The Loyal Heart (18 page)

“Why don’t you leave then? Go somewhere else, serve someone else, start fresh? You could do it.”

“Would you come with me?”

His words hung in the air like a half-finished promise. Her heart ached in her chest. Her hands twitched at her sides. She had him. The power he gave her spun her head. And it gave her a devastating idea. “Crispin,” she flushed with the wild move she was about to make, “if you defy Buxton and free my friends I will go wherever you go.”

The air between them crackled and he straightened. His mouth opened but he shut it again as he studied her. “You wouldn’t.”

“I would!”

He was so still that she thought he had turned to stone. Then he spoke. “If you marry me I will move heaven and earth to set your friends free.”

“That’s not the same-”

“The day we are married. The moment the vows are spoken. They will walk free.”

He spoke too fast. His eyes glittered with triumph, with hope. Panic and guilt curled through her. She wouldn’t give in to his domination, even if it had been her idea. She wouldn’t let him call her bluff. “How do I know that you’ll keep your word?”

“Do you think I would lie to you?”

“No.” She glanced away.

He reached for her and took her cold hands in his. “I will do whatever is necessary to make sure that your friends are set free the moment we are married.”

She glanced up into his eyes. He was telling the truth, damn him. “Fine.” Dread slithered down into her stomach with the lie she was about to tell. “Then I will marry you, Crispin.”

He stared hard at her, judging if she really meant what she said. She met his gaze boldly. “Aubrey.” He spoke her name with enough tenderness to make her legs turn to butter. Then he stepped close to kiss her.

She turned her head with a gasp and his lips brushed her cheek. Her eyes squeezed shut and her heart tightened. When she dared to open her eyes Crispin stared at her with hurt and confusion.

“I’m sorry,” she breathed. “I didn’t expect-”

“No, it’s my fault.” He dropped her hands and took a step back. “I should have asked first.”

“I’m sorry.” Her heart and mind ached to undo the mess she’d just made. It didn’t make it any easier to look into his eyes to see the pain she had caused festering. The warmth of his lips on her cheek still burned. “I have to go,” she muttered, pushing past him and marching for the door. She needed air. She needed time to think about how to undo what she’d just done.

“Aubrey,” he called after her.

She ignored him and rushed out into the hallway, picking up her skirts and breaking into a run. Damn Ethan! Where was he when she needed him? If he didn’t come back soon she didn’t know where she would find the strength to resist the bargain she’d just made.

Buxton stood by the window in his tower room stroking one of his mice while trying to catch a breeze in the hot afternoon. Laughter bubbled low in his throat, juxtaposed with a disgusted sneer. Crispin’s stomach roiled and his shoulders were stiff as he waited for the full brunt of Buxton’s wrath to hit him. Buxton went on stroking the tiny mouse, raising it to his face and making chirping noises while the poor thing’s eyes bulged. He leaned against the windowsill, grabbing the mouse by the tail and holding it out the window.

“Does mousey want to fly?” he asked, watching his pet struggle to twist its gray, furry body and climb into his hand. “Does mousy want to leave me, hmm? Does mousy think he can fly without me?”

“My lord.” Crispin cleared his throat.

“Yes, yes, Crispy, you’ll have your turn.” Buxton continued to swing the struggling mouse in the air.

“The nuns are inconsequential to you, my lord.”

“Oh I don’t know about that.” He dipped the mouse up and down, tittering at its frantic squeaks. “Where do you think you’ll escape to, mousey? I’m the one who gives you everything.”

Crispin’s jaw twitched. Aubrey’s marriage bargain was a gamble for both of them. He hadn’t expected Buxton to greet it with open arms but the man’s casually concealed wrath alarmed him. He held his back straight. Aubrey was so close to being his wife that he could taste it.

“My lord, releasing the nuns would counter the inroads Ethan of Windale has made. It-”

“What did you say?” Buxton whipped his eyes up to meet Crispin’s. The mouse squealed in terror as he pinched its tail.

