The Nemesis Blade (61 page)

Maple removed
his turban to reveal a man with brown, straight hair at shoulder
length, dark eyes bold in his face. He slept with one eye open
beside Sabian, who lay as if he had not a care in the world.

Elianas sat on
the other side of the fire, lost in the images in amber. His dark
hair curtained his face and he breathed rhythmically as if
meditating. He and Declan were entirely unaware of each other,
having both surrendered to their thoughts.

Elsewhere in
the dark - the fire brought on the dark of night in the cavern -
Teighlar stalked Torrullin and eventually faced him.

“It is obvious
you are close to Elianas, and he to you, and you call him brother,
but there is more, and if I did not know you and your ability to
entangle yourself with women, I would be entertaining odd thoughts.
You are secretive about him.”

Torrullin’s
voice was expressionless. “Is there a point in there
somewhere?”

“Torrullin, I
know you. I have seen you wear emotions like a cloak. Someone this
close to you? I figure we would have heard about him before today.
How is it you never spoke of him before? When I believed we had a
special friendship?”

“We still
have.”

Teighlar
tapped his chest briefly. “Then tell me about him.”

Torrullin
sighed. “I cannot explain him, Teighlar. I never spoke of him
before, because there were no explanations then either. He requires
words I do not possess.”

“How long have
you known him?”

“Pretty much
always.”

“So he is an
alter ego?”

“No. He is
self-contained.”

“Where did you
meet him?”

Torrullin
laughed softly. “In my dreams.”

Silence and
then, “Gods, is it like that? Have you slept with him in your
dreams?”

“Bloody hell,
no. I dreamt of a brother, one closer than blood, that is all.
Elianas and I shared time, whether in realms or the past, I am not
sure, but we were brothers. I have forgotten much, but not the
feeling of brotherhood.”

“I am
sorry.”

“You voice
what the others begin to think. He is somewhat …”

“… obvious? It
seems he sends a message to everyone here.” Teighlar responded.

“Oh?”

“His ability
to care begins and ends with you, and beware any who cross the
line. Much like a jealous lover.”

Torrullin
looked away.

“I do admit it
may be because he knows only you and therefore attaches himself to
someone he knows. You, however, are not going to set anyone
straight. Why not tell them what you have told me?”

“They know me,
Teighlar; if they want to think that - I do not care.”

“How does he
fit in, Torrullin?”

Another soft
laugh. “Perfectly.”

Teighlar
muttered a curse and then, “If I were to speak to him, he would
answer as cryptically as you, would he not?”

“Probably.”

“I thought as
much. Fine, my friend, keep the pretty man as a secret for now, but
we will all need more clarity soon. We should get sleep. By the
way, what is the story with Rose? A man-eater, that one. At the
moment she vacillates between you, me and Elianas.”

“And tomorrow
it could be Tristan, Sabian and Declan. I see it. Stay away; she
does not realise she does it.”

“Will Elianas
heed that warning?”

“Elianas may
not be too interested in women.”

A small
chuckle from Teighlar. “I was not so far off the mark.”

“It isn’t
physical.”

Silence and
then, “It is about the soul, then. He wants your soul.”

In the dark,
Torrullin’s fingers found Teighlar’s shoulder and pulled him
closer. “You do not understand. It is no one thing; it is all
things … and he is already in. And, Teighlar, I like it that
way.”

“Gods,
Torrullin, that is dangerous.”

Fingers
released. “My middle name.”

“Why do you
allow this?”

“Because, at the end of all things, he is the barrier between
me and oblivion. He
knows
me. I need him.”

“What are you
talking about? Barrier? End of all things?”

“Leave it. A
half glimpsed truth is not enough to put voice to.”

“Will I be
there at the end of all things?” Teighlar’s voice contained a
peculiar nuance.

Torrullin
rubbed at his cheek, sensing the same unnamed quest he struggled
with. “Do you want to be?”

“I think I
might. Oblivion sounds … attractive.”

“The choice
will be yours.”

“Gods, what do
you know?” Teighlar demanded.

