The Mind's Eye (18 page)
Authors: K.C. Finn
Tags: #young adult, #historical, #wwii, #historical romance, #ww2, #ya, #europe, #telepathic, #clean teen publishing, #kc finn
“
Oh dear,” Mam said quietly, “I hope you’re not getting sick,
not with your birthday the day after tomorrow.”
about my birthday any more, not if I couldn’t hear Henri wish me
many happy returns.
***
My sixteenth
birthday began with the news that conflict had broken out in North
Africa. The wicked war that had engulfed the whole of Europe was
expanding to other continents now; I had a horrid feeling that no
place on Earth would be left untouched before it was through. It
had already gotten to me, that was for sure. I tried in vain the
whole morning of the day before to reach Henri again, but every
time I sank into the horrific blackness where his mind used to be
it only cut away another part of my heart, so that in the end I
became terrified to try again, since every visit only cemented my
grief at losing him.
Mam still
thought I was sick so she was being very tolerant about me crying
all the time, tactfully ignoring it in that special way of hers.
Idrys tried to take me out to practice my walking but I refused to
go, even after he tried to persuade me that Henri was probably just
unconscious. He didn’t know that for sure, he couldn’t possibly
know that; I thought it was cruel to give me that kind of hope. In
the end he gave up trying and just held my hand quietly for a while
as Mam started to prattle on about the arrangements for my
celebration.
“
Now we’ll set up the big tables in the field between yur and
the barn, you’ll do that Da,” she said to Idrys, who just nodded,
“And Blod can lay the table up for nine of us.”
“
Nine?” I said in a broken voice. If I was going to be made to
suffer through a birthday garden party, I at least wanted to know
the guest list.
“
You, me, Bampi, Leighton, Blod, Ness, the two farm boys,” Mam
began, hesitating a moment, “and Doctor Bickerstaff.”
“
Doctor Bickerstaff?” I spat with rage. There could only have
been one way to make my life worse right now and Mam had gone and
done it. “Why on earth is he coming to my birthday
party?”
“
Nawr te,” Mam warned with a patient finger, “I know you don’t
like him but he’s done wonders for you, and I want to say thank you
to him.”
think of anything worse than sitting at a table full of laughing,
joking people when I felt like my whole world had fallen into a
gaping pit. Idrys had a hopefulness that I just couldn’t accept, so
he was no help when all I wanted, no needed, to do was to be alone
and think through the facts. I consoled myself at least that Doctor
Bickerstaff would not be smiling and laughing at my party, in fact
it would probably be just as much of a torture for him to attend as
it was for me to have him there. He’d be sharing my misery, whether
he knew it or not, and he’d probably spend the whole afternoon
terrified that I’d let something slip about his secret to Mam. It
was comforting to fix on his misery for a bit instead of my own,
however selfish it made me feel, but then I tried my best to
involve myself in setting up for the party in the hope that if I
got really busy I might just be able to push my grief right out of
my head for the rest of the day.
***
When the time
came to sit at the head of the birthday table I had failed
miserably in my attempt to not think about Henri. I plastered half
a smile to my face as Idrys’s two farm boys came to sit down, their
mouths hanging open as they stared at the beautiful food Mam had
prepared in my honour. I tried to appreciate it all but it was so
hard to unearth any spark of joy within me, so instead I just took
a sandwich and ate quietly as the table gradually filled up with
the rest of our little family. The farm boys’ mouths dropped once
again at the arrival of Blod, apparently even more delicious than
the party food.
I was
surprised at how much she’d gone to town to dress up, especially
considering it was for my party. She looked stunning in a little
yellow dress that I knew she had made from an old pair of curtains
a few weeks ago, all long legs and flowing blonde tresses as she
came and sat on my left hand side at the table. She gave me a smile
that felt as forced as the one on my own face, which I didn’t
really mind. I felt a lot less obligated to be happy and chatty
with her sat beside me than anyone else; I could get on with my
snacks in peace, willing the clock to run out so I could get back
to my room and let my real feelings out again.
