The Lost and the Damned (13 page)

“Hi,” he said again, goofy grin in place. “I n-need to get back in. I n-need to get back in my room. Buh-buh-but I c-c-can’t get through the door.”

That’s one wicked stutter. “Okay…” I started, trying to think of something inoffensive to refer to him as.

“M-Max,” he said.

“What?”

“M-M-Max,” he said, “my n-name is Max.”

“Okay, Max,” I said, “How did you get on this side of the glass?”

“Nuh-nuh-nurse Chambers brought me out.”

“Where’s this nurse now?” I hoped there was a nurse around that had not encountered the pyromaniac part of the Five.

“I don’t nuh-nuh-know where she is. I don’t nuh-nuh-know where any nuh-nurses are. Everything was d-dark and I was in my room. Buh-but I realized I hadn’t gotten my m-meds. It’s very important I get my m-meds. I heard D-doctor Ashborn c-clearly tell the nuh-nurses I have to get them every f-four hours. Dr. M-m-merill made it very c-clear to them that if anything, I should get my m-meds more often. It’s very important I get my m-meds.”

“Yeah, got that,” I said, “you need your meds.”

“Yeah,” he said dazedly. I watched his eyes while he talked. He was pretty zonked out on whatever he was on. When he started to talk again, I cringed internally. His stutter was bad, but worse with his desire to tell me everything. “S-so it was time for my m-meds. I tried nuh-knocking for a nuh-nurse, but none came. The d-door was unlocked so I went outside. It was d-dark, but no nuh-nurses. It was d-dark, but I remembered the way. I looked for a nuh-nurse at the nuh-nuh-nurse’s station, but there were none. But the d-door was open, so I went to look. There’s a cabinet with the m-medicine, but it’s l-locked. I went to go back to my room but the lights went on. The d-door l-locked itself and I was on this side of the glass.” He nodded to himself. “I sh-shouldn’t be on this s-side of the glass. Patients go on the other s-side of the glass unless escorted.”

“So this nurse you mentioned didn’t actually bring you out?” I said.

“N-no,” he said, pausing. “Buh-but I was looking for them.”

I looked over at the door and noticed metal rods imbedded in the plastic. It was a powered door. So when the power was out, it shut off, and with the power on, it locked itself. The power outage let Max out. So if Max was able to get out, then… I stared over Max’s shoulder at what I could see of the hall. “Max,” I asked, “Did anyone else get out of their cells? Rooms, I mean.”

“It was d-dark,” he said simply.

“I know it was dark, but did you see anyone? Maybe hear something.”

“I think I heard something,” he said with a frown. “C-can you get me my m-meds? Are you a nuh-nuh-nurse?”

“No, I’m not a nurse. And I can’t get you any meds,” I responded.

“That’s too bad, d-doctor,” he said. “I think the m-meds are wearing off.” He paused, staring at his slippers for a long moment. Then he looked back up at me. “D-doctor, can I go back to my room?”

“If I can figure out how to get through the door…” I said, looking over his shoulder at the door.

“I think I sh-should really get back to my room.”

“I know, Max,” I said, relaxing. He seemed harmless. He was drugged to high heaven, so even if stabby, I think I could deal with him. Besides that, he seemed like someone who fanatically obeyed rules, which could be a problem. Sometimes the fanatics played ball, other times they were the first to go crazy. Whether he was truly fanatical about rules or not, he seemed to really want to get back to his room, which I had no problem with. The fewer mentally disturbed wandering about, the better, as far as I was concerned.  “I’m a new doctor here, Max, so I don’t know where everything is. Bear with me.”

“Oh!” he said, perking up. “I can g-give you a tour then.”

“I don’t think I need a tour, but I do need to get to Wing D.”

“Ah, Wing D!” he said, surprisingly flawlessly.

“Been there?”

“N-no.”

“I see,” I said.

“Wing D is f-female patient rooms. I’m not a-allowed in there.”

“Understandable,” I said, feeling like I was talking to a child.

He stared at his slippers for another long moment before looking up again. “I nuh-know how to get to Wing D.” He had this puppy dog look, as if seeking some kind of recognition, some gold star.

“Maybe I’ll let you show me there,” I said, passing by him and crouching at the door, looking at the mechanism, “if I can get through this door.” Max was behind me and my back to him, which was already showing more trust than I probably should. I was honest when I said I’d let him lead me to the next wing. I hoped that his presence might dissuade some of the others patients from bothering me. I’m not sure why I thought it would work, but it was better than nothing.

