The Making of Americans, Being a History of a Family's Progress (136 page)

     Some are certain that sometime some could be different ones in being in being living, some are certain that sometime every one will be a different one in being in being living, some are hoping that sometime some one will be a different one, some are certain that they are believing that something can be different in living sometime for some, some are certain that they are believing that something can be different in each one, some are believing this thing about men some are believing this thing about women, some are believing this thing about men and women, some are thinking they are believing this thing, some are not believing that they are believing this thing, some are always believing this thing, some are not always believing this thing, I am not believing this thing, another one is not believing this thing, another one is not believing this thing, another one is believing this thing, another one is believing this thing, another one is believing this thing, another one is believing this thing, another one is not believing this thing, another one is not believing this thing, another one is not believing this thing, another one is believing this thing, another one is believing this thing.
     This is to be a history of David Hersland and of his coming in his living to be thinking again and again and very often of coming to be a dead one. This is to be a history of him and of his coming to be thinking of coming to be a dead one and of his thinking about coming to be a dead one and about being a dead one and about his coming to be a dead one.
     This then is to be now a history of David Hersland and of talking and of listening and of thinking about being dead ones in men and women men being in being living. This then is to be now a history of David Hersland and of his talking and of his hearing talking and of his listening and of other ones doing listening and of very much talking and of thinking and feeling and of everything that ever was or is or will be being in some men and some women doing living. This then is to be now commencing being a history of David Hersland being in living and being talking and being listening and being talking and listening and being talking and being talking and being talking and being listening and being listening. This is then to be now a history of him.
     Every one has experiencing in being one being living. I am saddening with not feeling each one being experiencing as each one is having that thing. I am saddening with this thing. There are so many being in living and there are so many that I am knowing by seeing and hearing being in living and each one of these is experiencing in being living and I cannot be feeling what way each one is experiencing, I who am suffering and suffering because of this thing. I am in desolation and my eyes are large with needing weeping and I have a flush from feverish feeling and I am not knowing what way each one is experiencing in being living and about some I am knowing in a general way and I could be knowing in a more complete way if I could be living more with that one and I never will live more with every one, I certainly cannot ever live with each one in their being one being living, in my being one being living. I tell you I cannot bear it this thing that I cannot be realising experiencing in each one being living, I say it again and again I cannot let myself be really resting in believing this thing, it is in me now as when I am realising being a dead one, a one being dying and I can do this thing and I do this thing and I am filled then with complete desolation and I am doing this thing again and again and I am now again and again certain that I will not ever be realising experiencing in each one of very many men and very many women, I can realise something of experiencing in some of them, in them as kinds of them but I am needing to have it in me as a complete thing of each one ever living and I know I will not, and I am one knowing being a dead one and not being a living one, I who am not believing that I will be realising each one's experiencing, I do not want to realise each thing they are experiencing, I do not care anything about such a thing, all that I am needing to be one being living is to be realising completely how each one is experiencing, with what feeling, thinking, believing, creating and I I am very certain that I will not ever be completely with each one doing such a thing, I will be doing something in such a thing with kinds in men and women, with some of some kinds of them but not with each one not with every one, no certainly not with every one. No certainly not with every one, completely, certainly not, and more and more knowing some one experiencing and completely knowing that one makes it certain that if I could live with each one I could realise the experiencing in each one and I cannot ever live with each one, I certainly never will be living a good deal with each one ever having been living.
     David in beginning living was hearing some, was feeling some about somethings being things that one should be doing so as to be one going on being living. Such a thing as not changing a thing when one was beginning putting it on one way and such a thing as counting some things and not other things and such a thing as arranging clothing so that not in any way could he be putting one thing on the way he had been putting that thing on the other morning and stepping on something and not stepping on something and thinking something and then certainly thinking then another thing, and doing something and certainly then be doing another thing, and hoping something and saying then another thing, and walking around something and walking around that same thing and never walking again around that same thing, as I was saying when he was one beginning being living he was hearing then when he was one beginning living some things, he was feeling then some things about needing somethings being happening so that he could become one going on being living and he was then as I was saying hearing some things, he was then feeling some things that needed being so that he could be one going on being in being living.
     He was one then as I was saying commencing being in living and he was then a little an older one and this is to be now a complete history of him and of listening and of talking and of some doing listening and doing talking.