Bickerstaff
was so late arriving that I’d actually convinced myself he wasn’t
coming. It was funny to see him out of his usual doctor-wear; he
was dressed in a smart suit, too clean for a party in a field, with
a crisp bottle green shirt and a stunning white tie. As he
approached the table and shook hands with Idrys I heard Blod
gulping down water beside me like a starved camel. Her eyes were
fixed on him for quite some time before she realised I was watching
her. The young doctor settled himself as far away from us as
possible at the other end of the table and accepted a small beer as
he enquired with one of the farm boys after his father’s
health.
“
Well, now we’re all yur,” Mam began, rubbing her hands
together excitedly, “How about some cake?”
Ness cheered simultaneously; I envied their blissful ignorance to
the horrible world around them. As Mam took some matches and
started to light the candles of my cake, she smiled so warmly at me
that for a moment I felt like things might get better again after
all.
“
Aw, sweet sixteen eh?” she said proudly.
“
And never been kissed,” Blod added. It didn’t sound unkind,
but I knew how she meant it by the glitter in her shiny
eyes.
“
Unlike you eh Blod?” said one of the farm boys, setting them
both off into sniggers.
choked on his beer, slapping his chest hard to sort himself out. He
caught my eye down the long table with a guilty look until Mam put
the cake down in front of me, blocking his stare.
“
Right, all together now,” Mam said, holding up her fingers
like a conductor, “And we’re doing it the Welsh way remember. One,
two, three:”
“
Penblwydd hapus I chi, Penblwydd hapus I chi, Penblwydd hapus
I Kit, Penblwydd hapus I chi.”
had learnt it the Welsh way and it did make me break out into the
first genuine smile of the afternoon, especially since Ness climbed
up and stood on the table to belt out the last line at the top of
her little lungs. Bickerstaff was mouthing the words, though I
couldn’t hear his voice, watching the little girl carefully in case
he needed to leap up and catch her if she fell. I blew out my
candles without making a wish. The partygoers broke into applause
and hip-hip-hoorays afterwards, but when the clapping died out I
caught myself thinking about Henri once again.
I looked away
from the happy scene, feeling like my throat was going to close up,
only to notice a figure I hadn’t seen for a long time coming
towards us through the old farm buildings. Officer Lewis, the local
policeman, was ambling carefully over the cobbles and waving to get
our attention. I tapped Blod’s arm and made her turn to see Lewis
in the hope that her usual loudmouth style wouldn’t let me down.
And it didn’t.
“
All right there officer?” she bellowed, rising from the table
to return his gesture, “What’s going on mun?”
“
Idrys!” he shouted in his thick-as-gravy accent, “Yoo hoo! Mr
Pengelly!”
eventually heard him and rose from the party table, his wide
strides taking him to the officer before he was in earshot. They
had a very animated conversation which all of the people at the
table were watching, until Mam decided we were all being terribly
rude and told us to get on with eating our cake. I did as I was
told but my eyes kept flicking over to where the two men stood.
Idrys caught my gaze a few times; he kept turning his head back in
my direction as Lewis was talking to him. Eventually he nodded and
the two men started off towards the front of the house.
“
Where you goin’ Da?” Mam called.
“
Be right back,” Idrys answered with a wave.
fell into an awkward silence, an atmosphere so dead that I could
hear every individual at the table chewing on their cake and
swigging their drinks.
“
So Doctor,” said Mam, desperate to break the quiet, “Have you
heard about Kit’s walking? Da said he’s phoned you a few times.
She’s coming on well, isn’t she?”
been phoning Bickerstaff about me? I felt a little betrayed and
vowed to have that out with him when he was done with Lewis.
“
Apparently so,” the doctor replied like he didn’t believe a
word of it, “She’s due for a formal review next week,
so-”
“
You shouldn’t talk about her like she’s not even here,” Blod
butted in bitterly, “It’s just bloody rude, that is.”
