The Narrowboat Girl (40 page)

Darius held up one of his huge, callused hands. ‘Now – ’old your ’orses a minute. You don’t know the life, Maryann – not ’ow things’ve got now.
For a start, we could all keep the
Esther Jane
going, but you and Joel ain’t gunna want me about for long if you’re wed, with a family coming along. That’s one thing. Now
I’d go back and work a Fellows’ boat down London like I done before and leave you to it once Joel’s got ’is strength back if that were just it. But it’s all changing.
We just ain’t keeping ahead and getting the loads we need. Now – I’ve thought long and hard about this, and tomorrow Essy Barlow’s gunna be ’ere and ’e’s
taking on the
Esther Jane
– and what’s more—’ He held his hand up again to prevent Maryann from interrupting. ‘There’re going to be changes.
’E’s promised to put a motor in ’er and we’ll work a pair again. When you and Joel are ready to work ’er together you can ’ave ’er for your home with my
blessing, but that’s ’ow it’ll ’ave to be. I don’t like it neither, but we’re going to ’ave to ’just to it. That’s the only way we’re
gunna keep up.’

‘A motor? You mean – no more Bessie?’

‘No more Bessie, and a lot of noise and stink besides. But it’s the only way forward. There’s more and more moty boats now and they shift the loads. We ent keeping up –
simple as that.’

Maryann was digesting this when the door opened and Nancy appeared, panting with two heavy bags of shopping, her coat shiny with rain.

‘Oh—’ She had expected the house to be empty and was really taken aback. ’Ello . . . Darius.’ She seemed very flustered and turned away to put the bags down, but
not before Maryann saw how much she was blushing.

‘Can I get Darius a bit of breakfast? ’E’s been on the go a long while again.’

‘No – let me get it,’ Nance said at once.

‘Very good of you, Nancy,’ Darius said gruffly.

‘No – it’s – I’m glad to. I wish I’d’ve known you was coming – I’d’ve got a bit of bacon in . . .’

While Nance fussed about cooking eggs and sawing doorsteps off a loaf of bread, Maryann reported to her what Darius had said. Nance presented him with a moutainous breakfast of eggs and fried
bread and bread and butter, then sat down with some satisfaction to watch him eat it.

‘You come to visit yer brother again then, ’ave yer?’ she asked.

Darius nodded, his strong jaws working away. ‘Thought I’d see Joel. And deal with Mr Barlow tomorrow . . .’ He paused, then added, ‘I just wondered. Today’s the
last day she’ll be our boat, proper. D’you want to come out on ’er for a bit – see ’ow she really goes before they stick a moty on ’er?’

Maryann was just about to answer when she realized his question had been addressed to Nance. After all, she was no stranger to the
Esther Jane
!

‘Ooh, well . . . today? What, now like?’ Nance seemed to swell with excitement.

‘The day’ll be over, else. See, a bloke at Gas Street said if we go down the Worcester and Birnigum Cut it goes past the back of the chocolate fact’ry and we can turn down by
Selly Oak Wharf – and you said that’s near Joel’s ’ospital.’

‘Yes, it is,’ Maryann said. ‘We could go and see him from there. We’ll ’ave to stop ’im breaking out of the ’ospital to come and see ’er! Oh go
on, Nance – it’ll be lovely, look – the rain’s going off already.’

Nance was all smiles. ‘Oh – go on then. I’d like that, Darius – I really would.’

Maryann could tell from her expression that this was something of an understatement.

‘Poor old Bessie – she’s tired,’ Maryann said as they slid out away from Gas Street amid a busy to-ing and fro-ing of joeys, some empty and riding high,
others laden and low in the water. The sky was hazy with cloud and smoke, but the rain had gone off and it was clearing up.

‘Well – we’ll go gently. Tomorrow she can ’ave a long rest,’ Darius said.

Young Ernie, who’d worked his way up with Darius, was quite happy to spend a day away on the bank. Nance had stepped aboard saying, ‘Just think, Maryann – this’ll be your
home soon. How on earth are you going to manage?’

Maryann laughed, patting Jep, who had greeted them wagging not just his tail but the whole of his body. She felt she could manage anything so long as Joel was going to get better and be beside
her. ‘I’ll ’ave to get good strong arms, that’s all! It’s a killer on yer shoulders working on ’ere.’

‘Bet I could manage,’ Nance said, prodding her muscles. Nancy had always had a robust frame and now she was thinner she looked wiry and strong, like a greyhound.

