The Longing (7 page)

The unexpected sight of Richard Cameron
strolling through the lobby leached every ounce of strength from
Amelia’s body. Her parasol clattered to the floor and her heart
jerked so hard she clapped a hand over the pain shooting through
her chest. “What are you doing here?” she asked in breathless
shock.

Richard swept up her parasol and smiled. “I’m
a partner in the bank now.”

If the muscles in her legs hadn’t gone lax,
Amelia would have rushed back outside, but it was all she could do
to remain standing while several patrons, including two school
board members, Clara and Art Bortwick, turned to see what the
commotion was about. That Richard was here, now, while her
reputation was already under so much speculation was too much to
bear.

“You’re white as wool, Amelia.” He pointed
toward a corner office with the tip of her parasol. “Come sit down
a moment.”

“I’ll wait for a teller.”

“Nonsense.” He caught her elbow and tugged
her forward. “I’m honored to help a friend.”

To deny him would cause a scene she couldn’t
afford, so Amelia followed him into his office. He gave the door a
nudge to close it, but Amelia caught the edge of it to keep it open
a few inches.

He glanced at her with a question in his
eyes, but she turned away from his handsome face before succumbing
to the immediate sense of intimacy she’d always felt when he looked
at her. The Bortwicks’ inquisitive gazes peering through the
six-inch gap in the doorway provided a strong motivation for
Amelia’s shift of attention. They would flay her alive if she spent
time alone with a man, especially if she was flaunting her breach
of propriety in a public facility.

Richard handed Amelia her parasol. “I’m
sincerely sorry about your father. I just returned from
Philadelphia and heard the news this morning. If there is anything
I can do to help you and your mother, I would consider it a
privilege to do so.”

Amelia clutched her parasol and wondered how
long her heart could endure the thunderous beating before it
exploded. So many years she’d dreamed of this moment, of Richard
dashing back into town to beg her forgiveness and rescue her from
going mad in her self-induced solitary confinement. But her
girlhood lover wasn’t on his knees begging her for anything. He was
standing with his hip cocked, as arrogant and self-assured as
ever.

She inched closer to the door. “Why are you
in the banking business? I thought you had a law practice in
Philadelphia.”

“I didn’t care for the legal profession.”
Richard nodded toward the empty chair. “Sit down. Please. I won’t
bite.”

Yes he would. If he was inclined, Richard
would nibble and tease and seduce her until he ripped out another
chunk of her heart. No matter how much she’d once adored him, or
how intimately he was looking at her now, Amelia refused to succumb
to his charm. She wasn’t the same naive girl who had melted the
minute Richard smiled at her. She was just a little off balance and
breathless from the shock of seeing him here. That’s all.

Richard accepted the draft she handed him
then sat in his oversized chair. He looked at the note and his
eyebrows shot up. “Did the Graysons owe your father money?”

“They bought Papa’s mill.”

Richard’s face turned ashen and he gaped at
her. “Are they insane?”

“I beg your pardon?” she asked, offended.

“I...I’m sorry.” Richard looked at the draft
and shook his head. “I’m just shocked that Kyle would make an
investment like this. Pardon my candor, but your father’s mill is
in terrible financial shape.”

“It is?”

Richard glanced up in surprise. “You don’t
know about this?”

Amelia’s stomach did a slow, sickening roll
and she shook her head.

His expression filled with sympathy and he
stood up. “I’m terribly sorry, Amelia, but your father’s finances
aren’t in the best of shape. I would have broken this more gently
had I known you weren’t aware of it.”

“There must be a mistake. My father was a
smart businessman.”

He sighed and picked up a folder from his
desk. “There are several outstanding mortgages tied to his
business. His personal account is empty, so those liens will remain
against the mill.” He held out a thick folder. “Our bank files are
confidential, but you’re welcome to look through your father’s
accounts if you feel the need.”

