The Moment She Left (21 page)

‘To see Dad?’ Andee said curiously.

‘No. Him. Graeme Ogilvie.’

Andee’s insides folded as she said, ‘When?’

‘Before I came here. Don’t worry, I didn’t say anything. I didn’t even get to speak to him, because I chickened out and ran away.’

‘Oh Alayna,’ Andee murmured, drawing her back into her arms.

‘I wanted to ask him to leave you alone and let you come home again . . .’

‘But Alayna . . .’

‘I wanted him to know that he had no business breaking up other people’s families, and he ought to give more consideration to others.’

Endlessly thankful that her nerve had failed her, Andee said, ‘Alayna, you need to believe me when I tell you that I’m not having a relationship with Graeme. He’s a friend, that’s all, and I’m seeing a little more of him at the moment because I’m helping Blake Leonard, as you know, and Graeme’s sister, Mrs C, has a few issues that I’m helping with too.’

Alayna’s head came up. ‘Mrs C is his sister?’ she echoed, confused.

Andee nodded.

Apparently not sure what to make of that, Alayna said, ‘What’s wrong with her? Why is she having issues?’

‘It doesn’t matter, what does is that you . . .’

‘So you’re helping everyone except us?’

‘Don’t do this,’ Andee chided. ‘I’m trying to help you now by being honest with you, and by being here so you can tell me how you feel and we can discuss it.’

‘But you’re not listening.’

‘I am. I’m just not willing to be pushed into doing what you want me to.’

With a growl of frustration Alayna fell back against the sofa and pushed her hair from her face. ‘I can remember when I felt like your best friend,’ she said miserably. ‘It’s like you don’t want to be that any more. You’re shutting me out.’

Realising they were coming close to some sharp words being spoken, mostly by her, Andee got up to open the window and stood for a moment gazing out at the busy promenade and beach beyond. The sea air was fresh and salty, the burble of voices was cheerful, and as she watched the people coming and going she thought of how many personal dramas were playing out right now, not just here in Kesterly, but everywhere. Lives were in turmoil for any number of reasons, health, marriages, careers were in jeopardy, but a casual glance at a passer-by would reveal nothing. People went about their days with their stories locked up inside them, their struggles and angst carefully hidden from strangers.

She remembered her father telling her once, after Penny had gone, that they weren’t the only ones. They hadn’t been singled out for this much suffering and heartache while the rest of the world continued
untouched, unharmed. ‘No one’s immune,’ he’d said, ‘any more than they’re gifted with special powers to endure the challenges life throws their way, or to overcome a loss – and it’s almost always a loss of some kind that plunges blameless lives into chaos and despair.’

As those words resonated with her all over again, Andee heard Alayna say, ‘You could come back with me now. I know Dad wants you to.’

Turning to her, Andee said, ‘Alayna, I realise that Dad and me breaking up is a big thing for you, but you’re not a child any more, you need to face it, and while you’re at it you could spare a thought for how it feels to be Matt Leonard, or anyone else in his position. He has no idea where his sister is, what’s happened to her, or whether he’ll ever see her again. When compared to something like that, can you see how important it is to gain a proper perspective on your own issues and deal with them as bravely and considerately as you can?’

Alayna’s eyes were wide as she looked at her mother, and filled with the kind of tenderness Andee was used to seeing in her. ‘I think about that family quite a lot,’ she admitted tearfully. ‘It must be so awful for them, I can’t begin to imagine, but I know you can.’ Getting up, she came to put her arms round her mother. ‘It’s bringing it all back for you, isn’t it?’ she said softly.

‘In a way,’ Andee replied, ‘but you’re my main concern now.’

‘No, Jessica should be. I can see how selfish I’m being, and I shouldn’t be, because we have so much compared to Matt and his family.’

Stroking her hair, Andee said, ‘This is the girl I know and love.’

‘Is there anything I can do?’ Alayna offered. ‘I’d like to help if I can.’

Surprised, and touched, Andee was about to let her down gently when she suddenly realised that actually there was something Alayna could do.

It was Friday morning just after nine o’clock, and Rowzee was checking she’d packed everything she needed for her trip to Devon as she took a call from Jilly. ‘It’s very kind of you to offer me an appointment today,’ she was saying chattily, ‘but I’m afraid I have something important to do.’

‘But this is important,’ Jilly scolded. ‘We have to talk about radiotherapy . . .’

