The Lost Hearts (25 page)

Alexis coughed, the words catching in her throat.  “I can’
t love you the way you love me…”

“Why?” Lewis demanded
, his voice tight with frustration.

“I can’t love you that way because
I’m in love with someone else.”  Tears sprung in her eyes.  She suddenly felt with her whole body how important he was to her.  She couldn’t bear to hurt him. 

Lewis scratched his chin
pensively and nodded his head.  “I knew you were in love with Trevor,” he said.  He laughed shortly.  “I guess I was foolish enough to think it wasn’t that serious.  Or that you’d get over it once he left.”

“I wish I had.”

“You know, Alexis,” Lewis continued, his voice hardening.  “One of the reasons I’ve fallen so hard for you is your self-respect.” 

Her brow creased.  She didn’t like where this was going.  Lewis watched her face, but he sniffed.  “Yes, your self
-respect.”  He shook his head.  “Trevor is my best friend.  He is my brother.  But I know him, and I know how he is with women.  I’m not telling you this because I love you and I want you to love me back.  I’m telling you this now because I care for you, I respect you.  You know how much it hurt you when Trevor left you behind a couple of weeks ago?  That’s nothing.  He will bury you in his own fears, Alexis.”  Lewis stood up and shoved his hands in his pockets.  “If you do have any sense of self preservation, you’ll take me at my word.”

***

Alexis’ eye lids peeled open dryly as she took in the morning light.  She groaned, rolling over on her mat, and tucked her legs tightly against her.  She had almost managed to slip back into the shapeless dream when she remembered the evening before.  Her eyes rolled back in her head and her stomach twisted with dread.  She was already nervous about the new chapter of her adventure, but now that Lewis had not only confessed his heart, but condemned hers, she flat out wanted to stay put or turn around and go home.

Alexis squinted against the morning sun which hung low in the east as she slipped through the hut’s entrance.  The entire village seemed to be awake already, and she spotted Lewis at the center of the buzzing activity, strapping up the horses.  They were ready to go.  Her throat closed as she walked reluctantly to the throng of villagers.  She hated goodbyes.  And she dreaded the look that Lewis might give her after last night.

But Mulmulum walked ahead of her, parting the crowd which touched and squeezed her as she passed by.  When they reached the horses, she lifted a cautious gaze to Lewis, only to find that he smiled broadly at her.  He tied the reins in a knot at the horse’s neck and put a hand against her shoulder.  “I’m sorry about last night, Alexis.”  He looked her squarely in the eyes.  “I was out of line, and I apologize.  Your friendship means the world to me.”

Alexis blinked
in surprise.  “Thank you, Lewis,” she said, and she squeezed his arm. 

Inkata
h appeared, his white puff of hair bobbing low in the crowd.  He took Alexis’ hand, his mouth wide in a laughing, toothless grin.  He spoke to Alexis much like he had the very day she arrived, as though she understood his every word without effort. 

Lewis popped in beside her.  “He says you are always welcome here.  And that he hopes you find what you are looking for.”

Alexis nodded.  What exactly she wanted had become a mystery to her.

***

Beneath the dust-laden stream of light pushing through the crack of the shuttered window, Trevor’s battered face cinched crudely in a frown.  The skin around his eye was swollen blue, stretching to translucence.  His brow glistened in the light, beading with an anxious sweat.  He muttered, his body twisting over a thin, sullied mattress stuffed with straw.   He suddenly felt a charge course through his body like volts of electricity and his limbs shot out in a violent spasm as he sprung upward from the bed. 

There wasn’t enough air in the room, he thought, his mind too hard to follow.  He could hardly remember where he was, and he began to perspire profusely under the confusion.  All he knew was this ballooning sense of doom in his hear
t, and it expanded in the small wooden room, crushing him.  His mind fired fearful half-thoughts.  Trevor winced as a razor blade of panic swept through his insides, pushing him against the floor.  Coughing for breath, his vision pounded black.  He saw her. 
Alexis.
He gulped at the air.  Never in his life had he felt such a certainty with all his body and heart.  Alexis was in trouble.

