The Lord Of Misrule (32 page)

This brawl had but a quarter hour to run afore the Shambles was teeming with city sheriffs, constables and the Watch. For Southwark lads with fouled bills at the city courts this was no time to linger. Jemmy could have prayed for a providential distraction if he’d been of a religious bent though a few years with Canting Michael tended to cure even the most devout of any such leanings. As if the thought transmuted lead–like into alchemist’s gold, clouds of choking sulphurous smoke began to spew across the Shambles clouding the affray. Jemmy didn’t need any prompting. Pulling his cloak over his mouth and grabbing hold of a rather battered and proudly bloodied Will he launched a last charge to clear the trap of Newgate Shambles.

*

Old Bent Bart coughed and spluttered wiping away streaming tears with a grimy hand. What devil’s work was this? One moment the Shambles was full of brawling figures striving to do mischief and to maim, and the next the place stank like a belch from Satan’s own arse and was twice as murky. Now in one respect this shielded him from targeting by those keen for revenge. However Old Bent Bart was as lost in the choking gloom as if he were at the game of blind man’s bluff. Worse still his shadow and watchdog Kut Karl had disappeared. This lack of armed and looming backup made him twice as nervous and wary of every scrape and nearby groan or cry, though being deliberately sought out in these choking fumes he fervently hoped was near impossible. He could barely discern anything beyond two paces.

A sudden thump across his shoulders sent Old Bent Bart a tumbling and sprawling on the muddy cobbles. Dazed by the surprise blow he still managed a clumsy roll as his hand groped for a concealed dagger. Out of the smoke a cudgel lashed out knocking the blade from his bruised and stinging fingers soon followed by a familiar sneering voice. “Now, now Master Hunchback, plotter and schemer, well naught have any of that ‘mischief’ to spoil our friendly chat…after all yea did invite me, didn’t yea!”

His hand numb Old Bent Bart struggled almost upright. Another deft blow to his shoulder forced him down to his knees, the chill water of the street slush making his joints ache.

“Hmm yes, that posture suits yea Master Hunchback. A skulking traitor should be on his knees in the filth before his betters.”

Old Bent Bart flinched and bowed over as the cudgel prodded him savagely in the gut. Even in the smoke’s gloom he could see the gleam of Earless Nick’s white teeth as the Master of the Liberties grinned, clearly amused by his play. Wheezing from the blow that’d knocked the wind out of him Old Bent Bart shuffled forward still on his knees in the most abject manner. “Oh please, I beg yea Lord o’ the Liberties, don’t hurt me. I’s promise I’ll support yea as the Upright Man!”

Earless Nick nodded clearly amused at the attempt. “Tsk tsk Master Crookback. Is this the best yea can do? I’d heard ye was a great player o’ the crowds at Bedlam, tugging their heart strings with your piteous cries and lamentations.”

This remark was punctuated by a heavy strike to his bent back and Old Bent Bart didn’t have to counterfeit his cry of pain. Instead still down in the street muck he clutched at Earless Nick’s boots. The Lord of the Liberties laughed at the scene and tapped his cudgel in contemplation of his next strike.

Old Bent Bart may have been a good foot or more shorter than other men thanks to his infirmity, but as many a beggar could attest that didn’t mean his strength was as paltry as a child’s. Nor was his cunning. With his hand firmly clasped around Earless Nicks ankles he pulled backwards and the gang lord joined his victim in the filth of the Shambles street, his cudgel clattering off and away from him.

As any beggar or true roister or rogue could attest no matter what lordly skills a man may possess or how much tutelage in the arts of sword, lance or axe, in a brawl advantage and opportunity trump all. Oh yes and a lack of scruples. Old Bent Bart hadn’t acquired his position by being sweet, gentle and forgiving. The graveyards and ditches of the city were full enough of fools. So with his tormentor now at his level Old Bent Bart didn’t let the chance go a begging. He opened his mouth wide and with all the power of his heavy jaw chomped down upon Earless Nick’s conveniently positioned codpiece.

