The New Hope Cafe (14 page)

“And?”

“All I got was stomach cramps and bad dreams. I was too
attached to choosing, rather than being chosen. I wanted the eagle for power or
the hawk for truth.”

He set the list and the wood on the table. Cara picked up a
pink valentine heart that said
be mine
and showed it
to him.

“That was from Linda Latham. She had incredible lips.”

“You kissed her?”

“Are you nuts? I was nine. Girls had cooties. She blew the best
bubble-gum bubbles.”

“You’ve had a thing for lips for a while.”

“Only the exceptional ones.” His gaze dropped to hers, making
her stomach flutter.

Cara put back the heart and picked up a photo. It was two boys
and a woman standing with Mickey Mouse.

“Is this you and Evan?”

“Yeah. Disneyland. I was ten, he was six.”

“Is this your mother? She’s very pretty.”

“She was.”

“
Was?
Did something happen to
her?”

He didn’t answer immediately.

“I don’t mean to pry.”

“It’s okay.” Jonah seemed to force himself to say more. “She
left right after this trip. Couldn’t take our dad anymore.”

“But what about you two?” She’d abandoned her children. Cara
couldn’t imagine doing that, though she knew better than to judge. Many women
couldn’t imagine doing what she’d done either.

He shrugged. “She wrote to us for a while. I think she went to
Chicago. That was where her family was from.”

“You don’t know where she is?”

“Don’t look so stricken. Families break up all the time. We
survived.”

“It would still hurt.” Though Beth Ann wouldn’t talk about it,
losing her father had been hard for her. He’d adored her. No matter how Cara
explained Barrett to her, Beth Ann had to be confused.

“She did what she had to do,” Jonah continued. “Everybody does.
It was harder on Evan than me. He was only six.”

The same age Beth Ann had been.

“Evan thought Mom left because of him. Plus, Dad went downhill
after that. I’d spent time with him in the shop, where he was patient and
friendly. Evan only knew the bitter, brooding drunk he became.”

“You were so young.”

“We managed. I made sure Evan ate breakfast, had clean clothes,
got to school, did his homework. The practical stuff.” He looked past her, lost
in thought. “That had to leave a huge hole in the kid—thinking it was his fault
Mom left and Dad fell apart. He filled it with alcohol.” He took a breath. “If
I’d explained it more, maybe he wouldn’t have gone that route.”

“Alcoholism is genetic, Jonah. You couldn’t have controlled
that. You were a kid, too, remember.”

“I never handled Evan well. I still don’t. I make him feel
small.” Jonah’s eyes held anguish. “I miss the mark when it counts. That’s how I
am.”

“I don’t believe that.” Cara picked up the curled paper and
thrust it at him. “Which spirit animal carries the weight of the world on his
shoulders?”

He took it, half smiling. “Let’s see… Looks like…bear. Yeah.
Guardian of the World.
I’m too much of a grumpy
hermit to protect the world.”

“Let me look.” She took it from him, her fingers brushing his,
sending heat along her nerves. “That’s not all it says about the bear.” She
read, “‘The bear is brave, strong, industrious, protective, strong-willed and a
healer.’ That’s exactly you, Jonah.”

He shook his head, not buying it one bit. She had to get
through to him.

“It’s true. I’ve seen it. With Beth Ann. With me. You’ve made
me feel safe. You’ve given me hope that…one day…I might heal.”

“You will. Don’t doubt that.” His gaze was fervent. “Give
yourself time. Find a solid, steady guy who’ll be there for you, thick or thin,
who’ll give you what you need when you’re ready. You deserve that. You’ll get
it.”

Cara was so moved tears pricked her eyes. “You don’t know how
good you are.” Who could be more steady or solid or patient than Jonah? Her
heart swelled with emotion. She cared about this man and he cared about her.

Maybe she’d given up too soon.

Her gaze landed on the name plate Jonah had made. It didn’t
even say her daughter’s real name.
None of this is
real.
They were on the run, in hiding. This was no time to explore
pointless hopes. She had to fulfill her promise to Rosie and get on with her
plan.

She picked up the piece of birch and held it out. “Carve the
bear, Jonah. That’s your spirit animal. I’d stake my life on it.”

That sounded pretty dramatic, but it felt somehow right.

