The New Year's Wish (4 page)

"Kayla what's wrong?"
"Nothing go back to sleep."
I didn't believe her for some reason and stayed where I was. Her breath became heavy and her voice cracked.
"Please...go back...to sleep."
I turned her around and she buried her face in her hands but I could feel the wet tears on my hands and wrists.
"Hey, what's wrong?"
She didn't answer but let the tears roll and I pulled her closer, rolling her over to face me, letting her tears soak the front of my t-shirt.
"I just really wanted to go to Paris." She finally said and her words brought another round of tears. I supported the back of her head with my hand and lay my arm protectively round her waist. We lay so close; her body was so warm and silky smooth.
"What's in Paris?" I noticed the jealousy again but hoped my voice didn't reveal it.
Wiping her eyes before telling my chest in the softest lowest voice I've ever heard from her, she said "My mom." Before I could ask, she continued.
"I see her every year on New Year´s, it's kind of a tradition."
"But baby..."
The words had slipped my mouth before I could stop them. I flinched inside and hurried to continue so she wouldn't notice my choice of words.
"She will understand when she finds out you were in a car accident."
"No!"
She began crying again, but this time the tears were big slow rolling drops while her face looked ashamed. I didn't understand why she was so hard on herself? Of course her mother would understand and she definitely needn't be ashamed! I also felt relieved she wasn't meeting some other guy.
"Why won't she understand?"
"Because..."
Her hand flew up and covered her eyes, like she felt so vulnerable I wasn't allowed to see her face now.
"What?"
I used my gentlest voice to try and coax her into telling me. I was curious and also a bit alarmed at what it might be that had her reacting this way.
"She's dead."
I was speechless. I could feel her pain roaming through her body, it was tangible and very, very real.
"Oh, I'm so sorry."
"I visit her grave every year..."
"...And this time you can't because you're here" I finished for her.
She nodded. I held her closer and whispered in her hair, stroking the last tears away from her cheeks.
"I will take you there as soon as you are well enough to go I promise. Don't cry Kay, it's ok...it's ok."
She tightened her grip around my waist and somewhere in between me consoling her and her moving closer I touched her cheek with my lips. She tilted her head back and our lips met. I didn't pull back and neither did she, and so our lips danced together for a while until my tongue got greedy and wanted to join. I searched for hers and soon found it and let my tongue glide around hers. Her heavy breathing and her hand squeezing into my waist woke up my cock. I grabbed her waist and let my hand slide down to the small of her back, not daring to go any further. She responded by arching her back and breathing and sighing. I bit her lower lip gently and her hand found my stomach underneath my t-shirt.
Occasionally I opened my eyes and watched her in glimpses; with her eyes closed and moving with pleasure in the trance our bodies created when they touched.
There was an unspoken rhythm between us and we undressed each other and kept kissing lips, necks, stomachs and nipples without exchanging any other sounds than soft moans and sighs. She was soft as silk and her breasts were warm, round and soft with the nipples completely hard. I felt my cock twitch and soon her small hand enclosed it with gentle strokes. All fears and worries were gone. I was in the here and now and so was she. We fit together perfectly, only touching each other gently but our bodies reacted with high pleasure at the lightest touch. Soon we were both naked and like a choreographed dance she let me slide in between her legs. I kissed the space between her stomach and her breasts and felt her fingers dig gently into the nape of my neck. I positioned myself before gliding with ease into her. She threw her head closer to mine and moaned. She was wet and welcoming. We rocked back and forth in a slow rhythm while we held our gaze. Her dark eyes became darker and bigger and her moaning was deeper. I picked up the pace and glided into her a bit harder. She began closing her eyes and her moan became higher. Our rhythm picked up in pace and I could feel her becoming tighter around me. My cock began to tighten and before I knew it we were two sweaty bodies lying entwined on the bed.
We kissed tenderly and slowly, still without exchanging a word and found a comfortable position with me on my back and her up against my body, with her head resting on my chest.
We lay in silence until we both fell asleep.

The next morning I woke and carefully moved away to sneak into the bathroom. I turned on the shower and stepped in, letting the water splash my face with a jet of cold water. I stood for a while feeling the water getting hotter and enj
oying the sensation on my skin, caressing my skin softly, like Kayla had done. A warm sensation spread in my stomach and I smiled. It all had happened so fast and it felt like a dream. Thinking of how close we'd been, how we'd broken through this barrier made me smile again. I felt a frown visit my face, when I thought about her grief. I felt so helpless, remembering her so sad and almost inconsolable. A plan began to take form in my head. I might not be able to get her to her mother's grave by New Year's Eve, but I could get her there soon.
I stepped out of the shower and found a towel. When I came back into the room she was awake and getting dressed.
"You startled me." She smiled.
"Sorry, I was just in the shower I didn't mean to scare you."
She sat on the bed and brushed her hair.
"Hey guys, breakfast is ready! Kevin and Jackson have gone all out since it's the last breakfast they'll have this year!" Tom laughed, both at the joke but also at the silliness of his mates.
