The Marriage Merger (25 page)

“Good. Now, as for residence, I propose we get a big place immediately. I’ll rent out my apartment for now. I’d prefer Milan to be close to the office, if that’s okay, and we’ll split the cost equally. We’ll need plenty of space so we can lead our separate lives without bothering the other. I’ll put my realtor on the hunt immediately. Agreed?”

Another slight nod.

“We’ll need a prenup. Would you like to use my lawyer or yours?”

“Doesn’t matter.”

A family took the place of the couple and crowded in front of the bench. Two small boys ran around, laughing in delight as they chased pigeons, while the parents shook their heads and tried to rein them in. Julietta watched the man grin broadly, point up to the Duomo, and pull his mate in close. She leaned in with a naturalness that spoke of years together.

Julietta continued. “We’ll need to set the terms, of course. Mama never needs to know our intention to end it after a certain allotment of time. If it’s acceptable to you, I’d like to use two years as our frame. I’m afraid one year won’t satisfy my mother’s wishes, but two is a fair enough deal to say we both tried. Unless you disagree?”

He didn’t look at her. Just stared at the young family as if they were the key to unlock the answers he needed. “Two years is fine.”

“Good. I refuse to let this thing throw off our time schedule and delay opening. you have my word I’ll hire help and get this transition done as smoothly as possible.”

He lifted his head as if awakening from a fairy-tale sleep. “What about us?”

She blinked. “Us?”

“yeah, us. What’s the rules for that? Same bedroom?

Separate? Do we share work during the day and distance ourselves at home? Are we companions who share meals and conversation? Have you planned that out yet?”

Her back went ramrod straight. His gaze probed hers, as if he were looking for some type of emotion she refused to show him. What did he want from her? She snapped out her words with deliberate precision. “Why don’t we take care of all the necessary details before we subject ourselves to a heart-to-heart? once we marry, we’ll sit down and go over what each of us is comfortable with. I’m sure we can agree to a mutually beneficial compromise.”

He laughed with no humor. “Spoken like a woman in complete control of the situation. Must be nice.”

Her defenses split, ripped, and bled. “What do you want from me? An apology?” Her voice broke, but she pushed on. “I’m sorry. Sorry a debt owed to my mother will stick you with a charity case for two years. Sorry I wasn’t enough for my family, for me, for anyone. especially you.” Her eyes burned with unshed tears. “I’m doing the best I can to make this palatable for both of us.”

The shell of the civil, distant man beside her shattered.

He reached out, grabbed her upper arms and pulled her against his chest. “you offer me an apology?” he tore out, golden eyes spitting sparks of fiery rage as he shook her slightly. “Goddamn you to hell. you think I’m upset because I’m stuck with you? How dare you call yourself a charity case to the man who kissed you and stripped you and fucked you for so many hours we both fell into exhaus-tion? you deserve a man to be whole—a man who can offer you a decent life and not tear you apart piece by piece. I’ll never be able to give you what you need. Don’t you understand I’m frozen inside? There’s nothing left to give you except physical pleasure.”

His sensual lips twisted in a sneer, and his fingers bit through the thick fabric of her coat. “But I’m not as polite or charitable as you, I guess. I don’t intend to be a mar-tyr and give you a safe little space with his-and-her bedrooms and an occasional smile as we pass in the hallway.”

The angel morphed into devil. Lust and rage and something completely untamable gleamed in the depths of his eyes.

“Not me. I’ll rip down your door when I’ve had enough and take both of us to hell. And I won’t have a shred of regret.”

She parted her lips, entranced by the powerful aura beating from him in waves. His body heat battled the wind and made her burn to let him take her as many times and in as many ways as he fantasized.

His gaze focused on her mouth. Her heart thundered.

She waited for him to lower his head and claim what was already his. Instead, Sawyer eased his grip and pulled back.

A bleak desolation carved the lines of his face. “But I don’t want to hurt you. So I’ll allow you your barriers and your own bedroom and anything else you need from me. I have only one rule. you will never talk about yourself as a charity case or someone unworthy. Not in my presence.”