     One and then another and then another one and then another one said something and then some other one said something and some one can listen to every one who says something. There are not so many kinds in men and women, I have just been seeing pictures of about fifteen kinds of them, kinds of men and women, there are more than that of course of kinds in men and women as I feel being being in them but there are not so very many kinds in men and women. Each one talks a good deal in being in living even those who do not do very much talking. Every one who ever was living talks a good deal that is certain. Every one ever living talks a good deal, some are talking and others are listening and those then talking are thinking that those then listening are ones not ever doing very much talking and some of them do very much talking and some of them do not do so very much talking. Some one talks a good deal in being living, every one listens a good deal in being living, this is to be now a description of talking and listening, this is to be now a description of being and living in David Hersland, of David Hersland.
     There are not then so many kinds in men and women. Each one of every kind in men and women is as I am saying doing very much talking doing very much listening in being living, some of each kind in men and women do more talking in being living than others of that kind of them, some of each kind in men and women do more listening than others of that kind of them, some of each kind in men and women do more talking and more listening than others of that kind of them, that kind in men and women. I am saying that there are not so very many kinds in men and women as I am feeling being in men and women, but as I was saying each one of a kind in men and women has being in that one being differently in him from being in any other one of that kind of them. I am now beginning describing being in David Hersland, I will be telling very much now about talking and listening, I will be describing in many various ways quite a number of men and quite a number of women.
     Each one is mostly all his living all her living, a young one, an older one, one in middle living, an old one to themselves, to any one, to some one. That is to say not any one is all his living all her living to any one, that is to say not any one hardly is feeling another one being a young one and then an older one and then an old one. It is a very strange thing this thing and an interesting thing that almost not any one is to any one is to themselves inside them one having been in all parts of being living. That is to say it is very striking one man is writing about some one and that one about whom that one is writing is to that one say an old man. That one writing tells about that man being a young one, tells about that man being a middle aged one and always it is a description of the old man who was once a young man, a child, a middle aged man, it is not a description of a young man a middle aged man or a child. It is the same thing if some one is a child to some one feeling that one, telling about that one, that one may be described as an older one, a middle aged one an old one but it is always then a description of a child having become a middle aged one, an older one, an old one. So then this is certain that each one is to some one for all of the living ever in that one a child, to some one, a baby, to some one, an older one, to some one, a middle aged one, to some one, an old one, to some one. I am not saying that not any one can be feeling more than one stage of being in themselves, in any other one, but I am really almost saying this thing. It is an interesting thing that each one in a way is feeling the world being existing in this kind of way too in them. Those feeling the world an old thing are only feeling this thing, those feeling the world a new thing are only feeling this thing, those feeling the world to be having had a past living are only feeling it as a thing having description and so on and so on and it is extraordinary how not any one can be convincing in telling about one being a young man if they are feeling the living being in that one being that of an old one. Mostly every one is in some place in being living to every one knowing that one and that is the complete realisation that each one is having of that one. Always then this comes to be to me more an extraordinary thing that not any one can really be telling the whole history, can really be realising the whole going on of being in them, that not any one can be telling the whole history of any one, that not any one can be realising the whole time of being going on being of being in any one. I do certainly think this to be an extraordinary thing. Mostly then as I am saying not any one is feeling any other one really having been in living a young one an older one a middle aged one, an old one. Really then mostly every one all the living of some one is feeling that one to have been a young one or an older one, or a middle aged one or an old one.
     Listening does not help one with this thing because as I am saying each one is feeling themselves as having been an old one, a middle aged one, a younger one, a young one all their living and when they an old one talk about themselves as a young one, it is a description of an old one having been a young one, not a realising of being a young one, and so on and so on and so each one is in themselves in feeling one having been in all living a young one, or an older one, or a middle aged one, or an old one.
