The Magus, A Revised Version (62 page)

I had come prepared for every eventuality but this most banal and frequent of all. I touched my mouth against her hair: a faint melony scent in it.

‘
What a shame.
’

‘
I
so wanted you to come.
’

‘
Let
’
s walk towards the far end.
’

I took her hand and we began to stroll past the chapel and through the trees to the west. They had had it out with the old man almost as soon as they had gone aboard the previous Sunday afternoon. Apparently he had played the innocent a little, but then June had let fly at him about the Negro and the spying in the chapel. They had had enough, either he told them what he was doing or … Julie gave a little breath of still incredulous amusement, looked at me.

‘
Do you know what he said? As coolly as if we
’
d told him a tap needed mending?
’
I shook my head.
‘
“
Good. Exactly as I hoped and expected.
”
Then before we could even get our breath back, he informed us that all that had happened so far was merely a rehearsal.
Honestly, you should have seen his smile. It was so smug. Just as if we
were two students who
’
d passed some preliminary examination.
’

‘
A rehearsal for what?
’

‘
Firstly, all
is
to be explained to us. To you as well, this coming weekend. From now on, we shall all work together under his direction. Someone else is coming here soon-he said
“
people
”
, so it must be more than one or two. And they are to have our roles up to now. The being spun round and round. But this time, by us.
’

‘
What people?
’

‘
He wouldn
’
t say. Nor what this all that
’
s to be explained is. He said he wanted you to be there as well.
’

‘
You
’
re to vamp someone else?
’

‘
That was the first thing I said. That I
’
d had enough of making eyes at strange men. Especially now.
’

‘
You told him about us?
’

She pressed my hand.
‘
Yes.
’
She let out a little breath.
‘
Actually
he said he
’
d feared the
worst as soon as he set eyes on you.
’

‘
What worst?
’

‘
That the cheese on his trap might fall for the mouse.
’

‘
And he accepts

‘
He swore blind.
’

‘
Did you believe him?
’

She hesitated.
‘
As much as one can ever believe him. I
’
ve even been given a carrot to dangle in front of your nose.
’

‘
Apart from the one whose hand I
’
m holding.
’

She touched the side of her head against my shoulder.
‘
He wouldn
’
t expect you to do it for nothing … you
’
d be paid. Whatever it is, it wouldn
’
t start before your term ended. And he
’
d want us three to live, sleep anyway, at the house in the village. Initially as if we
’
d never met Maurice.
’

‘
Are you tempted?
’

She left a pause.
‘
There
’
s one other tiny snag. He
’
d like you and me to pretend we
’
re man and wife before whoever it is who
’
s coming.
’

‘
I couldn
’
t possibly pretend. I don
’
t have your acting ability.
’

‘
Be serious.
’

‘
I am. More than you think.
’

Again her head turned against my shoulder.
‘
Tell me what you feel.
’

‘
It all depends on next weekend. When we know what
’
s really at stake.
’

‘
That
’
s what we think.
’

‘
He must have given some clue.
’

‘
He did say we can definitely think of it as psychiatric. Then in his usual helpful way added that it was really about something there
’
s no word for. He said … a science yet to be discovered and named. He was terribly curious to know why I finally came to trust you.
’

‘
What did you tell him?
’

‘
That certain feelings between people can
’
t be faked.
’

‘
How
’
s he been otherwise?
’

‘
Actually rather sweet. Much more as he was in the beginning. Full of compliments about how brave, intelligent, all the rest, we
’
ve been.
’

‘
Fear the Greeks

‘
I
know. But we
’
ve made it absolutely clear. One more trick from him
–
and that
’
s it.
’

I looked out towards the silent yacht.
‘
Where did you go?
’

‘
Down to Kythera. We came back yesterday.
’

I thought of my own three days: catching up with the eternal backlog of marking, two prep duties, the smell of chalk, of boys … and then of term being ended, the secluded village house, the constant presence of the two girls.

