The McKinnon (42 page)

His wife and his children would double back to the north and east with David while the others continued to Seabridge to the west. With them all leaving from Featherstone, any spies Brentwood may have would leave to let him know. With any luck they should all be able to carry out the tasks they needed to do in under a month.

“A month? How will I breathe without you?” She let out a small cry of agony. Enfolded in Nic’s arms, she breathed in his scent, memorizing it, holding it.

“Have I told you how lucky I am?” Nic held Morgan by the upper arms, looking into the depths of her beautiful green eyes. “When I look at you I wonder how I lived before you came into my life.”

For Morgan her need for him no longer terrified her. She loved her children, but she needed Nic as she needed the air she breathed.

“I love you,” he whispered in her ear.

“I know. Now, show me.”

As darkness was falling Morgan rested, knowing Nic was dozing. However, Morgan was not thinking dreamy thoughts or floating in the bliss of the afterglow.

“You never answered my question,” she stated.

“Mum, which one?” Nic asked almost asleep.

“What do you plan to do with my Uncle?”

“Kill him. You know, I have no choice.”

Thursday came with a speed Morgan had never imagined possible, and she was unprepared for the trauma of the separation. She understood it was necessary. She was becoming more anxious with each passing hour as they drew closer to the village of Stockyard.

The children mirroring her apprehension were far from cooperative, demanding all her attention and climbing over her to get to Nic who was outside the coach on Hermes. Hanna was having nothing to do with anyone who tried to soother her.

Morgan at her wits end, handed her up to her husband with an exasperated gesture and did not care if he was not in the mood to deal with his daughter.

“Morgan, I can't take her. I’m on a horse and need to be ready to defend you if necessary. Take her back.”

“Forget it! Let the men at arms defend us if necessary. That is what you pay them to do!" Morgan snapped back.

"Take her, Morgan." Nic handed Hanna back to Morgan and she screamed all the more.

"You wanted to ship us off, so you have to deal with the consequences. Just take her, please. She wants nothing to do with me.”

Nic took Hanna back. The image was one to behold and did not go unnoticed by the men. Seeing one of the King’s most feared knights tenderly holding the tiny baby was a sight none had ever thought to see from him. She was high on his armored shoulder riding as if it was the most natural place for her to be. Connor was watching as the little girl turned backwards to face him on Nic’s massive shoulder. 

For Nic, Cullen, and Connor the children were, without exception, the most important thing right at that moment in time. It was their responsibility to see to it the ugliness of the world never touched them. These beautiful, innocent babies deserved a future free of threat, free of pain, and free of the
Brentwoods
of the world. Looking into the face of that tiny child, Connor knew this was what life was all about. This child was why he fought for his King. However, this was not a King’s errand. His mission was personal.

Connor pulled up alongside Nic. “Do you want me to hold her for a while, Nic?”

Nic shook his head. Hanna was a burden he gladly would hold. “No, it will be too soon that we’ll be parted, and I don’t know when I will see her again.”

“She has a way of worming her way into your heart. Even now as young as Hanna is, she has her own personality.”

“All my children do. William is easygoing. Amanda is shy to the extreme, and this little hellion gives new meaning to fearless. Of all the children, I fear she will be the one to give me gray hair. She already does and she is only four months old.” Nic was feigning horror at the thought.

“But would you have it any other way?” Connor asked, already knowing the answer.

Nic sobered, leaving all jesting aside. “No. I am the same man, yet different. I’m harder because I must defend my family, yet softer because of them.”

“The men have noticed,” Connor agreed. 

These men had never wavered in their devotion to Nic, but now that they recognized he had something worth defending, the men were even more devoted. They knew he had his family to come back to.

“They know you would never lead them into any unnecessary situation that could possibly cause pointless harm to them.”

“I’m leading them into harms way now and for personal reasons. Yet, they still follow.” He observed and was grateful they did follow. He needed them.