“
Bloody!” Ness shouted gleefully, making Leighton and the farm
boys giggle.
“
What’s rude,” Mam said irately, “Is you butting into other
people’s conversations, young lady.”
at that, because Blod might have actually just done the only nice
thing she’d ever done for me, and now she was being punished for
it.
“
I’m not a child, you know,” she bit back at her mother. I
wanted to stand up for her, but I didn’t know what to
say.
“
All the more reason not to behave like one then,” Mam
answered sternly. There was a look in her eyes that told us all the
conversation was over.
Bickerstaff drained his drink and cleared his throat to cut
the tension. “As I was saying, I’ll be able to make a proper
assessment on
your
progress with the crutches on Monday, Kit, if that’s
agreeable for
you
?”
talking to me, not Mam. Blod had won the argument after all. I
nodded politely to him.
“
That’s fine. Thank you doctor,” I replied.
exchange, Idrys had returned but Lewis hadn’t. Instead of going
back to his seat at the table the old farmer came to my side and
picked up my crutches, putting them across my lap. He took the
handles of my wheelchair and began to pull me away from my
place.
“
Here what you doing?” Mam asked, half a smile on her
lips.
“
It’s a secret birthday present,” he said, his deep throaty
voice filled with glee, “So keep your noses out, all of
you.”
“
I never got a secret present!” Blod moaned.
“
And you never will with that attitude,” her Bampi replied,
turning my chair so I couldn’t see any of them anymore. “I’ll bring
her back in a minute, you lot stay put.”
far enough from the table to be out of earshot I demanded to know
what was going on, but Idrys just chuckled and kept quiet. It
wasn’t until he had wheeled me back into the black and white hall
of Ty Gwyn that he spoke again. He rounded my chair and crouched
down, putting a hand on my knee with a wide, old smile.
“
Did you make a wish on that cake?” he asked.
“
No,” I said, my brows tightening in confusion.
“
Well you should’ve,” Idrys beamed, “’Cause it’s come
true.”
outside the door to the small sitting room but pointed to it, like
whatever he had planned was waiting right inside. I could hear
Officer Lewis in there talking his head off about something
ridiculous, like there was someone else with him to hear it all. I
got up onto my crutches and approached the door slowly, knocking it
with a kick of my foot. Lewis came to open it with his familiar
grin.
“
Wow Kit, you’re looking well!” he exclaimed. “On your feet
and everything!”
“
Well I’m just-”
everything that I was about to say as the door swung fully open.
Sitting by the fireplace in Idrys’s usual chair was a boy with
messy hair, both brown and black. He looked like he was wearing
someone else’s clothes; they were a little too tight on his tall,
long-limbed frame, the trousers rising an inch too high above his
shoes and socks. He had high cheekbones and ears that stuck out a
little, he was rubbing one of them with a smooth hand as he turned
at the sound of my name.
“
Henri!”
“
Oh, so you
do
know each other!” Officer Lewis said, oblivious to what was
going on between us. “This young man claims to be related to you,
Miss Cavendish. Is he right?”
fiercely, unable to say anything else. He was all kinds of right.
Henri rose out of the chair to his full height; he had a good few
inches on me even with the crutches holding me up. He smiled with
straight teeth and chapped lips, rubbing his stubbly, chiselled jaw
like he was as dumbstruck as me. All I could fix on were his eyes
the colour of chocolate, those eyes I’d been looking through for
the last ten weeks. And now they were finally looking at me.
“
They’re very distant cousins,” Idrys explained from the door,
“Best leave them to a reunion Lewis, they haven’t seen each other
for… well for ages.”
managed to say goodbye to Lewis as he doffed his helmet and left.
Idrys gave me a knowing look as he too exited, shutting the sitting
room door behind him. Then it was just us. Me and Henri and the
fading teatime sun outside the window. My arms began to shake under
my weight against the crutches and Henri took a step forward,
reaching out for me.