“Not
enough.”

“Oblivion is
not attractive to you?”

“Unfortunately
the choice will not be mine.”

“His?”

“Possibly.”

“Gods.”

An explosive
breath erupted from Torrullin. “We have a long way to go yet. Time
to find the right buttons to push, I think. For now, let us find
rest.”

“Yes, sleep is
a kind of oblivion.” Teighlar prodded at Torrullin. “You are
changing.”

“Here it is
bound to happen. We are separated from the familiar. So are you,
Emperor, and I do not think it will stop with us. Although we are
still in our realm, we are beyond the point of return, and that is
powerful psychology.”

“I hear you,”
Teighlar said.

Together they
moved back to the light of the fire. Once there, Teighlar found his
gear, shook his very thin pallet out and lay down, closing his
eyes. He muttered a bit about discomfort and then was silent.

Torrullin
chose a space further from the light. He created two soft pallets
and two pillows, as well as a light, covering blanket. He sat to
remove his boots and then sank into a prone position. It had been a
long and abnormal day.

At the fire
Elianas stared into the dark where Torrullin was. He breathed
deeply and then rose and flopped down onto the pallet vacant beside
him, pushing boots off with his toes. He curled towards him,
pulling the covering over and offering the rest to Torrullin, who
took it and turned his back.

A moment later
Elianas curled and was promptly asleep. Torrullin lay on, wide
awake.

As did
Teighlar.

As did
Saska.

‘Morning’
found Elianas up by the time the others stirred.

He brewed
coffee and that drew smiles. The aroma set mouths watering.

Torrullin sat
blearily on his bedding. He had finally fallen asleep and felt the
worse for the short rest period of rest. He dragged his boots
closer, and then stared down at his chest. Exposed chest.

He knew with
certainty whose fingers stroked there after sleep claimed him.
Gods, what really lay between them, if he could accept this
evidence without qualm? He did the buttons up, drew his boots on
and wandered off to relieve himself … and then could not face the
return.

Caballa
discovered him behind a jumble of rocks a while later. She carried
a mug of steaming coffee.

“Elianas said
you might need this in private.”

He took the
mug from her, a wry twist to his mouth. He drank.

“Are you all
right, Torrullin?” She reached up to touch his face.

“Don’t.”

She snatched
her hand back.

He grunted.
“Sorry. I am touchy at the moment. I wonder if he sent you because
you are the safest bet.”

She breathed
out. “Meaning?”

“I have not
touched a woman in years, Caballa, and this morning I find every
nerve twitching with need. Are you safe because I respect you too
much, or are you safe because it would change little?”

“He should
have sent Saska.”

“Gods, no,
that would be a disaster.”

“Perhaps he
should have come himself.”

Torrullin’s
hand shook as he lifted the mug to his lips again. He said
nothing.

She took it
from him, placed it on a rock, and then did touch him. She gripped
his face. “Torrullin, can you get past this?”

“I must.”

“You respect
me too much … right?”

“I respect
you.”

“I would
probably not deny you.”

He smiled.
“Honest as always. But I was wrong; change would come.”

She released
him, giving a wry smile. “Yes. Saska would kill me and Tristan … he
would …”

“It’s all
right. I promise I am not going to give in.” He looked blindly
away. “I want Lowen.”

She said
nothing.

Torrullin
laughed. “There is my wife and I desire her, but if Lowen were here
right now - gods, not even Elianas could thwart me.”

Not even. She
breathed in, out again. It meant Elianas had somehow taken on
ultimate importance, and how not, given what he was? “I am
going.”

He nodded,
reached for his coffee and stood leaning against the rock, sipping
and staring at the wall of the cavern.

She left.

When he
returned Sabian argued with Maple, and Quilla bent over Declan
sitting at the fire. The rest packed gear, while Caballa prepared
chunks of bread and cold cuts for breakfast.

Elianas was
out of sight.

He stood a
moment, watching them. They were a kind of family now, and that was
always hard when facing danger.

Gods, he
depressed himself.

