The Neighbor #3 (The Neighbor #3) (3 page)

“She left. It was fun. It was meant to
be—Valerie!” Ryder shouted. “I remembered her name. It was supposed to be a one
night thing.”

“Here is where the drama comes in,” I said.

My coffee was growing cold. Max was done with
his Fruit Loops so we walked to class.

“Jenna, Valerie called me five times. I can
see one call being courtesy call to tell me how amazing I was. You remember all
about that, Jenna – right?”

“Right, Max.” I laughed and nudged him with my
elbow.

“I never once returned her messages. She
didn’t take a hint. She is nice and the girl can dance but I’m not looking for
a thing. With the right girl I might be interested, but not Valerie,” Max said.

“I hope you find a nice way to let Valerie
down. The good news is that this is a large school and it’s unlikely that you
will run into her,” I said. “Let’s sit in the same seats we usually take. I am
getting used to our spot behind Rozi and Rosemary. There is not much we can say
that they have not already heard,” I said as Max approached our seats.

“Shit,” Max said stopping short as we made our
way into the room.

“What, did you step in something?” I asked

His voice was uneasy. “No, it appears a new
girl joined the class.”

I laughed. “She has probably been here all
along and you just haven’t noticed her.”

“I would normally agree, but
it’s
Valerie from The Spot.”

I snickered. “Now you know how I feel.”

****

Ryder walked in the room, so Max and his
problems would have to wait until after class. Ryder was wearing his teaching
garb, which included a tie and his golf cap.

The way he eyed me made me feel as if he was
mine. Since our intense bonding had happened, I was confident that Ryder and I
had laid the foundation for a relationship.

“Hey all.
Today we are going to begin our unit on a very delicate subject. We
are going to discuss pregnancy. You all know where babies come from and we have
discussed methods we can use to prevent unexpected pregnancies and sexually
transmitted disease. You will notice that I do not call them unwanted
pregnancies but unexpected pregnancies. I’m going to give you a very important
piece of advice. If you are a woman and you think you’re pregnant—go to health
services. Do not waste time because decisions need to be made by you, and
hopefully your partner. A tiny fetus is not going to wait around to grow,”
Ryder said in his professorial tone, which was different from his every day
voice. Then there was his bedroom voice, which was amazing. Thinking of the
sound of that voice pushed me to think about things not suited to the
classroom.

I listened to Ryder’s lecture and I appeared
to be paying attention to the words coming out of his mouth but I wasn’t. I was
watching his body sway when he spoke. It was better than watching a ballet. I
could see nearly every girl in the class staring at him. I was intimate with
the guy that a lot of girls wanted. This never happened to me.

“I know this class has been a bit of a bummer.
Pregnancy is beautiful at the right time. If you chose to zone out as we talked
about various safe sex methods, then I hope you listened today.

Class was over and Ryder collected his things.
He was not in any hurry to leave so I took it as a signal that he would be
available to chat after the others left. I assumed that we would make plans for
the upcoming days to do something special.

“Are you coming, Jenna? Max asked. “Oh, I
forgot, you have to check in with lover boy. I’ll wait for
ya
at the bottom of the steps.”

“I may be a while, Max.” I winked.

“No problem,” he said, and walked off.

Ryder closed the door once everyone had left,
leaving us alone.

“I swear it looked as if there was a fucking
halo over your head in class today,” he said while walking back to the podium.

“Halo – really, Ryder? A halo on
my
head after the other night? I doubt it,” I said. Ryder
strode over and tugged me out of my chair and pulled me tight to his chest.

“It was where you were sitting Jenna. The
sunlight was directed at the top of your blonde head. With your white shirt,
you looked like a fucking angel. I know that you are more of a devil but you’re
my devil and I can’t
fucking
get enough of you.”

“We have a long weekend so you will have
plenty of me…I will be able to stay all night without having to worry about my
mother. I will cook something decadent for dinner and I will serve you
breakfast in bed. I make a great omelet if you like eggs. I do remember that
with the chemo my father couldn’t tolerate eggs though but I’m sure we can work
around it.” I was bubbling with anticipation.

“Whoa. Slow down. Everything sounds wonderful
but perhaps another time. I won’t be able to spend time with you at all this
weekend.” Ryder pulled away.

“Why not?”
I asked. I felt that I deserved some sort of
an explanation.

“I have been neglecting some things and they
are important things that need my attention. I don’t want to get into it now.”
Ryder was obviously uncomfortable.

“You can’t be hiding anything else, Ryder. I
know how old you are and I know you have cancer. If it’s about chemo, I can
help you through it. Or are you married or something?”

“I am not married, Jenna,” Ryder said flatly.

“Nice time to retreat, Ryder. I put a great
deal on the line to be with you. I am so confused by you sometimes. Call me
when you are finished with your important matters and be prepared to come clean
about whatever you are hiding.”

I stormed out of the classroom as Ryder called
my name.

“Jenna, Jenna Walsh. You have to—” Ryder’s
voice trailed off.

****

Max was waiting for me when I walked out of
class and I was clearly agitated. Anyone who knew me well knew that when I was
flustered I grabbed the elastic from my wrist and put my hair up. True to form,
I pulled my hair up tight into a ponytail.

“That wasn’t long, Jenna. Did you manage a
quickie under the desk?”

“Max, I am not in the mood. Why don’t you go
talk to your friend, Valerie?” I tried to rush past him.

“Was your man not in the mood or did he blow
his wad too quickly? It is unfortunate when that stuff happens, but it is most
likely his age. I am not looking forward to being old.”