A stray lock of hair broke loose and lay against his forehead. Without hesitation, she reached out and tucked it behind his ear. Then ran her hand down his cheek. The rasp of his beard tickled her fingers. She caught his scent of musk and spice and lemon on the wind. “okay,” she whispered.

Like a sinner seeking penance, Sawyer bent his head and pressed a kiss to her open palm. Julietta sensed something deeper in his actions and craved to follow the path leading to a thicket of thorns, poison ivy, and endless predators poised to tear flesh. When his gaze finally pierced hers, Julietta knew this man would be the one to either complete her or destroy her.

She trembled in pure terror. He traced the sensitive line of her jaw, her chin, and slowly down her neck. His light touch caused shivers of sensation to prick her skin and tighten her nipples. Julietta ached to take the leap and damn the consequences.

He took the choice away from her and stood up. “I’ll begin immediately on the paperwork. Let me know when the realtor comes up with something appropriate. Wolfe will be over this afternoon. Call if you need anything.”

He left.

She watched him walk across the square and disappear behind the building. Then she sat on the bench for a long time, in the cold, and wondered what she was going to do.

Julietta walked into the foyer. The vaulted ceilings held a graceful elegance that pulsed through every brick in their new home. Situated in Via della Spiga, her realtor discovered the hidden treasure of the luxurious traditional mansion. From the outside, an onlooker imagined nice apartments hiding behind the somewhat crumbling facade.

Inside, a feast for the senses awaited. Boasting three stories, the parquet floor gleamed as Julietta walked over to the circular staircase and did a quick survey. The open concept living room and kitchen gave the impression of massive space, and the rustic beauty of old wood, thick walls, and lush foliage wrapped the home in elegance.

The moment she stepped foot in the house she instinc-tually knew she was home. Funny, letting go of her apartment she loved for so long didn’t cause a pang. After boxing up all her belongings, the pathetic truth slammed into her brain. She had few personal items she loved or needed to bring. The apartment only held stray trinkets but most were work things or fancy gadgets. This house was different. It screamed of character and history. Julietta imagined stamping her own story here and finally making a permanent mark. For the first time in her life, she understood the unique characteristics of a place to live and a place to thrive.

With Sawyer.

The wedding was set. The home was bought. Various in-formation outlets regarding their romance and decision to quickly marry were outsourced and already losing gossip po-tency. The past three weeks blurred in an endless stream of tasks, work, and shoring up her defenses. each time she spoke with Sawyer, he was polite, helpful, and distant. It was almost as if she planned someone else’s future and wedding, for each conversation was exactly what she wanted. Business. No mess of emotional upheaval, but a calm, focused plan of attack.

She hated it.

Footsteps echoed behind her and she pushed the thought aside. Julietta turned and caught his profile. The sunlight poured over him, accenting the clean slash of his scar and bathing his features in golden warmth. With the graceful precision that was part of his core, Sawyer walked through each room and studied the final layout.

She bit her lip. “What do you think? Anything can be changed. We’ll have to commute a bit to work, but this area completely charmed me.”

He stopped in front of the glass doors leading to the terrace. Stone floors led to an extensive garden with a small lagoon pool. Julietta imagined working on her laptop and sipping espresso in the quiet space as the sound of gurgling water soothed her.

“It’s beautiful.”

His husky voice rippled across her ears in a caress.

relief poured through her, and a smile curved her lips. “I’m glad you like it. There’s a whole extra wing I thought Wolfe could make good use of. It’s like his own apartment, but not so separate he can disappear for days without us noticing.”

He flinched as if in pain. “What’s wrong?”

“I didn’t specifically talk about living arrangements with Wolfe.”

She frowned. “He knows we’re getting married. Where else would he go?”

Sawyer shifted his feet. “My old place. I don’t think he wants to live with us. even though he has no idea about our situation, he assumes we’re honeymooners. It will make him uncomfortable.”

“What type of conversation did you have with him?”

“General stuff. That we decided to get married because we’re a good fit. Told him his position in the company was unchanged and we’d continue like we have been. He never asked about where we’d live, so I didn’t bring it up.”

Julietta watched his sudden discomfort and shifted through the possibilities. “you’re afraid to talk with him, aren’t you?”