Torrullin
moved with intent, ignoring Sabian and Maple, and hunkered beside
Declan. Quilla straightened, his cheeks pink.

“Talking about
me?”

The birdman
clucked his tongue. “We are worried.”

“
You
are
worried; Declan seems to take it in stride.”

The Siric
flashed a grin.

“Torrullin,
you need to speak of your relationship with Elianas.”

“Why? Quilla,
why do I have to explain anything anymore?”

The birdman
pointed a finger. “There it is! We are in this together, and you
draw lines before we are at the portal. How can we succeed if we
are not a team?”

“Look around
you. Sabian and Maple fighting, Caballa and Tristan tense, Teighlar
losing his cool, Dechend uncertain - how are we a team?”

“Then address
it. Fix it.”

“And explaining my
relationship
with Elianas will do
so?”

“It will ease
minds, yes.”

Declan stared
down. In no way would he put his two dinars in on this one.

A shadow fell
over them, and Quilla looked up … and closed his mouth into a thin
line.

Elianas stared
down at him. “Prudish, I would say.”

The birdman
spluttered indignation.

Torrullin
stared up, expressionless.

“Conservative
Q’li’qa’mz, a relationship is not yay or nay.”

Quilla
spluttered some more, and then, “I am not standing for this! I
heard he had visions about you and I asked if you are the master
manipulator, all without knowing you and …”

Elianas smiled
and hunkered as well. “Quilla, relax, I am needling you. I am aware
Torrullin trusts you, Declan and Belun before all others, and
therefore I extend the same kind of faith. I do not expect it
returned overnight.”

Quilla stared
at him, now at eye-level. “Maybe you should speak to the team,
considering he refuses to.”

“And what
would I say, Q’li’qa’mz? People see what they want to or are told
to.”

“Tell them who
you are.”

“I cannot do
that.”

Declan was now
staring at him as well. “Why not?”

Elianas
shrugged. “Because there is no way to make what I would say
acceptable.”

Torrullin
stood and stalked away.

Elianas gave a
laugh. “Now I am needling him. This journey will be
interesting.”

Quilla sighed.
“Between the two of you, you create widening rifts. You have done
it overnight, and how can we then extend trust? How long have you
been in this realm?”

“Physically?
Days.”

Meaning he had
been present in other ways, Quilla realised. In Torrullin’s visions
and dreams? Did it partly explain Torrullin’s inability to
completely commit?

”We are meant
to succeed at this mission,” Quilla added.

Elianas rose. “What is the mission? To redress an ancient
crime? The resultant echoes? To rescue Lowen? The first is
foolhardy and the second is selfish. What, therefore, is the
real
goal?” He lifted a
brow.

Quilla was
wordless.

Declan was on
his feet as well. “You are saying it is Torrullin.”

“Yes.” Elianas
moved away and then halted to add, “He languished for twenty-five
years. It is time to awaken him.”

Declan and
Quilla glanced at each other as he ambled in Torrullin’s
direction.

Torrullin
checked the raft, while chewing on a hunk of bread.

“Because there
is no way to make what you would say acceptable? Gods, man, why
don’t you just wave the flag of war in Quilla’s face?”

Elianas folded
his arms. “Quilla will think twice before jumping to conclusions,
you know that.”

“You know him
now?”

“I know you.
You trust him.”

“What is
unacceptable, for god’s sake?”

“Ah, the real
source for anger.”

Torrullin
jumped off the raft and braced before the dark man. “Say it to
me.”

“No.”

“Why not?”

Elianas leaned
forward. “You forgot your past, Torrullin, and until you remember,
I cannot explain anything.”

“How many
times have I not been told I will remember, for Aaru’s sake! Bloody
Arli on Pendulim and his cryptic messages - about you, I might add.
He nearly drove me insane. He confused the hell out of … never
mind.”

Elianas
inclined his head. “Augin? The Palace Guard who was like a brother
to you? I liked him. For a while he kept you grounded in my
stead.”

Torrullin
closed his eyes. He still missed Augin. Then, “Help me
remember.”