The Line That Binds (28 page)

There were several root systems and a few extra beams on the ground, but nothing else. It was another dead end for my search. This tunnel had no light at the end of it, just the other slim oak door. LJ moved behind me and grabbed my waist as I turned the knob. I walked into the dirt room of the basement, shoving a few broken chairs aside so we could pass through.

Her eyes scanned the cramped area, noticing the old furniture pieces, all broken in some way. “Your basement looks too much like mine,” she joked, lifting a spindled leg that had been detached from its dining chair.

“Yeah, unfortunately,” I agreed, moving toward the larger oak door. “The main part is a little better.”

We walked through the other door into the workout area. She moved to the heavy bag and took a fake swing. “That wasn’t as rewarding as cleaning a toilet.”

“There’s something wrong with you if you honestly prefer cleaning.” I grabbed the bag and settled in behind it, arching my eyebrows, daring her to take a real swing.

She cocked back and threw her hardest, letting out a little grunt when her fist connected. It was a decent hit for a first try. Her grunt was cute, and sexy, but I wouldn’t tell her. I didn’t want to kill the exhilaration I saw in her eyes. “You’re right,” she said, backing up from the bag. “That did feel good.”

“We’ll have to do more another time.”

“What’s with the bed? You don’t sleep down here, do you?” she asked, smoothing her hand over the bed’s bare mattress.

“Not usually. I’ll crash down here sometimes when I don’t want the sun waking me up on the weekends.”

“Can I see your room? Wait, is your grandfather here? It probably wouldn’t be good for him to see us coming upstairs when we didn’t use the front door.”

I moved toward the stairs and she followed. “No, he’s not here. He told me earlier that he had to go shopping. You can come up, but I’m not sure if it’s a good idea for you to see my room.”

“No way are you wiggling out of that,” she said with a laugh. “I showed you mine, embarrassing psycho tendencies and all. So, you’re up. And don’t even make the excuse that it’s dirty; you’ve already warned me about your lack of cleaning habits. Just don’t expect me to clean it for you now that you finally have me over here.”

“Okay, suit yourself,” I agreed as we entered the main hallway. “I’ll show you the rest first.”

We walked past the bedrooms then entered the dining room and living room where she inhaled deeply. “Pipe?”

“Yeah, Pop used to smoke. He quit a while back but the house won’t let it go.”

She moved to the fireplace and looked at the well painting above the mantle. “Here too?”

“Pop and Janine were pretty close.” I shrugged and moved toward the kitchen, not wanting to discuss the well. It was bad enough that I still hadn’t found any new information; I didn’t want to fumble through another conversation about it with her.

“What was the deal between them? Did they have a relationship?”

“I thought the same thing for a while, and I think my grandfather loved her in a way, but I don’t think they were ever involved. I’m really not sure why. My grandmother died a long time ago so I don’t think that would have been a reason. I guess they were just close friends,” I replied. “Do you want some water or something?”

“No thanks,” she said, running her fingers along the cracked gray countertop. She looked out the kitchen window at her house. “My grandparents died before I was born. My grandmother was Aunt Janine’s sister. I never thought any of them were close. The pictures from the picnic basket tell me that my mother had a closer relationship to Aunt Janine than she ever told us.”

“Maybe your dad knows more about it,” I suggested, moving out of the kitchen and into the hallway. “Maybe he took some of those pictures?”

“I’ll have to ask him about it, eventually,” she said with an exhausted sigh.

“You haven’t talked to him yet, huh?”

She shook her head lightly when we stopped in front of my bedroom door. “I will. It’s just hard to accept him like I did when I was younger, especially when he can still forget me at school.”

I ran my hand down the side of her arm. “He made a mistake. He’s not going to be perfect.”

She nudged closer to me and I wrapped my arm over her shoulder. “I know,” she said with another sigh. “You’re one of those annoying guys who knows everything, aren’t you?”

“Uh, no. I definitely don’t know everything. And another courtesy warning, I definitely don’t know everything about cleaning,” I said, remembering all of the junk I’d left lying around this morning. I inwardly cringed when I opened the door for her.