Maryann saw Darius watching Nance appraisingly. ‘Reckon you could,’ he said.

They wound along between the smoking factories, the wharves and warehouses, down the Worcester Canal, moving south. As they glided out through the Edgbaston tunnel to Bournbrook then Selly Oak,
the route became greener. Trains chugged past to their right and occasionally the sun broke through the cloud and transformed the dull, scummy ripples to silver. After a short time Maryann had
taken up her favourite position on the cabin roof, her hand stroking Jep who sat panting beside her. Coots and moorhens scooted away from the bow of the boat. Butterflies shimmered round flowers in
the grass. She took deep, contented breaths. However hard this life, whatever the struggle, this was what she wanted: this was her place and these were her people. Somehow it seemed to have chosen
her.

Nance stayed with Darius at the stern and Maryann could hear him instructing her how to work the tiller. Often she heard Nancy’s laughter and smiled. It was so good to hear Nancy enjoying
herself. She felt herself swelling with happiness, everything else forgotten except that she was here and Joel was getting better. She throbbed with love and longing for him. If only he could be
here today, it would be perfect!

They tied up at Selly Oak. Jep pottered off to explore the towpath while they ate bread and cheese that Nancy had brought. Darius had some plums on board, the skins a beautiful reddish orange
that seemed to contain the very sunshine that had ripened them. They were sweet and delicious, and they spat the stones overboard.

‘So’re we gunna turn round ’ere then?’ Nance asked.

Darius laughed. ‘You can’t just turn ’er anywhere. The cut’s narrower than the boat – look.’

‘Oh yes—’ Nance chuckled. ‘So it is. I never thought about that before!’

‘You ’ave to find a winding ’ole where you can turn – it’s just keep going otherwise.’

All morning he had been explaining things to her. Maryann had never heard him speak anything like as much before. She watched them as they perched together at the stern, eating their lunch. It
was only then it truly dawned on her. It was so clear in their eyes, the way Darius looked at Nance, her radiance in his presence. However much they tried to hide it, to behave normally, she could
see the two of them were falling deeply in love, and she was filled with dread and sorrow.

Maryann turned away from them. What Nance had said this morning,
But now I know there’s summat more . . .
Had she just been talking about what Maryann and Joel had? She
hadn’t, had she? She had been saying so much more. She could hear their voices behind her, and it only increased her sense of disquiet. She thought of Mick and pitied him. But she pitied
Nance just as much, and Darius for his lonely, hardworking existence.

There came another peal of laughter from Nance; a youthful, carefree sound.

God, Nance, Maryann thought, just keep yourself under control.

Whatever happened, if they gave rein to their feelings, someone was going to end up broken-hearted.

‘Look who I’ve brought!’

Joel was just waking as they arrived and Maryann leaned down and kissed him tenderly. He returned the kiss, clasping her hand, then caught sight of his brother.

‘Darius!’ He made a couple of attempts and finally managed to haul himself up. ‘Damn it – I keep forgetting I’m weak as a kitten!’

‘This is my friend Nance – she’s putting me up for the time being.’

‘Putting up with ’er more like.’ Nance laughed. ‘Nice to meet yer at last.’

‘We’ll go out for now,’ Maryann said, taking Nance’s arm firmly. She had words to say to her. ‘Let you two ’ave a chat.’ She knew Darius was going to
have to tell Joel about Mr Barlow.

‘What’s going on, Nance?’ she demanded in a fierce whisper, once they were out in the corridor. There was a constant flow of people up and down, nurses and visitors, so no one
took much notice of them.

‘What’re you on about?’

‘You – making up to Darius, that’s what.’ Maryann found she was furious and boiling over with frustration. Of course Darius and Nance were right together! It stood out a
mile. When she was with him, Nance was the happy, laughing person she had been before her marriage. She should be able to be with him and spend her life with him. But it couldn’t be like that
because Nance was Mrs Mallone and Mrs Mallone she would have to stay.

Nance looked crestfallen. ‘Oh Lor’, Maryann – does it show that much? I never meant it – I know ’ow wrong it is. Only whenever I’m near ’im I just
can’t help myself. I know ’e likes me – you can tell, can’t yer? I just feel so
right
when ’e’s here. Oh, I’d give anything. . . .’ She looked
appealingly at Maryann. ‘Look – I know why yer going on at me. But Darius’ll be gone soon and once you’re away I’ll never see ’im again. I’ll just
’ave to swallow the fact. Let me enjoy today, that’s all.’ With tears in her voice she finished, ‘Then I’ll ’ave to get back to my proper life.’

