The No-cry Sleep Solution (31 page)

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work, you must truly feel ready to move those moments out of your sleeping time and into the light of day.

Worry About Your Baby’s Safety

We parents worry about our babies, and we should! With every night waking, as we have been tending to our child’s nightly needs, we have also been reassured that our baby is doing fine—

every hour or two all night long. We get used to these checks; they provide continual reassurance of Baby’s safety.

As soon as you decide to help your baby sleep for longer time periods, you will probably move into an overprotective “mother bear” response. When three, four, or more hours have passed, you may worry. Is she breathing? Hot? Cold? Wet? Tangled in her sheet? Lying on her tummy?

Mother-Speak

“The first time my baby slept five straight hours, I woke up in a cold sweat. I nearly fell out of bed and ran down the hall. I was so sure that something was horribly wrong. I nearly wept when I found her sleeping peacefully.”

Azza, mother of seven-month-old Laila

These are very normal worries, rooted in your natural instincts to protect your baby. Therefore, for you to allow your baby to sleep for longer stretches, you’ll need to find ways to feel confident that your baby is safe—all night long.

The best way to do this is to review Chapter 1 and take all necessary safety precautions. You may want to keep your bedroom doors open or your baby monitor turned on so that you know you’ll hear her during the night if she needs you.

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Co-sleeping parents are not exempt from these fears. Even if you are sleeping right next to your baby, you’ll find that you have become used to checking on her frequently through the night.

Even when she’s sleeping longer stretches,
you
aren’t sleeping, because you’re still on security duty.

Once you reassure yourself that your baby is safe while you sleep, you’ll have taken that first step toward helping her sleep all night.

Belief That Things Will Change on Their Own

You may hope, pray, and wish that one fine night, your baby will magically begin to sleep through the night. Maybe you’re cross-ing your fingers that he’ll just “outgrow” this stage, and you won’t have to do anything different at all. It’s a very rare night-waking baby who suddenly decides to sleep through the night all on his own. Granted, this may happen to you—but your baby may be two, three, or four years old when it does! Decide now whether you have the patience to wait that long, or if you are ready to move the process along.

Too Fatigued to Work Toward Change

Change requires effort, and effort requires energy. In an exhausted state, we may find it easier just to keep things as they are rather than try something different. In other words, when Baby wakes for the fifth time that night, and I’m desperate for sleep, it’s so much easier just to resort to the easiest way to get him back to sleep (rock, nurse, or replace the pacifier) than it is to try something different.

Only a parent who is truly sleep deprived can understand what I’m saying here. Others may be able to calmly advise, “Well if things aren’t working for you, just change what you’re doing.”

However, every night waking puts you in that foggy state where

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the only thing you crave is going back to sleep—plans and ideas seem like too much effort.

If you are to help your baby sleep all night, you
will
have to force yourself to follow your plan, even in the middle of the night, even if it’s the tenth time your baby has called out for you. The best defense here is to tell yourself, “In a month or two my baby will be sleeping all night long. I can do this for a few short weeks.” And you can. (Especially when you consider the alternative: dealing with night wakings for another year or more!) So, if after reading this section you’re sure you and your baby are ready, it’s time for you to make a commitment to change.

Now.
Tonight
. This is the time.

Get Your Baby Ready

This idea may help everyone.

Before you attempt to make any changes in your baby’s sleep routine, make certain that she is comfortable, healthy, and well fed.

A baby who is hungry, cold, or has an ear infection, allergies, or any other health problem may wake at night because of pain or discomfort. Rule out these issues before you embark on your plan for better sleep. (For more information on medical and health reasons that keep your baby up at night, please see Chapter 8.)
Fill That Daytime Tummy

Make sure your baby is getting enough to eat during the day, especially if he is exclusively breastfed or formula fed. Some babies get in the habit of nursing or drinking bottles all through the night, taking in an inordinate percentage of their daily calories then. To sleep longer at night, these babies need to tip the feeding scales back toward daytime.

For those little ones eating solids, make sure that
most
food choices are healthful ones. Sure, your toddler loves cheese and

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Mother-Speak

“My fourteen-month-old baby was waking up crying and taking forever to fall back to sleep. I was so frustrated and wide awake at one point that I brought him downstairs and turned on the TV. He let out a big yell, and by the light of the screen I could see inside his mouth—he had three huge purple and white bumps on his gums where his molars were coming