Authors: Leo Furey
The next Saturday afternoon, we're on our way back to the Mount from Bannerman Park. Me, Murphy, and O'Neill. Two sea cadets carrying tags and tin cans pass us. They're so tiny O'Neill thinks they're midgets.
“Whatcha got, boys?” Murphy asks, putting his big hands around the tin can.
“Tags. It's Tag Day,” they both say, in unison, their voices hoarse.
“I'm Petty Officer Wilson. This is Able Seaman March. We're with RCSC
Terra Nova
.” He points to the gold lettering on his cap.
Able Seaman March, who is missing a front tooth, explains that Tag Day is used by the sea cadets to raise money for their cadet corp.
“Last year we raised over a t'ousand dollars,” he says.
“How?” I ask.
“Just stands around supermarkets mostly and asks people if they'd like to support the cadets by buying a tag. If they says yes, we gives 'em a tag and they puts money in the tin. That's all's to it. Then we brings our money back to our Chief Petty Officer, and he counts it all up and tells the Corps how much we collected at the next sea cadet meeting. Last year I brought in over a hundred dollars.”
“Can I have a tag?” Murphy asks. “But I got no money.”
“That's okay, we got tons. Here, take one. We're finished for the day,” the deeper voice says.
“Will you be selling them tomorrow?” Murphy asks. “Mind if I try on your hat?”
He passes Murphy his hat. “Nope. Not sellin' tomorrow. Tag Day is only on the last two Saturdays in November. Next Saturday's the last Tag Day for this year.” Murphy's jug ears look juggier with the flat hat on.
When we get back to the Mount, Murphy tells Blackie about our encounter with the two little sea cadets. “It'd be a great way to raise money for the Klub,” he says, his freckles standing out as he speaks. Blackie agrees and sends for Father Cross.
“Soup, you make the costumes of the world,” Blackie says, watching Father Cross blush. “Zorro, the Lone Ranger, Geronimo . . . You make 'em all.” Today, Cross's acne seems less pimply than usual.
“He can work magic with a sheet off a bed or an old curtain,” Blackie reminds us.
“You're gonna turn Big Murph into a sailor,” Blackie says. “Only got till next Saturday. Tag Day begins at nine o'clock. Gotta get goin'.” And immediately he puts Cross on the payroll to do a uniform for Murphy. Father Cross says to put the money toward the marathon, that it will take a day or so, and he'll get started right away. He finishes the gun shirt in jig's time, white with a sky-blue trim across the square neck. He needs to dye the blue trim, but it looks beautiful. He is working on the bell bottoms when he gets really sick. Rags says he has the mumps and puts him in the infirmary. He says nobody is allowed near him, that he's contagious. We're all at a loss as to how to finish the uniform. Nobody but Father Cross can make costumes. Murphy says he'll give it a go, and Blackie tells him to get right at it.
“Father Cross will direct you from sick bay. Tomorrow's Friday. That uniform's gotta be ready.”
He orders everyone in the Klub to pitch in and make tags, small white squares with a blue profile of a cadet. Each tag has a hole at the top, and a piece of white thread is attached so the buyer can tie it to a button.
After lights out at nine o'clock, when we know the coast is clear, we watch Murphy work away. We are surprised. We knew he wouldn't be as good as Cross, but we can't believe how quickly his big hands cut and sew the material, stopping only long enough to run a hand through the shock of hair that keeps falling over his forehead. We all help out. “Santa's little elves,” Oberstein keeps saying. Everyone is excited, except Bug, who's a pain. He stands around, smoking and joking about how ugly everything looks and how we'll never finish in time. When Murphy gets stuck and doesn't know what to do, Blackie orders one of the elves to sneak down to the infirmary and ask Father Cross for directions. Ryan or Kavanagh returns and tells Murphy to use this or that shirt or to steal a piece of material from the laundry room or the sewing room. Or to create color by mixing blueberry jam with lard stolen from the kitchen storeroom. Fitzpatrick returns with measurements and directions for cutting and sewing. A triangle here, a few rectangles there. We are dog-tired at the end of the night. My head has hardly hit the pillow when the buzzer sounds for chapel.
