The Love She Craves: Selling Her Soul to Declan (9 page)

“You act like I’m thin to spite you.”

A mirthless chuckle escaped his lips. “You’re not thin. You’re skinny bordering on emaciated. If twelve-year-olds did it for me, I’d be in seventh heaven right now,” he said. “Frankly, that is not where my interests lie, and if you were any skinnier, your body would be a bit off-putting.”

“Gee, thanks,” she said sarcastically trying not to let him under her skin. “Maybe you should pretend you ordered me to restrict my food to show your control so you can look at me without disgust.”

His eyes narrowed at her as he chose his words. “I’m sorry if I hurt your feelings, and perhaps you’re right about one thing; I don’t like it because I can’t control what happened before. But I can and will get you up to a healthy weight, even if it means putting a feeding tube down your nose.”

She gasped. “Y-you wouldn’t really do that, would you?”

“Let’s not find out,” he said lifting her by the waist and setting her on the floor.

“How much do you want me to gain?” Resignation strained her voice.

“You’re what five foot three?”

“Five-four,
” she said and silently cursed herself for correcting him. Being taller only meant he’d want her even heavier.

“Model-thin would be one-twelve. Normal range is one-twenty to one-twenty-eight.”

She stared at him. “How do you know that off the top of your head?”

A smile toyed at his lips. “It’s a formula. It’s one hundred pounds for the first five feet. Models add three pounds for every inch over. Normal range is five to seven pounds per inch.”

“Oh. It’s going to really suck if all my weight goes to my butt and thighs and none goes to the girls.” She looked down at her small chest to emphasize what she meant.

“I’d be okay with that. It gives me more room to spread out the blows. But I
suppose if you really want larger breasts and they don’t get any bigger as your weight comes up, there’s always breast augmentation.”

“No, absolutely not. I may be whoring myself out to you, but I’m not getting fake boobs for the rest of my life.”

When she turned to go, her braid swung in the air and he caught it before it landed. A second later, he was standing in front of her with the braid wrapped around his hand, her head tilted back, immobilized by his grip.

“That is not what our arrangement is.”

She pulled against his painful grip to level her gaze at him defiantly. “Isn’t it? I guess I don’t know the difference.”

When he saw her wince, he realized he had unintentionally tightened his grip. “Fuck,” he said under his breath as he released her. “Finish off the sandwich for supper. I’ll see you later.”

“I’m not afraid of you,” she said with false bravado before he walked away.

Stopping dead in his tracks, he turned back to her and stepped so close she doubted if she could pass a hair between them. He stared at her for ten seconds before leaning in and whispering in her ear. “You’re not supposed to be.”

10

Joseph handed Declan Cody’s chart when he stepped into the room. He spent a few minutes going over it and made a few notes before turning his attention to the woman asleep in the chair. She was turned sideways with her bare feet folded under her and her waitress dress tucked tightly around her bottom.

“How’s she doing?” he asked Joseph.

“She’s been kind of weepy this evening,” he said with a shrug. “I think it might have to do with this.” The nurse crossed the room and handed Declan the sheet of paper the teacher had given Nyxie the day before. “I snuck a peek after she went to sleep.”

Declan turned his head to the childish handwriting on the photocopied page. It was titled,
My
Mom
.

My real mother left when I was four. I don’t rember her much. My dad is dead. I don’t miss him cause he was mean and always stole Nyxie’s money. Nyxie is one of my sisters. She is my best friend and she takes care of me and our neces Lotus and Reina. Nyxie dropped out of high school so she could get a job to pay the rent and other bills. But she says she’ll skin me alive if I don’t finish.

She doesn’t say she loves me very offen but I know she does. When Santa Red and Sage gave me a bike for Christmas she wouldn’t let me ride it until she could by me a helmint. When I told her other kids road without one, she said those kids folks must not love them as much as she loves me. When Stetson Kirkpatrick teased me for wearing it and looking like a dork I just smiled because I rembered what Nyxie said.

If I asked Nyxie what she would want for Mothers Day she’d tell me she’s not my mother so I don’t have to give her nothing but she’s a better mother than my real one. If I could get her anything in the world I’d give her a million dollar lottery ticket so she could quit work. But since I can’t get her that I’ll just tell her I love her.

Declan cleared his throat before turning his back to Joseph. “Do you know if she ate the rest of her sandwich?”

“I came in at 7:00, but I noticed there was a Subways wrapper in the trashcan. Did you give her your foot-long, Dr. Stryker?” he asked in a suggestive tone.

“Fuck off, Joseph.” Declan thrust the paper at him. “Make yourself useful and go make me a copy of this.”