Amelia took the folder and flipped through
the papers, her eyes seeking confirmation of the truth while her
heart prayed Richard was mistaken. Slowly, as she scanned her
father’s records, her body grew weak and she sagged against his
desk. From what she could understand of the documents, her father
appeared to be broke. All her mother could depend on was Amelia’s
pathetic monthly teacher’s salary that simply couldn’t support
them. They had nothing left but a house that her mother would lose
if Kyle tried to back out of buying the mill, which he would
certainly do the minute he learned about the liens.

Amelia’s hands shook as she handed the folder
back to Richard. “What am I going to do?”

“I don’t know, but I’m willing to help you
figure out a solution to the problem.”

That he was sincere was embarrassingly
apparent, but Amelia couldn’t think past the disaster crashing upon
her. “How on earth can I manage all of this on a teacher’s
salary?”

“I’ll help you.” Richard dropped the folder
on the desk then bracketed her shoulders with his warm palms. “I
know things ended badly with us, but I would like to see you again.
Let me help you. I’ll come by this evening and we’ll resolve this
together.”

Torn between kicking him for breaking her
heart, and falling into his arms to weep out her problems, Amelia
willed herself not to move, not to make a spectacle of herself
again. Long ago she’d promised herself she would never again beg a
man for anything, but she hadn’t known how tempting it would be in
a crisis.

She eyed Richard, wanting to believe he was
sincere, but afraid to trust him. For three tense seconds their
gazes locked, then he smiled that half-smile that had cost Amelia
her virginity. “I’ve missed you.”

Oh, God.

“I can help you, Amelia. And you can help
me.”

Her stomach dropped and she held her breath.
Maybe she wasn’t seventeen years old, but Richard had the power to
make her feel that way—naive and desperate.

“We’re both lonely.” He touched a finger to
her cheek. “Don’t deny it. I know how you’ve been living. I’ve been
alone, too. I don’t want to be alone anymore. We can enjoy each
other’s company. We can become companions.”

“Companions?” She glanced toward the door and
saw the Bortwicks pretending to be reviewing a paper with the loan
officer, but she knew they were purposely observing everything that
was happening between her and Richard. She moved back a step. “Have
you forgotten that you walked out on me when I could have been in
trouble? That was inconsiderate and cowardly, Richard. How do you
expect me to be your companion when I despise you?”

His laugh echoed through the office and
Amelia cringed. She knew the Bortwicks would be glaring at her by
now, but she didn’t have the courage to turn around and confirm her
fear.

“I hurt you, but we don’t hate each other. We
had something special once, didn’t we?”

“Apparently not.”

“I just wasn’t ready to marry.”

“You should have told me that before you
ruined me.”

“I didn’t ruin you. Forget the past, Amelia.
I have. And I’ve forgiven you.”

“For what?” she blurted, too incensed to
control the increasing level of her voice. “For giving you the only
thing that was ever truly mine? For letting you destroy my
life?”

Richard glanced toward the lobby and nudged
the door closed in the face of the Bortwicks’ shocked stares.
Amelia lunged for the brass handle, but he caught her elbow and
swung her into his arms. “We both got hurt. Why not forget it and
start over?”

She stared at him, wanting to believe that he
was sincere, that the spark in his eye was love instead of
lust.

“We were young, Amelia. I needed to go back
to college. I told you from the beginning that I was going back to
school.”

He had, but Amelia had believed their romance
would change his mind. She’d thought he would stay and take a job
at her father’s lumberyard or go into the banking business with his
own father. She’d thought they would marry and begin a family, but
she’d been wrong. Richard had no interest in working a sawmill or
riding on his father’s success. He’d craved the big city and the
sort of life a small-town girl knew nothing about. Why he’d come
back now Amelia didn’t know, but she was certain it wasn’t for
her.

Amelia glanced at the folder on his desk and
realized she was caught up in salving old wounds instead of trying
to prevent the present financial disaster facing herself and her
mother. Suddenly exhausted, she leaned against the desk and looked
Richard in the eye. “Our past is inconsequential at this point. My
mother is destitute and I have no idea how I’m going to support
her.”