They pulled back into the Gas Street wharves in the cool late afternoon.

Maryann had been leading Bessie for the last part of the journey, patting her and talking to her to encourage her. Despite the horse’s obvious weariness she seemed happy enough to plod
along. There were few flies to bother her and it wasn’t too hot.

‘I’m going to miss you, Bessie,’ she murmured, kissing her hot, smooth neck. ‘What’s going to become of you, eh?’

When she had gone back in to see Joel, Maryann looked anxiously to see how he was taking the news about the
Esther Jane
, but he looked calm enough.

‘You’ve told ’im then?’ she asked Darius.

‘We’ll still have our home.’ Joel looked at her and she swelled inside with happiness. ‘After all this I’m happy knowing I’m going to be alive. Everything
else comes after that.’

As the afternoon wore on, she felt increasingly that she should leave Darius and Nance alone together and give them a chance to say anything that needed to be said.

She was walking ahead of the
Esther Jane
with Bessie, but once when she looked back she saw that Darius had an arm round Nance’s shoulders, their faces were close as they talked
with obvious intensity. The shortage of time together had speeded up events. Maryann looked away, full of sorrow.

When they had tied up and stabled Bessie and it was time to say goodbye, Nance could contain herself no longer. Maryann had come back from the stables, tearful at parting with Bessie, to find
her and Darius in each other’s arms. Seeing it was time to go home, Nance also burst into tears.

‘Oh, I can’t leave yer, Darius. I can’t – it ain’t right. Today’s been the best day of my life – I just want to stay with you!’

‘I know,’ he said, gently trying to loose her from him, though Maryann could see how little he really wanted to. ‘But you can’t just come with me, Nancy. You’re
married – it’d be wrong.’

‘Why’s it wrong when I don’t love ’im? I love
you
. Oh, I’ve said it now—’ She stood sobbing, distraught, beside the
Esther Jane
.
‘But that’s how it is. I’ve never loved ’im and now I’m stuck with ’im and it ain’t right!’

‘Oh Nancy . . .’ Darius put his hand on her shoulder, casting a desperate look at Maryann. ‘You don’t know what I’d give for things to be different . . . I’d
like you as my wife, and that’s the truth of it . . .’

Still weeping, Nance thrashed her hands back and forth through the air in furious frustration. ‘It ain’t fair. Why do things ’ave to be as they are – eh? Why did I go and
say I’d marry Mick? It was so stupid –
stupid . . .
as if ’e was the only man who was ever going to come along!’

‘Come on, Nance—’ Maryann said gently. ‘We’re going to ’ave to get home . . .’

‘Go on—’ Darius said, his voice cracking. ‘Please – go now.’

They held each other one last time before Darius pulled away and stepped down into the
Esther Jane
. He ducked into the cabin as if he could not bear to watch them both walk away.

On Monday morning Maryann set off to find Amy and Margaret again. It was a cool, overcast morning with a definite nip of autumn and she was worried that the girls might not
come to the park. If they didn’t come out she would be forced to go to the house. She knew she had to see them.

It had been a difficult weekend. Nance was as low as Maryann had ever seen her and she had spent as much time with her as possible, trying to console her and keep her mind away from Darius.
Maryann had gone to Mass with her and Mick, and Nance kept filling up with tears all the way through.

‘What the hell’s the matter with you?’ Mick demanded when they stepped outside the church.

‘Nothing
you
’d ever understand,’ Nance snarled at him which sent Mick swearing off into the distance in a temper.

‘I feel as if my life’s over,’ Nance sobbed to Maryann.

All weekend she had been casting hateful looks at Mick. Maryann felt terrible for her, but they both knew Nance was going to have to settle down and forget Darius.

On Sunday when Maryann went to see Joel he was sitting up waiting for her.

‘They’ve said another week or so and I can be off out of here!’ He beamed. ‘Oh – I’ve almost forgotten what it’s like to breathe in fresh air. Just the
idea of being able to go out and walk round outside seems – well, I can hardly take it in!’

‘Oh Joel – I can’t wait until we can be together,’ Maryann said. She was desperate to leave Nance’s house with all its unhappiness. Although she felt guilty about
leaving Nance there was nothing she could do about her situation. She longed to get on with her life with Joel after all the waiting.