The nurse crossed his arms over his chest refusing to take the paper. “Are you going to sedate her again as soon as I turn my back?”

“No, I’m going to wake her up. I thought she might like a shower and a bed tonight.”

Reluctantly, the older
man took the paper. As soon as Joseph departed, Declan squatted down in front of Nyxie’s chair and lightly stroked her face. “Nyxie, wake up.”

Nyxie startled awake. One moment she was asleep and the next moment her whole body flinched with alarm and she thrust his hand away before she realized it belonged to him.

Declan frowned wondering at her reaction. Did she often wake up so afraid? Was she frightened of him or was this some throwback to her rough beginnings.

“Cody?” she rasped.

“Your brother’s having another good night. Everything is slow tonight, so I’m hoping to get a little sleep during my shift. I thought you might like to join me and sleep horizontally for a few hours.”

She nodded her head tentatively. “Sure.”

He knew she’d agreed not because she wanted to, but because she felt she had no choice. He could tell she expected it to be their first sexual encounter and the prospect made her nervous. But he had no intention of fucking her at work—even if he had condoms with him. He had built up so many scenarios in his mind, he was not about to have vanilla sex with her in one of the beds reserved for residents during their overnight shifts.

“You can take a shower first. I’ve already scrounged up a set of small scrubs for you.”

She smiled dreamily at him. “A shower would be great. Thank you, sir.”

He stroked her hair with the back of his fingers before rising to his feet and extending his hand to help her up.

“I asked Joseph to photocopy that Mother’s Day paper Cody wrote. I think the lawyer can use it in your case.”

“You-you read it?”

A chagrined smile played upon his face. “I probably should have asked you first, but Joseph said you were upset and thought it was because of the essay. He sounds like a great kid.”

“He’s a kid like any other. There are times when I’d like to throw him in a mud puddle, and other times when I just love him to death. I just don’t understand why he wasn’t wearing his bike helmet when the truck hit him.”

“He did have it on, Nyxie. I remember seeing it in the ER.”

Her eyebrows shot up. “He did? But he has a bad concussion.”

“And without it, he would’ve been dead. His cranium wasn’t fractured. What caused the trauma was his brain slamming into his skull when he hit the pavement.”

As Joseph reentered the room, Declan asked where Cody’s clothing and other personal effects were. The nurse opened a cabinet and retrieved a large white bag with hard plastic handles that snapped together. Declan opened the bag and pulled out the damaged helmet. It was black with neon green flames. Nyxie recognized it immediately. Deep grooves marred the right side showing where the rough asphalt had dug into the plastic’s surface. Declan grasped it with two hands and pulled the hard molded plastic apart exposing the thick crack in the protective gear.

“That’s what would’ve happened to his skull if he hadn’t been wearing it—except the plastic has a little flexibility—his cranium doesn’t. His skull would’ve shattered possibly embedding bone into his brain. You saved his life by insisting he wear it.”

As Nyxie turned to her brother, tears sprang to her eyes making them bloodshot and red blotches appear on her cheeks and nose. “I’ve been mad at him for not wearing it. He promised me he’d always wear it and I was upset because I thought he broke his promise.” The tears ran in long rivulets down her cheek and off of her jaw onto the pink polyester she wore.

He folded her into his embrace as she cried.

“What kind of person is mad at someone in a coma?”

“Someone human,” he said. “You’d be surprised at the emotions family members go through in these situations.”

“It’s because everything feels so out of control,” Joseph chimed in patting her back.

Feeling her tense slightly, Declan frowned at him and brushed the nurse’s hand away.

“Possessive much? Sweetheart, if he’s jealous over gay man patting your shoulder, you should run.”

Nyxie lifted her head from Declan’s shoulder. She cast a glance at him and then at Joseph. “He just knows I don’t like being touched by people I don’t know well.”

“Oh.”

Declan brushed the tears off the cheek which had not been pressed against his chest. “Are you ready for a shower?”

“You don’t know how ready I am. I feel absolutely disgusting.”

He released her and held open the curtain as Nyxie grabbed her phone. “I don’t want to miss it if they call,” she said as he escorted her out of the ICU.

“I don’t think he’s been able to get the phones to them yet.”

It was after midnight, so unless they already had the phones and were waiting for a moment to call when no one else would know, they wouldn’t be calling. Yet she felt if she kept the phone with her, somehow she was keeping the girls with her.

“Junior put in the demand that a doctor of our choosing be allowed to give the girls physicals to prove they are in good health. He’s providing the girls with backpacks filled with clothing and nutritious snacks. The phones will be in the backpacks.”

