Authors: K J Bell
Brent lied when he said things hadn’t changed. I saw it in his eyes just before the doorbell rang.
Reese groaned in frustration. “Good, then maybe you should give us that time. Why don’t you leave? You can stay somewhere close and I’ll call you if we need you.”
“Absolutely not!” I shouted from the bottom of the stair case. Anger filled every cell within me. I turned my fury on Reese. “Who do you think you are to show up here demanding things? Paramour or not, you don’t control me. Brent has been nothing but respectable. He hasn’t done anything to me, and despite what you may think, he’s not interfering. He was giving you a courtesy by telling you I have reservations about what I am supposed to feel for you, and this is how you treat him?” I was scolding him now.
Reese tried to defend himself. “Claire, it’s not like that. It’s…”
I interrupted him before he could spew out more babble that I was not interested in hearing. “Please, do not start on the order of things and how our seals are stamped to match. I already got that message loud and clear, thank you. You can’t just expect to show up here and have me fall for you the second you walk in the door.”
He approached me in an intimidating show of control. “Are you kidding me? That’s exactly what I expected, but thanks to Brent’s interference, that’s not going to happen.”
Brent interjected. “Look Claire, Reese is right. Why don’t I head out for a while so the two of you can talk? It’s probably for the best.” He headed for the front door, looking back at me, uncertainty shadowing his face. He pulled the door open.
“No,” I shouted, surprised by the depth of my own voice. My insides were vibrating like the sensation I would get as a kid when I sat on the washing machine during the spin cycle. But that was a joyful feeling and what I felt now was pure rage. I was not a pawn to be played by Reese, or anyone else. Staring at the doorway, I looked past Brent as he started to make his way out. The vibration in my body increased, becoming more forceful than before. The door slammed shut furiously with Brent still inside
.
Did I do that?
“You are not leaving!” I yelled to Brent.
Brent moved his eyes between Reese and me. I was not finished. Energy was building up inside of me. Cupboards began to open and shut on their own, forcing glass and china to fall to the floor, shattering into a million pieces. Wind swirled through the air around us like a tornado, tearing apart everything in its path. I attempted to turn off my brain, begging for it to stop but it didn’t. My nose started to bleed like before, and my ears were ringing. I felt Brent’s hand on my arm and then heard his voice. I continued to listen allowing his words to soothe me. The anger and resentment left me and my breathing calmed.
“Claire, it’s okay. You’re fine.” I fell into him, allowing him to envelope me in his arms and lower me to the floor.
When I opened my eyes, Reese had joined us on the floor with a towel. He held it out for me, shame evident in his eyes. His effort was nothing like when Brent had found me at Maggie’s, and so tenderly wiped the blood from my face. I snatched the towel from his hand, wiped away the blood, and tossed the towel to the floor.
Turning to face Brent, I felt my heartbeat slowing.
“Don’t leave me, okay? Don’t you do it!” I cried, slapping him in the chest harder than I meant to, urging him to listen to me.
“I won’t, Claire. I promise. I’m not going anywhere,” Brent said, cradling me to his chest. I saw Reese shift awkwardly away from us. He started to say something but must have thought better of it given the show I had just put on.
My mind was brimming with worry looking at Reese. What was I doing? Who was I to think I could turn a cheek to our design? It had already been decided. Brent said the seal was too strong to fight and if he and Reese were right, then I was changing the order of things. There must be consequences for that right? Perhaps everything was off because I was refusing Reese.
Extending my hand out to grab Reese’s, I expected the contact might change everything, and suddenly I would forget how I felt about Brent. The kind of shift in feelings I had read about. I would be satisfied. If it was meant to be, then that is how it would be. Comfortable in my choice, I embraced my destiny for the first time. I won’t let Brent go, wanting him in my life, but I would give Reese the opportunity to fulfill his purpose. As our hands connected, I felt only guilt because nothing happened. No spark, no chemical reaction, nothing. Brent said it was not an instant thing, like imprinting, but I would not be able to fight it, that I would need Reese. But I didn’t feel anything and I could fight it. The only one I needed was Brent.
My mind wrestled with my feelings for the two of them, yet Brent remained the only victor. A few snap shot pictures flashed through my mind, Brent and I together, a few holding hands, a few kissing, a wedding cake and one of a quaint yellow house with white shutters – day lilies lined the driveway. My subconscious was screaming at me that I had obligations, and needed to grow up, but the photo album on display in my head was undeniable. Reese watched me warily as he looked into my eyes. He knew the truth.