“What do you mean? We’ve shared space for a while now. We talk every day.”

She shook her head. “No, not really. you talk about work. That’s it. Listen to your own words—you share space.

I think you’re afraid to delve any deeper in case you upset him. As long as you keep it light and uncomplicated, he’ll stay.” Her gut lurched with pain for him and the boy he’d taken under his care. Her voice softened. “Sawyer, he needs to know you want him. I see the way he looks at you. Wolfe would never ask, but he’s looking for your approval. If he thinks he’s in the way, he’ll chew off his own hand to get away. He’ll refuse to be a burden on anyone.”

Sawyer spun around and glared. “of course he’s no burden. you don’t know how it is for kids like him. They’ve been kicked in the teeth and emotionally tortured. I never want him to believe he’s trapped or owes me to stay. If I keep it light, he won’t feel any pressure. I just want him to be safe. Try to protect him.”

Another layer peeled off before her. Julietta stared at the man who was about to become her husband and wondered if she’d ever be safe from him. His sexual appeal was magnetic but something she could fight. His determination to protect Wolfe snuck past every defense. He loved Wolfe, but he didn’t know how to communicate or deal with it.

Julietta realized he didn’t know how to care about another person in a permanent way. His past told him commitments ended in pain. God knows what he’d gone through, but she had to show him a different path. Prove in some way that there was so much more for him if he only opened up.

Sawyer deserved it. Wolfe deserved it.

She fought the need to hold him and stood still. “I’m not going to pretend to have the same kind of background, to experience the type of pain you both went through. But I do know he’s a nineteen-year-old kid who needs something he can cling to. Something solid. He needs you, Sawyer.”

He jerked as if slapped. “I’m doing the best I can,” he growled. “Jesus, why are you pushing him? If he wants his own space, I can’t blame him. He can’t be forced into an uncomfortable situation.”

Sensing she neared a dangerous precipice, Julietta listened to her gut and pushed. Her heels snapped as she closed the distance and stood before him. Chin up, she got in his face and challenged him. “He needs the exact op-posite right now. Giving him space means you don’t give a shit about him. Letting him work things out in his own time translates that you don’t want to be bothered. Are you that much of a coward? Do you only want to do half of the work to help him and then scurry away because it gets too messy?

you got him off the street and gave him a job. But the moment emotion is involved, you freeze up and deny it’s even there. or is that something you just want to accuse me of?”

Stunned recognition filled tiger gold eyes. Something seemed to break inside him, a memory that drove him to lose control and slip into the wild, animalistic persona always shimmering beyond his surface. He gritted his teeth.

“you think a hug and heart-to-heart chat can fix what’s wrong with us? We’re way past that, baby. It’s a fucking miracle he doesn’t jump anymore when someone touches him, let alone share some fun memories. How about the nights spent on the street in freezing temperatures under dirty newspapers and smelling like shit? Fighting over a half-eaten hot dog in the garbage? Watching a kid get the shit beaten out of him and not lifting a finger to help?” The darkness rose up and claimed him. His body shuddered and she knew it wasn’t about Wolfe any longer, but his own dreadful past rearing up. “Whenever I tried to protect someone, I made it worse. I learned to step back and not get involved, because it was safer for everyone.”

“Not now,” she said firmly. Julietta grabbed his hands and squeezed. He stared at her with eyes half focused.

“That was before, because you needed to survive. Now you need to live, Sawyer, and so does Wolfe. you need to give him more of yourself even though you’re scared. Wolfe has a chance because you got to him in time. Do you under-stand?”

“What if I make it worse? I don’t want him to . . . leave.”

Her heart shattered, and she stepped into his arms.

Laying her head on his chest, she buried herself deep in his warmth and bled for the little boy who never had anyone to help him. He responded to the embrace and hugged her back hard and clung. “He doesn’t want to leave you,” she whispered. “He just needs to know you’ll fight for him. That you care enough and that he’s not a charity project you pick up and play with.”

Silence fell between them. Julietta stayed in his arms for a long time and let her words sink in. When his heart stopped hammering, and his grip relaxed, she eased out of the embrace. His gaze probed her face, searching for something she was terrified of. “Why do you care so much?” he asked.