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

“I’
LL
GET
IT
!”
CJ dashed for the café phone, trailing drips of purple paint from her roller.
Jonah watched her go. What the hell was going on? It was Monday. They’d closed
early to paint the café, everyone intent, pushing to finish as soon as possible,
yet CJ lunged for the phone each time it rang.

It wasn’t her ex. He knew that because she seemed nervous, not
terrified, as she’d been the day the pay phone rang.

Jonah turned back to his work, nodding at Hector and Ernesto,
who were masking the front windows. They’d hired Hector as full-time busboy
since Ernesto had begun doing more cooking. They got busier every day, thanks to
CJ. She was a wonder.

They had a good crew today. Hector, Ernesto, Darlene, Evan and
Nicolette, with Charlie, Darlene’s boyfriend, outside changing the sign. Even
with CJ stopping every ten minutes for the phone, they should finish by
nightfall.

CJ returned from the call, so pretty, even in paint clothes and
a bandanna, she made him ache.

He almost wished he’d never had her naked in his arms. He
couldn’t forget the look of her, her sweet cries, the velvet of her skin, the
way body heat had intensified her pink smell. It was all fuel for restless
nights. More than once he’d given up on sleep and gone to his shop to lose
himself in wood and work. The extra hours hadn’t hurt, considering the new
projects he’d taken on for her. He still had three pieces to finish for his
show, three weekends away.

This
thing
he had for her should
pass soon. The intensity was due to him waking up again, the way a numb arm
tingled when the blood returned in a rush. He’d be happy when he got past
it.

“Was it the call you’re waiting for?” he asked her.

“The what? No. I wasn’t…” She blushed, flustered that he’d
caught her out. “It was an order. Two dozen good-luck buns.” They’d been doing a
brisk take-out business on the fortune rolls. CJ knew her stuff, for sure.

“The machine could have taken that.” He opened his mouth to ask
her what she was up to, but Evan interrupted.

“Check the wainscoting,” he said. “Does it look straight to
you?”

“You measure it?” Jonah asked. “Use the level?”

“Yeah, but—”

“Then it’s straight.”

“Okay.” Evan seemed surprised Jonah had taken his word for it.
Since he’d talked to CJ about his brother, Jonah had been trying to see things
through Evan’s eyes more.

“This is really coming together, huh?” CJ said.

“It’ll look great for Devil’s Anvil Reborn,” Evan said. “Next
Thursday.”

“Right,” CJ said. “That’ll be fun.”

“I was thinking maybe you could make a special batch of those
lucky rolls?” he said. “With only coins and clovers? They’re going to L.A. to
meet with a record label and tape an
E!
segment
about bands on the verge, so I figured the good luck would be a nice touch.”

“That’s clever,” CJ said.

“You think so?” Evan wore the painfully eager look Jonah
remembered from after their mother left. He’d craved approval, but their moody
father had been oblivious.

“It’s smart. Yeah,” Jonah said, his voice rough.
It wasn’t your fault Mom left.
He wished to hell he’d
said that to the poor kid.

Evan did a double take at the compliment. “I’ll get back to
it.”

“That was a nice thing to say,” CJ said when Evan was out of
hearing.

“I don’t give him enough credit,” Jonah said. “You’re not the
only one who hovers too much.” It was funny, but since that moment with the
rocking chair, he’d been noticing changes in himself. The talk about Evan added
to that. Now his brain felt like Rosie’s spare bedrooms after they’d taken out
the last of the junk for the parking-lot sale—full of light and air, with space
to breathe and move and think.

The door jangled and Beth Ann stuck her head in. She was riding
a bicycle with high handlebars and a banana seat. “Charlie says to come check
the sign angle.”

“Ooh, let’s go see,” CJ said to him, her eyes huge with
excitement. That fake smile hardly ever made an appearance these days. He liked
that.

The sign looked damn good, he had to admit. CJ was
thrilled.

Bunny rode past on the bicycle.

“You stay clear of the highway,” CJ called to her.

“Rosie give her the bike?” he asked.

“Yes.” She sighed. “An early birthday present, she said.”

