The Myatheira Chronicles: Volume Two: Beyond the Veil (79 page)

Coming to sit at her side Callum slid underneath Aiva to act as a support where she leaned precariously forward from her knees. Facing him only made the guilt worse. He was there to ease her suffering and he had no way of knowing what she’d done to him. “Aiva, are you sick? Are you hurt? Did something happen?” His eyes shifted to where her hands clutched at her stomach, a sudden look of panic crossing his handsome features. “You… you’re not… are you?”

Confused by his reaction she shifted her weight back, staring at him blankly. “I’m not what?” she sniffled.

“I just… I’m not familiar with… women,” he stammered. “I guess it would be a little soon to tell if you were… with child.”

Realization dawned on her, an overwhelming desire to laugh building up inside. Quickly, she removed her hands from her stomach, holding them out in front of her defensively. “No. Goodness, no,” she blushed. An odd expression passed over her face to think on what he suggested. In honesty, she couldn’t deny the possibility. Unlikely as it was. Now was not the time for her to worry about that. “You’re right. It’s much too soon for us to be concerned. As happy as it would make my grandmother, I would rather not consider that right now.”

“Then I don’t understand,” he said, a hint of relief evident in his tone. “Are you still thinking about Kaemin? If so, there is no reason for you to be alone. You could have woken me.”

“No, it isn’t that at all,” Aiva grimaced. How could she tell him? He would be furious if he knew the truth. At the same time, she couldn’t keep it from him. It was best he hear it from her before his father confronted him. “Callum,” she started, hesitant. “I have done something terrible. You are going to hate me.”

The nervousness returned to his eyes, staring at her, as if afraid to ask what she meant. Gently he pulled her closer, a soft hushing sound emitting from his lips in attempts to soothe her. “Did something happen last night? If any of the men touched you, just tell me and I will take care of them…”

“It’s not the men, Callum. I did something to you.” Her breath came out in a shaky exhale. This was harder than she expected. She wasn’t ready to tell him. Why couldn’t he have stayed sleeping just a little longer?

His confusion was deepening. Searching his body Callum looked for anything out of place. Finding nothing, he settled his gaze on Aiva, inquisitive. “Aiva, I don’t understand. Did you have a nightmare? Maybe the storm is affecting your subconscious.”

She needed to say it. He didn’t deserve to be strung along like this. Every effort he made only added to her guilt. If she didn’t say something soon, she felt she might explode. She sat back to place distance between them. It wouldn’t be a good idea to have his arms around her once he heard what she had to tell him. “Callum, listen. I should have told you this a long time ago.” She swallowed hard.
You can do this. It is better to be honest with him.
How could this be better? They had only just found happiness and now she was about to ruin everything. “I said some things before we left Tanispa. Things I shouldn’t have said. And I don’t mean just the conversations between you and me. When Dacian told me his exaggerated version of the events in Siscal, I mentioned the story to some people that, in retrospect, I probably shouldn’t have.”

Callum’s body stiffened. Slowly he retracted his hands from Aiva to rest them in his lap, fingers clenched tightly into fists. He said nothing, only staring at Aiva expectantly, waiting for her to continue.

“I had no intention of it reaching… No. That would be a lie,” she frowned. Thinking on her foolishness she wanted to scream.
Idiot!
How could she claim it was all an accident? Everything had gone exactly the way she wanted at the time. Unfortunately, she had been an absolute imbecile. “No one listened at first, and I wish they had continued to ignore me. That would have been better. Edric passed the stories off as lies, given my source. When Shaelyn was kidnapped I even tried to convince my father that you were somehow involved and he argued in your defense, telling me that I was overemotional due to the stress of the situation. But I was so convinced! I thought you were evil. When you went with Edric and my father to search the grounds of the palace, I asked Lord Diah about you. I made him promise to investigate the matter.”

All color drained from Callum’s face. He fought to keep himself calm, posture erect, his breathing shallow. “I’m not comfortable with where this is headed.”

