The Marked (12 page)

“Great,” Esther said, pulling a lock of hair free from the strap of her backpack and letting it fall over one shoulder. “The last thing I need is for everyone to know about it.”

Yashir squinted. “What shouldn’t I know about?”

“It’s a girl thing,” Hennie said to Yashir. “You wouldn’t understand.”

Yashir shook his head. “You all make my head spin. See you at lunch, Hennie?” He tugged gently on her braid and touched the tip of her nose.

She nodded, a goofy grin lingering on her face as she watched him walk down the hall.

I grabbed Esther’s hand. “You need to shake yourself out of this. You’re blowing it all out of proportion. We’re talking about Trevor, remember? The guy who never smiles?”

“I’ve seen him smile,” Esther said, a little of the color returning to her face.

“Maybe once or twice. But not on a regular basis.”

“He’s wicked smart, and he loves books,” she rejoined. “We worked on a project together in our AP English class and got along great. He just looks scary. Deep down, he’s a sweet guy.”

I stifled a groan. “He isn’t the right guy for you, Esther.”

“Neither is anyone else, apparently.”

“You’re just having a dry spell,” I said. “There’s nothing to be worried about. Right, Hennie?”

It took Hennie a moment to realize we were waiting for a response, because she was still staring at Yashir. Or rather, at the spot where Yashir had been. “Huh?”

“We’re talking about Esther’s dry spell,” I repeated. “I’m saying she’s got nothing to worry about. There are tons of guys at Delcroix. She just hasn’t met the right one yet.”

Hennie fell into step beside us as we started toward the stairwell. The halls were a tangle of people moving between classes, and we had to duck around the edges to keep moving. The high ceilings worked like an echo chamber, and you’d think you were in the middle of some huge auditorium, instead of a hallway in a school of fewer than two hundred students. “Esther, you make people laugh and feel good about themselves,” said Hennie. “It’s inevitable that some guy is going to fall for you.”

“I notice you didn’t say anything about how I look,” she said, smoothing her hair behind her ears. “Next thing I know you’re going to tell me I have a good personality. Like
that’s
suppose to make me feel better.”

“Don’t be ridiculous. You’re like a movie star, with those enormous eyes and that gorgeous hair. Besides, aren’t you the one who’s always telling us how friends grow into boyfriends? You’ve got tons of guy friends. I’m sure someday one of them will want something more.”

“None of this helps,” Esther said. “You’re just convincing me that I’m right. Everyone sees me as just a friend.”

“All I’m saying is that you should let things be for a little while,” Hennie continued. “It will all work out. By spring break, everyone will be falling all over themselves to get their chance at you.”

Esther didn’t respond. She gazed down the hall, lost in thought. Then she stopped suddenly. “I’ve got it.”

“What?” I asked, tugging Hennie closer to me to keep her from whacking one of the seniors with her backpack.

“I need a makeover. New hair, makeup, clothes…I’ll be reborn as the girl people want to date instead of the girl they want for their best friend.”

I started to raise my hand in protest, but she didn’t notice.

“You said it yourself, Hennie,” she said. “They think I’m a better friend than girlfriend. So I’ll have to change their mind about that. The only question is what I want to be. Biker chick? Vamp? Cheerleader? What do you think?”

“I say you just be y—” I began.

She put her hands over her ears. “Don’t say it!”

“Yourself,” I said.

“That’s the problem,” she said, deflated. “I don’t know who that is anymore
.
”

Hennie and I exchanged a worried glance.

She pulled us toward her and said in a low voice, “It’s not natural, the way I can become someone else.” She held out a lock of her hair, which had started to curl as she spoke. “See?

It’s spooky. Sometimes I think there
is
no real me, and acting is all I can do.”

“That’s ridiculous,” Hennie said, though she eyed the curl nervously, as if Esther held a snake between her palms.

“It’s the truth. I act like everyone’s best friend, and suddenly that’s all I am. Maybe it’s time I started using that to my advantage. Who says I shouldn’t act like a bombshell?” The curl loosened and fell over her eyes in a sultry wave. “I can do sexy, you know?”

Hennie put her hand on Esther’s forearm. “It’s just your hair, Esther. Not you. You’re upset about Trevor and it’s making everything seem crazy. You’ll feel better in a week or so. I know it.”