‘We will,’ Rowzee promised, ‘just not today.’

‘Then when?’

‘I’ll call you early next week to see when you can fit me in, but my position hasn’t changed. I still don’t want it.’

‘Why don’t you just let me tell you more about it?’

‘I already know, and I don’t want it.’

Apparently deciding to park that for the moment, Jilly said, ‘How are you getting along with the dexamethasone? Please tell me you’re taking it.’

‘I am, and I’m happy to report that it seems to be working. I woke up without a headache this morning, and I didn’t feel nauseous or dizzy either.’ This was true, and she couldn’t feel more relieved.

‘That’s good, but remember, it’s a steroid so you won’t be able to stay on it for long. However, it’ll be even more effective if you combine it with radiotherapy.’

‘Do you have the certificate for me yet? The one I need for the doctors in Switzerland.’

‘I’ve discussed it with Mr Mervin and he’d like to see you.’

Having expected as much, Rowzee said, ‘OK, but I hope you told him that my mind is made up.’

‘I did, and I don’t think he’s intending to try and change it. He just wants to be sure you’ve thought everything through. He’ll also want you to discuss it with your family. Have you given any more thought to that?’

‘Of course, but I’m afraid my position hasn’t changed on that either. I’m very sorry, Jilly, but I have to go now. I promise to call next week,’ and replacing the receiver she went to make sure that what she’d heard was Andee arriving early, and not Pamela returning for something she’d forgotten.

Seeing it was Pamela she braced herself, just in case their earlier discussion still wasn’t over.

‘I can’t let you do this on your own,’ Pamela declared the instant she came through the door. ‘I’m sorry, I just can’t.’

Getting slightly muddled by her recent conversation with Jilly, Rowzee said, ‘How on earth did you find out? Who told you?’

Startled, Pamela replied, ‘You did, last night. For heaven’s sake, please don’t tell me you’ve forgotten already. We were only discussing it ten minutes ago.’

Quickly catching up, Rowzee said, ‘I really don’t need you to come with me. Andee’s going to be there, and I keep telling you, Jason is the sweetest young lad, and I have a feeling his nan is the same.’

‘It’s so typical of you to say that, but I’m not a pushover like you. They’re after something . . .’

‘Please don’t let’s keep arguing about this. Even if they are, I’ll be able to make a decision . . .’

‘I don’t want you making any decisions while you’re there, do you hear me? You’re to come back and discuss them with me and Graeme first, and if that dreadful beast who claims to be Victor’s son – the monster who put Victor in a hospital bed – as much as looks at you funny you’re to get Andee to flatten him with one of her police moves.’

Breaking into a laugh, Rowzee said, ‘I’m beginning to wish I hadn’t told you . . .’

‘You didn’t until it was forced out of you. I still can’t believe you’d keep something like that to yourself. Not to tell me, your own sister . . . That man should have been prosecuted for what he did and I’d have made sure he was if I’d known. So would Graeme.’

‘Which was why we didn’t tell you. He’s Victor’s son for heaven’s sake. Now, if you don’t mind, Andee’ll be here any minute and I need to be ready.’

Grabbing her suddenly, Pamela smothered her in a bruising embrace.

Rowzee gasped, trying to get some air. ‘What was that for?’ she demanded when Pamela, just as abruptly, let her go.

‘I’m trying to let you know how much you mean to me,’ Pamela told her, this rare confession of feeling making it hard for her to meet Rowzee’s eyes. ‘I want to be there for you, but I understand that all three of us can’t go in, so I’m happy for Andee to go in my place. She’ll be less likely to say something offensive.’

Rowzee blinked in amazement. ‘You? Say something offensive?’ she repeated, seemingly aghast. ‘That would never happen.’

‘I know you’re mocking me, but I mean it, I don’t want to do anything to ruin this for you, just in case the boy’s on the level, but I don’t want you taken advantage of either.’

Smiling, Rowzee drew her back into a gentler embrace. ‘I promise to call as soon as I have some news,’ she told her.

‘Good. What time do you expect to be back?’

‘I’m not sure because Andee’s arranged to see Jenny Leonard while we’re down that way, and we might drop in on Gina Stamfield as well.’

‘Sounds like a busy day. Are you sure you’re up to all this gallivanting about? You know you haven’t been yourself . . .’