I don't know how to describe what Able Seaman Murphy came up with. Everything about him is perfect. His cadet cap with the black ribbon round it and the gold letteringâRCSC
Terra Nova
âmade from the gold leaf chipped from a statue of Mary in the chapel. The bell bottoms, the gun shirt, the navy blue collar, the white lanyard, even the black boots we stole from the marching band. Everything is there. It's the perfect uniform. But it's all faded. Even his freckles look duller. Murphy in faded full blues is a sight to behold. When he puts the uniform on for us he looks sad, like a shadow of the real thing. Even his tin can looks like it's been used for a thousand years. The paper is pale, the letters so faded you can hardly read them. Blackie tells Murphy to be at the Dominion Stores as soon as chores are over on Saturday morning. He gives him the fifty tags we made and says we'll have another fifty by the afternoon.
“Anyone asks about your uniform, say your mother washed it wrong,” Blackie shakes his head. “They'll believe it. No worry. You'll get sympathy. Maybe sell a hundred tags.”
Blackie tells him to put the uniform in a brown bag and change behind the supermarket. I'll never forget watching big Murph in his faded sea-cadet uniform standing outside the Dominion Stores selling tags. He looked like somebody had cut him out of cardboard and stood him up by the door. People gave him the weirdest looks. But almost everyone gave him a dime or a quarter. A few people gave him a dollar bill.
Tag Day comes and goes, and Saturday afternoon we all head to the Bat Cave to count the money. We're all pretty excited, thinking we'll be divvying up some of the cash among ourselves. But Blackie waves the speaking stick.
“Richardson needs a few pairs of sneakers and other things. And Ryan's runnin' real good. Maybe a pair for him too. All that money's for the marathon fund.”
Blackie waves the speaking stick again and extends it toward the pile of money on the tree stump where we're counting. “How much's Able Seaman Murphy collected for the Dare Klub?”
“Sixty-three dollars and forty-two cents,” Oberstein says. Everyone cheers.
“We'll need a seconder to bank it for the marathon,” Blackie says.
“I'll second,” Murphy says.
It isn't what we want to hear. But we all know Blackie's right, so nobody says a word.
“Oberstein's gonna take three dollars for Father Cross, two for Murphy. The rest is goin' in the Bank of Newfoundland.” Blackie points to a huge boulder near the far wall of the cave. We gather up the money and put it back in Ryan's socks, which he donated for the cause. We hand it to Blackie, who orders us to roll back the big boulder that covers the hole that contains the homemade vault Father Cross made out of cement and scraps of iron. In it we keep all our valuablesâmoney, tin food, the stolen wine and things we need for the marathon. The vault is almost as heavy as the big boulder. When six of us have the boulder cleared from the hole, Blackie opens his shirt and removes a key from a chain with a medal of Our Lady of Perpetual Help that he keeps around his neck. We watch him put the money into the vault and snap the padlock shut. Four of us lower the vault back into the three-foot hole. Then we roll the boulder back in place over the hole and lock the door to the Bat Cave before heading back for a feed of pea soup and dumplings and a slice of cold Diefenbaker meat, which is what we have every Saturday night before study hall.
After supper, we have half an hour free time before study hall, so Blackie orders us to do laps around the soccer field. He's always doing that. Every bit of spare time we have, he's got us running or working out. Murphy jokes that Blackie's training so hard because he plans on running away and wants to be in perfect shape.
The late November weather is cold, like winter, but as we run we quickly begin to sweat. Past the halfway mark, with Ryan outdistancing Richardson for the first time, a wind comes up that has a terrible bite to it. The sun is starting to go down, and soon it will be dark and unbearably cold, so we run all the harder. The days are getting shorter now. Another year is almost over, and winter is on its way. After the laps, Blackie calls us together and says, “Brothers askin' why we're runnin' so much, just say we're playin' a game. Say it's called who lasts the longest.”