“Easy for you to say,” she said, digging her hands deep in her pockets as she continued down the hall. Hennie and I hurried to catch up. “You’ve got a super boyfriend, and so does Dancia. I’ve got nothing but an uncanny ability to imitate people. Everyone in my acting class says it’s an amazing gift and I’m such a genius, but then they turn around and avoid me. I feel like a freak.”

Her words were painfully familiar. How many times over the years had I thought that same thing? I put my hand on her shoulder and forced her to come to a stop. “You’re not a freak. Your acting
is
a gift. It’s part of who you are.”

“That’s right,” Hennie chimed in. “You understand other people well enough to act like them. Lots of people would love to have that ability.”

Esther’s chin trembled. “They can have it. I’m tired of sticking out. My teacher keeps pushing me to do more, to get deeper into my characters, and it just makes it worse. My focus classes are more depressing every day. It seems like the minute I relax, they’re putting some new ‘challenge’ in front of me, and I’m changing into someone new. I wish they’d just leave me alone and let me be normal for once.”

Luckily, Hennie responded to that one, because I had to struggle to keep my mouth shut. The truth seared me—the truth about Esther’s gift and the way the teachers were molding and developing it, despite all the pain they were causing. And now
I
was letting her feel that pain, just as Cam had let me feel my pain the semester before.

But I couldn’t tell her the truth. I couldn’t tell her anything.

“Esther, you know nobody around here is normal,” Hennie said. “People think I’m weird because I learn languages so quickly. The other day, I heard An speaking in Mandarin and I actually understood her. And I’ve only been taking lessons for a few months! My teachers keep talking to me in languages I don’t know and asking me to try to figure out what they’re saying. Half the time I can actually do it. If you’re a freak, then I’m one, too.”

I should have been expecting it, but Hennie’s admission hit me just as hard as Esther’s. They were pushing her, too. Was she Level Three already? Could Cam see her talent marks when he walked down the hall?

“At least you’ve got a useful gift,” Esther said. “All I can do is pretend to be someone I’m not.”

Hennie’s voice softened. “Well, we know who you are. You’re Esther Racowitz. You’re funny and charming, and everyone loves you because you’re so easy to talk to. We’re your best friends, and we believe in you, even if you don’t.”

“Whatever.” Esther pushed her curls back behind her ears. “I’ve got to get to English. I’ll see you guys later.” She walked away, oblivious of the interested stares she attracted as she made her way down the hall.

“Was she like this all weekend?” I asked Hennie.

“Not this bad.” Hennie watched until Esther disappeared from view, and then whispered, “It is a little weird, don’t you think? How she changes when she’s acting?”

I didn’t know how to respond without lying or making light of Esther’s very real problem. I decided I’d have to distract Hennie from the subject—never an easy prospect. To my relief, I noticed Barrett and a group of seniors approaching from the other direction. With a silent apology to Barrett for using him, I made a mental tug on his foot and watched as he kicked in response like a girl in a chorus line. It was a little trick I’d played on him before, so I figured he’d know it was me. The seniors all burst out laughing, and Barrett whirled around, grimacing when he spotted me across the hall.

“D.! Good to see you,” he called out. “I hope you brought your shorts for our class today. I heard things could get
hot
this afternoon.”

A burst of heat passed under the sole of my foot. I smiled and pretended I hadn’t noticed. Tara high-fived me as she passed.

Hennie cocked her head, watching the group go by. “What was that all about? I heard they’re predicting cold weather all week.”

I shrugged. “I have no idea. Barrett hardly makes sense half the time. I can’t believe they actually let him teach a class.”

We continued walking. “I almost forgot,” Hennie said. “How was the party?”

“Eventful.” Relieved that I’d finally managed to get her off the topic of Esther, I briefly described the fight with the “gang from Seattle,” carefully retelling the story I’d told Grandma. Of course, I left out any mention of my altercation with Anna or of the note I’d found when I got home.

Hennie shuddered. “You must have been terrified.”

“I guess. Mostly, I felt stupid letting Cam and the others do all the fighting while I stood around and did nothing.”