Chapte
r Twenty-Two

Alexis’ tired body rocked feebly in the saddle.  The sun had already sunk beneath the tree line and the emerald clearing through which the horses cut a path radiated softly in a purple haze of light.  Alexis stared at Lewis ahead.  She couldn’t tear her eyes from his broad shoulders and strong back.  She imagined Trevor, his muscular frame and thighs straddling the horse just as when he had ridden ahead so often.

The day had been quiet between them.  Al
exis had anticipated tension and awkward silences.  But when they first climbed down from the horses to rest under a canopy of trees, Lewis was gentle and easy with her, true to his word that he would not press her.  She thought a million times that she was crazy for turning him away.  By all standards, Lewis was exactly the kind of guy who might have swept her off her feet.  But where her mind struggled, her heart lay in a definitive still.  And yet she knew that what her heart demanded could never be.  Trevor was gone from her life.    

Alexis sighed forlornly and pressed the leather straps of the reins between her fingers.  When she returned her gaze ahead, Lewis was looking
back.  “You okay, Alexis?” he called.

“Yeah, I’m a little beat is all.  How much longer do we have before we stop?”

Lewis looked at the sky, watching the thin threads of clouds glowing in yellow.  “We can probably get another half hour in before we set up camp.  We don’t have to be too picky tonight.  The weather will be kind and we have plenty of water for the next two days.  Unless, of course, you want to bathe.” 

Alexis sniffed involuntarily at her armpit, a habit she had p
icked up over the last month to gauge the overall state of her personal hygiene.  She giggled inwardly as she thought of all the unlady-like behaviors she had developed on her trip.  She shook her head at Lewis.  “I’m good for another day.”

Lewis returned her grin, but his face
crimped into a troubled frown.  There was some noise coming from the right, just north of the meadow.  Twigs snapped and leaves rustled, followed by a heavy pause.  Alexis felt her eyes go wide in animal-instinct.  After Trevor’s encounter with the jaguar, she had feared sudden, inexplicable noises in the jungle.  Her gaze flew to Lewis who had silently put his hand in the air, signaling her to stop.  He leaned low in his saddle, his brow cinched in a discerning fold.  Without a whisper of sound, Lewis slid from his saddle and sunk beneath the long, thin strands of grass now bending softly in a breeze.  He motioned for her to follow.

Heart slamming in her throat, she prayed she could imitate his agility and grace, and at the very least, avoid attracting the attention of whatever was causing Lewis such alarm.  Lewis crawled to her, and she saw the pulse at his neck beat fiercely. 

“Is it an animal?” Alexis hissed at him.

Lewis breathed through his nose, his eyes bright when he looked at her finally.  “No, I don’t think so.”

“Then what?”

“Human.”

“Why are we hiding then?”

Lewis swallowed hard and Alexis felt an icy prick trail along her spine.  Why was he so worried?  “It could be nothing.  But, if they’re hiding from us, that’s a bad s
ign.  They’re either frightened or they mean to do harm.”  Lewis paused a moment, craning his neck again at the sound of movement.  His eyes locked on a cluster of trees twenty feet from them.  “No more talking, Alexis.  Follow me.  Do what I tell you.”

Alexis’ mouth fell open in disbelief.  She couldn’t imagine anyone would pose a threat, but the rawn
ess of Lewis’ tone made the blood from her head drain.  She nodded mechanically, and she crouched low as they crawled toward the forest line.  She looked out at the horses in the clearing, oblivious to any danger, nipping casually at the lustrous strands of grass feathering against their shins.  It was an absurd sight, given the only sense tying Alexis to this place and moment was the brutal hammering of her heart.

They heard it again.  Only this time the noise came from directly ahead.  Their heads snapped to attention and Alexis strained to identify the sound above the furious pulse of adrenaline which curled into a tight, high whistle against her ear drum.  The dis
membered sounds pulled together and she suddenly realized she was hearing voices.  Under her lids, stretched high up to her brow, she watched his hand snake down to his hip.  He drew a fearsome hunting blade. 
Oh my God
, Alexis thought. 
What the hell is happening?

Whoever was out there knew they were hiding.  All in the jungle but the croak of a tree frog fell into an agonizing still.  Th
e air was cotton in her throat, and she became aware of each hair as it stood along her neck.    Panic compressed her brain in a vice-like grip, reduced her to an instinct.  She was only an animal now, panting against the earth, waiting.