As always, I tried hard to ignore Max, which
was not an easy task. I should have been thankful that I had a friend who could
make me smile when I wanted to cry. I cracked a small grin, but I was still
upset.

“Ryder is a jackass. Can we just leave it at
that?” I snapped at Max and hurried back to Leach Hall.

Thank god Kelly was not there. I emptied my
golf bag on the floor. Memories came flooding back. I thought about his hands
cradling mine as I practiced my grip and the sweet smell of his breath. His
initials stood out on the underbelly of my pink Calloway bag. Tees and balls
lay scattered on the floor and my anger turned to sadness.

I was sick of his secrets.

I had no idea why Ryder was not able to see me
that weekend. In the back of my mind, I knew Ryder was not married. I had so
many questions. Was I foolish and built up our relationship too much in my
mind? I hated to think of myself as so stupid. He had said he needed me too. I
knew the best medicine was a very long run because, if I did not redirect my
feelings, I was apt to hurl my irons out the window. That would have been a
tough one to explain to the campus police.

Kelly walked into our room. I hated anyone to
see me that way. My face was red and stained with the trails of my tears.

“Hey, Kelly,” I said.

“You look like you have been crying. What’s
up?” Kelly asked.

“Something someone said took me by surprise
and pissed me off,” I said.

The room was a mess. It looked as if a tornado
had touched down. It may have been a familiar sight to Kelly from Kansas.

“Is there anything I can do?” Kelly was
sympathetic and not pissed about the room.

“I realize that I must look pathetic, but I
assure you, Kelly, this will pass. I just had a meltdown. I will run it out of
me,” I said shyly.

“Don’t worry, I have seen worse. I have a
little brother and he has done plenty of damage to his room. I shudder to think
what he would do with a set of golf clubs. I am here if you want to talk, but until
then, I will give you your space.” Kelly smiled.

“Thanks,
Kel
. You
are just what I needed.”

I threw on my spandex and inserted my ear
buds,
then
I was out of Leach Hall and on the road.

Chapter
Four

On Friday, I departed from psychology class
and decided to go home for the weekend. It was my intention to recharge my
batteries, repair the mess between my mother and me, and spend time with
Sayler. I was lying to myself that Ryder would not be on my mind since I was
going to be within spitting distance of his house. From my mom’s bathroom, I
would have a clear view of his bedroom. Her toilet’s location made it the
perfect perch from which to watch him sleep—or perform other bedroom
activities. It was his other activities that made me cringe. If I were to see
Ryder in bed with another woman, I would be tempted to throw some bottles of
lotion out the window.

I packed my duffle with some clothes for the
weekend. I threw in an unspectacular array of jeans and t-shirts. I placed my
out-of-fashion, ripped jeans in my bag. I would not have the opportunity to
impress anyone with my threads. My mother’s garden needed to be put to bed,
requiring my grungiest attire. I would be pulling apart the tomato plants and
remnants of the squash vines. It was my least favorite part of the fall. It
represented the end of something. I was trying not to create an analogy in my
mind between my relationship with Ryder ending and the garden that had gone to
seed.

As I was packing my toiletries, my phone
buzzed with the arrival of a text. It was from Ryder. Before pressing delete,
which I had become accustomed to doing, I read the message.

Have a
grt
w/e.
J

I wasn’t ready to talk to Ryder until he
showed that he was ready to tell me what was going on. I threw my bag in my
car, plugged in my iPod, and dialed up the volume. I had playlists to suit
every mood. Each one was arranged with the help of my nephew. I sang along to
Beyoncé, who—along with the help of Katy Perry, Taylor Swift and a little
Alicia Keys—would improve my mood. I put my car on cruise control to not risk
another speeding ticket.

****

I pulled up to my mother’s home. Of course, I
passed by Ryder’s house. He was not home; the lights were out. His car was not
in the driveway, so I assumed that he was on the golf course finishing a round
before the sun set. Maybe he was in the lounge by that point, guzzling a beer.

He shouldn’t be drinking alcohol.

Constant worries about Ryder and remembering
his touch followed me. I turned off the music and took a deep breath before
entering my mother’s house.

“Hi, Mom.
I hope you got my message that I would be staying over for a couple
of nights. If I am not welcome, I will sleep on the Lindner’s couch,” I said.

My mom was wearing a skirt and one of my old
silk blouses. I had worn them during a stage that I was trying to look older.
The look did not suit me and the items had been relegated to the back of my
closet.

She sighed. “Of course you are welcome. You
are my daughter, and, despite what you say, this is your home. I think we are
both going through a growth phase. We are in different places and that is going
to put our differences under a microscope.”

“Hell, Mom. Did you sit in on my psych class?
You sound like Dr. Phil,” I said. I was surprised at my mom’s maturity.

“No.” My mother laughed. “I am reading one of
those self-help books. I have many of them whose spines have never been
cracked. I am a little behind but I am reading. Falling asleep without the help
of gin is taking some getting used to.” My mother gave me an apologetic grin.

“Yeah.
God job, Mom.
I think I could use some of
those books myself.” I threw down my bag.

“I cleaned your sheets, Jenna. I guess it is
none of my business, but I’m still your mother. It is my business to know
things. Why aren’t you with the professor?”

“The professor’s name is Ryder and I don’t
want to discuss it right now. I’m here to work on your jungle out back. Can you
let me focus on that?” I asked firmly.

“I will try and respect that, Jenna. I made
rosemary chicken for dinner. Can you believe I actually used the conventional
oven? I had to read the users-manual and it probably tastes like dog shit but I
tried it. Speaking of dog shit, I have to take Potato for a walk.”