Pulling my hand away, I felt my insides pang with guilt.
“I’m sorry,” I mumbled, begging for his understanding.
Reese came closer, embracing my cheek in his palm. “Hey, it’s fine, Claire, don’t apologize.” His words were sincere but they could not mask his disappointment. “I know this is overwhelming and I didn’t make it any easier barging in here the way I did. I’ve loved you my entire life and realizing you haven’t loved me back is hard. I had this idea in my head that it would be easy for us and when it wasn’t, it drove me crazy. The day you sat across from me at the lunch table I wanted to throw my arm around you and scream to everyone that you were mine, and you barely noticed I was there. It hurt, and then I heard what Logan was thinking about you and I wanted to rip his throat out.”
How could he have known what Logan was thinking about me? But then I remembered he probably had some abilities too.
“Wait, you read minds?” I asked.
Answering carefully, he began. “Yes, but only if someone’s thoughts are about you and they’re meant to cause you harm. Logan’s were filled with malice. I tried ignoring them so I wouldn’t make a scene. Every fiber in me was begging me to go over and hurt him, but how would I have explained it, if I let that happen?” He continued, telling me that after a while, he couldn’t take it anymore. “I went over and let him know that if he didn’t stop making you uncomfortable, he would have to deal with me. He tried to deny it at first. Of course, he didn’t know I could read his thoughts, so he stuck with telling me that you were a freak. He finally agreed to layoff when he realized I wasn’t persuaded. You must have thought something, but I couldn’t look at you when I came back. I had to be closer to you. I was afraid he might actually try to hurt you, even after my warning. I’m sorry I lost my temper. I just wanted you to be safe, Claire,” he finished
Reese had been forthcoming and completely sincere. Silence fell between us while I recalled the first time we met. He wasn’t staking a claim to be like I had thought. He was defending me, shielding me from Logan’s wrath. I thought badly of him, and he only considered my safety. This was as hard for him as it was for me. Stubbornly, I had only allowed for how I was feeling, which also made me selfish.
Reese trailed his fingers down my cheek to my neck, tracing the hideous markings. “You have no idea how angry these make me,” he said looking confounded.
I knew he was asking my permission to remove them. “Go ahead. It’s okay,” I swallowed nervously, granting his unspoken request.
Rubbing his hands together vigorously, he inhaled sharply, before placing his hands gently on the markings. He waited several seconds before pulling his hands away. His eye brows creased, his expression demoralized. His eyes were silently asking questions and he looked towards Brent for answers. “I don’t understand.”
Brent looked me over. “I don’t either,” he said, sounding as confused as Reese.
“It didn’t work, right? I still have the markings?” I asked them both, though I already knew their answer.
Brent was the first to respond.
“Yes Claire, you do, but don’t worry. We’ll figure it out,” he said, trailing his fingers down my cheek, erasing my stress.
“What are you talking about?” Reese asked Brent fiercely. “There’s nothing to figure out. Her feelings for you are getting in the way. She can’t accept me in the way she is supposed to, so I can’t help her. Don’t you see that? I haven’t been able to read any thoughts related to her since the Couriers came to Maggie’s. I thought it was because she was safe. But, it’s obviously because of whatever is going on between the two of you.”
Was he right? Were my feelings for Brent hindering his abilities?
“Brent, you said something was off, that things were not happening the way they were supposed to. There has to be a reason for that. Maybe Reese is right.” I said the words, but I couldn’t bring myself to believe them.
Clarity suddenly circled my thoughts, focusing on the only possible answer. I didn’t have any experience with falling in love, but I had read countless romance novels. In those novels, the characters found their soul mates. The feelings of fictional characters written on page after page spoke to me. Their feelings were the same feelings I had for Brent, which prompted me to recall another passage from my book.
“It isn’t possible to love and part. You will wish that it was. You can transmute love, ignore it, muddle it, but you can never pull it out of you. I know by experience that the poets are right: love is eternal.”
Recognition flashed through my memory. It was the reoccurring dream I had been having, about meeting a boy on the first day of school – a boy I fell in love with. In my dream the boy was faceless, hidden behind blurry light. The boy in my mind right now was the same boy from my dream, but he was not faceless.
“It’s you, Brent, it’s always been you,” I insisted.