The door had a keypad as well as a scanning pad. I didn’t know any codes, so I’d need a keycard. I began fumbling around in my pockets, finding lint and keys, wallet and phone. I went from pocket to pocket, trying to remember which one I put it in.

“You n-need a k-keycard,” said Max, leaning over my shoulder to look at what I was doing.

I rolled my eyes as I continued to fumble in my pockets. In my inside jacket pocket, I found the keycard that Dr. Merill gave me. I waved it by the keycard scanner. There was a beep, followed by a loud ka-chunk as the bars disengaged. Without its locking mechanism, the door pushed open easily. We walked through and I let go of the door, letting it swing back into position. I took a step forward, wincing midstep as I heard the ka-chunk of the door locking behind me. Sure I had the keycard, but it was still a very tangible barrier. Now I was on the inside, the patient side.

With Max in the lead, we walked down the hallway. Under the hum of fluorescent lights, everything was as generic and inoffensive as on the other side of the glass. White doors lined the hallways, the only distinctive features the number painted on the door and the mini-door covering a window where a nurse could look in on the patient. Light reached everywhere, banishing all shadows from the hallway and bleaching out all the colors. White pervaded the entire hallway. It had a numbing effect.

As I feared, the hallways were not empty. Max was not the only patient who had decided to wander. I saw an old man in a bathrobe standing on one side of the hall. He looked to be in his sixties, his skin wrinkled, his head almost completely bald. He stared at me as we passed in the hallway, his expression unidentifiable, the left side of his face twitching. As we walked by, his head turned to watch me, his dark eyes staring. I wondered if he was going to say or do something, but he kept on staring. I looked at Max, who seemed unconcerned as he walked by. Even after we passed the old man, I turned my head and saw him still staring at me.

“So, Max,” I said, hoping conversation might defuse some of the tension I was feeling and maybe make me seem not so out of place to any who might be watching. “How long have you been here?”

“In the h-hospital?” he said, confused.

“Yeah, in the hospital. How long have you been a patient?”

“N-not long. Less than a y-year,” he said.

“Oh,” I said, surprised. Somehow I figured he had been checked in for a long, long time.

“It’s not the fuh-first time I’ve been in the h-hospital,” he said.

“Ah, I see,” I replied, distracted by an ajar door. A pale face stared at me from the door. As we got closer, the door slammed shut. “When were you in the hospital?” I asked, not caring for the answer.

“W-when I was a tuh-tuh-teenager,” he said. I stared at the recently closed door as we passed.

“It’s too bad you’re in here again,” I said, turning my head to look at the door, which opened again as we passed, the same face staring at me.

“Yes, t-too bad,” Max said glumly.

We walked in silence for a short while. I’m not sure what went through Max’s head, but I was growing paranoid. I kept looking at every door, wondering who was behind it. Every face we passed stared at me. Sure, I was the new person, the new “doctor”, so I should expect to get stared at, but I was feeling something beyond that. Maybe it was only paranoia. I knew I was uncomfortable trapped in this hospital and even more uncomfortable being in a patient ward. I realized that few, if any, of the patients were violent. That didn’t keep me from the fear that any of them could be the one that was violent, or the one that’s about to become violent for the first time.

“Th-this is my room,” said Max, proudly, breaking me out of my thoughts. I turned and looked at the door he gestured at. It looked the same as all other doors, with the number 127. It was still ajar from when Max had left. I nodded to him curtly, unsure of what response to give. He was proud of his room, but I could honestly give a damn. I just needed to get to the other end of this wing. Max led on down the hall.

“So what did you do before you came to the hospital, Max?” I said, trying to make conversation again.

“I was a re-research scientist,” he said. “A tech-tech-technician,” he added, having great difficulty with that word.

“That’s interesting,” I said. My eyes were now on a group of patients congregated on one side of the hallway. There were three, each in a bathrobe. They looked like they were having a conversation, or had been, until they saw me. After that, they all stared at me. The one nearest the center of the hallway was the youngest, probably in his early twenties or late teens. While the others had stares that were hard to guess, maybe ominous – maybe not, the younger man’s stare was a pure glare. There was malice in him.

