged her shoulders to settle
it. “After our last ride, I just realized I might want to look more the part. Plus
I know leather protects better in the case of a spill.”

“True.” But what she wasn’t saying was that she’d assumed there would be more rides.
Though he was here, so could he really fault her for it? “So how about a Saturday
spin?”

“I can’t think of a better way to spend my day off. Now, where’s that ugly ass helmet?”

Uh, yeah. The other reason he knew he was a total goner. Reaching back, he retrieved
the helmet.

And almost went deaf at her squeals.

“It’s pink!” She grabbed the helmet from his hands and clutched it to her chest.

Point of fact, it wasn’t actually pink, at least not completely. It was still mostly
black. But he’d had the same bolt pattern painted on hers, only in a light pink color
rather than his own silver.

“You bought me a pink helmet?”

“Yeah, well, you said the other one was ugly.” She stared at him, eyes wide. He swiped
one hand through the air. “Don’t do that.”

“Don’t do what?”

“Don’t look into it. Don’t do that female analysis thing, okay? It’s just a helmet.”

“Okay,” she said, nodding gravely. But he could see the sparkle of humor in her eyes.
She popped it on and straddled behind him, wrapping her arms tightly around his waist.
“Let’s do this.”

He backed up, revved the engine just a little—he was a guy, after all, so sue him—and
drove out.

He knew exactly where he was heading, had a destination in mind. But she didn’t know
that, and he was enjoying the feel of her arms and legs squeezing around him with
every turn. So he took the long way to the park where they’d first come.

Even on a Saturday, it was deserted. But there were nicer parks for kids to play at,
so he wasn’t surprised. The parking lot was the real draw this time. He slowed to
a stop a good fifty yards away from the grass and waited for her to step off and remove
her helmet.

“Why are you parking over here?”

He killed the engine and stepped off. “Thought maybe you’d want a turn.”

“A turn for what?”

He motioned with his head to the motorcycle.

Again with the earsplitting shriek. “You’ll let me drive it? Your baby?”

“It’s not my baby,” he grumbled.

“Coulda fooled me.” She ran a hand reverently over the handlebars, and his skin tingled
with the reminder of what those fingers felt like over his own body. “So that’s why
we’re out here, in the empty lot.”

“Always best to learn somewhere you can’t kill anyone.”

“I’m not that bad a driver.”

“If you were, I wouldn’t let you touch her.”

“Her. See?” Madison gave a smug smile. “Told you this bike was your baby.”

“Hush. You want to learn or not?”

She rolled her lips in as a show of her silence and nodded.

“Okay. So, this is the handlebar.”

Madison groaned. But when he shot her a look, she widened her eyes innocently.

“This,” he said again, patting the part of the bike, “is the handlebar.”

***

“I can’t believe you let me drive her!” Madison jumped down and spun around on the
sidewalk in front of Jeremy’s apartment building. “That was fantastic! I think I want
one now.”

Jeremy chuckled and shook his head. “Not so fast. You’ve got a long way to go before
you’re ready to handle one all on your own.” But then he grinned. “Addicting though,
isn’t it?”

“Very!” She hopped up the first few steps toward his second-floor apartment before
halting. He brought her back here without asking. Not that she was arguing… but what
did that mean? Was he coming to accept their relationship? Or did he just want one
more lay for the road?

No, that was too callous, even for Jeremy. Maybe he didn’t even realize that he’d—

“Come on. Up you go.” He gave her a playful slap on the butt and nudged her up the
stairs.

Okay, so he realized. No problem for her. He unlocked the door and opened wide for
her, taking her jacket and draping it over the arm of the couch.

“Grab a drink or something if you want. I’ll be right back.” He headed down the short
hall and into the bathroom.

Madison grabbed a bottle of water—
sorry, Skye
—and sat down in his computer desk chair, swiveling around. Taking in the bare walls,
the mismatched furniture. The complete disregard for anything aesthetically pleasing.
It was almost like he tried hard to make the already unimpressive apartment seem worse
off. And why?

Her elbow bumped the mouse and the screen, previously in sleep mode, came to life.
Another word document. She saw the chapter heading, a new one from the last time,
and read on without guilt.

“I’m going to change really fast,” his voice called a moment later as he darted into
the bedroom. Clearly he didn’t see her, and lucky for it. Because she wasn’t going
to stop reading.

She scrolled, gasped softly, and quickly covered her mouth. No way did she want him
busting in and stopping her now. It was good. Fantastic. When the end came two quick
pages later, she found herself wondering how pissed he’d be if she searched for the
other chapters on his computer. If he’d written more past this. There was no way this
cliffhanger was the end.

This had to be his writing. She knew without a doubt. Jeremy’s voice was stamped all
over the page. His attitude, his thoughts, mannerisms… It was all him. And it was
unbelievably amazing.

“Well?”

She jolted, then turned around, suddenly feeling more guilty for reading than she’d
previously felt. “Uh… well what?”

He raised a brow. “Yeah, I’ve been standing here watching you read. Nice try, O’Shay.”

She rolled her eyes. “Can you blame me?” She held one finger in the air. “I’d like
to take this moment to point out that I wasn’t snooping on purpose. It opened by accident
when I bumped the mouse. I didn’t mean to.” When he said nothing, she burst out, “How
the hell can I read that and not want to keep going? Do you know how good you are?
Seriously, do you?”

He shrugged but wouldn’t meet her eyes. He stared at the blank wall to the left of
the desk, a flush creeping up his neck. “It’s just something I play around with when
I’m bored.”

