The Minnesota Candidate (38 page)

And Doris began to book it. Dragging her hand
along the railing, she charged down the stairs in a panic. They
rounded landing after landing, but there was no sign of a door.
Deeper and deeper they descended into the depths of the strange
house. Finally, out of breath, Doris could run no more. She and
Marie stood on yet another landing, panting like a couple of old
race horses. “Great… idea… Marie,” gasped Doris.

“Kiss… my… fat… ass,” replied Marie.

They stood there in the darkness for what might
have been only a minute, or maybe as many as ten. There was no way
of knowing. When Doris was able to breathe normally, she turned to
Marie. “What the hell was that?” she asked.

“I’ve been thinking about that,” said Marie. “I
heard something about this place being booby-trapped. Think about
it, what if they turned the power back on? If I was filthy rich and
wanted to keep people out of a spooky old house, I’d do something
just like that.”

“Just like what? What the hell are you talking
about?”

“Like that crazy laughter… I’d have it on a tape
recorder and if someone uninvited tripped over a wire, I’d blast
them with that laughing. It sure scared the crap out of us, didn’t
it?”

Doris nodded her head. “Why didn’t I think of
that? I feel so stupid. How could we have fallen for that? That’s
the oldest trick in the closet.”

“You got that right, sister. All we have to do
is remind ourselves that this house is rigged to make us look like
a couple of fools.”

“I ain’t nobody’s fool.”

“Me either. Look, let’s just keep walking at a
steady pace. No more running, we could have been killed back there.
Nice and easy, okay? If we hear anymore laughing, we just laugh
along with them. What do ya say?”

Doris laughed. Above them, much closer than the
last time, the laughter returned. Where there seemed to be a dozen
voices before, there now seemed to be a hundred. Doris continued
laughing and Marie joined in. “When you think about it,” said
Doris, “this is really funny!”

“I know,” howled Marie.

With the laughing voices behind them, but
gaining, Doris and Marie continued walking down the stairs,
laughing right along with them.

Their bed bucking like a mechanical bull, Tom
stared down at his wife. Except this monster was not Shari. The
body was the same, but Shari’s beautiful face had been twisted into
something that was beyond perverted. Her face had ballooned to
three times its normal size and there were blackish horns sticking
out from her temples. Shari’s beautiful teeth were now yellow and
jagged. The temperature in the room seemed to have fallen to below
zero. “This is not my wife,” said Tom. “This is Naamah,” he
repeated this several times as the bed leapt around the room.

Alice took him by the arm. “There’s nothing you
can do here,” she hollered, trying to be heard over the racket.
“You need to get into that house!”

Tom nodded and allowed Alice to lead him out of
the freezing room. Chona closed the door. “What’s the plan?” she
asked. “I’m going with you, just so you know that. I can kick some
serious ass, if it comes to that.”

Alice nodded her head and smiled. “You must have
missed that part in the journals. Oh yes, you’re supposed to go
along with the boys. I thought you would have caught that. I
understand, honey, you probably haven’t picked up a book since high
school.”

Chona nodded, but her eyes said that she wanted
to kick Alice in the face. “So, you’ll stay here with Shari until
we get back?” asked Tom.

“No, I’ll stay here with Naamah. Shari is gone,
Tommy. Now there is only Naamah.”

“Can’t we leave Levitz here with you?” asked
Chona.

Alice smiled and shook her head. “He’s the
Chosen One, you can’t leave him behind. You should know that.”

“I know,” growled Chona, “it’s in the
journals.”

“Yes, honey, it’s all in there.”

“Let’s get back to Shari,” said Tom. “We go over
there and find that ray gun. Then, all I have to do is come back
here and give her a blast? That will get rid of Nallah?”

“Naamah,” said Alice. “Say it after me… Naa…
mah.”

“I don’t care what that thing’s name is. Just
tell me, and save the crap about reading it in the journals, how is
a ray gun supposed to work against a demon from hell?”

“Because,” Alice began, sarcastically, “the
reason that Naamah was able to possess Shari is because her brain
is full of microchips. Those chips opened her up to Naamah. Once we
eliminate the chips, Naamah will be driven back to where she
belongs.”