“Nic, the men understand what we must do with Brentwood, and that Seabridge needs to be secured for your son. They also follow because they support the cause, not just the leader. Brentwood’s treason alone is enough for them to back you. Neither your command nor mine drives these men forward.”

To those who watched the men, it looked as if the two were talking over nothing any more important than the weather. However, Cullen was watching them closely and could see the conversation wasn't inconsequential. He knew the conversation was undoubtedly revolving around Morgan and the children.

Nic was a changed man now that he had a wife and children. Cullen could not fault him for it, but he was still heartbroken, nonetheless. It was growing more and more difficult to stay. Each day watching the woman who he loved be with another man was agonizing. It did not matter the man was Nic or understanding that she belonged with his brother.

Cullen began to edge his way through the line toward Nic and Connor.

“You trust David?” Nic posed the question to Connor.

“I would not place the lives and safety of your family to him, otherwise.”

“And what about Reagan? What are your feelings for her?” Nic was fishing.

“What are you asking me, Nic?” Connor knew what Nic was asking. He just did not have an answer.

Nic turned to look at Connor. He wanted to ask him if he was falling in love with her, but thought better of it. “Do you trust her?” Nic asked instead. This question was just as important.

“Yes and no. There is something about her that I cannot put my finger on. She is shielding herself, and I would bet my stables, she is hiding something huge. She is a good woman. I do not dispute that, Nic. It’s just…. I don't know...sometimes things she says just seem strange to me.”

Nic did not push Connor further.

Connor was at a loss. He had discovered he was at war with himself and his feelings where Reagan was concerned. She loved his people and took good care of them. As a rule, she asked nothing for herself. She was a physically beautiful woman with an equally kind heart.

What was also a fact was Connor knew she would leave. He did not know when, but he knew she would eventually, and maybe sooner than later. He sensed restlessness in her that would push her on. Moreover, he was not sure how he was feeling about that. He had no right to keep her with them. She was his to protect, but not his to command.

“Connor, are you with me here?” Nic was waving a hand in front of Connor’s face. Nic could tell he was miles away. “You care for her,” Nic said with certainty.

It was a revelation, but not surprising. Not wanting to put his friend on the spot, Nic moved on before Connor felt he had to answer.

“Do you fear for her safety, Connor? She could go with the children and Morgan. We could have her meet us in London after Seabridge is secured.”

“The man in me says, no to her going to York. I do not want her to be that close to David. He cares for her, and I know she was fond of his company. Nevertheless, the protector in me is screaming to send her with Morgan."

"Then let's send her."

"I don't think she would go even if we both begged her. She feels she needs to be close in case we need to have a qualified healer.”

“So, she feels there could be bloodshed,” Nic replied thoughtfully, supposing she could be correct. It was not a foregone they would easily take Seabridge.

Interrupted in their conversation neither man was taken off guard. Both knew Cullen wanted to talk.

“Nic, Morgan is asking about Hanna. I have been commanded, if gently, but ordered nonetheless, to take her back to her Mamma.”

All three sighed then grinned. Each knew they had babies ruling their lives and were taking orders from a woman. They did not mind.

“I need to go back and speak to Morgan for a few moments. We're getting close to the rendezvous point. Cullen is everything ready?” Nic asked, his heart heavy.

“Yes, the men have their orders and the distraction is ready to set in motion. If Brentwood has spies in place, it should be enough for us to make the switch unnoticed.”

“Very good. God, I hate this.” Nic looked at the beautiful Hanna then brought her close and gave her a kiss.

“We know, Brother, but it is necessary.” Cullen had empathy for his older brother. He felt it was a final good-bye. “Everyone knows this is necessary. Go say your good-byes. I have already said mine.”

Cullen watched as Nic turned Hermes back to the covered carriage that held the most precious possessions for both men.

Stopping the coach, Nic entered the carriage after handing Hanna up to the nurse. He took the seat next to Reagan and faced his wife.