Her head swiveled around, like she was studying everything. She walked delicately past the desk that had my laptop, a few books, and my riding gear thrown on top. Then she navigated around a pile of clothes to get to the window. Her fingers peeled back the dark sheet to look outside. This time the view was the grounds behind the event house.

“Sorry about the mess,” I said, picking up the pile of clothes and tossing them into my closet.

“Don’t worry about it,” she replied, letting the sheet slip from her fingers. “It’s your room, not mine.” She looked down and grabbed an empty beer bottle from beside my bed, tipping it toward me with her head tilted. “Nightcap?”

“Sometimes,” I admitted with a grin then took the bottle from her and tossed it into the trash can by the desk.

“So what is it? Problems sleeping?” she asked, taking my hand in hers and staring up into my eyes.

I turned my head toward the ceiling, unsure of what to tell her, then took a breath and dropped my face to look at her again. “When I have a lot on my mind, I’ll have a couple. Do you drink?”

She licked her lips, smiled, and leaned closer to me. “I’ve been to my share of parties. Do you prefer to drink alone?” she asked, pulling my hand to her waist then running her hand up my arm.

I stared down at her, watching her chest rise and fall shallowly under her brown tank top.
God, she is beautiful
. Specks of light glinted on her shiny black hair, like they were moving to the beat of a song I could listen to forever. Her eyelashes fluttered with a blink. I slid my hand under the rim of her shirt, gripping her waist tighter, feeling the softness of her skin under the tips of my fingers. I closed my eyes for a moment and breathed her scent in now that it wasn’t masked with the smell from the tunnel’s damp dirt. “I’m usually alone.”

Her eyes squinted, considering my answer, then she ran her other hand up my chest while her inquisitive eyes remained focused on mine. “I’m guessing it’s by choice, otherwise I’d have a hard time believing it.”

“Now you’re the one who knows everything.”

She tipped her chin higher, elongating her neck. “Is there something I should know? Are you a reclusive hermit who likes to prey on girls afraid of dark basements?”

“Not quite,” I said with a laugh, then placed my other hand on her waist, pulling her closer yet. “I used to hang out with some people who started traveling a road I refused to take. It’s a road both of us are familiar with. Unfortunately, someone paid the biggest price, and I decided not to be around any of it anymore.”

“I heard about that,” she said calmly.

“You did, huh? I’m actually surprised. It hasn’t been the latest news for a while.”

She moved to sit on my bed so I sat beside her. “When I fainted Monday, some people thought the Tylenol I took was something else. The nurse questioned me then explained the school’s self-medicating issues.”

“Ms. Mitchell,” I said. “She would know. What did she tell you?” I asked leaning back onto my elbows.

She folded her leg and pivoted her body to face me. “She told me about Harper and how you were close to her. I’m really sorry.”

I sat up again and looked over at my desk to the tiny frame with an old picture of Harper and me standing together in front of the middle school. Her brown hair was short the first year we’d met, chopped above her shoulders. She was giving me bunny ears for my grandfather’s amusement behind the camera.

I looked back at LJ. “Thanks. She was the good friend I’d needed when I first moved here. She pulled me into her group, who had lived here their whole lives. I was floored by that. Not many other people were willing to talk to the new kid. Even before we started going out in eighth grade, we’d bike to each other’s houses or get dropped off. If we got bored, we’d steal a couple of beers while we hung out here, or at her parents’ house. No big deal. I look back on the progression now and I should’ve known, you know? I’d seen so much of it in my own life that I should’ve recognized it earlier.

“Freshman year started and that’s when I finally noticed. She wasn’t as lively; she was growing more irritable around me. Emily came to our school that year and Harper scooped her up, not knowing or not caring that she was a popularity leech. Around the same time, Harper started hanging out with a group of seniors that were known for their parties. The rest of our crowd did too─Emily included. Things just got worse after that. The last time I saw her alive was our freshman homecoming dance. She begged me to go to that stupid dance, and the whole night I got to watch her trip out on some hybrid drug that she even tried to push on me. She knew my history and she didn’t give a damn,” I said, shaking my head. LJ leaned forward and ran her hand over my arm. “Later, we were out in the parking lot, waiting for some friends to drive us home. Emily begged Harper to go to an after-party. I was already pissed by then so I gave her an ultimatum: go and we’re done.