“What about our baby?”

“I’m fairly sure that your baby will be
fine.”

“That’s not good enough. I need more than
that.”

Alice pushed Tom toward the stairs. She was
surprisingly strong for an octogenarian. “Everything depends on how
long it takes for you to bring back that ray gun. You need to get
moving, young man. And don’t forget to find your mother and that
other meddling fool. Wait until I see them, boy, they are going to
get such a tongue-lashing.”

They found Sam in the kitchen. He was making
sandwiches. “I didn’t know how long we’d be over there,” he said,
spreading peanut butter across wheat bread. “I thought it was
better to be safe than sorry. You guys got any chips?”

Tom covered his face and ran out of the room.
Senator Levitz followed him out into the garage. “Did Alice tell
you?” he asked. “I’m the Chosen One. What do you think about
that?”

“I think you should shut up and help me find
some flashlights.”

“You shouldn’t talk to me like that.”

“I’ll talk to you anyway I please. If we don’t
find that ray gun, you won’t live to be the Chosen One. Now, get
looking for a flashlight and anything else you think we could
use.”

Levitz wandered over to the control panel for
the electrical system. The door was open and he studied the
breakers. “This might help,” he said. “The power is off. Here,
there we go. I flipped it back on. You can thank me later.”

The words had no sooner slipped from his mouth
when several alarms began to blare. The sound was so loud that Tom
covered his ears with his hands. He ran over to the control panel.
“Which one was it?” he shouted.

Levitz pointed up at the switch and Tom flipped
it off. The alarms stopped ringing. Tom shook his head, angrily.
“What does that mean?” asked Levitz.

“It means that my mom and Marie are inside the
other house. Come on, I want to check something out.”

“No thanks,” said Levitz. “I’m not leaving this
house until I absolutely have to.”

Tom turned and ran out the open door. He ran
across the lawn and down to the back of the big house. He slowed to
a jog as he began to feel winded. He began to walk when his heart
ordered it. And then he spotted the long extension ladder. One look
up at the open window was all Tom needed to know. He imagined his
mother up on that ladder, leaping into the open window, and his
heart was filled with pride. “My mom did that,” he said to himself.
“And so did my aunt, Marie. They’re some tough old birds.”

Tom jogged back to the garage. He was thinking
about what they might need and was putting a list together in his
head. Shari kept a couple of canvas sacks under the workbench and
Tom squatted down to look for them. The sacks were gone. “Shit,” he
grumbled. He found an old duffel bag with a broken zipper and he
grabbed it by the nylon handles. “This will have to do,” he
said.

He then began to fill the duffel bag. He tossed
in a pair of hammers and some beefy screwdrivers. He added a chisel
and can of bug spray and an old roll of yellowing toilet paper. He
found a short length of rope and some duct tape and tossed them
into the bag. “Think, think, think,” he muttered to himself.

Sam appeared in the doorway. “Hey, I been
lookin’ for ya. What do ya want, Pringles or Cheetos?”

“What?”

“You ain’t got any regular chips and some people
don’t like Pringles. I was just askin’ to be nice.”

“And I appreciate that. Why don’t we bring
both?”

“Yeah, why didn’t I think of that? I hope that
Senator Levitz doesn’t get too hungry. All you had that was kosher
was half a jar of pickles.”

“That’s his problem.”

“That’s just what I was thinkin’.”

“Help me out here. I’m trying to think of what
tools we might need. You would probably know a lot better than I
would… when it comes to that sort of thing.”

“And just what is that supposed to mean?”

“Um… never mind. What do we have to drink? I
could sure use a beer.”

“Alice says no alcohol. I happen to agree with
her. We don’t want to be drunk at the end of the world. I don’t
think that God would be too happy about that.”

Tom nodded. “Yeah, I suppose you’re right. How
long before you’re ready to roll?”

“I think we should all use the bathroom before
we go. This could be a long trip. What do you think?”

“You sound just like my ma.”

“Don’t you ever say that,” laughed Sam.

Tom shook his head. “Aren’t you even a little
bit afraid? Nothing seems to scare you.”

