The Love Triangle (BWWM Romance) (47 page)

“I’m here, Ciara, it’s okay, just let it out baby, breathe. I’m here for you.” She curled up into his lap and he held her tightly.

Chapter Eleven – Derek

***Three weeks earlier***

He was going crazy, he had just stood there as she walked away. His mind kept him frozen to the spot but his heart was screaming at him to go after her and tell her the truth. The truth he didn’t even fully understand. He watched her enter the building and he slid back into the seat of his car. Tomorrow he would call her and explain, tomorrow he would make it right. He sighed as he made his way home. He should have stopped her, somehow made things better. He sipped from the glass in his hand. He missed her. He had just left her side, and the penthouse he once enjoyed seemed almost hollow. At the cabin, Ciara had filled the walls with sunshine. He didn’t even know he was missing out on it until he had been given a glimpse.

Days went by and despite his every effort, she wouldn’t talk to him. He called and sent texts until he knew she was serious. He would give her the space she wanted but it ripped him apart. He was falling for her, but he knew he couldn’t let it happen. How could he explain that to her, how could he show her it was for her own good he was putting some space between them. The cabin had changed them both and now they were struggling to regain balance. He couldn’t fix it, however, if she refused to talk to him. Even when he tried to catch her at her father’s appointments every Monday, she skillfully found a way to escape. It was too much and he stopped trying. No matter how much it hurt, it was what was best for her.

Mondays, as always, were busy and it went by faster than usual. He was making good progress in his therapy sessions and was actually starting to get some sleep. He felt better than he had in a long time. He went room to room doing his best to help people get well. It wasn’t until Wednesday that he realized that Ciara and her father hadn’t come on Monday. He shuffled through the paperwork and read the notes. He sat down hard. He was gone. His last thoughts were of Ciara as he looked up the information on the funeral. He only had twenty minutes to get there.

He saw her across the room. Her face was stricken and he could feel the pain coming off of her as if it was a burden he carried himself. He wanted to pick her up and hold her. He wanted to take away her pain but he was stuck being the “guy from her past”. He made his way to her, still watching her face. He saw her grip the counter top and it was all the reasoning he needed. He finally got to her and after a few minutes, he managed to get her settled. Now she was in the shower and he was carefully cleaning the kitchen. He wanted to comfort her somehow. She was alone in the world with Tony and he felt like he needed to do something to be there for her but how? He heard the noise coming from the bedroom and was in there in an instant. In her hand was a tie that she gripped as though her life depended on it. He grabbed her before she hit the ground and held her close. Her sobs wracked even through his body. He felt her pain and he spoke to her softly, cradling her in his arms. It was so little he could do but it was something. He rocked with her slightly until the early hours of the morning.

Chapter Twelve - Ciara

He had been there for her. She knew she had to move past where they had once been. Even if he was only a good friend to her, she would at the very least be that in return. He had smiled and hugged her before he left and they had finally found some common ground. There was nothing sexual in anything that had happened between them the night before. She had cried for hours until she was exhausted and he had tucked her into bed and watched over her. He really was a great guy. The next couple of weeks, they managed to talk at least once a day and things were very platonic. Both seemed content to have some kind of relationship and that was safe playing ground.

She glanced down at her phone and sighed. It was the third day that week. Surely not again. She walked outside the diner to answer and with a sigh, she went inside to tell them she needed to leave early again. Antoine was having a rough time at school and it was not like him at all. She knew she would get grief for this since it seemed to be a regular occurrence.

An hour later, she had Antoine at home and was confronting him about the week he was having.

“I just don’t understand, baby, you’ve never acted out, what is going on?”

“I don’t know, Momma, I just don’t want to go to school anymore. Everyone keeps asking about Grandpa.”

She felt her heart lurch in her chest. “I’m sorry, baby, but what would grandpa say about this? About you not going to school like this?”

She saw his face scrunch up and a tear slip down his cheek. “I’m sorry, Momma.”

She held him close and let a few tears slip down her own face as well. Everything was different. To be honest she wasn’t sure where to even start. After the schedule change and the time off, the diner had let her go. Now she had no job on top of everything else. That evening she picked up the newspaper she had purchased earlier. She began the age old task of circling ads and places to go the next day. She would have to find something quick, that was the most important thing. Derek called to say hello and she decided to keep the newest development to herself. There was no use in bringing him down with her latest issues. They chatted for a while, he shared some of his new developments as well. She went to bed that night hoping for new hope and guidance in finding the right path to help her take care of herself and Antoine.

***

The days grew longer and over the next two weeks Ciara had tried every outlet she could to find a new job. Derek was calling her regularly and finally she told him she needed some space.

“Ciara, I’m worried about you.”

“I’m fine, Derek, I just need some time that’s all.”

“At least talk to me, Ciara, I care you know.”

“Goodbye, Derek.”

She felt her heart breaking at her own words but she knew it was time to let him go, let go of the dream they once had in that cabin. Her tension level was on high alert and nothing seemed to be going right anymore. It had only been a couple of weeks, and it was hard on her every day not to call him, to let him comfort her like he was so good at doing.  She searched until she found a job working two days a week at a café but the cost of gas made that job not worth going to. It was on one of those days that she finally caught a break, and when she had to face the truth.

