The Novels of the Jaran (50 page)

Yeliana led her to the eating hall, a wood-paneled room flooded with sunlight through four huge windows in one wall and furnished with long tables and benches. The priests had clustered at one end of the room, and they shifted as she entered, moving to sit. Amid all the white, she saw a brilliant spot of red. He sat between two men, head bowed. As Yeliana guided Tess forward, Ilya glanced up toward them. His entire being froze.

Abruptly, he pushed himself up. The two priests on either side were on their feet, a hand on each of his shoulders, before he was halfway standing. He looked once to each side and sank back onto the bench. He did not look up again. The two men sat.

From another room, three men brought in platters of food. Tess ate earnestly, truly hungry, but she could not help but glance at Ilya at intervals. Like her, he had bathed; he had trimmed his hair and his beard, had probably washed at least his shirt, early enough so that it had had time to dry. He attended to his food with an assiduousness helped by the disapproval with which everyone treated him. It was a silent meal. When all had finished, three women took the dishes away. Everyone else stood.

“Mother Avdotya has asked that you stay here,” Yeliana explained, “so that you do not unwittingly disturb any of us at our duties. The rest of your party will surely arrive soon.”

Tess watched the priests leave. The hall was empty except for herself and Bakhtiian. He was gazing down at the table, one finger tracing patterns on the grain. Tess walked across the room to stare out one of the windows at the garden. But he followed her, stopping a few paces behind her.

“Tess.” His voice was quiet, unsure.

“I have nothing to say to you.”

“Tess, if I had known, if I had even suspected the risk to you, I would never—”

“Battles are not won by men who refuse to take risks.”

“What do you mean by that?”

“I’d rather not turn around to answer that question if you’re wearing your saber.”

“You needn’t address me in that tone, Tess. I’m perfectly aware that my actions yesterday were ill-advised.”

“Ill-advised!
They weren’t advised by anyone but yourself. You could have gotten me killed!” She turned to see his expression but the light falling on his face only brought out that blend of radiance and severity that made him so striking.

“Gods,” breathed Ilya, as if he could not help himself. “White suits you.”

Warmth spread up her cheeks. “This almost gives me sympathy for Vera Veselov. Is this how men of the jaran revenge themselves on women who don’t want them? Forcing them to marry them? My God, I think it is. I know it is.” He went pale with anger but that only made her reckless. “What is it you really want, Ilya? Me, or Jeds?”

“How dare you. Whatever you may think of me, I have honor.”

“Do you mean that it would be wrong to deceive me into marrying you to gain what I possess but not wrong to deceive me in order to—to what? To humiliate me by forcing me to become your wife?”

“To
humiliate
you?”

“I suppose you thought I’d be flattered.”

He looked as if she had just slapped him. “Yes,” he said hoarsely, “and why shouldn’t I have thought that? How many women do you suppose wish they were standing where you are now?”

“If so many women want you, then why didn’t you pick one of them?”

“Because I wanted
you.”

Tess went white. Said so baldly, the words terrified her. “It’s all war to you, isn’t it? You only wanted me because you thought I was something you couldn’t have.”

Silence fell between them. “I have heard enough,” he said in a low, unsteady voice.

“You’re afraid to hear any more.” She walked past him to the far corner, her head held high, knowing that she could have said nothing that would have hurt him more. Where had she gained such knowledge of him? A single drop of damp slid from one eye down along her nose to dissolve on her lips. She sat down on a bench and stared into the corner, determined to wait in stony and forbidding silence.

A moment later she heard voices. The door opened and a rush of feet and conversation entered.

“Well,” said Kirill’s voice above the rest. “It’s certainly cold in here.”

Tess brushed at her face with the back of one hand, stood and turned. Before anything, she noticed the distance between them—Bakhtiian still by the window, she in the corner farthest from him. No words could have spoken so clearly.

“Tess, what you are wearing?” Yuri asked, walking across the hall to her. Mikhal and Kirill followed him, leaving their four companions—the youngest of the jahar riders—by the door. The rest of the jahar was evidently elsewhere. “You haven’t given yourself into the service of the gods, have you?”

Her cheeks felt hot. “No, I haven’t. One of the priestesses lent this to me while my clothes dry.” She kept her gaze fastened on Yuri, afraid to look at the others, at Bakhtiian, especially afraid to look at Kirill. “They have hot springs here.”