Agonized by the guilt, she felt the tears start to fall again. “Callum, I honestly thought it would end at that. Until we met with Edric in Palinon, I thought it had,” she paused, a sob jarring her body while she struggled to keep her composure long enough to finish. “When we first boarded the ship, he apologized for not listening when I tried to tell him about you. I argued about how wrong I had been. I no longer believed Dacian’s lies to be true. But Lord Diah did investigate the matter. From what Edric told me, he and your father interviewed several of the men from your unit and received affirmations on most of the initial claims. This was the reason they were so late setting sail to meet us.”

“So my father knows? About everything?”

“Regrettably, yes. I tried to tell Edric the truth. My hope was that he would pass the defense on to our fathers when he met with them in Dackdyn.”

“And when exactly did you plan to tell me? Do you have any idea the repercussions this will have on me? My career? On us, Aiva? Did you think about that? If they take this to trial and find me guilty, you may discover yourself a single woman after all.”

Single? Would they rescind the marriage? “How could they do that?” she asked, desperation ringing in her words. “The marriage was consummated. It cannot be undone.”

“Really?” Callum exclaimed, exasperated. “In case you didn’t notice, your parents happen to be the King and Queen of Tanispa. They can undo anything they choose. As the heir to the throne, your husband is not a choice they can take lightly. If I am disgraced or dishonored in any way, until the day you wear the crown, our vows can be annulled at their whim.”

“What would you have me do, Callum?” she cried. It was worse than she thought! Her heart finally knew what it wanted and she had screwed everything up because of her inability to utilize common sense. “Tell me what I can do to make things right and I will do it.”

Rising to his feet, Callum began an agitated pace across the tiny room. She wanted to reach out to him but she feared he would push her away. Not that she could blame him if he did. She didn’t deserve him. He had every right to hate her for what she’d done. “There is nothing to be done,” he threw his arms up in frustration. “This is one game you secured your victory in, Aiva. My career is finished. And while I might manage to escape execution out of some favor in being the General’s son, rest assured that I will be banished from court.”

She watched him, miserable at her inability to console him. There had to be something she could do. She was the Princess! Her word had to hold some sway in the decision. She refused to accept that her parents would be so unreasonable.

Fists tight at his sides, Callum turned toward the door. Aiva was on her feet instantly. She couldn’t let him leave. Not like this. He would calm down soon enough and they would be able to rationalize a plan. It always worked before when they were faced with impossible situations. They wouldn’t be where they were now if not for their ability to push through the hardships together. In swift and agile strides she stepped between Callum and the door to block his path.

“Aiva, get out of my way.”

“Callum, please,” she begged. “We can fix this.”

“I said get out of my way. I want to be alone!” His hands grabbed onto her biceps to lift her from the ground. She sank her weight, hand gripped firmly around the handle on the door to prevent him from picking her up.

“I’m not letting you leave. I know you’re angry, and I cannot blame you for hating me, but I am begging you not to go!”

“Hate you?” Callum exhaled in disbelief. “I don’t hate you, Aiva. That’s exactly what the problem is. I love you. More now than I ever thought I did before. If my career was the only thing I stood to lose, I could tolerate that dishonor, but they will take you from me. When we reach Luquarr, they could send me away and I might never see you again. I can’t live without you, Aiva. I tried for fifteen years to survive with the thought of not having you with me and it was absolute hell. Please, do not torture me right now.”

His grip tightened again to move her away from the door but she held strong. What kind of friend would she be if she let him walk away at a time like this? He needed her. He just couldn’t see it the way she could. “If you have to hit something, Callum, then hit me. I deserve it. Otherwise, I refuse to let you out this door.”

She flinched at the sound of Callum’s fist striking the door beside her head, his body moving in closer. A soft cry escaped her in surprise. The rapid beat of her heart made her feel faint. “What kind of man do you take me for?” he asked through gritted teeth. “You think I would raise my hand to you? I admit there are women I wouldn’t hesitate to strike. You, however, are not one of them. Even when I think I could not possibly be angrier with you, my instincts say to lash out, but for some reason my body can think to do nothing but take you in my arms. What kind of witchcraft have you placed upon me, Aiva? I am convinced you could rip my still-beating heart from my chest and I would continue to love you. Put me out of my misery for the damnable mistake I made with that whore of a woman in Siscal. If I had known it would haunt me this way, I never would have come back to Tanispa.”