Crispin stared at the mouse, still as stone. “Windale is gaining support amongst the nobles who question your leadership. They have-”

“I want him dead!” Buxton yanked the hand that held the mouse in through the window and pointed at Crispin, ignoring the tiny droplets of blood that scattered as the mouse clawed its tail to save itself. “And I want him to die slowly.”

Crispin paled and swallowed the bile that rose to his throat. “My lord-”

Buxton flushed crimson. Then a soft grin crept across his face. His gaze dropped to the petrified mouse. He cradled it with both hands and soothed it with a whisper. “Mousy is such a pretty boy, yes he is. But mousy must never try to leave me, no. Then mousy would be a bad boy. And bad boys must be punished.” His voice grew jagged and with cold fury he spun and pitched the mouse out the window.

Sweat poured down Crispin’s back, dotted his forehead. Buxton brushed his hands and sighed as though nothing had happened, then turned and ambled to Crispin’s side. He stopped inches in front of him, splayed a hand across Crispin’s chest. “Morley is Windale’s ally. You tell me Windale is making inroads and then you ask me to marry his ally’s sister?” His smile was honey sweet as his hand slid up to clamp on Crispin’s throat. “I don’t trust that
woman
for a second.”

Crispin blocked out everything but the thought of Aubrey as his wife. “Once she is Lady Huntingdon I will be able to control her,” he choked.

“What, by keeping her happy?” Buxton snaked his caressing fingers up across Crispin’s jaw. “By keeping her
satisfied
?”

It took every ounce of his self-control not to shake with loathing or snap Buxton’s neck. “She needs to have something to keep her occupied, my lord, to keep her out of trouble.”

“Are you going to put her to work sewing your clothes? Rubbing your feet?” Buxton’s fingers threaded up into his hair. He could feel the heat of his master’s body pressing closer. His skin crawled. “You should be putting your energy into keeping
me
busy, Huntingdon,” he pressed to his toes to whisper in his ear.

Crispin’s hand flexed to his sword but Buxton intercepted it with his free hand and held it between them. He couldn’t fight, he couldn’t flee.

“You should be keeping me busy counting my treasury, crushing my enemies, Crispy. You’re so unreliable when you’re distracted.” Buxton let go and stepped away as though he had never touched him.

“You have my sincerest apologies, my lord,” his voice cracked.

“As well I should,” Buxton strolled to the mouse hutch. “Windale is a menace. He needs to be dispatched before the Council of Nobles. I don’t want him lousing up my moment of glory.”

“My lord-”

“If Lady Aubrey keeps her mouth shut then she can stay right where she is instead of relocating to the church yard.” Buxton ignored Crispin’s attempt to interrupt as he scooped to catch another pet.

Crispin clenched his jaw and thought of Aubrey. Permission to wed her would have to wait until Buxton’s obsession was satisfied. “Windale will be difficult to catch, my lord,” he growled through closed teeth. “No one knows where he is.”

“Then find out where he is!” The mouse in Buxton’s hand shrieked as his fist tightened around it. “Find him and kill him!”

“Yes, my lord.” Crispin bowed and took a step back, grabbing his chance to leave.

His tension didn’t ebb when he reached the hall. He ignored the guards and bounded down the stairs and through the halls to the armory. There had to be another way.

The message came by way of the servant who brought Aubrey her breakfast.

“Please, my lady,” she curtsied as she set the breakfast tray on the table, “I was told to give you this.” She reached into her pocket and pulled out a small, folded piece of paper.

Aubrey’s heart fluttered as she reached for it. “Thank you.”

As soon as the girl shut the door behind her Aubrey unfolded the scrap of paper and read the words, “I’m back. Meet me at the Den.” Her heart caught in her throat. Finally.

She couldn’t get out of the castle fast enough. Ethan was back. She didn’t know if she wanted to kiss him or throttle him. It didn’t matter as long as she could see him. There was so much that she needed him to undo.

She shot out into the streets of the city, remembering the way to the Fox’s Den like she had been there yesterday. As she turned the last corner she ran head-on into Jack. Her glancing blow spun him around.

