The Loneliest Tour (5 page)

There were probably half a dozen
excuses to pull out of thin air.

But what did Ryker do?

“
Jett
punched me,
”
he said to
Sasha.
“
We were in a
disagreement about a guitar solo.
”

“
Shit,
”
Jett whispered.

An addict
…
who is violent
…
hey, there, rockstar
cliche
…

“
You
do that often?
”
Sasha
asked, looking at Jett.

“
Only
when Ryker deserves it.
”

Sasha laughed.

Portis laughed.

“
Hey,
”
Colby said,
“
this is our life. It
’
s what we do. We have studio
sessions. We argue, we
’
re
family. Now I can
’
t speak
for these two guitarists, but I wouldn
’
t
have the guts to tell them anything bad about their guitar parts. Would you?
”

Sasha kept grinning.
“
I guess not. So, everything is
okay with the band?
”

Ryker approached Jett. He put an
arm around Jett
’
s neck.
“
Of course.
”

“
So
what I heard walking in,
”
Sasha said, waving her pen around like a witch
’
s
wand,
“
that
’
s something new?
”

“
Yeah,
”
Colby said.
“
Something we didn
’
t expect anyone to hear.
”

“
That
’
s my fault,
”
Portis said.
“
I should have called beforehand.
”

“
It
’
s not like I have the sample,
”
Sasha said.
“
I liked it though. Very good
song in the works, it seems. What else is in the works?
”

“
You
know it already,
”
Van said.
“
Music and touring. What
else is there?
”

Sasha looked at Jett.
“
How are you feeling?
”

“
Great.
”

“
I
mean, what
’
s the
…
what
’
s the next step for you? Continued meetings? Rehab
after the tour? Anything to keep you away from those demons?
”

Jett
’
s
throat tightened.
“
You know
what, there
’
s a lot I could
say right now. The typical stuff. The lies. The bullshit. But I
’
ll give you the truth. I made a
big mistake. And I didn
’
t
pay for it the right way. Maybe I should be in jail right now. Maybe I should
be in rehab. But you know what? I
’
ve
been to enough meetings to see what demons really are. I
’
m a lucky man right now to stand here, playing
guitar in a studio, punching Ryker in the mouth. Trust me, he deserves it. When
you get to know him, he
’
s a
real asshole.
”

“
Screw
you, bro,
”
Ryker said with
a laugh.

“
Okay,
”
Sasha said, waving Ryker off.
“
Tell me more, Jett. I mean, it
’
s no lie that
’
s what this piece is going to
focus on. The band is great. We all know Willow Son is amazing. We all know
what you guys can do in a studio and on stage. But I want to know
…
why? What were you thinking?
What are you thinking now?
”

“
Right
now, I
’
m still not sold on
that guitar solo you heard,
”
Jett said.
“
That
’
s where I
’
m at. I
’
ve
had an amazing support system around me. My brothers of rock n
’
roll in this room. The fans out
there who have kept their faith alive in Willow Son. Emails and letters, those
who have suffered in their own right. Those who chase away their demons with
the music. Think about that for a second. Someone listening to a Willow Son
song right now to keep their head clean and straight. Tell me how that
’
s not the most powerful thing in
the world.
”

“
I
wouldn
’
t argue it,
”
Sasha said.
“
I
’
m
personally three years sober. Drinking.
”

“
Good
for you,
”
Jett said.
“
You
’
re a strong person. Stronger than me. Because
…
and it
’
s bad taste to say. But I was never addicted. Never
would be either. Just a bad decision and bad timing.
”

“
You
say that, Jett, but what if you didn
’
t
get caught? You would have gotten high on pills. Then what? How much were you
going to buy? When would you have called your supplier again? How long until
you
’
d be using your crew to
go out and find what you wanted? Not to mention keeping it from the band.
”

“
Who
said he kept it from us?
”
Colby said, stepping forward.

The tension in the room was thick.

Portis stepped next to Sasha.
“
I think we have enough, Sasha.
This isn
’
t a daytime TV
show attack
…”

“
It
’
s okay,
”
Jett said.
“
She
’
s right. Everything is true. How
much? How long? That
’
s a
slippery slope. I do think about it, but I have no answer. I
’
m not going to make something
up. My addiction is the music. The studio. My heart races with the thought of
getting on that stage tonight and playing. But you are right. It could have
been worse and maybe there will always be that temptation.
”

“
Maybe?
”
Sasha asked.
“
You
’
re a goddamn rockstar. Your entire world is
temptation.
”

“
That
’
s enough,
”
Van said.
“
This
is pointless.
”

“
He
’
s right,
”
Ryker said.
“
Nobody
is going to gang up on Jett. He made a bad decision and that was it.
”

“
Okay,
”
Portis said.
“
Sasha, why don
’
t
…”

“
Yeah,
”
Sasha said.
“
That
’
s fine. I
’
ll
write up about the song I heard. The brother-like fight between Ryker and Jett.
I
’
ll touch on the arrest,
too.
”

Sasha turned and stormed out of the
studio.

