Authors: Samantha Towle
I don
’
t feel safe. I suddenly feel exposed and vulnerable.
Is this how it
’
s always going to feel? The thought haunts me a little.
“
Come on,” Jake says, taking me by the hand. “We
’
ve got a lot more of this place to see.”
I let him lead me along, but I
’
m not interested in the paintings anymore. I just feel tense and have visions of getting mobbed by hoards of screaming girls and the paparazzi, and I can
’
t let go of the feeling.
After another fifteen minutes and a little further into the Louvre, I
’
m starting to notice the volume of people near us increasing.
Dave and Ben obviously notice too, as they have moved in closer to us.
Where we had space before, now we have very little.
I can feel Jake getting tense.
I don
’
t think it
’
s because the attention gathering is bothering him, I think he
’
s frustrated because he knows it
’
s bothering me, and he just wanted us to have today together.
Our first date together, we are now sharing with not only Dave and Ben, but about fifty other people.
A member of the security staff from the Louvre comes over and speaks quietly to Dave.
The security guy stands back, staying with us, and that only causes to make me feel even more edgy than I already do.
Dave makes a quick call, then comes over and speaks into Jake
’
s ear.
Jake moves back away from me to listen to what Dave has to say.
I
’
m trying to focus on the painting before me, but I can
’
t. I don
’
t even know what this one is called. I
’
ve barely taken it in.
I
’
m trying to ignore the eyes around me, but my whole body feels like it
’
s on fire, burning under their scrutiny.
I don
’
t think I
’
m cut out for this.
I hear Jake sigh loudly, then see him nod his head to Dave.
He comes over to me, standing in front of me, he takes my hands and says in a quiet voice, “Baby, the paps are here, outside … they
’
ve somehow found out which car is ours in the parking garage, and … there
’
s a load of them waiting out there for us.”
“
How many?”
“
Enough. And the loitering has obviously brought some attention, and well … now the crowd has grown because people know it
’
s me in here.” He sounds really uncomfortable and embarrassed saying this to me.
“
Oh,” I say.
“
The staff here are trying to clear the parking lot, but Dave has called Stuart and he
’
s on his way to come collect us now in the other car.”
“
Okay.”
“
I
’
m so sorry about this, Tru.” He puts his hand on my face, but I can
’
t even enjoy the feel of his skin on mine, because I
’
m so conscious of the fact that people are staring.
I feel like I
’
m in a zoo and I'm truly on the wrong side of the fence.
“
It
’
s okay,” I say trying to keep my voice even. “It
’
s not your fault. This is just how things are. I understand. Come on let
’
s go.”
I take hold of Jake
’
s hand, and we start to walk through the Louvre following Dave. Ben is behind us, the museum
’
s staff with us too.
People are following us, and stopping to stare as we pass by.
Honestly, it makes me want to break out into a sprint.
All these beautiful things here in the Louvre and all people seem to want to do is stare at Jake.
I get he
’
s beautiful. I want to stare at him all day long too, but it
’
s just plain rude to stare so blatantly, and to follow him … us … when we are clearly out together for the day, without any recrimination whatsoever.
I hold on a little tighter to Jake
’
s hand. He squeezes it, giving me a small, uneasy small.
He
’
s feeling bad that we
’
re having to leave, and I know he
’
s worried as to how I feel about it, especially after what we talked about in the car just before we arrived.
How do I feel?
Stressed, a bit panicky, annoyed that we can
’
t even go on a simple day out together without attracting the crazy.
Is this how it
’
s always going to be?
I don
’
t know if I
’
m cut out for this. It
’
s scary as to the level of attention Jake receives.
We reach the main door and Dave pushes it open, then I
’
m hit with some camera flashes. There are paparazzi out here.
I thought they were in the parking lot? How the hell did they know we
’
d be coming out this way?
“
So you two are together then? Are you finally settling down Jake? Is Trudy the one?”
The voices are coming from left, right and centre.
Jesus Christ, this is insane.
I keep my head down. Jake
’
s arm is around me now, tight, holding me to him. Dave is on Jake
’
s right, arm on him guiding us over to Stuart
’
s waiting car. Ben is at my side, staying close to me.
“
Trudy! Look this way gorgeous, let us see your face!”
I need to get out of here. I don
’
t think I
’
ve ever felt as uneasy in all my life as I do right now.
I tilt my head further down, practically tucking my chin into my chest.
The next thing I know, we
’
re at the car. Dave has the door open and Jake is guiding me in. I shuffle along sitting behind the passenger seat, and then Jake quickly climbs in behind me.