Staring at me more intensely than he ever had, he tugged my hands to his chest. I expected him to deny me but he continued to gaze into my eyes, reading my emotions, exploring my thoughts.
“It’s you,” he replied. “I’ve had the same dream, Claire.”
As though controlled by a force other than my own, I slid close to Brent, placing my forehead on his. Visions circled inside my head of the two of us, but they were not of past events. They were pictures of memories that hadn’t happened yet. I saw the same miniature version of Brent as before. Only this time we were camping on a lake. Brent was chasing him through a field and little Brent was yelling back, “you can’t catch me, you can’t catch me.” Brent finally reached the boy, tossing him into the air above his shoulders, both of them laughing cheerfully.
As I released the connection, I looked at Brent, his slack-jawed expression telling me he saw the same thing. He smiled down at me lovingly and whispered, “wow” while removing his forehead from mine. Wrapping his soft hands around my neck, he slid his fingers up under my jaw, and I thought he was going to kiss me.
Pulling away, he glowered at my neck. I knew what he was going to do. Rubbing his hands together, he placed his fingers on the markings in the same way Reese had moments ago. Judging by Reese’s reaction, it was working.
“I don’t believe it,” Brent uttered in barely a whisper.
Without hesitation, I removed my shirt – ignoring the fact Reese was in the room – allowing Brent to remove the hideous charcoal handprints from my chest. When he removed his hands, his face looked tortured.
“What, what’s the matter?” I asked worriedly.
Brent choked out his answer. “I’m fine. I just felt all of it, Claire. I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.”
His eyes glassed over, threatening to spill tears. He set his jaw firm, holding them back.
I took his hands in mine. “Don’t, please don’t cry. I’m okay because you were there.”
“Dammit, Claire. I should have protected you,” Brent revealed. “Nobody is ever going to hurt you again,” he promised, holding my gaze, his life taking on a whole new purpose. Not just to protect The Locket, but to protect me as the woman eternally sealed to him. “If anything happens to you, it will kill me.”
My heart swelled.
“I know, but we’ll be okay. We’re going to do this, together. That’s how it’s supposed to be now,” I reassured him as he removed the last of the markings and put my shirt back on. Watching him dress me stirred a feeling of security inside of me.
“What the hell is going on, Brent?” Reese interrupted the intimacy. “How did you do that?”
Brent responded. “I’m not exactly sure how it happened or why, but I’m positive that I’m her Paramour.”
“That can’t be, Brent. You know that. It’s impossible,” Reese barked, looking between both Brent and I, waiting for clarification.
“I know Reese, but I saw it with my own eyes in Claire’s vision and it’s true.”
Reese looked defeated and I had no clue how to help him.
“So what I am supposed to do now? Sit here without a purpose and be completely useless? I’ve waited for this my entire life, and now it’s changed, just like that?” His voice cracked and I felt the sense of emptiness inside of him. He was left hallow and I was miserable knowing that it was my fault. There was nothing I could provide him with to fill the hole. Words were inadequate as my heart belonged to someone else. To Brent.
Interrupting them, I made a misguided attempt to defend myself. “No Reese, you are supposed to be here. I can feel it. I do need you here. I can’t see clearly why and I can’t explain it. I only know this will take the three of us and I want you to stay. Please,” I urged him, taking his hand in mine.
Reese pulled his hand away. Guilt clawed at me, as he hung his head.
“Claire, do you even know what you’re asking me and how hard this is? Everything I have ever thought, it’s all wrong,” he said, his grey eyes looking dull and tired.
“I know Reese, and I’m sorry, I really am, but stay, please?” I pleaded with him because I didn’t want him to leave. I knew it wasn’t because I was in love with him, but for reasons we would figure out together.
The lines around his eyes relaxed.
“Fine, I’ll stay because I need answers too. I want to have a normal life for once. The sooner we figure this out, the sooner that can happen,” he spelled out, asserting his feelings.
“Thank you, thank you, thank you,” I said excitedly, throwing my arms around his neck, hugging him in a brotherly manner.
Pulling my arms from his neck, he spoke straight-faced.
“Um, let’s not, okay?” His obvious discomfort made me sad. I hoped that we would be able to get past the awkwardness soon and be friends.
Reese smiled slyly at me. “Hey, I brought you something, a birthday present,” he announced, leaping to his feet and leaving the room.