“So what type of research did you do, Max?” I asked, trying to continue conversation. The glare of the young man unnerved me. I wanted my conversation with Max to mask my presence, maybe defuse some of the malice. Max was one of them, maybe by talking to him, I could show that I was okay or at least undeserving of their glares.

Max had normally been prompt in responding, just happy to talk. But this time he paused for a long moment before responding. “I c-can’t tell you that, d-doctor. It’s see-see-secret. I’m probably already in t-trouble for what I already t-told to D-doctor Ashb-born.”

Huh, that’s interesting. Even someone as simple as Max could have secrets.

“That’s okay,” I said. Best not to push the one helpful person I’ve found. We were passing near the three men and the young man’s glare was as strong as ever. I’d be walking within a foot or two of him unless I made it obvious that I tried to avoid him. It would be so easy for him to reach out and grab my arm. I had both height and weight on him, so I could take him in a fair one-on-one fight. The problem was in this circumstance his friends might join in or he might have a hidden weapon. Knowing he was a patient added an air of unpredictability that I wouldn’t have on the street. I’m not a master of reading people, but there are certain ways you expect someone to act when they’re starting a fight. I decided that if said person was a mental patient, all bets are off.

Finally we passed them, continuing down the hallway. I let out my breath, unaware I was holding it. I had been in fights before, but I had never been so tense in expecting one. There was something about his eyes and how he looked at me. A part of me almost wished he would start something, so at least the tension would be gone and it’d be something I understood. I immediately banished that thought; any fight that could be avoided was worthwhile, and I had a job to do.

I took a moment and turned my head back at the three men. They were all still staring at me. The young one’s mouth was curled in a snarl. When he saw me look, he stepped forward to come my way, but one of the other three grabbed his shoulder and pulled him back. All the tenseness returned to me. I hastened to catch up with Max. I counted my blessings that I did not hear footsteps behind me.  We turned a corner to another hall.

“You have some interesting people in here with you, Max,” I said, breathing a heavy sigh.

“Y-yes,” he said. I waited for him to explain or just continue the small talk. He just kept on walking. Tough crowd here.

I wanted to keep talking, even if I had to listen to Max’s stutter. The small talk was relaxing. I decided to try to pick his brain. “I heard you mention Dr. Ashborn a few times. Is he your doctor?”

“Y-yes,” he said. “N-not at first. It was D-doctor Merill first. But then they ch-changed and I had D-doctor Ashb-born.”

“Interesting. Do you know why they switched you?”

“N-no. D-doctor Ashb-born had d-different t-t-tests.”

“What type of tests?” I asked. Merill had mentioned Ashborn’s illegal activities.

“Hu-hu-human p-p-potential,” replied Max.

“That doesn’t seem too bad,” I said out loud. Merill had said experiments, but human potential stuff was New Agey stuff, meditation, crystals, higher consciousness and all that.

“B-bad?” He paused, still walking. “D-doctor Ashb-born is very b-bad.”

Now we’re getting somewhere! “What did he do to you?”

Max stopped in place. He didn’t turn to me, but I saw his hands tighten into fists. “He st-stole my b-book.” He was still spacey from drugs, but I still heard an edge in his voice.

“A book?”

“Yes,” he said.

“So you’re mad at him for stealing a book from you?”

There was a long moment, then his hands relaxed and he started walking again. “Y-yeah. D-doctor Ashb-born is not a nice man.”

“Yeah,” I said, “I guess not.” Not getting anything out of him; nothing useful at least.

I followed him down the hallways in silence. I saw other patients standing idly in the hallway. They still stared at me as I walked, but none were as unnerving as the young glaring man. I looked for signs of nurses or doctors, but saw none. I saw two staircases, strangely within the ward, but blocked off by glass doors. In a few places I saw burnt walls with patients staring at them, but there were surprisingly few signs of the Five and the damage they wrought. I had visions of the nurses fleeing down the hallways after the first display of their power, cornering themselves in the lounge where they met their end. I now walked the opposite direction down the same hallways, toward the source of that chaos. The air suddenly felt just a bit more chilly and I rubbed my arms.

We made another turn, and we arrived at the other side of the patient ward. I was glad to have Max as a guide. There were more turns than I expected in the patient ward, a floor plan designed by an unorganized mind. I might have gotten lost on my own and this would not be a place I would want to spend any extra time in.