Most Saturday study halls, McCann has us exchange composition books to speed up the marking. All the guy next to you has to do if he wants to give you a break is mark a few mistakes correct. It's nearly impossible to get caught. And everyone in class turns a blind eye to a few mistakes once in a while. Everyone, that is, except Bug. He wouldn't turn a blind eye for love or money. Every spelling mistake. Every grammar error. Minus 1â2, Bug writes in the margin in red ink for every mistake. He sits directly in front of me, so I have to exchange composition books with him a lot. And even though I always turn a blind eye for him, Bug never gives me a single break. He always has a spelling mistake or two or a capitalization problem or a misplaced modifier. He isn't that good a writer, but he's a great reader. When he reads out loud you would think there wasn't a single mistake in his composition. I cornered him once and asked him why he wouldn't give anyone a break.
“Can't chance it,” he whined.
“C'mon, Bug, for God's sake, a single spelling mistake. Couldn't you just give me one spelling mistake? I give you at least two or three every time I get your composition.”
“Your problem,” he said. “I can't chance it. Might get caught. What then? You gonna take my whacks? Not likely, brother.”
“C'mon, Bug, be a sport. You won't get caught. What's a half mark?”
“Not takin' a chance on gettin' the shit kicked outta me for your spelling mistake,” Bug said. “It ain't worth it.”
“I'll give you ten cents on my canteen card,” I begged.
“Nope. I'm resolved,” he said, using Brother Malone's favorite word, folding his arms and pursing his lips the way Malone does when he refuses to let us stay up past ten o'clock to watch the last period of
Hockey Night in Canada
.
“Bug, you'll never get caught,” I argued. “Nobody ever gets caught. McCann always sits behind his desk and records the mark you give. There's no way he's gonna come to your desk and check the number of mistakes. All he ever asks is for you to read the composition out loud. You can correct a mistake or two as you read. He'll never know.”
“He might, birdbrain. Might just be the one time he comes to a desk to check. While I'm reading. What then?” Bug said.
“But I always turn the blind eye for you, Bug.”
“That's your problem, brother.”
“Do it, Bug,” I said. “If he catches you, just say you didn't see it. Say it was an honest mistake. Say you thought the word was spelled right or that you didn't think the word was supposed to be capitalized. He won't question you. He never has. Not once.”
“It only takes once,” Bug snapped. “Once, and I get caught. I'm a dead duck. No thanks, brother. I won't be taking any chances. Forget it. I told you, I'm resolved.”
I argued with him until I was blue in the face, but he never gave in. I even threatened to stop turning a blind eye. And once I did exactly that. He misspelled the word
gravel,
and had four other mistakes, and I took off two and a half marks. When it came time to call his grade, I smiled across at him and announced “Seventy-five percent.” But it didn't change a thing.
“Don't be such a prick, Bug,” I yelled at him one day in the gymnasium. “It's only a few lousy marks.”
“Fuck if I care. You do what you gotta do, brother,” he said. “I'll do what I gotta do. Like I told you, I'm resolved.” He folded his arms and pouted. So I gave up. I didn't wanna push him too hard in case he threatened to squeal about the wine or the marathon.
I can never figure Bug out. He's a puzzle with a lot of pieces missing. He won't take a chance on something as foolproof as turning a blind eye to composition mistakes, but he sneaks to the bakery during the middle of the night to steal a fresh loaf at the drop of a hat. Or he steals from the canteen or the post office when he's on duty. Or from the collection box during a wedding or funeral Mass. He'd even take a chance on stealing cigarettes from one of the brothers, all of which are much more likely to land him the strap than giving me a few extra marks on composition day.
Bug can be strange sometimes, especially when he gets a notion in his head. When he becomes resolved, as he calls it, not even a bomb could move him.