“That was nice of her.” Since he’d heard about the upcoming
birthdays, Jonah had been working on gifts for CJ and Bunny. He hoped the one
for Bunny would make up for her hurt feelings. She’d barely spoken to him since
he’d told her to lay off the personal talk. She’d only been in to use the
computer, then left. “Rosie thinks the world of your daughter.”

“I know. She also gave her a giant dollhouse, a sewing machine
and lawn darts, for God’s sake. Those things are deadly. I don’t know how kids
survived the ’60s.”

“Little higher…to the left,” he yelled up at Charlie.

“Got it!” He made the shift and started securing the bolts.

“Rosie seemed glum when I talked to her about how the sale was
going,” he said “You think she’s having second thoughts?”

“We made more money than she expected,” CJ said. “She has
things on her mind, I guess.”

She seemed nervous, too.

“I feel bad about all those gifts,” CJ said. “We can’t take any
of it with us. It’s more to say goodbye to.”

They’d be saying goodbye to him, too, in a few weeks. That gave
him a sinking feeling. “You pay Rusty to fix your car yet?”

“In two weeks. It’ll be my birthday present to myself.”

“A transmission is a pretty sad gift.”

“Has to be done,” CJ said.

“If you’re going to leave, yeah.”

Once the sign was set, they went back inside.

“You got a call, CJ,” Darlene said. “Someone named Frieda.” She
held out a napkin with a number on it.

CJ snatched the paper and ran for the phone. That was clearly
the call she’d been waiting for. Frieda was the friend Rosie was visiting. Why
would she call instead of Rosie? His scalp prickled. Something was wrong and
this time he wasn’t letting it slide.

He caught up with CJ as she was picking up the phone. “Hold
on,” he said. “You need to tell me what’s going on with Rosie. Right now.”

She searched his face. “I can’t.” She bit her lip. “I promised
her.”

“I don’t care. I need to know.” What the hell was it?

CJ bit her lip, then spoke. “She had surgery this morning.
They’re taking out a tumor in her stomach. It’s just outpatient, but—”

“She has cancer?” He felt like he’d been dropped into ice
water.

“They’re doing a biopsy to find out.”

“Jesus Christ. When did this happen?”

“It started three weeks ago.”

“Three weeks? And no one told me?” He couldn’t wrap his mind
around that.

“I wanted to, believe me. I begged Rosie to tell you, but I had
to promise to keep it a secret to get her to go to the doctor in the first
place.”

“But she told you she was sick?” He fought to keep his voice
low.

“By accident. She fainted in the kitchen. Scared me to death.
She said it had happened before. I told her to get checked, but she was going to
just wait to die.”

“That’s Rosie.”

“I couldn’t let her do that, so I made a deal to stay until she
went to the doctor.”

“That was why?”

CJ nodded. “Also, I found out the café was in foreclosure. She
dropped the letter from the bank when she fainted.”

“She’s losing the café?”

“Not anymore. She thought she was dying so it didn’t
matter.”

“Why didn’t she tell me? I could have helped with the money.
Dammit.”

“We worked it out. Selling off the shop caught her up with her
mortgage and we’ve been making more money in the café, so she should be
okay.”

“That’s what the new menu was for? And the renovation?”

She nodded. “She wanted you and Evan to be off living your
lives when she died. She wanted to protect you, so she didn’t want you to
know.”

“Protect me from what? From being there when she needed
me?”

CJ took a step back and he realized he’d raised his voice.

“Sorry.” He took a breath and spoke in a lower voice. “I’ve
been frying burgers and sanding furniture like any other day while she thinks
she’s at death’s door—
and
losing her café.”

“You know how stubborn she is. So she went to the doctor and
when he wanted to operate—”

“She refused. ‘Once they sink a knife in you, you’re done.’” He
shook his head over his aunt’s fatalism.

“Exactly. So I made another deal. I said I’d stay for the
surgery. She agreed as long as I kept it secret from you.”

“Damn.” Jonah was disgusted that this had been going on and
he’d been clueless. “I knew something was up, but I let it slide.”

“You asked me, Jonah, and I had to lie.”

“I should have asked
her,
made her
tell me.”

“You said she’d rather boil in fryer oil than confide in
you.”

“Doesn’t matter. I’m family. If I can’t be there for her when
her life’s on the line, what’s the point?” He fought to rein himself in. He’d
failed Rosie without even knowing it.