*

From his hiding place Hobblin’ Hugh heard the most gut wrenching scream so close to him that instinct took over and he bolted from his hidey hole. Not the best of moves since three hobbled steps flight had him slam into an unyielding figure. The brawler seized his cap and hair in a strong hand and drew him closer in almost a lover’s embrace and lifting him up without effort shook him just like a hound with a rat. A second strong hand wretched his crutch from him and threw it down the narrow alley where it clattered against the water butt. A gripping hand swung him round like a mummer’s puppet and Hugh beheld the face of his captor. It was his master’s enforcer Kut Karl, the knife man. The Lowlander was as happy as a pig in mud at his catch, though if Hugh were a bold rogue and not shaking and quivering in terror, he may’ve quipped that Kut Karl would be more at home in a sty than a street. He wasn’t and haltingly cursed the grim facts of fate.

“When I’z saw mine own little maggot wit that arseknudle Hawks I knew that ye would be mine afore ze day were done.”

“N…n…n…no, tis not what y’ think. Twas Hawks, Hawks did it!”

Ignoring Hugh’s stammering pleas Kut Karl shook his head and retreated deeper into the shadows of the alley. Hugh tried to struggled and squirmed, but Karl held him tight as the knifeman hissed in satisfaction. “Y’ little maggot, y’s betrayed y’r miester. Naught will save y’ now!”

Kut Karl’s hand gripped Hugh’s chin with a strength enough to pop his teeth. Hugh tried to speak but the clenched hand trapped his words. He stared up into the face of his master’s most feared henchman from the distance of only a few inches. The knifeman’s pale blue eyes were icier than the Thames and Kut Karl’s grin was full of gloating satisfaction and broken teeth. Hugh knew his last moment on this earth was at hand. He’d have tried to frame a quickly inventive plea or prayer but his mouth was held fast. Not even a whimper escaped. Slowly Karl tucked his cudgel into his belt and then drew out his beloved knife, his precious darling and the reason for his name. Every day in the
Labours of Ajax
he lovingly skimmed the edge with a whetstone crooning to it with an affection he showed to no living man…or woman.

Hugh closed his eyes. He didn’t care about honour or bravery or any other foolish pastimes. He didn’t want his last sight to be the gleam of pleasure in Kut Karl’s savage features. The tip of the blade made almost a loving caress along the line of his throat before coming to rest at the spot above his Adam’s apple. Then as if he could feel the pressure of the fingers tighten for the lunge the blade trembled.

Driven by curiosity Hugh’s eyes slitted open and beheld a strangest sight, in fact a miracle given by one of the archangels. Kut Karl, the bane of his short life, had dropped the dagger. Right now he was trying to talk but all that came out was a stuttering wheeze, then a trickle of foamy red fluid leaking over his lips. Very slowly as if he was a mummer’s doll with its strings cut one by one, Kut Karl sagged and dropped to his knees still trying to speak but his words whatever they were came out as more reddened froth.

Then as if he was the archangel Michael made flesh and wreathed in smoke and a piercing shaft of cold winter light was a tall figure, bloody dagger in hand. The man or angel reached down and tugged off the sleeve of Kut Karl’s ragged gown before casually cleaning his blade on it and shook his head as if saddened by the act of slaying.

“Karl always were a fool. I’s never seen a soul so caught up in the act o’ murder that he’d forget ta watch ‘is back in a brawl.”

Hugh wavered in indecision. By rights he should avenge the slaying of his fraternity brother even if it was the feared and hated Karl but somehow he felt more inclined towards kissing the feet of his saviour. One thing stopped him though, one small thing. It was his tormentor and bane of this Misrule week, the cursed trickster and cozener Hawks.

*

Meg dusted the soot from her hands and gave a satisfied nod at her efforts. Those smoke grenadoes were an excellent choice for an affray. She must remember to tell Agryppa that his mixture was so effective especially after she’d added an extra two ounces of sulphur. The whole Shambles was wreathed in the thick clouds of acrid smoke, and the combatants were staggering around coughing, well those that hadn’t fled. Best of all Meg had earned an amused smile and nod of approval from Captaine Gryne, who immediately set his retainers to clearing out the last reluctant pockets of brawling rogues. So at a loss she carefully picked her way amongst the debris of overturned stalls and beast carcasses looking for any injured in need of aid.