It was a long day already, the sun was beating down on her face as she made her way into the café. It took too long to get there and she had to leave an hour early just in case the car didn’t work. That day was especially bad since Antoine had a project due in school and she had to help him carry it before she left. She took a final look at her watch and rushed inside. Much later, she took out some trash and as she was sweeping the front walk, she heard his voice.

She didn’t want to look up, didn’t want to know who he was with but she couldn’t make herself stop. He was at the corner shop standing with a beautiful woman. She flung back her blonde hair and giggled at something he said. He looked tired but otherwise perfect. He held the elbow of the woman and together they walked away chatting happily. It was almost too much and she had to remind herself she was working. She hurried back inside and took a break. She needed to think and as she sat in her car, she let a few tears slip down her face.

It was just as well really, he was better suited with a woman like that, professional, slim, blonde and beautiful. The two of them had very little in common really. Her father had led them to meeting and now he was gone. She gave herself a few more moments to feel sorry for herself and then she went back to work. Fortunately for her, the café was part of a street show that afternoon and she knew that would keep her busy.

The staff all worked together setting up tables and chairs outside. Her boss even allowed her to go home to pick up Antoine so that he would be in the fun. She was getting extra hours on the clock, and it would be good for him to smile about something. Soon flocks of people came through, tasting samples from the local vendors. She felt some joy in the music that was playing from one of the street vendors. Antoine laughed with some of the other children and Ciara thought about her father and how much he would have loved to be there and enjoy the evening with them. The music changed and she heard the man running the music call for some volunteers to help with a sing along.

“Momma, you should go sing.” She glanced down at Antoine who was tapping her on the leg.

“No, I doubt Mommy could sing any of the songs he plays.” She gave Antoine a sweet smile and when she was done for the night, the two of them made their way over to the vendor.

They listened to the man who was singing. Surprisingly it was a song her mother had once sung to her and subconsciously, Ciara started humming along with him. He noticed and encouraged her to help him out. She felt embarrassed now realizing she had been louder than she had intended. He gave her a smile and asked her again and with a thumbs up from Tony, Ciara helped him wrap up the song. After the crowd clapped, he handed her the microphone and begged her to sing a song on her own. She asked if the man had her favorite song and to her delight he did.

It was the first time in a long time that Ciara
felt alive. Music always had that effect on her and after seeing Derek, she especially needed it. She closed her eyes and sang with all of her heart until the final note resonated across the crowd.  When she opened her eyes, the crown gave her a heartfelt cheer and she
truly felt alive. The response from the even larger crowd was overwhelming and Ciara was humbled by the situation entirely. She was headed to her car with Antoine when a tall dark looking man approached her.

“Excuse me Miss… I am sorry to bother you but I wanted to see if I could have a word.”

She glanced at him and agreed while she was still near the café. “Sure, do I know you?”

“No no.” He held out his hand. “My name is Marcus Greenleaf. I run a business locally and wanted to see if you would be interested in a job?”

She perked up almost immediately and walked Tony to a bench nearby so she could talk. “What kind of job and where, Mr. Greenleaf?”

“I’ll be honest, I work for a …uh…well, a gentleman’s club. Now before you turn around and leave, let me explain. We have a room we use for a social hall, serving drinks and etc. We want to make it a little classier than some of our regular customers and we are trying to hire some entertainment…again, someone like yourself who would be interested in singing a few nights a week.” Though his tone was pleasant enough, she felt something odd about him.

“I’m not sure I know what to say to be honest, Mr. Greenleaf. I’ve never been to a place like that.”

“I assure you this building is completely separate and there is nothing unsavory there. This is a new area, and I think you would look great on a stage.” He flashed her a smile, and let his eyes travel down the length of her frame. He then moved to write something on the back of a card. “I am going to give you this, it has my contact information and my offer.” He handed it to her and she took it. “Think about it and if you are interested then call me soon, let’s say two days or so.”

”I can do that much, Mr. Greenleaf.” She gave him a weak smile and he pumped her hand once more before tipping his hat and leaving her to walk over and grab Antoine’s hand to walk towards the car. She had shoved the card in her pocket, lost in thought for the moment. She didn’t know what to even think, all she could do was focus on getting home and getting Tony settled for the night.

Chapter Thirteen – Derek

Whatever he found in Ciara had changed him for life. Even then, looking over the documents on his desk he couldn’t focus. She had said goodbye, there was such a finality to it that he felt a sense of initial panic when she had hung up. That was, of course, before he had replaced that with anger. It wasn’t about sex, or romance, it was about caring for someone. He tried to forget, tried to move past it but it haunted him. His nightmares had changed and sometimes he would see Ciara in them along with the other things that kept him from sleeping. They had gotten weaker for a while but after her goodbye he’d been struggling since. He was angry, he felt the anger like a hot streak through him and he didn’t care. It gave him focus, and made him stronger somehow.

He gave credit to the woman he saw every week. She was very good at what she did and they were making progress. Ciara was just a part of his life that he needed to work out, so that he could move past it. He leaned back in his chair. She had been so sad, so lost the night of her father’s funeral. Being there for her had given him a sense of meaning where her life was concerned. Then, they had grown to find solace in a unique friendship. Until she had pushed him away. As upset as it made him, he was angry more than anything. What right did she have to push him away? No matter what, he had to move on, no matter how hard it was on him. She was better off without him anyway.