“Just like that it was over and they were off to the party. Emily called me three hours later and told me Harper had taken even more pills at the party and was rushed to the hospital. I talked to the cops and her parents the next day. After hearing a rumor that the party host was the one who gave her the pills, I hunted him down. He was a senior from another school. I’m pretty sure I broke his nose and at least one of his ribs before he took off. He landed a couple of useless hits, but was more concerned with getting away, possibly because he was carrying. I’m grateful I was scrawnier then; otherwise, I might’ve killed him. And the messed up part was I knew it wasn’t his fault. Harper did it all to herself. But I couldn’t handle that. The funeral was the following week. There wasn’t enough evidence to bust anyone for her death. The school sat up and took notice after that.”

“Shit,” LJ breathed out beside me. “Ben, I’m so sorry.”

I shook my head. “There’s no reason for pity. It’s just something that happened.”

She tugged my hand into her lap. “I’m not saying you need it. I just hope you never thought it was your fault. Any of it. Harper. Your parents. I know how it feels to think that way. For a while I thought my mom did what she did because she couldn’t stand me. I felt the same about my dad. I knew it wasn’t my fault, but the doubt was there. So, in case no one has ever told you before,” she said, sliding her fingers under my chin and pulling my eyes to hers. “It wasn’t you.”

“Yeah,” I replied with a cough. Her words hit me hard because she could relate. That was the only reason I told her; I knew she’d get it. I tightened my grip in her hands. “Thank you.”

“Anytime,” she said, rubbing her thumbs in reassuring circles on my hand.

“Hey. We’ve been gone a while. We should probably get back before Gavin discovers us missing.”

“Okay,” she agreed.

When we crossed through her basement door, LJ stopped in front of me. “I need to thank you, Ben.”

“Why?”

She placed her hands on either side of my waist, pulling my shirt nervously. “For everything. I know we really haven’t discussed what this is between us, but I want you to know that I owe you quite a bit. You’ve been completely honest with me. What you just told me is a testament to that. And I want to be honest with you too. You aren’t the person I thought you were when I first saw you either.”

“Oh, really?” I asked, cocking my eyebrow curiously.

“Really. I’m not sure if I ever would have met you before this.”

“Oh, we’ve met before, offhandedly,” I said, cutting her off.

“What? When?”

“I’m not sure you remember your last visit to Janine,” I said, watching her eyes search for my thought’s direction.

She took in a deep breath. “You were hiding by the gazebo that day, weren’t you?”

“So you do remember?”

“Yes, now I do. One of the things I remember Aunt Janine saying to me that same day was, ‘Us Stocktons have been cursed with a good memory,’ which is so sad since she ended up losing all of hers. I hadn’t thought about that in a long time.”

I nearly choked at her memory. “That is sad,” I admitted, chewing the inside of my cheek as I thought about Janine’s ironic statement.

“Anyway, sorry to get sidetracked, that just popped in my head with an image of a cute boy peeking out from behind the gazebo.” She snaked her arms up my chest.

I smiled, shoving the grenade she’d unknowingly thrown aside for now. Her fingers spread wide over my chest as she stared up at me. “That was me, quite the stalker back then.” I rested my hands on her hips.

“Apparently so,” she replied as her big green eyes fixed on mine. “I want whatever happens with us,” she said suddenly, sliding her hands past my neck then pushing her fingers through my hair.

With her arms up, her shirt lifted enough to expose the skin at her waist. My hands clenched the area greedily, its tenderness pushing me close to the mental edge. “So do I,” I admitted. And it was true. She understood me like no one had before. She was funny, gorgeous, and sweet, and I wanted everything she was willing to give.

Her body trembled against mine when I ran a hand up her back. Her lips opened with a soft sigh and I sucked the pouty bottom one into my mouth. I pulled her closer still and felt her hands tighten around my head.

That was when Harper jumped back into my mind. I thought of the picture of us as kids and remembered the night I let her go.
I wish I had the strength to let Harper go forever.
I didn’t want to mess this up with LJ. It was so new, but it felt so right.

LJ flinched and backed away.

“Are you okay?” I asked, reaching out for her.