This was more than play. It was finely crafted, honed, edited, sweated over. Loved
over. But she didn’t point that out. “Have you considered trying to get published?”

“No.” His voice was firm. “Writing isn’t a career. It’s just something to keep my
mind off… other stuff. It’s nothing. I could delete it and not care. I don’t even
know why I save it.”

She stared a moment at the man who sounded so lost. “Liar,” she said softly. “You
love it, don’t you?”

He said nothing.

Madison glanced around once more at the pathetic surroundings. “Is the reason you’re
saying that like the same reason you keep this place like this, when you could do
so much better? Do you think you don’t deserve to be happy about something?”

A muscle in Jeremy’s jaw twitched.

“It’s okay to love writing. I couldn’t do it, but I think you really have a way with
words. It’s not harming anyone.”

He scoffed at that but turned his face to hers. “It’s not something I talk about.
Okay?”

She nodded, knowing to push harder would be cruel. Despite his bluster, Jeremy’s heart
was tender and she knew that. “Sure. I won’t say anything—”

“Thanks.”

She held up a hand. “On one condition.”

He watched her warily. “I’m afraid to ask.”

She smiled. “Nothing so sinister as that. I just want to read the rest of it. If you’ll
let me. From beginning to end.”

He sighed. “There is no end. For now. But the beginning is all there. If you want
to read it sometime, that’s fine.”

Sensing he’d let down a very important, very serious wall, she stood and rewarded
him with a hug and a kiss. “Thank you. That means a lot to me.”

He grunted, but his arms came around her to squeeze.

They could do this. Little by little, she’d tackle the other walls he’d built up and
she would tear them down. With or without his help.

***

Jeremy reached for the lamp on his nightstand, wondering what woke him up. As his
hand contacted cool, empty sheets beside him, he sat up and stared around the bedroom.
Where the hell did Madison go?

Then a ringing sound penetrated his sleep-fogged brain. Phone. Yes, where the hell
was his phone? He rummaged through the items on his table and found it, flipping it
open a second before it would kick to voice mail.

“Phillips.”

“Jeremy. Third time I’ve called today. Where the hell have you been?”

“Dad?” Jeremy sat up, momentarily stunned. He rubbed his eyes and shook his head,
wishing he hadn’t answered the phone until he was more awake. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, except my own son doesn’t answer his father’s phone calls.”

Jeremy rolled his eyes and stretched, stepping out of the bed he and Madison had practically
wrecked earlier. As he grabbed a pair of jeans from the floor and slid them on, he
studied for any left behind clothing of hers. No sign of her in the bedroom. He stepped
into the hallway. Light was off in the bathroom, same in the kitchen and living room.
“I didn’t hear the phone ring.”

“It’s been a while since we talked. Not gonna call your old man to catch up?”

“You were just here. I didn’t realize I had to check in with you regularly. I thought
I was a grown-up.” His tone was annoyed, bordering on rude, but this wasn’t exactly
his finest moment either. Where the hell was she? He searched, but her jacket was
gone.

How the hell did she leave? He’d driven her over here, so she didn’t have her car.

“I’m just worried about my son. I’m hoping my visit straightened your head out. Checking
in to see if you’ve spoken to your monitor yet. Any clues on where he might send you
next?”

“No, I haven’t. And so therefore, no. No clues. You keep asking, and nothing’s changed.”
Ah, there. He picked up the piece of paper torn from one of his notebooks, covered
in Madison’s short, impatient handwriting.

Grabbed
a
cab. Needed at the hospital. Didn’t want to wake you. Thanks for the lesson.

She’d signed a big letter M. And at the bottom, under that, so quickly scratched he
almost couldn’t read it, she’d added,
I’ll miss you.

His heart clenched just a little at the reminder. That their time was limited.

“Jeremy.” His father’s sharp tone cut through the mental wandering. “Are you paying
attention?”

“Hmm? Yes, of course, sir. Could you repeat that last bit?” He sank down into the
computer chair, staring at the note without really seeing anything.

“I said you needed to get your head out of your ass and into gear. This is your career
we’re talking about. Have you even looked into grad school? A master’s is the ticket
for promotion here on out, you know that.”

“Not yet, sir.” He turned the paper over in his hands, wishing he’d had a chance to
say good-bye. “I’m not sure what I’d want to study. Still thinking about it.”

“Stop thinking, start doing. You’re a Comm guy. Get a degree in something communications
related. Hell, get a master’s degree in foozeball; it doesn’t matter. Just don’t waste
any more time.”

He set the note from Madison on his keyboard, bumping the enter key and flashing his
screen to life. The blinking cursor at the end of his last sentence captured his attention,
taunted him. Dared him.

“Maybe this isn’t for me.”

“Comm? It’s a little late to change your MOS now, son. You picked it, you’ve got ten
good years in. It’s a perfectly fine—”

“No, Dad. The Marines. Maybe I want to do something else.”

A stunned silence hummed through the phone, and he immediately wanted to take it back.

“There is nothing else. You’re a Marine. Just like me. This is what we do.”

“Dad, I—”

“I know what you’re going through,” his father said, more calm now. “I went through
it as well.”

“You did?” That was the first Jeremy had ever heard of it. He would have sworn on
a stack of Bibles his dad breathed the military, never wanted to do anything but.

“Sure did. I think most Marines go through this at one time or another. Perfectly
natural. Usually came up around deployment time, or around a long exercise. I’d think
how nice it might be to just be in one place for the rest of my life. Not move around
so much. Have some stability.”

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