“Jack!” Aubrey passed him and skidded to a halt. “Where have you been?”

“I been right here!” He spread his hands in defense.

She didn’t have time to argue the point. It had been days since he had snuck into the castle to plot with her. “Is Ethan there?” She gestured to the inn.

“Yeah,” Jack drawled, “He’s there alright.”

“Thanks Jack.”

She rushed on to the inn, feeling her heart beating in her throat as she passed into the stifling dimness of the common room. She waited for her eyes to adjust. Ethan saw her first and stood from the corner table where he sat with Toby and Tom. Her face split into a brilliant smile. “Ethan, you’re back!” She rushed across the room to him.

His scowl stopped her dead. “I told you to stay away from Huntingdon.”

“Ah. You’ve heard.” She would have Jack Tanner’s hide next time she saw him. “I can explain.”

“What kind of an explanation can you possibly come up with for betrothing yourself to a murdering liar?” He crossed his arms and looked down his nose at her.

“I was forced to!” She had imagined every different way this conversation could go and was ready. “Crispin forced me into it. He said that if I married him he would let Madeline and Sister Bernadette go free.” It was close enough to the truth that it would hold water if tested.

She watched the ice in his eyes as he weighed her words. Then he blew out a derisive breath. “The man has to bribe a woman to marry him.”

“You have to help me to get out of this.” She rushed forward and grabbed his arm. “I want him to set Madeline and Sister Bernadette free, but I don’t want to marry him. We don’t have much time. Sister Bernadette’s injuries aren’t healing well and Madeline is afraid if she doesn’t get back to the convent hospital soon she’ll die.”

He blinked and raised a hand to cradle her jaw. “I’ve had a busy month, Aubrey. I’ve been to a lot of places and talked to a lot of people.”

For some reason his flat statement made her temper flare. She dropped his arm and took a step back. “So I’ve noticed.” A thick tendril of resentment lashed at her heart and she forgot her larger plan. “You left me behind and you couldn’t even be bothered to send me word of where you were?”

“We didn’t know where we were going to be from one day to the next. I could hardly send someone with a letter for you.”

“You could have tried! People send letters all the time.”

“Aubrey, there are people out there who want to oppose Buxton, a lot of people. We talked to Collingswood, Ashton, Dovedale. Matlock is going to help us to organize the entire opposition. We can take him down, Aubrey, I know it.”

Light danced in Ethan’s eyes, but if he thought it would sway her he had another thing coming. “I see what’s important to you, Windale.” She turned to storm off.

He grabbed her arm to stop her. “It’s important to
us
, Aubrey, to all of us. With Buxton gone we can set this shire back on the right path. I can regain Windale. We can stand united for King Richard. The war will be over soon and he will be coming home.”

“Politics,” she seethed. “That’s all you ever think about.”

“No, Aubrey!” He appealed to the beams of the ceiling for help. “I think about what is good for us. I think about us all the time. I think about you all the time.”

Aubrey bristled. His words said one thing, the one thing she wanted to hear, but his every waking action said something else. Why couldn’t he be solid like Crispin.

As soon as the thought touched her she clenched her jaw and squeezed her eyes shut. It was all wrong. “You drive me crazy, Ethan Windale.”

“And you drive me crazy.” He grinned at her and winked. “I missed you.” She fought not to melt with every ounce of strength she had. She lost. He pulled her into his arms and planted a quick kiss on her lips. “Have you had breakfast yet?”

“No,” she growled, remembering herself and stepping back. She cleared her throat and smoothed her skirt.

“Then come and have a bite with me.” He took her hand and lead her over to the table where they had been sitting. She cursed him and herself with every step she took.

An hour later, as Aubrey sat at the table in the Fox’s Den with Ethan and his men she had the uneasy feeling that she blended in. She had always wanted to be part of an adventure, in the thick of things. But as she sat at the table listening to the men tell her about the discoveries on their journey, about the alliances that were set to be made and the men and materials that were at their disposal, it didn’t strike her as fun at all.