"Ok, we're coming" Kayla said. She pulled on her jeans to follow Tom into the living room. I hurried to find some clothes and joined them. It irritated me that we'd been interrupted before we could talk. I had to leave after breakfast to get some stuff to execute my plan and help with the groceries for tonight and that would leave us not speaking privately for too long for my liking. Last night we hadn't spoken either but I'd felt a very strong connection with her.
At the table everything was normal. Occasionally Kayla had joined me and some of the other cast for a meal here and there, both on and off-set and this felt like one of those times. Maybe she was a bit quieter, but who could blame her with all she'd been through the last couple of days? She was acting normal, yet something felt off. I kept searching her eyes for that connection I'd seen in them last night, but she looked at me like she always does. Friendly. I was worried by it and it didn't help I couldn't catch a single moment alone with her.
First I'd tried in the kitchen while doing the dishes, but Bobby had joined us and was very chatty and animated and would not take a hint, although I tried looking at him in various pleading ways.
Then I'd been preoccupied with putting together a grocery list with the boys and when I could finally go back to my room Kayla was in the shower. I sat on the bed waiting. I'd just have to ask her where we stood when she came out.
"We're leaving!" Tom popped his head in to tell me to get my ass in gear. Frustrated I got up and yelled through the bathroom door.
"Hey Kay! I'm going into town for a while ok?"
"Ok! Hey bring me back some chocolate!" She shouted back.
"Okay!"
Tom walked next to me to the car. It was still very white and cold outside and I realized that somewhere in the woods under a pile of snow, lay Kayla's car. I added that to my list of things to take care of.
Once in the car Tom turned on the engine and asked me the burning question:
"So what's going on with you and Kayla?"
"Your guess is as good as mine, mate."
He said nothing and we drove into the nearby town, all covered in white and looking idyllic, which was as far as you can get from the storm I was feeling coming on inside.
"Hey Tom, I have some calls to make and some extra things to pick up while we're here."
"Fine by me, I want to find a present for my parents anyway."
Tom's parents lived close to mine and they had received an invitation to their 25th anniversary party next month. Tom had always brought home souvenirs for his parents since he first started travelling regularly, and his mother had told mine of course, and now there was no end to the silly requests my mother would email me, every time I told her where I was going (macaroons from Paris, fans from Barcelona, retro fridge magnets from New York).
He got out the grocery list from his pocket and we made our plan of attack. Tom went ahead and I stayed in the car making my calls.

"Are you all done?" Tom helped me put the food and stuff I'd bought into the trunk.
"Yes, let's go." I was driving home and Tom climbed into the passenger's seat.
" I hope she likes your surprise."
"I hope so too, right now I've no idea."
"She will, I'm sure."
I turned on the radio and felt my spirits lift the closer we got to the house. I wanted to talk to her. I wanted to feel her lips on mine again. I wanted to know if she felt the same way. Once we got home we started unloading the things we'd bought.
"What about the suitcase?" Tom asked.
"No just leave it in the car, I'll bring it in later when I tell her"
We went back and forth from the car to the house a couple of times with arms so full of food, you'd think we were feeding an army.
"Argh! I forgot the bloody chocolate!"
"Chocolate?"
"Kayla asked me to buy some."
I looked at the time, I could still make it without stressing. I was annoyed with myself for forgetting and wasting valuable time with Kayla. Our talk would have to wait.
"You're going back into town?"
"I promised I'd get it."
Tom mumbled something to himself about Kayla having me by the short and curlies, as he went back to the house.
I shook my own head at myself. Oh, she had me by the balls. The question was: did she know?
I'd just parked the car in front of the town supermarket when my phone rang. It was Nick.
"Hi Nick."
"Hey, so listen I've got you booked on the 7.45 one, Sunday morning. I've rearranged the coming week and I'm sorry but I couldn't get a hold of any numbers for family members."
"It's ok she's much better, she'll ring them when she can."
"But her phone's dead?"
"I'll buy her one, she says she's got the numbers."
"You're such a good person Matt!"
"Aw Nick, don't praise me, if you only knew my ulterior motives"
I laughed a little.
"Matt, you read like an open book." He laughed back at me and I could see myself in the rearview mirror turning a little pink. If everyone knew how I felt about Kayla, it must be obvious to her too?
"Well then you know I'm not a good person."
"Shut up, sure you are. You're taking good care of her, I don't care what your reasons are."
"She might."
"Why, what do you mean?"
"Nothing I'm just frustrated and on edge. I haven't spoken to her yet and I have no idea where we stand."
"Don't be so worried, I think she feels the same way you do."
It was nice of him to be so reassuring, but his words didn't calm my inner turmoil. Nothing but hearing her say she felt the same way, would calm me down.
"So 7.45 Sunday morning and we have to be in New York when?"
"You have to be in New York by Friday, but I'll e-mail the itinerary and the plane times. You'll pick up the tickets at the desk?"