“Hot springs!” Mikhal stepped up beside Yuri, and by doing so the two men—her brother and her brother-in-law—made almost a barrier between her and Kirill. “Are all of us welcome to use them?”

Kirill chuckled and merely spoke to her over their shoulders. “My heart, whatever did he do?”

“How long ago did you get here?” asked Yuri suddenly.

“Yesterday.”

“You can’t have, Tess. You can’t possibly have ridden fast enough to swing all the way around west and not even Ilya would be mad enough to risk that impossible trail at night, down the west slope.”

“The west slope? But we came—” She stopped dead. What an idiot she was. There must be another path, the
usual
path, that led down into the valley.

A swift, almost imperceptible glance passed between Yuri and Mikhal. “The Avenue,” muttered Mikhal.

“When did you get here?” asked Kirill, his face pale.

Tess sat down on the bench.

Kirill pushed past Yuri and Mikhal and rested his hands on the table, staring at her. “It’s true, isn’t it? You came at sunset.”

“Kirill,” said Yuri in an undertone. By the door, Konstans and Petre and Mitenka and Nikita whispered together, watching them. Mikhal had turned to stare at Bakhtiian. Ilya seemed frozen by the window, his back to them all. “Kirill,” Yuri repeated. “Don’t make a fool of yourself.”

“Did you come willingly?” Kirill asked in an undertone. He did not move. “Ought I to wish you happy?”

Tess stood up. “You have no right, Kirill, to play out whatever old grudge you have against Bakhtiian over
me.
You have no right to question me in that tone. I thought you were different from
him.”
As she spoke, she saw—felt—Ilya move, like a shadow along the wall, noiseless as he limped toward the door. The young men moved aside uneasily to let him pass. “No, I didn’t go willingly. No, you ought not to wish me happy. But it was done. There, does that satisfy you?”

Kirill went red and then white again and pulled back from the table. “Forgive me. I never meant—” He faltered.

“I know,” she said, softening. “You should have heard what I said.”

He grinned. “By the gods, I wish I had. I haven’t seen Ilya look that chastened since that day seven years ago when his aunt—”

“Kirill!” said Yuri.

“Well, never mind.” His face changed expression suddenly. “But that means he’s your husband.”

“Yes. We had just finished discussing that interesting fact when you came in.” But she saw by his face that he was connecting “husband” with “sunset” and leading them together to “night” and drawing a conclusion which he did not like at all. “Yes,” she added, feeling a certain malicious satisfaction in allowing herself to pass on this one piece of information, “he spent all night kneeling outside by the great doors. Or so I was told.”

Kirill smiled, but it was the ghost of his usual smile, more show than feeling. “I hope his knee hurts like fire today,” he said with vindictiveness that was unusual for him.

“Come on, Kirill,” said Mikhal abruptly. “Let’s go see about those hot springs.” He grabbed Kirill by the arm and dragged him away to the others and herded them all out.

Leaving her and Yuri. “Well?” Yuri asked.

“Well, what? Thank God I’m going back to Jeds.”

“It really is true?”

“Yes. You warned me, Yuri, and I didn’t listen. I never thought that he would go this far. I didn’t even know until it was too late.”

“He didn’t tell you, did he? Gods!” He laughed. “Oh, I beg your pardon, Tess, but how like him to never give up that kind of advantage. Of course he wouldn’t have told you, not until he was sure of his victory.”

“An appropriate choice of words.
He
didn’t tell me at all. Mother Avdotya told me about the Law of the Avenue, and what it means. I could have been killed!”

“Killed!” He hugged her. “What do you mean?”

She explained.

He pushed back to look at her. “Gods, you must be angry.”

“Do you know, that’s the funny thing. He really was sorry for that. It must have reminded him of his family. The one thing he thinks he did wrong is the one thing I can forgive him for. I can’t believe I really would have died, or that they would have let me die. I don’t know. Maybe we’re all blind that way about our own deaths.”

“Then you’re not too angry with him? You are his wife now, after all.”

Tess smiled sweetly. “I’m not angry with him, Yurinya. I’d happily kill him. But it wouldn’t do any good, would it? He’d just come back to plague me in his next life. No, I’m furious. I just wish I had a better vocabulary because I can’t think of any words bad enough in any of the languages I know that would truly express what I would like to call him.”