The anger was slowly starting to wane. She could see it in his eyes, their bright umber glow fading. His head lowered in defeat to rest against Aiva’s shoulder, wrapping his arms around her in a tender embrace. Her heart ached for him. It tortured her to know his suffering was because of her. And he was right. His relationship with Ireni was an innocent mistake. One that many people made throughout their lives. Her own mother had been betrothed to another man before she married Thade, and that man had fallen to the sorcerous magic of the blasphemous Ven’shal. Her previous engagement to that traitor hadn’t prevented her from finding happiness. So why should Callum be punished for something far less severe? If General Cadell wouldn’t listen to Aiva’s protests, her mother would surely be a more reasonable ear. In the end, her mother’s verdict was the only one that mattered. A pardon by the Queen would clear him of all suspicion.

“Callum, I need you to trust me to help with this,” she whispered soothingly into his ear. “I know you are used to handling everything on your own and carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders for the sake of your men, but that is not the case with me. With us. I love you, and I am not going to let them take you from me. It was my stubbornness that got you into this mess. I have faith that it can also be what sets you free.”

“For some reason I believe you,” he laughed miserably into her hair. “You’re just crazy enough that I think you could talk our parents into anything.”

“It may require me to blackmail them if they try to argue my logic. The bottom line is that I’m not going to back down,” she assured him. “No matter what, you have my word that you are not going to lose me. I don’t care if it means I have to banish myself to be by your side, you will not be without me. We promised, remember? No more leaving. It is not allowed.”

A loud roar of thunder caused Aiva to jump with a start. Callum took advantage of her distraction to move her away from the door, her hand reaching out for the handle in dismay to realize she had lost her grip. She struggled to move in front of him, her frantic reaching slowly coming to a halt when she saw that he wasn’t leaving. He stood there, stoic and still, the only movement that of his hand to slide the lock into place, securing them inside the room together. “You’re right,” he nodded calmly. “I wouldn’t be much of a husband if I walked out on you now. My only concern is that I may have to rely on you more than I like to admit if we are going to have a chance. You know my father. He will be displeased. I think I fear disappointing him more than I do the banishment itself. Ever since I was a child, all I wanted was to be like him. I wanted him to be proud of me. For some reason I keep stumbling in my attempts to achieve that. My father has seen enough disappointment in his life. I don’t want to be the cause of anymore.”

“You won’t be. When all is said and done, I suspect you might be surprised to discover just how proud of you he really is.”

“I hope you’re right, Aiva.”

“There is no need for hoping. I know this to be true,” she smiled. “I saw it in his eyes the day of our wedding. The one in Escovul, of course. Something tells me neither of our parents would have been very proud of us last night.” Aiva stifled a laugh at the memory. For all the drinks they consumed, she recalled far more than she expected. Enough to cause her face to flush while gazing into Callum’s eyes. A similar pink hue tinted Callum’s cheeks, both of them laughing quietly in spite of themselves. “He only wants what is best for you,” she continued. “You are his son. If you explain everything to him, he will see that you were not to blame and are not the traitor Dacian wanted us to believe. And everyone aboard the ship whose lives you saved by sacrificing yourself to the divastru – they will vouch for your loyalty as well. Don’t forget that my brother was among those you protected.”

The concern vanished from Callum’s face. Every line softened, his hand beckoning for her to come with him as he moved toward the cot. “Will you sit with me, Aiva?” he asked quietly, settling himself on the tiny bed. “There is something I would like to share with you.”

Curious, Aiva did as he requested. She climbed onto the cot, curled lovingly at his side, relaxed against his firm frame. His hands pulled the blankets over them, resting his head against the wall.

“Do you hear that?” he asked. “One of my favorite sounds when I was at sea was the rain. Storms can be soothing to a weary mind. I remember lying in bed, listening to the thunder at night, and thinking to myself how much I wished you could be there with me. To enjoy the peacefulness of it.”