“Tommy, where I’ve been and the things I seen, I
can’t get scared no more. That thrill is gone.”

“I never thought of it like that. Prison must
have been awful.”

“Prison, who said anything about prison?” Sam
asked, giving Tom a wink. “I’m talkin’ about this crazy family of
ours.”

Tom watched Sam as he walked away. He would
often wonder about what he had said. There seemed to be a lot of
truth in his words. Tom knew that being part of that same crazy
family had prepared him for this day. He wasn’t as cool as Sam, but
he felt that he was getting there. He tossed a piece of wire into
the bag and continued his search.

Chona ran out to the garage with a Zippo lighter
and a handful of candles. “I couldn’t find a flashlight,” she said.
“Your mom and Marie must have taken it.”

“Did you ask Shari?” asked Tom, realizing his
gaffe a second too late.

“Oh yeah,” said Chona, “she said
argh-ugh-argh.”

“Very funny. Sorry, it’s just a lot to take
in.”

“Don’t worry about it. It isn’t every day that
your wife gets possessed by the demon, Nallah.”

“Naa… mah. Naamah, get it right. Didn’t you read
the journals?”

“Oh my God, she’s a nice old lady, but she is a
royal pain in the butt. Was Alice a schoolteacher?”

“As a matter of fact, she was.”

“I thought so. She must have majored in
condescension in college. I think that’s a prerequisite for
teaching school.”

“I’m just glad that she’s staying here with
Shari.”

“Don’t you mean Naamah?”

“Nope, I mean Shari. We’re going to find that
ray gun, Chona.”

“I know we are. Just hang onto that thought.
We’ll find it.”

“What about the Chosen One, how does he fit into
all of this?”

“I don’t know… I never got that far in the
journals.”

“Don’t worry, I understand. You probably haven’t
picked up a book since high school.”

Chona fell against the workbench and she began
to laugh. “Who says things like that? That woman was born without a
filter.”

“My mom is like that. She never thinks before
she starts talking.”

They laughed and then Chona walked back into the
house. Tom felt a lot better about their chances after that. He
dropped a few more things into the bag and thought they were as
ready as they would ever be. He left the duffel bag on the floor of
the garage and he walked back to the patio door. He paused before
going inside. There were several boats out on the lake and the sun
was just hitting the tops of the trees. It had been a long day, but
there was no time to stop for a nap. He wished he was out on the
lake, cruising along without a care in the world. He wondered if he
would ever feel that way again.

Tom found Senator Levitz sitting alone in the
dining room, reading a journal. The house was silent. After a quick
glance to the living room, Tom walked in and out of the kitchen.
“Where are Sam and Chona?” he asked.

“Alice wanted to talk with them, privately.”

Tom thought about that. “I don’t know if I like
that,” he said.

“How do you think I felt?”

Tom sat down and scratched a mosquito bite on
his ear. “Who do you think is trying to kill you?” he asked, trying
to make conversation.

Levitz shrugged. “Who isn’t trying to kill me?
That might be a better question. I don’t know who to trust. Anyone
of us could be chipped.”

“Yeah, but none of us have denounced our
religion. I think we’re safe.”

“Shari never converted to Islam, did she?”

Tom shook his head. “No she didn’t, but if she
had, that would be the least of her problems. Why do you suppose
they did that to people? What purpose would it serve?”

Levitz sat back in his chair and folded his
hands. “I’ve been giving that a lot of thought. My guess is that
it’s all about control. Think about it; right off the bat you
control half of the population. You can take women right out of the
equation. The powerbrokers want a one world government. To make it
happen, they need everyone to get everyone in the same boat. What
better way to do that than by using religion?”

“Why do they want a one world government?”

“Tom, you need to understand something. The
United States is broke. Do you have any idea how much of our GDP
goes to entitlement programs? This country is running on smoke and
mirrors. When we fall, there will be a domino effect. The people
with all the money can’t allow this to happen. That’s why they’ve
upped their ante. Once they take control, they can cull the herd.
That’s what this is about. This planet can’t support more than a
billion people, at least not for long. We’re way over that number
and have been for a long time.”

“That’s just sick. Who are they to decide who
should live or die?”