‘I’m perfectly fine, thank you, it’s only you who thinks I’m not. Now, please stop worrying about me and go and do whatever you’re supposed to be doing. You’re looking very nice again, by the way.’

Enjoying the compliment, Pamela said, ‘I’m told if you look nice on the outside it’ll make you feel nice on the inside.’

Rowzee frowned. ‘Isn’t that supposed to be the other way round?’

Pamela shrugged.

Deciding that in some instances it could work either way, Rowzee said, ‘That sounds like Andee arriving. Quickly, before she comes in, do you think there might be something between her and Graeme? I hope there is, but I can’t quite tell.’

‘Stop being such a matchmaker,’ Pamela chided. ‘First me, now Graeme. What’s wrong with us being single?’

‘Nothing, if it’s how you want to be, but I don’t think it is. Are you still Internet dating?’

‘I told you, I never was, but I’m almost ready to divulge what I have been doing. In fact, I’d hoped you might have noticed a bit more than you have by now, because I’m told I’m making great strides.’

Left to stare after her as she swept back down the hall, Rowzee racked her brains to think of what she might have noticed a little bit of, but not enough to have come to a conclusion. Apart from how well Pamela was dressing . . . Was she studying for some sort of fashion diploma? It must have something to do with beauty because her hair was looking good too, and her make-up, though still a little sloppy in places, was definitely improving.

‘Andee,’ she said, brightening as Pamela stood aside to let Andee through. ‘I’m all ready, so unless you’d like some coffee first we can go.’

‘Perhaps we can stop on the way,’ Andee suggested.

‘Please take care of her,’ Pamela said as she walked out with them, ‘and make sure she doesn’t do anything rash.’

‘You’re the one,’ Rowzee reminded her, ‘that wants Andee to flatten people with her police moves. Now, please mind your own business and go and say hello to your boyfriend.’

Startled, Pamela looked round as Bill Simmonds slowed up in his truck. ‘He’s not my boyfriend,’ she muttered, waving him on. He gave a jaunty wave back and continued to wait, so with an exaggerated sigh Pamela stalked towards him.

‘Yet,’ Rowzee said quietly behind her.

In no time at all Rowzee and Andee were driving across the heart of the moor, lapping up the mid-morning sunshine as they passed Dunkery Beacon, with the picturesque village of Luccombe glistening enticingly at its feet. Very soon they were at Webbers Post, where the school’s natural science teachers often brought young students to begin their treasure-filled nature trails. It was also where Rowzee used to park her ‘drama wheels’ as the students called her department bus, when they’d come to gain inspiration for a particular piece, or to search out venues to stage
A Midsummer Night’s Dream
or a passion play. Thrilling to the memories of the visits, Rowzee described them to Andee, her heart swelling with remembered pride and excitement as if they were happening right now. Along with the kids she’d loved every aspect of the wildlife, from rabbits and squirrels to hares, hedgehogs and mice – to the wild ponies, and more elusive red deer and wild boar. Of course, being the rascals they were the children had pounced on any exotic-looking fungi
they could find, wanting to know if it was poisonous and if so could they test it out on some of the less popular members of staff.

‘I remember roaming about the moor with Victor during spring.’ Rowzee smiled wistfully as they travelled on through endless hectares of wilderness and woodland. ‘We’d wade through seas of bluebells, the like of which I’m sure you’d never find anywhere else. He was a big nature-lover. He used to find coming here very inspiring. He’d write for hours as soon as we got home, even if the story had nothing to do with what he’d seen.’

With a smile, Andee said, ‘You still miss him?’

‘Oh, of course. It hasn’t been so long, and besides I think I always will. He and I were soulmates, you see, so I have no problem believing he’ll be waiting for me on the other side when the time comes.’ Her throat dried as she thought of how soon that might be, and if she really believed it would happen. ‘We’re meant to be together,’ she said softly, ‘and every time I come up on to the moor I feel it more deeply than ever.’

Glancing at her fondly, Andee said, ‘How did the two of you meet?’

Brightening, Rowzee said, ‘We were introduced during an anti-apartheid march back in the seventies. He was at Bath uni, I was at Bristol and busloads of us descended on London one weekend to make our voices heard. We had a fine time of our courtship after that, I can tell you, going back and forth between those two beautiful cities, although Bristol’s Waterfront hadn’t been developed back then so it definitely wasn’t the
trendy place it’s turned into now. The uni, of course, has always been one of the top in the country, which reminds me, how is Alayna?’