Jonah thought about what CJ had done. “You gave up so much. You
put your plans on hold.”

“It wasn’t a sacrifice. I love it here. So does Bunny.”

CJ was such a good person. “I can’t believe you did all you did
for Rosie. For us. I think you’re the one whose spirit animal is the bear. You
sure as hell have been the guardian of Rosie’s world.”

“It meant a lot that Rosie needed me. When I left, I let people
down where I worked. This makes up for that a little. And Rosie reminds me of my
grandmother. I love her, Jonah.”

Emotion welled in his chest. He was so lucky to know this
woman. He wanted to say that, but he wasn’t sure how, so he stuck with what
needed to be done. “Guess you’d better call Frieda.”

CJ dialed the number and put the call on speaker. Frieda told
them the surgery had gone well, Rosie was in recovery and the biopsy results
would take a day or two.

“That’s that,” CJ said, hanging up. “Rosie will kill me when
she finds out I told you.”

“She’ll get over it. I needed to know.”

“Hopefully, the café being painted will cheer her up. She’ll
love the sign you made.”

Jonah had to laugh. “You save her life and I paint her a sign.
Sounds about right.” CJ was the heart of things. The least he could do was be
the muscle.

* * *

W
EDNESDAY
AFTERNOON
,
Cara pulled up a
chair between Jonah and Rosie in the café kitchen. They sat shoulder to shoulder
waiting for the doctor to call with the results of Rosie’s biopsy. They’d given
the doctor the café phone number so Beth Ann wouldn’t hear. She was safely
upstairs.

When the phone rang, all three jumped. It rang again.

“Pick it up, for God’s sake,” Rosie finally said.

Cara pushed the speakerphone button. “Hello? Dr. Randolph?”

“This is he. Who’s this?”

Cara told him and explained that Rosie and Jonah were also
present.

“Glad you’re all there,” he said. “I’ll get right to the point.
The tumor was cancerous, Rosie. The good news is we believe we got it all, the
danger of metastasis is slight with this tumor type....”

Cara’s mind shut down at the word
cancerous.
The doctor’s words went muddy, as if she were listening
under water. Rosie had cancer.
Cancer.
She looked at
Rosie, who sat as still as stone.

Jonah blew out a breath and turned his head to the side.

She managed to tune back in to the doctor as he said, “Harvey
Royce is a superb oncologist. He’ll want to start chemotherapy right away. We’ve
had excellent results with an aggressive treatment plan. Do you have
questions?”

Cara and Jonah looked at Rosie. Silence.

“Mrs. Underhill?” the doctor said.

Rosie cleared her throat. “That’s all I need to know.”

“If you’ll hold, I’ll have my nurse give you Dr. Royce’s
number.”

“No, thanks. I’m set. Goodbye.” Rosie pushed the end call
button.

“We need the number,” Cara said gently.

“No, we don’t.” Rosie folded her arms, and Cara’s heart
sank.

“You’re getting the treatments if I have to drag you there
myself,” Jonah said, his eyes on fire. He looked afraid for Rosie.

Rosie stabbed a finger at Cara. “I blame you for this. We had a
deal. But you went and blabbed to this bulldog.”

“I made her tell me,” Jonah said. “Deal or not, you don’t keep
life-and-death secrets from your family.”

“You worry about your own life and death and leave mine to
me.”

She got up.

“Where are you going?” Jonah said. “We need to discuss
this.”

“We’re done discussing. No treatment. I’m done.” Rosie got up
and stomped off, thudding up the stairs to her apartment.

“I shouldn’t have threatened her.” He was pale as death. “I got
her back up.”

“She needs time to adjust to the idea.”

“She’s got cancer.” He looked devastated. “Rosie’s got cancer.”
He swallowed hard, clearly battling emotion.

“I know. But we’ll talk to her. She’ll come around. The doctor
said they get good results when they’re aggressive.”

“What the hell does he mean by
aggressive?
You got the guy’s number? Rosie might not have
questions, but I have plenty.”

* * *

A
FTER
SUPPER
,
Cara opened the
apartment door to let Jonah in so they could talk with Rosie, who sat gloomily
watching TV in the living room. Beth Ann was in her room watching a movie on
Cara’s laptop with headphones so she wouldn’t overhear.