“
You
trust her?
”
Colby asked
Portis.

“
More
than the others,
”
Portis
said.
“
She won
’
t fuck me. Well, she will
…
nevermind.
”

“
Christ,
”
Brantley said.
“
This is going to follow us.
”

“
For
a long time,
”
Portis said.

“
Fuck,
”
Jett said.

He made a line for the door.

Everyone called for his name but he
was gone.

Down the hall, he ran. The images
of Masie played through his mind again. Her well shaped body, messy hair, big
dark eyes staring at him.

He kicked open the back door and
found Sasha halfway down the steps.
“
Hey.
”

She stopped and looked up, visibly
shaken.
“
Jett.
”

“
What
…
what was that?
”

“
I
’
m sorry. I was just reliving my
own past. A lot of things you said I went through. Convincing myself so much.
”

“
What
did you do then?
”

“
I
found love.
”

“
Love?
”

“
Yeah.
Love. I met someone. And it filled all that emptiness. Once and for all. Isn
’
t that what part of addiction
really is? Just trying to fill a void. We like the way it feels not to feel
empty so we keep going back. Until the addiction turns on us and we
’
re hopeless.
”

Jett slowly walked down the stairs.
“
You can print anything you
want. I don
’
t care. I know
what I did. The reason I
’
ve
been hiding is because of the band. The four guys up there don
’
t deserve to fight my battle.
But they will, for me. Because we love each other. I know the empty feeling.
Thank you for being here today. And being honest. It
’
s made me feel honest.
”

“
Jett,
are you still empty somewhere?
”

“
Yeah,
I am.
”

Sasha reached out and touched his
arm.
“
This is all off the
record. You need to fill that void before
something
else does. That
’
s my advice. I
’
ll run the story as I said
though. I won
’
t paint you
bad. You could have been an asshole to me about it, but I saw the truth in your
eyes. Maybe that
’
s why I
got a little worked up. Usually when I
’
m
dealing with celebrities, they
’
re
either fucked up or act like they
’
re
fucked up.
”

“
Trust
me, we
’
re all fucked up,
”
Jett said with a grin.
“
The whole world is.
”

“
I
won
’
t argue that either.
Good luck with everything.
”

Sasha walked down the rest of the
steps and was gone.

Jett backed up and sat down on a
step. He folded his hands and rested his chin.

A void.

Christ, if that wasn
’
t the truth.

The scary part though was that
music wasn
’
t going to be
the thing that filled the void fully.

It was going to be something else.

Or someone else
…
but that would take one
hell of a woman.

**

Masie felt Ian
’
s hand touch her knee. She sat
in the backstage area, her heart pounding with nerves. She had made the mistake
of looking out to the floor and seeing all one thousand people ready for the
show to start.

The club had an upper floor and a
lower floor. The main floor was where the stage was. There were three bars
against the back wall, along with two sets of stairs that came up to the second
floor. Half the second floor was for the general public, the other half for VIP
’
s, including those associated
with the bands playing, and the bands themselves.

Colin had been hanging around the
front of the VIP area, looking for women to invite back. That meant anyone
showing cleavage was back in the VIP area, drinking and laughing with Colin.

It was a pathetic sight.

Almost as pathetic as Ian trying to
make a move on Masie.

She hurried to stand up, adjusting
her clothes.

The attire wasn
’
t the greatest in the world, and
included a white t-shirt that was definitely too small and a black bra that
showed through the white shirt easily. The shirt didn
’
t cover Masie
’
s
stomach either. The jeans were torn up, on purpose. It was damn near impossible
to dance in regular jeans, but these were cut in all the right spots to allow
Masie and the rest of the dancers to move. But it also meant half her ass was
hanging out of them. Oh, and another rule from Crutch Fail? No
granny
panties
. Thongs only.

Which meant Masie was wearing a
thong with the jeans all ripped up.

She stood there and felt wildly
exposed.

It didn
’
t help the way Ian looked at her too.

He stood up and touched her arm.
“
Hey, you need a drink or
something?
”

“
No,
”
Masie said.
“
I
’
m
fine. Just waiting.
”

“
Don
’
t think about it. It
’
s all good, girl. I
’
ll be right there to take care
of you. Hey, I talked to Portis and he
’
s
excited about all this. You know he owns this place, right?
”