She felt his hand close around her arm.  He leaned into her.  His voice was a short heavy whisper, but dead clear.  “You must run to
your horse, Alexis.  Get on it and ride back the direction we came from.  Just go south.  Do you hear me?”

Alexis
’ eyes popped from their sockets and she choked. “Are you out of your mind?  What about you?”

He shook his head tightly.  His eyes were everywhere but her.  “I’ll be right behind you.  You must do it, Alexis.”

“I’m not leaving you!” she wheezed, her body heaving savagely in breathless gasps for air.

He turned his hard, sweat-soaked jaw, and a diamond of sunl
ight caught the silver threads in his eyes as he faced her squarely.  “Alexis, please,” he breathed pleadingly. “I’ll have the advantage of seeing where they are if you go by yourself.  You must go.”  Alexis stared at him hard, her eyes wide and glassy.

“I’ll be right behind you,” he repeated softly.

Alexis inhaled for what seemed like an eternity, summoning the courage to not only expose herself to this shapeless danger, but to leave her friend behind.  Every atom in her body rebelled against his order.   She took his hand, wagging her head.  Lewis fixed her, and she felt his breath as he leaned into her and rest his mouth against her forehead.  His lips brushed her skin.  “Now go,” he whispered. 

Alexis’ chin quivered.  “Okay,” she said, viciously suppressing a sob.

“Good.  Keep as low to the ground as you can,” he advised her.  “But be quick.”

The soil of the jungle floor sank beneath the heels of her boots as she swiveled to face the clearing.  Her horse was farthest fr
om them, but if her adrenaline carried her, she thought she might make it in a matter of seconds.  Alexis sprang forward into a low sprint.  When she reached the horse, she climbed atop, and as she lifted her boots to dig her heels into the horse’s hindquarters, she saw them.  They sprang in clusters from the wide, splayed leaves of banana trees.  They were long, thin men with dark eyes.  Long stripes of white paint ran from shoulder to hand, with streaks ripping across their chests.  They were tearing through swaths of jungle, their faces locked on the spot where she had left Lewis.

Her throat closed instantly when s
he saw him.  His face split with agony, his eyes frozen on her.  He opened his mouth to call out to her, but only the sound of a gurgle escaped his lips.  His hands were soaked in dark red blood.  They clutched a spear which protruded grotesquely from his lower abdomen. 

Alexis s
hook her head.  “No, no, no, no,” she heard herself screaming.  There were more men than she could count.  All painted in white stripes.  The horse began to spook, and it spun in circles as Alexis tried to steady the swirl of panic in her mind.  In an instant, she knew she could not leave Lewis behind.  She was alone now.  She would be hunted either way.  She would rather die by his side than try to flee this inexplicable end. 

She slammed her heels against the hindquarters of the horse and it shot
forward.  She saw the men’s menacing glares shift into confusion, then apparent amusement as she charged them.  She saw one raise his spear, his long muscled arm winding back.  Just as the long wooden pole tipped with an arrowhead peeled through the air, Alexis tumbled from the horse’s back.  She fell hard against the earth and her elbow screamed with pain.  She scrambled to Lewis.  He gasped at her, his eyes clouding over.  She held his face and pressed herself against him.  “Lewis!”  It was a shredded cry that filled the forest. 

Lewis’ eyes fell back in their sockets.
She shook him.  “Please!” she begged.  She cupped his face.  “Lewis!” she called again, desperately wishing her voice were a rope he could hang onto.  When she pulled backed, she saw his eyes straining to refocus.  He opened his mouth and a stream of blood trickled from his mouth.

“Alexis,” he rasped.  It was too much.  He fixed his eyes on her and with them told her that he loved her.  He could feel death pulling at him, and he spent his last living wish on her. 

Alexis disintegrated.  “No,” she howled.  But he was gone.  Twigs snapped all around.  When she looked up, they were above her.  A circle of sneering faces. 

“Just what
the hell are you doing here?”  she heard from behind. The circle parted slightly and she saw a round pink face appear.  A thrush of yellow poured from cheeks and chin into a wiry beard.  He looked around at the men, all of them studying a sobbing, red-haired woman.  He shrugged his shoulders and smirked at her as though it were a big joke to find her there.  She hardly saw him raise his hand and smash the butt of a pistol against her skull.

