The New Countess (8 page)

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Authors: Fay Weldon

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‘I’m Rosina Hedleigh’s agent,’ he said.

‘Oh Anthony,’ protested Diana, but he was looking so hard into Evelyn Braintree’s eyes he scarcely heard her.

‘Longman are thinking of publishing her book,’ Anthony went on, ‘but she might do better with me – I can run it as a serial.’

‘Rosina Hedleigh? Isn’t she the Motoring Viscount’s sister, who ran off to Australia? The brother’s all over the news. So good-looking and they say he’s – well, never mind what they say. I’m going down to Dilberne to interview him. He’s entering his Jehu for the Isle of Man race in September.’

‘I might pay danger money for a piece on Arthur Hedleigh,’ said Anthony, ‘if it wasn’t too flattering a piece, that is. Idle young upstart.’

‘I can read you like a book,’ said Evelyn, and, having ascertained that Anthony would actually commission a piece, said she’d think about it and went off out of the dark, smoky recesses of Simpson’s into the hot summer glare of the Strand.

‘What do they say about Arthur Hedleigh that Eve wouldn’t say?’ Anthony Robin asked his sister when she had gone. ‘There’s very little Eve won’t say. A very new woman indeed.’

‘Oh, never mind,’ said his sister.

‘Tell me,’ said her brother.

‘You know how on Boat Race day there’s always a competition between Oxford and Cambridge to see who can field the biggest, well, you know what, I shan’t be indelicate. Hedleigh was always in the team.’

Anthony seemed a little taken aback but then laughed lightly.

‘I rather doubt the truth of that,’ he said. ‘I daresay he spread the tale himself. Lucky little Miss Minnie O’Brien from Chicago.’

Diana shuddered.

Never Darken My Doors Again

29th July 1905, Belgrave Square

While Rosina composed herself for an afternoon rest, Isobel took action. She sent Reginald to buy a ticket for an evening train back to Dilberne Halt, and arranged for Mr Courtney the family’s solicitor to go down within the week to talk to Rosina and set about selling the Wandanooka property in Western Australia and transferring the proceeds to her father’s estate. It was perhaps unfortunate that Rosina couldn’t settle and came down in time to overhear some of the conversation. Isobel put the phone down.

‘But Mother—’

‘Rosina. Leave financial matters to Mr Courtney and your father. You are not in a fit state to decide anything for yourself.’

‘But Mama—’

‘I heard you say that because one is rich, that is no reason to travel comfortably. It hardly makes sense, Rosina. You are distraught. This book of yours – it comes from the same stable as Havelock Ellis, I imagine, and propagates vile ideas. Mr Ellis’ name is hardly mentioned in polite society. Do you want this for yourself? It will affect your father’s reputation.’

‘Father hasn’t written the book, I have. What has he got to do with it?’

‘Don’t be so naïve, child. You know perfectly well. He will be mocked because he can’t control his family. If he can’t control his family, how can he control a nation? And your poor brother Arthur; people will giggle and point after him because his sister writes these appalling books and no one will buy the Jehu. They will feel besmirched just sitting on its cushions.’

Rosina, unfortunately, took it into her head to giggle.

‘Not much sitting goes on, I can tell you, in the outback. People walk, or run, or stand, or dance, or chant, or crawl, or occasionally stoop, but you don’t often see them just sitting.’

Isobel ignored her but inwardly she seethed.

‘And poor little Minnie! Her parents will ask her not to let their grandchildren associate with you. Give me the manuscript and I’ll burn it.’

‘But it’s with a publisher, Mama.’

‘Then our solicitor Mr Courtney will write to them and forbid them to publish it.’

‘I can do as I like. I have enough money and to spare, thanks to my marrying someone you did not want me to marry. And now I have no husband to stop me doing whatever I want.’

‘You’re a silly little girl who has no idea how to look after herself.’

Her mother’s words cut into Rosina. She felt she was eleven again. She remembered climbing trees in the park with Arthur: she’d worn a pair of his trousers, taken from his wardrobe when Nanny wasn’t looking, because skirts got in the way. They’d been discovered. Her mother’s rage had been great. There had been talk at the time of sending her to Roedean on the coast, a school set up for girls who had the misfortune to be ‘clever’, but after the tree-climbing incident the talk had abruptly ceased. Rosina remembered the rare hard edge of her mother’s voice. ‘You’re nothing but a silly little girl.’ Thus for life, she had been defined.