“Are you examining them?” she asked hopefully, knowing he could sneak her in to see them if he did.

“I’m sorry. It’s a conflict of interest. He’ll probably find a pediatrician from out-of-town with a stellar reputation.”

“Oh,” she said, her shoulders dropping with resignation.

“Give me your phone, baby.” Declan said making her thrust the phone behind her back. “I’m not going to keep it. I just thought we could make a video greeting for your nieces.”

Nyxie looked at him wide-eyed as she reluctantly handed over the phone. “Do you think they’ll be able to figure out how to see it?” she asked.

“Kids play with their friends’ phones all the time. Here, take mine and I’ll give them a quick tutorial.” He quickly jabbed at his phone’s display then handed it to her.

“Point the phone at me and tap the red button.”

As Nyxie recorded, Declan quickly went through the phone’s basic features then he turned the camera on her.

“Hi, Lotus, Hi, Reina. God, I miss you. I don’t know if you remember the man who just gave you the cell phone lesson, but he’s one of Cody’s doctors. Dr. Stryker is helping me to get a lawyer to try to get y’all back. He bought you the phones so you can call me anytime. My number is already programed in the contacts. Cody has one also, but he’s not awake yet to use it, but you can leave him text messages and video messages and he can see them when he wakes up.

“I love you both so much and I want us to be back together again soon. Lotus, take care of Reina and, Reina, take care of Lotus.”

Declan swung the phone around to tape himself. “And I’ll take care of Nyxie and Cody, I promise,” he said before turning it back to their aunt.

She waved, tears in her eyes. “I love you and miss
you. Bye, my little princesses. Bye, Bear-Bear.”

Nyxie’s forced cheerfulness turned to abject misery as soon as the camera was shut off.

“They’re fine,” he said.

“But you always hear horror stories about foster care and people who just do it for the money and kids who get abused in the system.”

“I think CPS is more careful these days. It’s much easier to do a thorough background check than it was just a few years ago.”

Declan quickly sent off the video to the girls’ phones. “Come on. You’ll feel better after a hot shower and a good night’s sleep.”

He slung his arm over her shoulders and ushered her into the bowels of the hospital to places where he needed a pass card to enter. “Wait here,” he said leaving her in the hallway only to emerge thirty seconds later. “Come on.”

He led her by the hand to a glorified changing room.

“Is this the men’s locker room?” she asked looking around nervously.

“It’s empty and I’d rather not have to explain why I swiped my card at the women’s changing room. I’ll make sure no one disturbs you while you’re undressed.”

He led her to his locker and handed her the pair of scrubs he’d procured then tugged his gym bag out. “Shampoo, conditioner, body wash—sorry, I guess you’ll smell like me until we can get to the store and buy you something girly.”

“I like the way you smell—but I’m fine with just plain soap. I don’t need anything fancy.”

“Well, this is what I have with me unless you want to use that antibacterial shit in there that dries out your skin.” He continued digging in his bag. “Shaving cream, razor.” He paused and stared at the razor then scavenged to the bottom of the shaving kit to find the new blades. He deftly replaced the old blades with the new. “You can’t be too careful. It’s never a good idea to share the blades especially since I work in a hospital—as a matter of fact, if you cut yourself, you probably should wash the area with that antibacterial shit for a good thirty seconds. Last thing you want is a staph infection.”

“Okay.”

He led her into the shower area and took the bath products from her, placed them on a small shelf inside then turned on the water. “It’s all yours.” he said taking the scrubs.

She stared at him wondering if he expected her to strip in front of him.

He stared back.

With a sigh, he turned around. “Are you always so modest?” he asked as he shifted his weight to one leg.

“Yes.” Her voice strained slightly as she pulled her dress over her head. “I have the body of a twelve-year-old, why would I want anyone to see it?” she said throwing his words back at him.

“Not for long if I have any say in it.”

He heard the curtain draw shut behind him and reached down and picked up her clothes and phone. “Did you throw away your other panties?”

“Of course not. I only have eight pairs. If I tossed one away, I wouldn’t have anything to wear on every other laundry day.”

“Ah.”

“I suppose they’re in Cody’s room.”

“Why do you want to know where my dirty undies are? Are you one of those men who likes to sniff them?”

Laughter exploded from him. “No, not particularly. I just thought I’d wash them in the sink so you can have a clean pair in the morning.”

“Really? You’d do that for me?”

“Of course, it’s my job to take care of you now. And frankly, I’m not doing a very good job or I would have offered you my car keys so you could go home and change while I was stuck at work.”

She laughed briefly. “That would’ve been a mistake. I don’t have a license.”