***

“What are we gonna do with her, then?”  The pink-faced man folded his arms impatiently as he leaned back on the hind legs of a wooden chair.  The air in the shack was moist and heavy.  It smelled like soiled linens and poorly-bathed men.  Two lanterns glowed faintly in the corners, casting a warm light on an otherwise foreboding scene.  Another man sat quietly on a stool, and he thumbed a paper stuffed with course shredded tobacco leaves.  He rolled it quickly and put its tapered end between his thin lips.  From his pocket he retrieved a box.  He struck a match and the sharp, angular lines of his face divided into long pointed shadows.

“Well?” d
emanded the yellow-bearded man from the jungle. 

“Have yo
u forgotten yourself, Duval?  I
ask the questions.  I call the shots.”  He pinched the butt of his cigarette and inhaled deeply, watching his companion with contempt.  Duval sniffed in indignation and scratched his head.

“Okay, but all I’m saying is we gotta do
some
thing with her quick.  We were on a war raid today, for Christ’s sake.  Just a kilometer east of obliterating that village.  Then comes along this lady and her Guinean friend.”  Duval paused, waiting for agreement.  “I mean, dammit Solomon, if a villager was around, we’ve lost our advantage.  They could know what we’ve got in store for them.  They might be rallying their own war party now.  What are we doing hanging onto this woman for?”

Solomon exhaled a stream of opaque smoke through his nose.  He said nothing.  Duval threw up his hands in exasperation.  “Do you get me, boss?  Everything we’ve worked for might have b
een royally screwed up.  And instead of rushing that village like we’ve planned for months now,
months
, we’re sitting around eyeballing this pretty young thing.”

Solomon stood from his wooden stool.  It scraped against the dirt floor.  He brought the cigarette to
his mouth and towered above the pile of odorous cloth which had served as their bedding the last months.  Now against the filth and stink there was a small, beautiful creature curled in involuntary slumber.  He knelt down, took out the cigarette from between his lips, and blew the smoke around her.  His fingers fell to the crown of her head and he stroked the bloody gash where Duval had pistol-whipped her.

“I get it boss,” said Duval
, leaning forward now.  “You wanna go to bed with her.  Fine.  But have some sense.  She’s dead weight.”

Solomo
n flicked the cigarette to the floor.  He crushed the heel of his boot against it and ground it into the dirt.  “Shut up, Duval.  Can you manage that for a bloody minute?  I’ve spent the last three months listening to that hole you call a mouth.  I can’t believe no one’s ever taught you a lesson.  Don’t make me be the one.”  Solomon didn’t bother to face Duval.  His gaze was locked on the shallow rise of his prisoner’s breathing.  The voluptuous slope of her hips. 

“I’m a business man at heart, Duval.  You know that.  You have any idea what price a beautiful white woman would fetch?  At the very least, she might be leverage in a sticky situation.”  Solomon combed his greasy locks with his long, bony fingers.  “I don’t know what we’ll do with her.  But hands off her for now.  Got it?”  Solomon speared his partner with his eyes.  “In the meantime, send two scouts to the village.  Make sure they’re still oblivious to the fact we mean to decimate them.”

Duval stood up stiffly from the chair and cast a pointed glance at Alexis.  “You keep your head on, boss.  I’ve got a bad feeling about this one.”

“That’ll be all, Duval,”
Solomon said with a dismissive flick of his hand.  Duval moved to the shack door, and before it creaked shut behind him Solomon called, “Oh, and Duval?  Sleep outside tonight.”

***

There was nothing but blackness.  And then a ripping agony that seemed to tear the very surface of her brain.  She could feel herself trembling beneath its torturous waves.  She could feel her heart now.  The acrid filth of the bed linens registered in her nostrils and her stomach turned.  Still there was nothing but black.  And then she heard it.  The unmistakable pull of phosphorous against a matchbox.  Her eyes moved frantically beneath her lids as though scanning the dark depths of her brain for clues.  She couldn’t put it together.  Her senses were shredded, and dimensions apart.