Dave shuts the door, pushing some paps out of the way in the process. Ben climbs in the passenger seat and then Stuart
’
s driving us away, pretty quickly.
My heart is bumping around my chest.
I turn in my seat looking out the back window, worrying the paparazzi might be following.
I can
’
t see any suspicious looking cars, but then there
’
s plenty around. And I
’
m thankful in this moment that the windows are so heavily tinted in this car.
Jake takes hold of my hand, pulling my attention to him, and it
’
s only then I realise my hand is shaking.
“
Hey, are you okay?” His voice is soft and soothing. He takes hold of my chin, forcing my eyes to his.
“
I
’
m fine.” My mouth
’
s dry. I moisten my lips with my tongue. “That was just … um … a little crazy.” I take a deep breath. “Is it always like that when you go out?”
“
Not always, no,” he shakes his head. “That was a little more hectic than normal, but I
’
m guessing it
’
s because you
’
re with me, and the press will be after a picture of us together.”
“
And the ones on Twitter weren
’
t enough?”
“
Apparently not.”
“
I don
’
t get it though, Jake. You
’
ve been out with women before, that
’
s not exactly a rarity.”
That sounded a little shittier than I intended.
He gives me a look.
“
No, Tru. I
’
ve fallen out of clubs with women before. I
’
ve never taken anyone out on date.”
“
How did they even know we were on a date?” My voice is shrill again.
“
Well, baby.” He tucks my hair behind my ear, and I
’
m relieved to his touch. “Anyone who took one look at us together could have easily worked that out
–
figured out that I
’
m crazy about you.”
“
But we only started seeing each other properly yesterday!”
Okay, so I
’
m freaking out a little
–
a lot.
“
It doesn
’
t take them long, Tru. You
’
re in this business, you know how it works.”
“
I might be a journo, but I am nothing like them!” I say with indignation.
“
That
’
s not what I meant, and you know it.” He gives me a look. “I
’
m just saying, you work at a magazine, you see how things are with celebrities. My life is not private in a lot of ways, no matter how much I try to keep it as such. And this is their job
–
the paps. They make their living off the
shit going on in my life
, and the lives of other celebs. It
’
s just how things are. Not all the time, but a lot of it, and if something happens in my life
–
like me being out on a date … the possibility of me having a girlfriend, well then the media becomes interested … interested in you.”
“
But I
’
m no one special.”
“
You are to me.” His voice is intense. “You
’
re everything to me,” he adds in a lower tone. “And I
’
m sorry this hasn
’
t been a first date, like a first date should be.” He cups my cheek with his hand. “I will make it up to you, I promise.”
Then looking at Jake here, before me, him staring back at me in earnest, filled with love for me, I feel suddenly overwhelmed by my feelings for him, and at the depth of those feelings. And momentarily forgetting that Stuart and Ben are in the front of the car, only a few feet away, I lean forward and kiss him, hard.
Parting my lips under his, I let his tongue move into my mouth, and then I feel it pass between us. The energy, the desire, and I start to feel that stirring in my body that only he can create.
I want him, right here and now.
I know he feels it too as he groans a little sound in my mouth. Jake grabs a firm hold of my hair, kissing me even harder.
It takes a long moment, but I do eventually become very aware of the fact that Stuart and Ben are in the front of the car, especially when Jake
’
s hand goes to my leg, and starts to move higher.
Knowing for sure they don
’
t want a Jake and Tru, porn show, I pull back from him.
Jake looks at me disappointed. I flick my eyes in the direction of the front of the car. I
’
m really glad the radio is on fairly loud, which will have drowned out the sound of our kissing. But even so, my cheeks have flamed with embarrassment at my loss of control over Jake.
He smiles and leans close again, running his nose up the sensitive skin on my neck, he reaches my ear and whispers, “I can
’
t wait to get you back to the hotel … I am going to undress you, slowly … and I
’
m going to kiss you,
everywhere
.”
I can feel his words, down there, and that heat rises again in my belly. I love how he makes me feel.
“
Te quiero,” I whisper back to him.
“
Jesus Christ, Tru,” he groans quietly in my ear, his breath hot on my skin. “You know what that does to me. If you keep talking like that I don
’
t give a shit who is in this car with us, I
’
ll take you right here and now, on the back seat.”
His words do crazy things to me and I
’
m feeling turned on and suddenly reckless.
Maybe it
’
s because I
’
m still pumped up with adrenaline after what just happened at the Louvre, or because of how much I do love him, but I suddenly have the urge to turn him on, to challenge him.
“
Joder, Jake … that
’
s what I want to do with you, now,” I whisper.
He knows exactly what I
’
m saying to him. That is one Spanish word he does know.