Hennie wrinkled her perfect button nose. “So you should have thrown yourself in front of someone’s fist even though you knew you’d just end up getting hurt? That’s crazy.”

“Maybe.” My lips twisted into a smile. “My grandma wouldn’t think I was crazy, though. She wants me to be able to defend myself. She said I need more practice.”

“Practice fighting?” Hennie shook her head in wonder. “I can’t imagine how much trouble I’d be in if I got in a fight. My parents would never forgive me.”

“You know, my grandpa died when Grandma was young, and then my mom and dad died, too. She probably just wants me to be able to take care of myself, in case something happens to her.”

I’d never thought much about it before, but Grandma had always encouraged me to do things on my own, even things a kid shouldn’t do. Like driving the car when I was thirteen, or learning to shop and cook when I was in elementary school.

“So, what are you going to do about it? Weren’t you in a self-defense class last semester?”

“Yeah. It didn’t stick.” I had a sudden brainstorm. “I should ask Cam to tutor me!”

“Oh, good idea. I’m sure you’ll get a lot of practicing done with him.” Hennie rolled her eyes.

I hit her playfully as we started down the stairs. “Seriously, it
would
be nice to be a little tougher.”

“So you can be like Anna?” Hennie inclined her head toward Anna, who was at the bottom of the stairwell, speaking to Trevor and Molly. Her ponytail swung back and forth as she talked, her hands waving.

“How’d you guess?”

Just the sight of Anna was enough to wipe the smile off my face. She must have felt my presence, because she stopped talking and tipped her head in my direction. Trevor and Molly leaned in as she whispered something, and all three gazed up at us. Then they turned their backs deliberately and moved down the hall.

Hennie gasped. “Wow, that was harsh.” She pulled me to one side, dodging traffic and stumbling on the edge of her shoe. “Did something happen with Anna this weekend?”

I laughed nervously, not meeting her eyes. “Apart from the usual ‘she hates me with a fiery passion’ stuff?”

“Dancia, they just treated you like you’ve got the plague! Something happened at the party. Something you’re not telling me.”

I bit my lip, “It was nothing new. Anna kept throwing herself at Cam, but that’s just par for the course.”

“Throwing herself at him how?” Hennie asked. “Short skirt and cleavage? Karaoke?”

“She tried to make it seem like he still liked her and he and I had nothing in common. They played music together, and she sent me on errands for soda. It wasn’t a big deal.”

“What did Cam do?”

“He’s oblivious. Anna is one of his best friends, and they’re both way into music. I’m sure it seemed normal for him to spend the night next to the stereo.”

“So, he deserted you?” she said, narrowing her gaze.

“No! Well, sort of. A little. But not completely. And he made up for it at the end of the night.”

“You’re sure? How’d he make up for it?”

I reveled in the memory of that long, lovely kiss. “He made out with me right in front of Anna.”

Hennie glowed with delight. “Well that does make up for it. She must have
hated
that.” The bell rang, and we hurried down the rest of the stairs. We paused when we reached the bottom, as Hennie’s class was to the right and mine to the left. “I’m still not sure that explains why Trevor and Molly were so rude.”

I shrugged off her concern. “Don’t worry about them. The important thing is that Cam and I are doing great. He was so sweet after the party and supercool with Grandma, even though she gave him a hard time.”

Hennie wasn’t convinced, but I seemed to have partly mollified her. “If things get worse with Anna, you’ve got to tell me about it. You know that, right?”

I nodded. “Of course.”

I hurried to my English class, the sour taste of guilt in my mouth, but stopped when I saw Trevor heading my way. I debated whether I should say something or not, and quickly decided I couldn’t let it go. I marched over to him, my mind filled with the vision of Esther’s eye’s pooling with tears.

“I need to talk to you,” I said.

He sighed. “We can hardly talk about this here at school. I must say, for your sake, I hope Anna is wrong. If you’re in contact with him—”

I held up my hand. Later, I would worry about what he and Anna thought about me. Right now, my anger was more important. “Not about that. About Esther.”

“Esther?” His eyes widened. “What about her?”

“Stay away from her. That’s what.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he said.

He turned to walk past me, but I planted myself in front of him. “I’m talking about your performance in the library this weekend. What was that all about? One minute you’re talking to her and the next you blow her off?”