You could escape and marry, she realized, in order to come to terms with those absurdities; you could go to the ends of the Earth and suffer freezing cold and burning heat, to a place where a letter home cost you two weeks of your life getting to a post box – but come home and nothing had changed. You were still nothing but a silly little girl, and so you would always be. This was the reality of it. She had failed. Her whole side still ached, black and blue from where a bad sea in the Bay of Biscay had thrown her to the deck. She should have stayed in her cabin as the passengers had been ordered to do. She had thought she was immune from disaster but she was not. Every movement of her hip still reminded her. Mother was right. Mother had won.

‘Yes, Mama,’ she said. ‘It’s only a book. I don’t suppose they’ll publish it anyway.’

Her mother lifted her eyes to Heaven in thankfulness and smiled upon her daughter once again. She told Rosina she was booked on the five-thirty from Waterloo Station to Dilberne Halt. There was a late debate in the House so there was no point in Rosina waiting up for Robert. Her father would be down to see her as soon as affairs of State allowed, no doubt. Minnie would be so happy to have her about.

Rosina was to have back her old rooms in the East Wing. Isobel had had the place renovated, plumbed and wired for Adela when she had moved in.

‘But Mummy,’ cried Rosina. ‘They were my rooms. You shouldn’t have given them away like that. How could you have altered them without asking me! And all my books and papers? Seebohm’s letters!’

‘I burned them. You shouldn’t have gone without warning, and without proper discussion. What was I meant to do? Close the East Wing and use it as a shrine to your memory?’

All the chairs and sofas, Isobel said, had been re-upholstered with a nice new chestnut and cream-coloured print from Liberty’s and the walls papered with a pretty floral pattern which quite enhanced its tranquility. Minnie had helped her choose. Of course, Rosina had not had the privilege of meeting her cousin Adela – such a spiritual girl – now married to the charming young Hungarian Count, Michael Nàdasdy, and had moved with him to Ascona in Switzerland.

‘She writes to say she plays a lively part in a religious community,’ said Isobel proudly. ‘Hardly a week passes, Rosina, in which she doesn’t write to me.’

‘She must be very bored, then,’ observed Rosina. ‘And an Austrian Princess marrying a Hungarian Count? Rather a come-down, surely. Though not as bad, I can see, as me marrying a colonial theosophist whose only claim to family was an aunt related to a bishop by marriage. But at least Frank was rich. Continental nobility are usually poor as anything.’

‘I’m sorry, Rosina,’ said her mother, ‘Adela was as much a member of this family as you are. And more of a daughter to me, come to that. All you’ve done all your life is upset everyone, forever chasing after false gods.’

Rosina held her tongue, though it was difficult. It was not prudent to make too much trouble. Her head was in turmoil. Mention of Adela did not help. Adela had nearly married Frank; that was water under the bridge, of course, but it was still difficult to feel generous. Frank had come across an old copy of the London
Times
in the Geraldton store and read the news of her betrothal to the Count of Nàdasdy.

‘To think I nearly married her,’ Frank had said. ‘How pretty and ethereal she looks! Princess by name and princess by nature! But we’re nature’s lords and ladies at Wandanooka, aren’t we, sweetheart. I don’t regret choosing you one bit.’

Had he chosen her, or just wanted not to waste a fare to Fremantle? She had to acknowledge that his ‘love’ seemed to be more practical than ethereal. On the way back from Geraldton, a mile or so inland, they’d dismounted, and Frank had thrown down a horse blanket and proved his love for her then and there, the better to make his point. But it was, she felt, as much Frank’s way of making the most of what he had as anything more romantic.

It was on just such an occasion that the brown snake had bitten Frank on his naked buttock; she and he had rolled up against a rocky crag when it attacked him. The ludicrous nature of the world outside all established order struck Rosina so powerfully these days. Tears were now running down her cheeks. Mother was right. She, Rosina, was very tired. Was it grief for Frank that made her cry? She’d never liked being the girl Frank had run off with when his real fiancée had disappeared: the younger sister without an education because she was only a female: the kind of person who went to the lecture but never the one who gave it; the one who was seen as good company for Minnie the Viscountess, never the other way round.

And her book, her book? It had been in another country, long ago. Her mother was probably right; it was rash to publish. But when in her younger days had she ever been prudent? All she reported was what actually happened in other cultures: she wasn’t recommending them, although it did relieve women of the burden of procreation in a land where food was short. She felt a sudden stirring of hope.