‘
I
got hold of a copy of
Three Hearts.
’

‘
Could you read it?
’

‘
Enough to believe that part of it.
’

She left a little silence.

‘
Someone said something about trusting one
’
s instincts. Only three days ago.
’

‘
It
’
s just that over there … I sit in class and wonder whether this side of the island even exists. If it isn
’
t all a dream.
’

‘
You haven
’
t heard from the man before you?
’

‘
Not a word.
’

Again she left a silence.

‘
Nicholas, I
’
ll do whatever you say.
’
She stopped me, took my other hand, looked me in the eyes.
‘
We
’
ll go straight back now and tell him. Seriously.
’

I hesitated, then smiled.
‘
Can I hold you to that if I don
’
t like the sound of his next chapter?
’

‘
You know you can.
’

A moment, and her arms came round me. Mouth confirmed eyes. Then we strolled on, very close. We came to the far end of the bay. It was tropically airless.

She said,
‘
I
love the nights here. More than the day.
’

‘
Me too.
’

‘
Shall we paddle?
’

We went down over the shingle to the water. She kicked
off
her shoes, I got free of mine. Then we stood in the tepid sea, and she let me kiss her again; her mouth, her throat. I held her lightly, protectively; then murmured in her ear.

‘
Beastly female physiology.
’

She moved a little against me in sympathy.

‘
I know. I
’
m so sorry.
’

‘
I
’
ve kept remembering how you were in the chapel.
’

‘
I felt undone.
’

‘
That
’
s strictly for maidens.
’

‘
It
’
s how you made me feel.
’

‘
Haven
’
t other men?
’

‘
One or two.
’

‘
This one particular other man?
’
She said nothing.
‘
I wish you
’
d tell me about him.
’

‘
There
’
s nothing much to tell.
’

‘
Let
’
s go and sit down.
’

We went back into the trees, a little way up the slope where the spine of the western headland rose. One or two large boulders had fallen in the past, and we installed ourselves where one had lodged. I sat with my back to it, and Julie leant against me. I reached up and undid the bow in the ribbon round her long hair, loosed it.

He had been a young don at Cambridge, a mathematician, nearly ten years older than she: very intelligent, sensitive, well-read,
‘
not at all a monomaniac
’
. They had met in her second year, but it had stayed
‘
demi-platonic
’
until well into her last.

‘
I don
’
t know what it was, perhaps realizing I had only two terms to go, but Andrew started getting very hurt if I went out with anyone else. He hated the university drama set June and I were involved with. He seemed to sort of make up his mind that he ought to be in love with me. He was always very gentle
–
even funny about it, in a way
–
how I
’
d corrupted a born bachelor. I did like being with him, we used to go out in the country a lot, he was very generous, always flowers, books … you know. He wasn
’
t a born bachelor at all in that way. But even then, it was never really a physical thing for me. You know how it is, you like someone in every other way, you feel flattered, even a tiny bit embarrassed to have a tame don as your escort everywhere. You admire them intellectually and …
‘

‘
Acquire a blind spot?
’

‘
He insisted we got informally engaged. This was at the beginning of the summer term. I was working like mad. We hadn
’
t been to bed, and I thought he was being very considerate … the understanding was that we were going to have a holiday in Italy, then get married in the autumn.
’

She was silent.
‘
What happened?
’

‘
It
’
s so embarrassing.
’

I stroked her hair.
‘
Better than keeping it bottled up.
’

She hesitated, then spoke in an even lower voice.

‘
I
’
d always realized there was something, I can
’
t really describe it, not quite natural about him when we … always a little bit of an air of going through the motions. Kissing me because he knew girls expected to be kissed. I never felt any real desire in him. On that side.
’
She smoothed her skirt over her knees.
‘
Quite simply in Italy it turned out that he did have … rather serious problems. He
’
d never told me before, but he
’
d had homosexual experiences at school. Even when he was a student himself at Cambridge before the war.
’
She paused.
‘
I must sound appallingly innocent.
’

‘
No. Just innocent.
’