Reagan knew time was growing short. Morgan and Nic had managed very little time alone because of the preparations to leave and now the travel. She would give them a moment. “I will check on the men and see if there is anything I can do to help.”

To give Nic and Morgan privacy, Reagan and the nurse exited the coach, taking the babies with them after Nic kissed each on the cheek.

They sat alone together, and the silence hung heavy between them.

Finally Morgan spoke. “Nic, I hate this. I just can't get the feeling out of my heart you need me with you. Please, let me go, please. I can show you the way.”

She knew the answer Nic was going to give her. It was an old argument by this point, and one she knew she was not going to win, but she had to try one more time.

“Morgan, Love, we have been through this before. The children need you with them as their mother. As my wife I need to know you are safe.”

Nic waited for her to say something. Morgan just sat in silence. Nic continued pointing out that being at Seabridge would not be good for her psychologically, and having her there would be a major distraction for him. He really did not expect trouble with her uncle who was still in London. However, he just did not know, and would not risk that the information they had was inaccurate.

“With you and the children in York, it will free me to concentrate on the plan.”

Morgan seized on the opening Nic had given her.

“If Lester is still in London then I don’t see why we should have to be separated.”

She could wait outside the walls until after they secured the inside. If Brentwood were there then Nic could have his men take them to a safer distance.

Nic sighed. “You think I like this any more than you do? I love you and I would have you with me if I felt it was safe, but it isn't safe, Morgan. I do not know what we will walk into. Think about what you are asking me to do, Love. You are asking me to place my children and my heart in harms' way. Please, please, don’t ask me to do this. I’m not sure I would be able to say nay to you.”

Morgan looked at her husband. She saw the anguish and his resolve. As his woman, she wanted to ask. As his wife and mother of his children, she would not.

“As you wish, Husband. I shall not ask.” Morgan looked down at her hands. She was in anguish. He could see it.

He leaned over and placed his hands over hers. “Just go with David, please, and let me take care of this once and for all.”

Morgan sat looking at Nic. She loved his sense of honor and duty. She loved his loyalty to his King and men, and she loved him for who he was.

“Very well, I will not make it any more difficult on us than necessary.”

Nic pulled her into his lap and looked deeply into the green depths of his woman’s eyes. Cupping her face, he slowly brought her lips to his. Tenderly, he kissed her, all his feelings were expressed in their kiss.

Outside the coach, the activity was increasing. Nic gathered Morgan close for one last hug and then released her.

“Well, my heart, the time has come.”

David had arrived.

Morgan felt sure Nic would beat her at the first opportunity. He would never understand that she still felt this was what she had to do. Through the long night, no one had entered the coach. Reagan was still sleeping as the carriage moved westward.

Nic had felt it best not to stop to decrease their chances if not totally prevent the discovery of the switch.

With her children safely tucked into the carriage, they were now heading toward York. Morgan simply had not gone with them.

Nic needed her, and that feeling was so strong it overpowered her instincts as a mother.

The decoy taking her place was on her way to York with her babies, along with all the house servants necessary to help with three young children. The guilt and pain were consuming her. She kept asking herself what kind of mother leaves her children in the care of strangers?

Well, that was not entirely true. Their wet nurse and her lady’s maids were with them. Like that was supposed to make her feel better.

Morgan had not slept a wink, and the closer she got to Seabridge the greater her anxiety.

As the sun began to rise, Reagan woke feeling stiff and cramped from the tight quarters and inactivity. 

"Morgan? Oh, Jesus! What in God’s name are you doing here?”

“Shhhh. Lower your voice.” Morgan spoke in whisper. “I don’t want Nic discovering me just yet.”

“You cannot be here. Nic is going to kill us both. There is no way he is going to believe I had nothing to do with this.”

Morgan reached across to Reagan and placed a pleading hand on Reagan’s leg. “Listen to me, please. I have to be here. You know me, Reagan. I would never leave my babies unless I felt driven...I have to be here. Nic needs me.”