“My offer of help was sincere.” Richard
cupped her jaw. “I want you,” he said quietly. “Don’t look so
shocked. We’re adults, Amelia. I can see that we’re both bored out
of our minds. You need money. I want a companion. If you’re
willing, we can have a private, intimate relationship and offer
each other something that no one else needs to know about.”

Although they were behind closed doors,
Amelia’s jaw dropped at his audacity.

Richard took advantage of her shock and
kissed her.

The heat of his mouth, the sweep of his
tongue, jolted her. Her mouth remembered his as if only yesterday
they had been lovers, but her heart reminded her of Richard’s
betrayal and she found the strength to push him away.

“I meant that as a compliment,” he said. “A
private relationship could serve both of us.”

“Does that private relationship include
marriage, Richard?”

“No.”

“How chivalrous of you.” Amelia tried to push
past him, but he caught her arms and held her immobile.

“This isn’t an issue of integrity, nor does
it have anything to do with our past. It’s about need and desire.
Plain and simple. We’re two adults who need each other, and you
know it.”

Amelia stared at him, wondering how on earth
she could be tempted by his outrageous proposition when he was so
obviously a rat and when it went against every fiber of what she
considered honest and decent. But she felt the pull of her old
infatuation as surely as she felt his warm hands banding her
arms.

Maybe it was only desperation driving her.
Maybe her fear over her father’s dire financial situation was
tempting her to accept Richard’s offer. Or maybe it was a more
pathetic reason. Maybe it was simply because she was dying inside
and was hungry for any scrap of human affection tossed her way.

Kyle gripped Tom
Drake’s business register in his hands, unable to believe he’d just
made the biggest mistake of his life.

Tom Drake was broke.

Everything of value at the mill had been
mortgaged to the bank: the buildings, the timber, even the horses.
Not only was Kyle out the money Tom had owed him for the timber
he’d bought, but Kyle had just used every cent in his and his
brothers’ joint business account to purchase a mill teetering on
the edge of bankruptcy. He may as well have thrown their money into
quicksand.

A sickening rush of heat filled Kyle’s chest
and the first stirring of fear snaked through his gut. None of them
could take on this avalanche of debt. It would bury the depot and
jeopardize the livelihood of each one of them.

Panic pushed its way up his throat and one
thought kept circling Kyle’s mind. Did Amelia know about her
father’s debt? And if she did, why hadn’t she told Kyle?

He stared down at the slanted writing in
Tom’s journal knowing that the need to ease his guilt and fulfill
his promise to Tom had driven him to act in haste. He shouldn’t
have let his sympathy for Amelia overshadow his instincts. He
shouldn’t have put so much faith in Tom and believed him incapable
of getting himself into a financial crisis. He should have
researched his investment before giving Victoria a bank draft.
Dammit all, he should have looked beyond Amelia’s melancholy eyes
and found out more about her father’s business.

Boyd paced the floor and eyed Kyle with
disgust. “You said this would be a good investment, but this
lumberyard is a disaster!”

Judging by Radford’s and Duke’s matching
expressions, they had discovered the same horrid mess in the
folders they’d been leafing through. Radford pushed the drawer
closed with his elbow. “What could have caused Tom to get himself
into this kind of trouble?” he asked, his voice filled with concern
rather than the condemnation reflected in Boyd’s comments.

Kyle had no idea. In a million years, Kyle
wouldn’t have believed Tom would ever be desperate enough to
mortgage his mill. That’s what Kyle got for trusting someone. He
should have learned his lesson when his own damned brother betrayed
him.

“You should have
known
what type of
investment you were making, Kyle. You’ve drilled that lesson into
my head every day for the last five years. All you’ve been harping
about lately is that a tavern is a bad investment.” Boyd stopped in
front of the desk and shoved his dark hair off his forehead, his
gaze boring into Kyle’s. “At least an alehouse has the potential
for making a profit. This pathetic deal you made is going to ruin
us.”

Boyd spoke the truth, but all Kyle could
think about was how he would tell Amelia about her father’s debt.
Or how he would manage to control his anger if she’d known about it
and let him walk into a deal with the potential to destroy him.