     I did use to find this very perplexing this difficulty each one has of realising whole being having been going on being in any one, in themselves inside them. It is a very useful thing that always in living there are some being young ones some being older ones, some being middle aged ones, some being older ones so that one can always be certain that not any one has been living without all the being in them having been going on being as being a young one an older one a middle aged one, an old one. As I was saying listening is not helping any one very much with this thing, knowing ones self inside one is not helping one very much with this thing, talking about being having been in one is not helping one very much with this thing. Knowing family living is helping some with this thing, having little ways in moments inside one in feeling, in doing something perhaps is helping something with this thing, mostly not anything is really helping one doing this thing, realising the whole being having been, going on, going to be going on in any one. So then I am not thinking about doing this thing. I am thinking about telling about being being in men and in women, I am thinking about telling about talking and listening that some men and some women are doing, that mostly every one is or was or will be doing. I am thinking then about telling about knowing being being in men and in women. I am thinking then about listening and talking being, going to be being, having been being in some men in some women.
     David Hersland was interested in dying, in loving, in talking, in listening, in ways of eating, in ways of being going on being in living. He came to be a dead one when he was coming to the beginning of the middle of his middle living; this will be now a complete description of the being being in him and the living he was having in being one being living.
     He was one interested in ways of eating, in loving, in ways of being going on being living, in dying, in listening, in talking. He was one living in needing to be certain always and that always every day in his living that he was understanding that living was a thing that he wanted then to be doing, that he was then realising as being, as beginning or as going to be beginning or as going to be ending.
     He was one certainly interested all his living in listening, in talking, in loving, in dying, in going on going on living, in ways of going on being living. He was one certainly all his living interested in talking, he was one certainly all his living interested in listening. He was one certainly all his living very much interested in talking, he was one certainly all his living very much interested in listening, this will then be soon a description of talking, of ways of being one interested very much in talking, of ways of listening, of being one very much interested in listening. I can certainly say that David Hersland was certainly very much interested in listening, in ways of being one being listening, I can certainly say that David Hersland was one very much interested in talking, in kinds of talking that kinds in men and women are doing, in kinds of talking men and women doing any talking are doing. He was one then certainly interested in talking, certainly interested in listening. He was one in his living certainly doing listening, he was one in his living certainly doing talking. This then will be then soon now some description of talking being done by men and women, of listening being done by men and women, and then there will be some description of David Hersland and certainly he was in his living doing some talking, doing some listening, he certainly was all his living interested in talking interested in listening, interested in his being one talking, interested in his being one listening, interested in ways of talking in men and in women, interested in ways of listening in men and in women, interested in his own way of talking, interested in his own way of listening. He was one then certainly all his living very much interested in men and women being ones doing talking, being ones doing listening. As I was saying he was one interested in living interested in dying, in loving, in talking, in listening, in ways of going on being in living. He was one certainly interested in ways of going on being living, of going on being in living he was one certainly interested in being one going on being living, in going on being in being living, he certainly was interested in every one's being one going on being living. He was then certainly one interested in any one's going on being living, he was certainly interested in ways of going on being living, ways of going on being in being living. He was one as I was saying interested in talking, in listening, in dying, in going on being living, in going on being in being living, in loving. He was one certainly interested in dying, in listening, in talking, in going on being in being living, in loving. He was one then certainly interested in being one wanting to be certain each moment in being living that he was wanting to be one then being living. As I was saying he was very much an interested one in realising ways of being one going on being living, in listening, in talking, in ways of eating, in loving, some in going to be beginning, some in ending, in dying, some in going to be ending. He was then in living mostly an interested one. He was in living then almost mostly an interested one. He was then in living one being an interested one in ways of being one going on being living, in his being one going on being living, in dying, in loving in ways of being one eating to be going on being living, in his way of eating something, in his way of eating for being one going on being in living, he was as I was saying in being living one interested in ways of being one being talking, in ways of being one being listening. He was as I was saying one being one pretty nearly completely interested in being one being living, in any one's being one being living. As I was saying he was one pretty nearly completely interested in living being existing. He was one as I am saying pretty nearly completely interested in this thing. He was one as I am saying all his living pretty nearly completely interested in this thing. He was then as I am saying pretty nearly all his living interested in his being one being living. As I am saying he was all his living pretty nearly completely interested in his being one being going on being living. He was one then as I am saying one almost completely interested in being one being living. He was then as I am saying mostly all his living one being almost completely interested in his being one being living. He was all his living interested in loving, in dying, in ways of going on being living, in talking, in listening, in ways of eating. He was one almost completely interested in being one being living. He was one all his living interested in ways of eating, ways of being one going on being in living, in listening, in talking, in dying, in loving. He was one mostly all his living almost completely interested in his being one going on being living.