Yuri whistled. “You are mad, aren’t you? Khaja mud snuffler?”

“No, that’s not comprehensive enough. There might be a few phrases in Chapalii—oh, God, the Chapalii. Where are they?”

“Being shown to their rooms. Why do you ask? They went all sorts of colors in the face, you know, when we came out of the trees and saw the shrine for the first time.”

“I’ll bet they did. Damn. Do you trust me?”

“Yes.”

“Then go find out where their rooms are.”

“Tess.” He hesitated. “My duty to Ilya…”

“No, you’re right. I can’t ask that of you. I’ll have to do this myself.”

“Tess…”

“Yuri, I’m sorry. I have a duty to my brother that must now supersede my duty to your aunt, for gifting me into your tribe. Can you understand that?”

He sighed and looked unhappy, but he nodded. “I understand.”

“Go enjoy the hot springs. I’ll be all right here.”

He grimaced, kissed her on the cheek, and left.

She paced over to the window and stared out onto the bare lines of the garden. One bush trembled in the chill air with a few last leaves and four white flowers.

Footsteps sounded behind her, a heavier, measured tread. “Tess.”

She turned. “Niko. You’re not coming to plague me, too, are you?”

He chuckled and sat down on the table nearest her, letting one leg dangle. Dust rimmed his boot top, pale against the black cloth of his trousers. “I’ll be discreet. Now, Tess, since Ilyakoria is not inclined at present to be very talkative, I apply to you for the truth of a rumor that has spread through the entire jahar.”

“It’s true.”

“You rode down the Avenue together, at sunset?” She nodded. “And you went unwillingly?”

“Not unwillingly precisely. I went in complete ignorance.” Niko’s eyes widened. “Surely that doesn’t surprise you, Niko? Bakhtiian never gives up that sort of advantage.”

“I’m not sure I like your sarcasm. I may deplore the method, but you know very well that women have no choice in marriage.”

“You know very well that I am not a jaran woman, and that I am in any case leaving for Jeds when we get to the coast.”

“But you will still be married to him.”

“Yes, by the Law of the Avenue, by the law of the jaran, I will still be married to him. When I am in Jeds, I will still be married to him—by the law of the jaran. But I am not married to him by the laws of my land.”

“What about the laws of the heart?”

She spun away from him and walked right up to one of the great windows, putting her palm on the glass—no, it couldn’t be glass because it leaked no cold through it from outside—and stared at the white sheen of clouds above. “Hearts can be betrayed. I admit this much, that wherever I go, I will always be bound to him in some way.” She turned back. “But I will not submit to treachery.”

Niko considered her in silence. “Ah,” he said. “I think I need to have a talk with Ilyakoria. If you will excuse me?”

He left. Only the muted tapping of her foot on the floor disturbed the quiet in the hall. She felt, suddenly, as if her ears had been stuffed with cotton. The door opened and Yeliana appeared.

“Here you are,” she said brightly. “Just as you ought. Yurinya Orzhekov spoke with Mother Avdotya and said you might like to be shown round the shrine. She is about to lead the pilgrims round. It was their first wish, even before being shown their rooms.” She giggled, very like a girl and not a sober young priestess. “I suppose I’ve grown rather used to it, having never seen anywhere else. Would you like to come?”

Tess blinked and collected herself. “Why, yes,” she said, trying to imitate Yeliana’s careless tone. “I would. You were born here?”

“Yes. I don’t know who my parents are though. They always say I am the child of the gods, and all of them raised me.”

“Are many children born and raised here?”

“A few.” She shrugged. “Women and men, after all, will have children.”

“Do all of them stay to become priests?”

She smiled a rather secretive, knowing smile. “Where else have they to go? Being orphans. Not all of them, but most do. Here is Mother Avdotya, and the pilgrims.”

Tess suddenly realized the advantage in appearing in robes while the Chapalii, even Ishii, still wore tunics and trousers. Stewards wore clothing suitable for work. Lords wore robes, for wealth and governing and leisure. She inclined her head to Ishii, and to Garii and Rakii second. Then, feeling generous, she acknowledged the stewards. Robed, she was confirmed in rank. Ishii bowed; the others bowed. Mother Avdotya watched without comment or expression, and then requested that they follow her.