"Cool, you're the best Nick. I'm sorry for having disturbed you and your family on your holiday."
"Don't mention it! Now get your ass back to Kayla and talk to her!"
"Yes sir!"

I was home late and the whole house was buzzing. Everyone was busy doing something for tonight. Jackson
and Tom were in the kitchen making something I hoped would turn out edible, considering the funky smell I was not sure, and Bobby and Kevin were busy decorating the living room. They had already decked it out with enough glitter and party poppers for a party of 50.
"Where's Kayla?" I asked Kevin.
"She went for a walk. Said she needed some fresh air."
Why would she go for a walk alone in the snow? She'd barely recovered from freezing to death.
"She's ok, don't look so worried. We made her promise she wouldn't go far, and we gave her Kevin's phone." Bobby looked at me reassuringly. I nodded and asked them what I could help with. I needed to keep myself busy or the time until she returned would be too painful and slow.
"I think you could help Jackson and Tom, I wasn't too comfortable with their little "experiment" as they called it!"
Bobby laughed and sprinkled a handful of silver hearts on the table.
"I'm more worried about what you're doing to this table! Silver hearts? Really?"
I couldn't help but tease them. They looked a bit taken aback and Bobby instantly became defensive.
"Well if it was just us I wouldn't do it, but Kayla might like it and we didn't want her to think she was spending New Year's with a bunch of Neanderthals!"
"Yeah right, for Kayla! That was a good one!"
I hurried into the kitchen before a party popper could hit me in the back of my head.
Not that I would be of much help in the kitchen as I never did stay home long enough to learn how to even microwave my own food. When Kayla finally walked in from her walk, red cheeks and nose, looking more refreshed, she took one look at what we were doing and instantly took charge.
"Jackson, if you chop the potatoes into quarters instead of what you were doing..."
In a matter of moments we were all busy. She was back to her old self and we were all enjoying her bossing us around, having her in the kitchen sharing the banter, but inside I was bursting! I needed a moment with her alone. To talk. To kiss...I longed to touch her silky skin and feel her hot breath on mine. And I was uncomfortable not knowing what she was thinking and feeling. I didn't like the fact that we could so easily pretend everything was normal, when the last few days had been anything but. When she went back to the room to get ready I followed her. She didn't walk into my room as I'd anticipated but the room next to it. I followed her with a sinking feeling inside.
"Kayla?" She turned around looking as nothing was wrong.
"Are you sleeping in here now?" I tried my best to stay neutral.
"Yeah, I just thought it would be best, you know."
No I didn't know! I didn't understand!
"I mean, not that I don't totally appreciate everything you've done for me, you've taken such good care of me Matt, but I'm your assistant and it might be better if I slept in my own bed you know?"
I was speechless. She was brushing me off, like we weren't talking about the most sensual sex of my life. I hid my disappointment the best I could.
"Yeah sure, ehm I've got something for you."
"Yay! You remembered the chocolate! You're the best!"
"The chocolate?...oh yes, it's in my room but there's something else."
We were interrupted by the sound of pans crashing to the floor from the kitchen and someone yelling.
"I better go check that out."
She ran off to the kitchen to help the boys with whatever trouble they'd gotten themselves into. Damn them! Damn her!
I felt so stupid! I went back into my room and sat defeated on the bed. How could I have told myself there were signs she felt the same way? It was obvious now that our night together had just been her needing someone to comfort her. In a way I didn't blame her, in her position I would probably have done the same thing, but I felt the hurt all over, like there was an army on a rampage in every fiber of my body. The tears welled up in my eyes. How stupid to let everyone tell you she has feelings for you? How stupid, stupid, bloody stupid!
The magnitude of my stupidity hit me like a hurricane. Way to go Matt! Now I'd have to endure working with her AND remembering how sweet she tasted and how good she felt.
"Sorry about that!" Her voice startled me. I turned my eyes towards the floor and bit myself in the cheek to hold back the tears and resume my normal behavior. I began rummaging my bag for her chocolate and phone.
And plane ticket.
"Yeah, no...it's okay, we'd want to have dinner at some point!"
She smiled I could tell from the corner of my eye.
How can she stand there so unaffected?
"Here's the chocolate, and I got you a new phone."
"Thanks Matt! Let me know how much it was and I'll..."
"No, no it's from me."
"Really?"
I looked everywhere but into her eyes, I couldn't take much more of this.
"Sure. I ehm...also got you this. I located the tickets and took out hers. It's for you, so you can go to Paris, even though I know it's after New Year's. Nick has pushed our schedule, so we don't start work until Friday."
I couldn't read her expression. I assumed she looked a bit sad because I'd brought up her mother, but there was something else in her eyes I couldn't read.
"Thank you Matt, it's too much, it's very nice of you." Her voice was strained and I felt stupid again. This was such a bad idea. I'd planned on giving her the surprise and go with her, but that was before I knew how she felt about me.