*

For Flaunty Phil the day had tumbled out of control from its triumphal peak. Now from how his body and face felt he was the very image of a suffering wretch. His nose pulsed with vivid scarlet pain at every heartbeat and he’d swear that a few of his ribs were cracked from some cursed rogue’s boot or cudgel, probably both and then a deal extra. Phil lifted his head up from the reddening puddle and looked around. The brawl was over.

Whether he’d had his revenge on Old Bent Bart he couldn’t recall. There were so many rogues he’d punched, struck or bit maybe one of them was that miserable, Crookback. No matter! The beggar would be hunted down. In the meantime Phil pulled himself out from under the wrecked stall and using a post to steady himself, regained an almost standing position. His head ached as if it’d been pounded like a drum by one of Satan’s imps. What they’d used his mouth for Flaunty Phil didn’t wish to speculate upon, but by Christ’s blood it was foul. Damn but he could do with a firkin of Brandywine. It didn’t take much thought to sort out that his campaign for the Upright Man was now worth less than punk’s chastity. Blood trickled down over his eyes blurring his vision, and he wept with despair, pain and loss.

A light hand touched his shoulder and a soft voice spoke in his ear. “Are you sore hurt friend? Here let me cleanse the blood from your face.”

Surrendering to the tender ministrations and a cool soothing cloth Flaunty Phil eased himself down to squat on a barrel. His vision cleared and before him stood a small lass. She was young, maybe fifteen or so, attractive and dressed in a fine scarlet kirtle. From its quality he’d say she was perhaps a merchant’s daughter. The girl was holding a satchel in which she was rummaging. In some fuzzy part of his mind she appeared familiar and Phil shook his head attempting to clear if only briefly the last of the muzzy pain. Memory sudden and jagged blazed and he lurched upright throwing out a hand, pointing. “You! You’re Bedwell’s bitch!”

While possibly true in theory rather than fact, it was an error in the here and now. The swung satchel hit Phil across the side of his recently cleaned face and his head smacked into a timber post. For Flaunty Phil Misrule’s day was over—in a blossom of pain and darkness. Sometimes the right words could be so dangerously hurtful.

Sauntering along towards the Newgate Shambles Ned idly made a play of kicking at the snow–covered ruts. In earlier years he would have skipped along quite merrily, pretending to be a giant from the old tales smashing the walls of rebellious vassals of King Arthur. That was at least a decade ago and it had sort of lost its allure since then. Anyway even if he wanted to indulge in that childish pastime it wasn’t a worthwhile impulse today. His present company would have taken him as either ale sodden or crazed with the sudden onset of the Sweats. Ned scowled briefly as he looked over his shoulder and gave a resigned shrug. Sometime the impulsiveness of a child was so damned tempting, especially after the last few days and even more so after the last two wasted hours. Christ on the Cross he was so cursedly bored!

It wasn’t right. It shouldn’t be so tedious. He’d the company of Christmas Revels back at the Sign of the Spread Eagle, good cheer by the tankard full, and those oh so diaphanously clad nymphs singing songs of a Maying and other rural idylls. Ahh yes, it was a blessed refuge abounding with games of dice and decent play of Hazard at cards, all honest and free from the common Liberties plays of cozenage. If those diversions waned then he could always stroll off down to the Frost Fair on the Thames. It was said to be a marvellous diversion full of players, mummers and tumblers, as good as the annual St Bartholomew the Great Fair or so one of his fellow revellers claimed.

Whatever the wicked temptation or lewdly suggestive diversion the Frost Fair might hold it just wasn’t going to pull him out of his current mood—or predicament. The present evening may be full of merriment and diversion, well at least more so since his revolting remedy for the black canker of frostbite was concluded. Having his feet and private parts drenched in warm fresh piss hourly wasn’t by any stretch of the imagination a cheery occasion.