It occurred to her that perhaps she could publish the book under Anthony’s name?
Sexual Manners and Traditions in Pagan Australia and Rural England: A Comparison
by Anthony Robin rather than Rosina Hedleigh. It was certainly a solution. But would he mind?

‘And I will be down at Dilberne Court quite a lot in the near future,’ her mother was saying. ‘We can take some nice walks, though I am going to be really busy.’

‘Too right, mate. Too right,’ Pappagallo squawked and plopped a chunk of greyish-white liquid from under his tail feathers onto the table. Isobel rang for Mary.

‘Busy?’ Rosina asked.

‘I’m having enough trouble getting the place seen to before Mrs Keppel visits,’ said Isobel, forgetting her smile. ‘And that bird can’t possibly go with you. It’s just mess, mess, mess. You have no idea how much needs to be done and what a trouble it all is.’

‘You have Minnie,’ said Rosina.

‘Minnie is very sweet and being a great help, but her taste in furniture is a little, shall we say, colonial. She likes all the dark, old-fashioned, mahogany stuff. Heavy to look at, heavy to carry. To my mind it just needs burning, and she keeps arguing.’

‘Mrs Keppel the King’s harlot?’ asked Rosina. ‘You have invited Mrs Keppel to stay at Dilberne Court? Is that respectable?’

‘The King is coming down for a shooting weekend in December. You know how he hates to be dull. He is bringing Mrs Keppel with him.’

‘But where will you sleep her? A lady of Mrs Keppel’s discrimination can’t be expected to put up with the cracked chamber pots of Dilberne Court. And how can she entertain the King properly without an electric lamp to guide him to her bed? Though they do say candles are much kinder to the complexion. One does rather fear for her when the King dies and Princess May becomes Queen. There will be no King’s favourites then.’

‘Mrs Keppel is bringing her husband with her,’ said Isobel, feebly. Rosina was outraged.

‘Worse and worse,’ said Rosina. ‘Perhaps I should add a new chapter to my book – “Sexual Traditions of the English Aristocracy”.’

And now Isobel was asking Mary to bring down Pappagallo’s old cage from the attic and set it up in the servants’ hall.

‘But what for?’ asked Rosina. ‘Where I go Pappagallo goes. I’m not leaving for Dilberne Court without him. He’d pine and die.’

‘Nonsense,’ said Isobel. ‘He’s a bird. Birds don’t love people; birds don’t suffer. Birds just stay around with whoever feeds them. You go, the parrot stays.’

‘Where I go Pappagallo goes,’ Rosina repeated, stirred at last to protest. Let her father take her money, let her mother take her chance of recognition, let them exile her in disgrace to the depths of the country – but they would not take her parrot and friend, let alone relegate it to the servants’ quarters.

‘That scrofulous bird stays here,’ Isobel was saying, almost screeching, ‘and be grateful I don’t strangle it. I am my father’s daughter. I will not have it spreading its little visitors in my nice new East Wing. Fleas! See how the mangy thing scratches!’

‘I mean to publish, Mother. I’m sorry, but I do.’

And with Pappagallo on her shoulder and her spirits quite restored, Rosina stalked out of the room, out of the house, and took one of the new motor taxicabs back to Fleet Street and her friends Diana and Anthony Robin. As she left there shot out from beneath Pappagallo’s tail feathers another dismissive spurt of greyish sludge which splat on the wide front steps of No. 17 Belgrave Square. Mary was sent to clean up the mess.

What the Butler Knew

7th August 1905, The Servants’ Hall

The Countess seemed unable to decide which her main residence was. The old rules – Belgrave Square for the Season: balls, dancing, dinner parties, charity events, soirées and shopping – and Dilberne Court in the Winter for shooting: the gentlemen vying as to the size of their bags and the ladies their jewels, costumes and conquests – were being ignored. The Earl spent most of his time in London to be near the House, Her Ladyship kept turning up in Sussex with architects, master builders and designers. Mr Neville was feeling his age and was in a constant state of confusion as to who qualified for the dining room and who should be content with the servants’ hall. Old Tommy was exhausted from opening and shutting the gates for tradesmen in their coughing and spluttering but gleaming new auto vans, Royal Warrants on the side panels. ‘Bloody royalty, they’s no different from us under their fine clothes,’ he was heard to mutter.

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